


This Feels Like More

by mally09



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - BDSM, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Artist Clarke Griffin, BDSM, Bartender Lexa (The 100), Clexa, Clexa Endgame, Clexa sexting, Clexa smut, Consensual Sex, Developing Relationship, Did I Mention Fluff, Dom Lexa (The 100), Dom/sub, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, Jealous Clarke, Jealousy, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Sex, Linctavia - Freeform, Masturbation, Maybe a little angst, Oral Sex, Phone Sex, Romantic Friendship, Roommates, Sex, Sex Toys, Sexting, Shameless Smut, Sharing a Room, Slow Burn, Slow Burn Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Smut, Sub Clarke Griffin, The 100 - Freeform, Vaginal Fingering, clexa fluff, ranya
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:01:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 69
Words: 101,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26951833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mally09/pseuds/mally09
Summary: A modern AU setting where Clarke and Lexa meet at a bar. With traumatic pasts behind them, the pair set out on a journey of learning to build their relationship backwards, where the physical aspects of their relationship are already established, but it's the emotional ones they need to work on.ORClarke and Lexa are each other's one-night-stand until they're flat-mates. And then things just get interesting.
Relationships: Anya & Raven Reyes, Anya/Raven Reyes, Bellamy Blake/Raven Reyes, Clarke Griffin & Lexa, Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Costia/Lexa (The 100), Finn Collins/Clarke Griffin, Octavia Blake/Lincoln
Comments: 176
Kudos: 713





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I'm new to writing fan fiction. This is my first go. Hope you like it. :) Let me know in comments?  
> If this does well, I might actually consider writing some more stories? I don't know.  
> Or I might write either way, cause I thoroughly enjoyed writing this one. Enjoy!
> 
> (PS: shout out to clexa_is_endgame47 for pushing me to write for real, when all I've been doing over the last two years is wishing that I got started)

**Chapter 1:**

*Knock Knock Knock*

Clarke used the door knocker, hoping someone would be at home. She’s been visiting a number of houses recently, looking for a place she could rent or maybe even a place she could share with someone. Moving into the city was a very impulsive decision, and while Raven didn’t mind her staying over, Clarke knew she had to find a place soon. 

So here she was, knocking on the door of a place she found out was looking for a tenant. She would have called ahead, but like every other decision in her life, this was also, run on impulse. She saw a poster two streets before she reached this one that said they had a 3-BHK and were looking for a taker for one of the rooms. 

She heard someone call out from inside, “hold on, I’m coming” before the door opened. Right before her, was a lady who immediately looked at her confused. “You don’t look like a pizza-delivery guy”, and then went on to cross her arms over her chest with a smirk. Not missing a beat, Clarke responded, “Oh well, I hate to disappoint, I’m Clarke”. She reached her hand out for the woman to shake.

“Anya”, said the lady and shook her hand in return. “How can I help you?”

“I saw this ad a few streets from here that said you're looking for someone to occupy one of the rooms? I thought I’d swing by to see the place to see it right now if you don’t have a problem with that,” said Clarke, handing over a poster she had folded and kept in her pocket. “I would have called ahead, but I was in the neighbourhood, so just dropped in.” 

“Oh, sure, come on in, I’m sorry, I didn’t know Alexandria already started looking for a flatmate,” Anya responded, taking the poster from her hand and letting Clarke in. 

Clarke looked at her a little confused and Anya was quick to clarify. “Alexandria is the owner of this house, I’m her cousin, she’s at work now, so if you had called, you probably would have reached her. But don’t worry, I’ll show you around and I’ll drop her a text that someone came by to see the place, Clarke is it?”

Clarke nodded and glanced around the living space. It was neat, tidy, almost not lived in except for the books that were stacked below the coffee table. And an attached kitchen that only separated itself from the living room with an island kitchen counter. The place looked too good to be true, especially for the rate it was going at. 

While Clarke looked around, Anya quickly texted her cousin.   
  
Anya: Alexandria, when were you gonna tell me you started looking for a roommate?  
Lexa: Oh, I just printed the posters yesterday, I told you about it a week ago, An!  
Anya: Oh. My bad. Anyway, a girl by the name of Clarke is here to see the place, I’m showing her around.   
Lexa: Alright, give her my number, tell her to call me if she’s interested.   
Anya: If only it were that easy for you, Alex  
Lexa: -_-

Anya smirked at her phone, locked it, pocketed it and then looked at Clarke. She was hesitant to move around so Anya figured she should take the lead. “Come, let me show you around,” as she moved ahead, she showed Clarke the back door that led to the little deck that faced a small pool. Clarke couldn't believe the place also had a pool, how on earth was the price so affordable. Anya then took her upstairs to where a hallway led to three rooms. Two doors were on the left and one on the right. 

“This one’s my room, for whenever I come over. This one’s Alex’s, and this one,” she opened the door to the last one in the hallway, the one on the right “this one can be yours if you like the place,” Anya held the door open so Clarke could step in before her and see for herself. 

Clarke couldn't believe she was looking at such a spacious, brightly lit room, there was so much light getting in from the window. She stepped towards it and saw that it was facing the road so she could see the gate to the house. That meant that the other two rooms probably faced the pool. The place was really too good to be true, she wondered if she read the price right on the poster. 

Anya interrupted her thoughts, “You can take your time to think about it, I’ll be honest with you, we’ve only started looking for a roommate cause this room has been vacant too long and it would be a pity to not make something out of it.” Clarke turned to face Anya at that and asked, “If you don’t mind me asking, how is the owner of the house renting this out at such an unbelievable price?” As much as Clarke saw it as a steal deal, given that she was living off very little, she needed to know this wasn’t something too fishy to believe. 

Anya chuckled, “Oh, Alex really didn’t want to charge at all and I told her she’d be a fool. Her mom left her this place in her inheritance, she passed away a couple of years ago. And when Alex moved in, she didn’t want to be staying alone, so I moved in with her. But now I’ve got a job out of the city so I’m not here most of the time, and Alex just needs some life in here to make her feel a little less guilty about staying in such a huge place.”

A cat mewed and stepped into the room. He caught Anya’s attention immediately. Anya lifted him up in her arms and said, “Meet ‘Aden, I hope you don’t mind cats.”

Clarke smiled, she moved closer to pet him and he didn’t flinch. Anya let her hold him. Clarke spoke again, “I don’t mind them at all, so when do I get to meet the owner? I love the place, I’m sure she’d want to get to know me though. Can you let her know I’m interested?” 

“Sure, I’ll tell her you’ll get in touch” Anya replied, now beginning to head out of the room. 

They began to walk downstairs and Clarke got distracted with her phone buzzing. She let Aden down and looked at her notifications.

Raven: Wanna drink tonight? There’s this cool bar downtown and we have to check it out. 

Clarke: Yea sure! I think we have reason to celebrate too, I just found an incredible place to move into!

Raven: What!

Clarke: Text you later. 

Clarke realised she missed a lot of what Anya was saying, but she caught the last of her monologue “... and she gets home pretty late from work so you’ll mostly have the place to yourself in the evenings, but if you’re having a party, and I’m in town, I’m invited by default”

Clarke chuckled. “Hahaha, I’m not much of a party person, but I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you for showing me around, I’ll contact Alex through the number on the poster then?”

“Yea, I told her you’d get in touch. It was nice meeting you Clarke, hope you’re the one.” Clarke blushed, she had to admit, Anya was charming. She really hoped ‘Alex’ was just as nice. Cause the place already won her over. She said goodbye and then went on her way.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the first chapter didn't have our two leads. But you trusted me and so here we are. Let me know your thoughts!

**Chapter 2:**

Raven and Clarke walked into the bar and were greeted by music blaring through the speakers. The place was not new but Raven had heard enough about it to convince Clarke that they should give it a shot. 

The whole way there, Clarke couldn’t stop raving to Raven about the house she checked out. Raven was upset at first that Clarke was even looking to move out, but she knew her best friend was too stubborn to change her mind. Clarke consoled her by letting her know it wasn’t too far away from her place anyway. 

Raven and Clarke had been best friends since they first met in college. So much had changed in their lives since then, but both of them have always been tight at the hip. Until Raven had to move out of town to work. Fate had good things in store for them, when Clarke got called to work for an art gallery in the same city as Raven. She was ecstatic. 

While Clarke’s mom wasn’t too happy about Clarke moving out, she knew there was no stopping the girl. And having Raven around her, almost made her feel a little better about it. ‘Almost’, well, cause Raven often had trouble written all over her face. But at least they’d have each other close at hand. 

So when Clarke moved in with Raven, little did Raven think Clarke would want to look for another place. But as Clarke explained to Raven, her moving out of her home was supposed to make her feel independent and if she went from one familiar place to another, it didn’t serve the purpose, so she figured she could rent a place. She could afford it now, so why not. Raven’s solace was in the fact that it still meant that she could hang out with her best friend whenever she wanted, given that they’re now in the same town. 

Like tonight. 

While the main reason they were here was to have a good time, let loose, drink a little and then go home, Raven was doing her best to convince Clarke that she should at least try to find some company for the night. 

“Why not, Clarke, come on, it’s been two whole years since Finn and you’ve not let yourself even get to know anyone. Okay forget about getting to know someone, at least find someone to have some fun with, you know, do the deed, make sure you still got it, keep the machine oiled.” Raven winked.

“Ughh, Raven, stop,” Clarke screamed, cause the music was too loud for any of them to talk at a decent volume, “don’t force it, if I’ve not slept with anyone yet, it’s cause I haven’t found anyone I like yet. Can you not push it. I’m way over Finn but I’m not desperate for sex” and at that moment, Clarke’s last five words rang through the next few tables and the bar, as the music dropped before it picked up again. 

She went red and covered her face immediately, Raven laughed harder than she thought she could and when Clarke resurfaced from behind her hands, she caught a glimpse of one of the female bar-tenders looking her way, with a smirk on her face. The girl’s attention was drawn away quickly when a customer approached the bar. But Clarke couldn’t help but look on. She was pretty. She had a sharp jawline, a slender face, almost always a stoic expression except for the usual niceties of a bar-tender tending to her customers. She was a brunette and the way she moved behind the bar seemed like it was her second language. She was quick, swift and somewhat of a show-off if she might add. 

Clarke’s trance was broken by Raven snapping right in front of her face. “Earth to Clarke, where are you, you just missed how I laughed so hard, I almost threw that waiter’s serving tray down”. Clarke just nodded and turned again to see the bar-tender but she was gone. 

“Did you see her?” Clarke gestured to the bar.   
  
“Who?” Raven asked, looking in the direction Clarke pointed.   
  
“The bar-tender, she looked this way when the music dropped and I think she smiled at me.”   
  
“Oh you mean when you told the whole bar that you weren’t desperate for sex? Sure, I’m sure she noticed you,” Raven cracked up. 

“Oh shut up, Rae”, Clare sighed. She lost sight of the girl and was hoping she'd catch a glimpse of her later again, if not get her number. 

Raven may not have gotten Clarke’s drift, but Clarke actually considered meeting someone tonight, only if that ‘someone’ was the brunette behind the bar. 

Clarke was brought out of her reverie when she noticed Bellamy approach Raven from behind her and then cover her eyes. Raven, didn’t skip a beat when she said, Bel, come on, you’ve gotta try something new. He swooped up from behind her and kissed her on the cheek. Bellamy and Raven have been going out for over 6 months now and while Clarke only knew him for a few of those months, she approved of this relationship. And that was important, knowing that no one knew Raven better than her. Bel walked over to Clarke’s side of the table and gave her a hug hello. 

They spoke for a bit, about Clarke’s job at the gallery, about Raven’s recent projects at the tech giant of a company she worked at and Bel about his plans to travel soon. The couple were drinking wine but Clarke opted for water after her first couple of glasses. She might have gotten out to have some fun but she still needed to get to the gallery the next morning. For a brief moment, she almost forgot about the brunette behind the bar. 

Raven pulled both of them to the dance floor. And within no time they were lost among a sea of strangers, high on music and themselves. Raven stayed close to Bellamy while Clarke used the opportunity to look around. At some point, Clarke caught the eye of the girl behind the bar again and this time, she held her gaze. Clarke kept moving to the beat, visibly enjoying the music, but now she smiled at the brunette while dancing. Slowly her smile turned inviting and so did her moves. 

Raven, absolutely oblivious to Clarke’s new interest, realised she left Clarke alone and began to dance behind her, holding on to Clarke’s waist from behind her. Bellamy wasn’t gonna give up this opportunity, he placed himself behind Raven and allowed his hands to move down her body. 

While Clarke was aware of Raven behind her, she absolutely didn’t mind it, cause it gave her more ways to grab the bar-tenders attention. She moved sensually against Raven. Raven kept one hand across Clarke’s waist and the other around Bellamy’s head behind her. Raven’s almost backward bend, gave him enough room to kiss her neck. All the while, Clarke had her own party going on, she moved her own hands in her hair and then down her body, still holding the bartender's gaze. Clarke knew what she was doing and she wasn’t second-guessing it at all. This was a clear invitation, a ‘Hi, I’m glad you’re looking, I hope you like what you see’. And she was confident about the brunette’s stare. It was a good ol, ‘Keep doing what you’re doing and you’re coming home with me.’ Clarke knew she was getting ahead of herself, but Raven was right, it had been too long since she slept with anyone, and the girl behind the bar was a sight for sore eyes. Not to mention, she looked just as interested in Clarke. So Clarke did what she knew best, she moved her hands down her neck and down the centre of her chest, she ground backwards into Raven and pulled Raven’s arm tighter around her. She moved her own hand lower along her hips and then finally brought her finger to her lips and bit down. All the while, staring at the brunette staring at her from behind the counter. 

The song ended and Raven turned to kiss Bellamy. Clarke said ‘be right back’ to no one in particular and walked straight to the bar. 

The girl busied herself again, but as soon as Clarke approached the bar, she turned her attention to her. 

“What can I get you?” The brunette said, looking right into Clarke’s eyes. 

There’s nothing Clarke loved more than someone who could hold her gaze like that. 

“A name would be nice,” Clarke smiled, brushing her hand through her hair as she took a seat at the bar. 

At that moment, Raven found her, “Griffin, don’t just walk away from us like that, Bel and I are heading to his place, you okay getting home yourself?” 

The brunette watched the exchange but continued wiping some glasses. 

“Yea, sure, go ahead, I’m alright” Raven kissed her on the cheek, looked at the brunette once, and then back at Clarke, winked and then caught up with Bellamy. 

Clarke turned back to the bar and saw the girl looking at her intently. “Griffin, I take it that’s not your first name.”

“Well, it’s not, but now that you have a name at all, I’d like one too.”

“Lexa” 

“Is that your first or your last?”

“You said you’d like one, so I gave you one.” She smirked. 

“Hmmm, playing difficult, I see.” Clarke watched as Lexa continued to wipe glasses down, her hands were slender, but they looked like they’ve been doing this for years, her fingers were delicate but they moved so skillfully. 

“How can I help you?” Lexa asked again, this time, she put her hands on the bar and leaned forward a little to look more closely into Clarke’s eyes. 

Clarke bent forward a little, and almost in a whisper, she said, “the help I need, can’t be administered by you from behind that bar.” 

Lexa’s smile grew wider and her eyes dropped to Clarke’s lips and back up to her eyes. She drew her finger up and signalled Clarke closer to her, she bent towards Clarke’s ear and whispered, “I thought I heard you say you weren’t desperate for it.”

Clarke froze, she suddenly remembered what had happened earlier that night. Just before she could say anything though, Lexa kissed her cheek softly and whispered in her ear again “It’s a pity.” 

Clarke looked at her speechless when Lexa regained her posture. Lexa burst out laughing and Clarke was caught off guard. “What are you laughing at?”

Lexa looked up at her again, “Your face,” her eyes moved to Clarke's lips again and then reached out for her hand. She caught hold of it and said, “I get done in 30 mins, and then I'd really like to help you from a little closer, without this bar between us.”, she winked at Clarke and then let go of her hand and moved down the bar to serve another customer. 

Clarke called for a glass of water and then texted Raven. 

Clare: I know you’re at Bellamy’s but I might get laid tonight and I’d feel better if it’s at a place I know, so I’m bringing her to your place. 

She knew she wouldn't be getting a response from Raven considering Bel had all her attention now. But she just felt the need to let Raven know she’d be with someone at home. 

So Raven doesn’t just barge in, in the morning, if all things go well. They did share Raven’s room currently. 

Clarke sneaked a look towards Lexa again, she loved the name, she really liked what she was seeing too. She seemed…. ‘fun’? She wasn’t sure, but she was sure she needed to get laid and that look Lexa gave her, it was enough to tell her, she could let her guard down a bit. 

Lexa caught Clarke staring and Clarke almost choked on her water. Lexa approached her again, “Someone’s eager.”

Clarke caught her breath and apologised for staring, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to stare, but you’re not giving me any reason not to.”

At that, Lexa started untying her waist apron, she folded it and put it under the counter, she told Clarke to give her a moment. In no time, she whispered something to one of her co-bar tenders, grabbed her bag, her helmet and her coat from the back of the bar and came out front, she took Clarke’s hand and said, “Come.” 


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3:**

Clarke downed her glass of water and followed her out the door. Lexa put on her coat, she got onto her bike and signalled the girl named ‘Griffin’ to get on. Clarke watched as Lexa got on, she took a moment to take in the beauty before her. Not wanting to seem like she’s spacing out, Clarke got behind her nervously. Lexa suddenly felt the girl hesitate. She put on her helmet and asked her, “would you feel more comfortable if we went to your place? Or if you’ve changed your mind…” Lexa pondered now, unsure if the blonde over thought something. 

No, no, my place is fine. Slowly, she placed her hands on Lexa’s shoulders and then told Lexa which street she should head to. The bike was a little too loud for them to make conversation, but that wasn’t what was on Clarke’s mind. She took in the scent filling her nostrils, was it something Lexa had on or was her natural scent, she wasn't’ sure, but she smelled so fucking good, Clarke leaned in further. She slipped her hands off Lexa’s shoulders and wrapped them around her waist, now leaning in so her chin was on Lexa’s shoulder and her body pressed up against Lexa’s back. 

What she didn’t see was Lexa smiling to herself. She liked how this night was going, so far.

Clarke wasn’t sure if Raven’s house was really that far from the bar, but she was getting impatient now. She decided to work on impulse and slowly held Lexa tighter. She placed a kiss on the back of Lexa’s neck and Lexa didn’t react. Clarke wasn’t sure if she did something wrong and once again she got nervous, Lexa immediately pulled one of Clarke's arms tighter around her. And that was enough to encourage Clarke and have her smile mischievously. Lexa tilted her head towards the side and said out loud, you keep doing that, and I might have to pull over and kiss you on the side of the road. 

Clake laughed, and the sound of it made the hair on Lexa’s neck rise. It was too dark for Clarke to see it, but when she kissed her neck again, she felt it. 

When they reached Raven’s, Clarke got off the bike and waited for Lexa to get off too. She took off her helmet and stepped into Clarke’s space, she looked into her eyes, held Clarke’s chin, leaned in to kiss her, and suddenly felt a finger stopping her. 

She opened her eyes to see Clarke smirking, Clarke took her hand “Let’s take this inside.” When Clarke opened the door, she let Lexa in first and then closed the door behind her. It was dark except for the night light coming from a lamp in the living room. 

Before Lexa had a chance to take in more of her surroundings, she was pushed towards a wall as she felt soft hands cup her jaw and soft lips crashed into hers. For a moment she lost all sense of where she was or what she was doing until the lips left hers. She opened her eyes and found herself staring into eyes that were now a darker shade of blue, was it the darkness? She couldn’t tell. 

“I’m sorry,” the girl said, “I was waiting to do that all night.”. Lexa didn’t wait a moment longer, she pulled the girl’s lips back to hers and kissed her more passionately this time. Her hands dropped her helmet and went up to hold her waist while the girl’s hands held her face. Lexa bit the girl’s lip and brought out a soft moan from her, it encouraged her more. She moved off the wall and now held the girl to the opposite wall. She moved her kisses down the girl’s neck and felt her hands move into her hair, holding her lips to the spot on her neck she wanted her at. 

Lexa stopped herself and looked into the girl’s eyes again, needing to know that this is in fact what the girl wants. She spoke, “Griffin’, that’s all I know you by, are you sure you want this?” Clarke opened her eyes to a pool of green, for the first time she allowed herself to really look into them so deeply, she nodded, not realising that she still hadn’t given Lexa her first name. “Yes, if you want to hear it that bad since you’ve been teasing me all night, YES Lexa, I’m desperate for sex, now can you kiss me again.” 

Lexa laughed and so did Clarke before they locked lips again. Clarke began taking Lexa’s coat off, and before she knew it, Lexa was back at her neck. Kissing, biting, trying to get the most out of her, testing the waters to see what caused a bigger reaction from her. In one swift movement, Lexa lifted Clarke’s leg and placed it around her hip, she pressed herself harder towards Clarke and Clarke whimpered. “Bedroom,” she breathed, “Down the hall” Lexa grabbed her other leg, lifted her onto herself. Held her around the waist with one hand and had the other holding her ass, as she kissed her neck and Clarke dug her fingers into the brunette’s hair. 

Clarke was grateful Raven was not at home, cause boy was she not gonna hold herself back. After stopping at least twice on the way to the bedroom to keep kissing her against a wall, Lexa finally had ‘Griffin’ on the bed. She crawled on top of her and kissed her again, their tongues fighting for dominance. Until Clarke just Let Lexa take the lead. Lexa began kissing down Clarke’s jaw and her neck, slowly moving down to her collar bone. Clarke kept one hand on Lexa’s shoulder and the other in Lexa’s hair. Lexa bit down on Clarke’s neck and Clarke hissed. Lexa soothed it with her tongue but Clarke asked her not to stop. But Lexa knew better. She grabbed the hem of Clarke’s top and looked up at Clarke. Clarke nodded and Lexa took it off her, getting Clarke to sit up a little. Clarke’s legs were spread and Lexa was in between them, she reached around Clarke and took her bra off. 

The moment she laid eyes on Clarke’s breasts, she was dazed. Clarke giggled, “You like what you see?” Lexa didn’t wait to answer, she swiftly laid Clarke down and took a nipple into her mouth, she lapped at it, sucked it and when she heard the girl moan she bit it lightly, causing her to arch her back. She took the other nipple into her mouth and let her fingers play with the first. Lexa loved boobs. Lexa had never seen a set as voluptuous and tempting as Clarke’s. Lexa felt like she was parched and Clarke’s nipples were water in a scorching hot desert. Heat pooled between Lexa’s legs at the sight of Clarke under her. At the thought of soon getting to bring Clarke to the tallest peak of pleasure. Confident. That was what Lexa was. She wanted to see Clarke writhe under her. She wanted to hear her name fall from Clarke’s lips, those soft, plump, pink lips. Lexa let go of her boobs and came back to kiss Clarke, she bit down on Clarke’s bottom lip and heard Clarke moan. 

Clarke was losing her cool. She tugged at Lexa’s top and pulled it off of the girl, unclasping her bra while she was at it too. She was beautiful, she wanted to look at her more but Lexa was insatiable, she didn’t let go of Clarke’s boobs. Clarke wondered what kept Lexa so glued to them, she wanted to kiss her again. And it was as if Lexa heard her thoughts and came back up to kiss her lips. Clarke felt a sting on her bottom lip, Lexa just bit it and dayum that was hot. Clarke needed more. 

Her hips had a mind of their own, they started bucking towards Lexa, looking for any kind of friction. Lexa noticed and began to kiss lower, the underside of Griffin’s boobs, her ribs, she bit her skin slightly, leaving it with a lick of her tongue. She kissed her abs, her belly. Her hands moved towards the button of her pants and she looked up at the girl only to see her neck. Her head was bent back. “Griffin, may I?” 

Clarke looked down at the darkest green she could see in the dim light of the bedroom. Clarke nodded. Lexa smiled, she unbuttoned Clarke’s jeans, unzipped it, and took them off, leaving Clarke’s underwear on. While she was at it, she stripped off her own clothes, but she took her underwear off, while Clarke lifted herself on her elbows to watch her. Lexa sported the fittest body Clarke had ever seen. She licked her lips at the thought of making love to her. Did she just think ‘making love?’ She second thought that, maybe ‘fucking her’ would be better, this was a one-night stand, wasn’t it? But that made her feel a little uneasy, she decided to park the thought and focus on the beauty in front of her. Clarke moved her gaze down Lexa's body before Lexa crawled back on. 

Once Lexa made sure no clothes were in their way, except for Clarke’s underwear, she got onto the bed and with her hands on Clarke’s knees, she spread Clarke’s legs wide. Clarke bit her lip at the thought of what Lexa might do next. It’d been too long. 

Lexa kissed up Clarke’s inner thigh. She started with Clarke’s right thing and then went down her left, purposely ignoring the place Clarke wanted her the most. “Oh God, Lex, what are you doing”. The nickname slipped from her with no permission whatsoever, but before she could overthink it, she realised she did something right. Lexa kissed the pool of wetness on her underwear, just above her centre. She then hooked her finger on the waistband of her underwear and pulled it to reveal the skin just above her clit and kissed her there. The kiss was so light, so much different from the rough, needy kisses she lay on her thighs, earlier. Clarke almost lost her shit, and right then, Lexa pulled her underwear lower and her lips latched on to her clit. The same soft kiss was placed there too. It was such a stark contrast to the way Clarke was breathing. As if she ran a marathon. But it was all too much, the way Lexa went from fiercely kissing her all around her centre, to then lightly and so softly nibbling at her clit. 

Lexa threaded lightly. Peppering kisses first, with every inch that she pulled Clarkes Underwear down, and then allowing her tongue to test the waters. She licked slowly, first around her clit and then slower, closer to the source of Clarke’s unease. Carefully, she dragged the offending garment off Clarke’s legs and then dragged her finger lightly from her feet, up her calf and finally resting on her inner thigh. She kept looking up towards Clarke, only to see if there was any discomfort or hesitancy. There was none and that gave Lexa some more confidence. Lexa had words at the tip of her tongue, she wanted to tell Clarke how beautiful her body was, she wanted to tell her she didn’t think one night would be enough, not with boobs like those and not with a centre dripping this wildly for her. Lexa dipped her fingers into the wetness before, taking some on the tip of her fingers, making sure Clarke was watching and then she licked her fingers, sighing at the taste. 

Clarke has never felt this before. This tenderness, this kind of pace. This worship. This reverence. Whatever this is. Was she seeing more to this than it really was? What was the brunette doing to her? How did she have her dripping so much, so quickly? Her thoughts were interrupted by a sharp sensation at the pit of her stomach when Lexa licked right through her folds and up to her clit. She rose up on her elbows panting hard. She reached one hand down to hold Lexa’s head in place and that was all Lexa needed to know she was on the right path. 

Then onwards Lexa was on her own trip. She lapped, sucked, kissed at Clarke’s core, she set a rhythm and then broke it, causing Clarke to moan and whimper, she held Clarke’s hip down with one hand and let the other move up to fondle one of her breasts. Clarke couldn’t take it anymore, she was on the edge, “Lexa, I’m going to come,”. Lexa heard her but didn't mean to stop. She slid the hand she had around Clarke’s hip now to her clit and began rubbing it between two of her fingers. With her other hand, she held Clarke’s folds open to give her tongue access to her centre. And with the tip of her tongue, she ruined Clarke’s centre relentlessly.

Clarke shut her eyes and allowed herself to get lost in the sensations her body was experiencing. Lexa’s hands were warm, her tongue was warmer. She knew what she was doing, almost with so much skill. She kept an eye on Clarke and was learning what brought out the best in her. She repeated the things that gave Clarke pleasure, she tried new things while she was at it and took her time. She wasn’t in a hurry to bring Clarke to climax, she was taking her down a long and winding road. Clarke felt like she was dipping in and out of heaven, or it may be hell, cause the heat pooling inside her was ready to make a scene. There was so much of a build-up, a dramatic freeze and then a release so satisfying, she’s sure she made it known in the whole house. And just like that, Clarke came, loud, hard and long, calling Lexa’s name, the sound of it leaving her lips so reverently, she’s sure she sounded like she just received mercy from the highest god there was. 

When she opened her eyes, she was staring at the wall where the headboard of the bed lay against. She realised her head must have moved backwards over her pillow. She could still feel Lexa between her legs, licking, lapping up remnants of her cum, she sat up slowly, still too dazed to move too quickly and watched Lexa. She tugged at the girl's hair, “come here.”

Lexa obeyed, she lifted herself off the foot of the bed and carefully crawled over Clarke, settling her body between the blonde’s legs. 

Clarke hissed when Lexa’s body brushed against her clit. It was too sensitive. Lexa froze, and looked at Clarke with concern, “Are you okay?” 

With her eyes still closed and a smile creeping onto her face, Clare responded, “Are you fucking kidding me? You just gave me the best orgasm of my life and you didn’t even use your fingers, and you’re asking me if I’m okay?” Clarke finally opened her eyes to see a smug look on Lexa’s face, her eyes were beautiful, they shone differently now, almost adoringly. Clarke shook that thought from her head when her attention was drawn to Lexa’s lips, still wet with Clarke’s juices. Clarke took hold of Lexa’s chin and brought her lips to hers. She kissed her slowly first and then with more purpose. She tasted herself on Lexa’s lips and if that didn’t turn her on even more…

Lexa kissed back, she had her fill and would love to have some more, but she needed to look into those eyes again, she wanted those lips in between hers again. Clarke was more than Lexa bargained for. She thought she’s fuck her into oblivion once, maybe twice, get a good fuck back and then leave. But suddenly, she felt like she wanted to do this again another night and this one wasn’t even over yet. Was she getting ahead of herself? She was, she hadn’t even come yet. But here she was, wanting to pleasure Clarke again, wanting to orchestrate the way Clarke’s body moved beneath her. Wanting to hear Clarke say her name again. 

Lexa’s lips found refuge between Clarke’s, she licked Clarke’s bottom lip and sought entrance. Their tongues met and Lexa took charge again. Her hands took on a life of their own. They brushed against Clarke’s nipples but realising she might still be a little too sensitive, settled with squeezing around them Clarke moaned into the kiss. Lexa left her lips and began kissing her neck again. She placed her right thigh between Clarkes’s legs and straddled Clarke’s right. 

“Hmmm,” Clarke could feel how wet Lexa was on her thigh, she pressed it harder against Lexa and heard Lexa’s breath catch near her ear.

“I’m not done with you yet, Griffin,” Lexa said. And with that, she slid her fingers down to Clarke’s folds. Purposely avoiding her clit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll give you one more today. But please, tell me what you think? I really don't wanna go amiss with my first fiction here.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4:**

Clarke's eyes shot open and suddenly she was feeling too much all over again. Lexa bit her earlobe. Her tongue danced around it. She kissed below her ear and caused goosebumps in its wake. 

“Oh Fuck, Lex” Clarke managed to say. It caused Lexa to smirk between kisses. Boy was she proud of her work. 

Lexa moved her fingers slowly around Clarke's entrance and then paused. She whispered in her ear, “What can I do for you, Griffin” 

“Oh God, when you say it like that...” she took a sharp breath in and out, she reached her own hand down and guided Lexa’s finger to move into her. She let go of her hand when she realised Lexa got her drift, Lexa lifted her head out of the crook of Clarke’s neck to look into her eyes. Clarke's eyes were shut. 

Lexa whispered, “Look at me, babe.” Clarke opened her eyes with all the will power she had. She was on the edge. This moment right here was too intimate for just a one-time fuck. Why did Lexa want her to look at her? Do one night stands give each other names of endearment? Boy, she loved the way the brunette spoke to her, it was...tender. 

Clarke looked into Lexa’s eyes, and slowly, Lexa inserted a finger into Clarke’s entrance. Clarke gasped, she dropped her jaw. Her nails dug into Lexa’s shoulders. “Oh God, Lexa” Lexa started her thrusts slowly and kept her eyes glued to Clarkes. Clarke didn’t know what she was looking for in them. But Clarke was now in a world of her own, almost losing sight of everything in front of her, all she could see was a green so intense. Clarke no longer had control over the words leaving her lips. Looking deep into Lexa’s eyes, willing them to stay open, “Faster” she said and Lexa obeyed. Lexa chased her own satisfaction, without even realising it, grinding against Clarke’s thigh at her own pace while she thrust deep into Clarke. 

Lexa bent down to kiss her jaw and started to move quicker, now with two fingers. Clarke whimpered and shut her eyes again when Lexa bit her pulse point. But opened them as soon as it hit her. 

Lexa looked into her eyes again, when she felt Clarke closing tighter around her fingers.

Clarke came, “That’s it, oh God, fuck, fuck, Lex, Holy fuck”. Her eyes closed and she arched her back and shuddered. This time her orgasm lasted longer, thanks to Lexa’s talented fingers easing her down from her high. Holding her through it.

Clarke passed out as soon as she came down from her high. The last thing she remembered was Lexa peppering kisses along her face, her eyes, her temple, the bridge of her nose, her neck. And then she was gone. 

Lexa looked at Clarke, she knew she might have passed out. She held onto her for a bit, caught her own breath while she kissed Clarke’s face and her neck, and then got off the bed. 

She found the bathroom, wet a washcloth with warm water and wiped Clarke down. She then cleaned herself up and got back into bed, pulling the cover over both of them. 

It was 4 am when Lexa woke with the girl stirring next to her. “Hey, hey, Griffin, you alright?” 

Clarke looked at Lexa with sleep swollen eyes and her mind went back to the last few hours. She gasped when she realised she passed out. “I’m so sorry, oh my god, I’m so sorry I must have passed out” 

Lexa held her, “Hey don’t worry about it, are you fine though, I didn’t mean to come on that strong, I might have gotten carried away. You’re just so..” she pushed a strand of blonde behind the girl's ears and looked into her eyes again. She couldn’t finish her sentence. The girl was looking at her with so much want. 

Clarke couldn’t believe her ears. She just had the best fuck of her life and the girl was still in bed with her, worried that she may have overstepped. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Clarke said. She lifted the covers a bit and straddled Lexa in one swift move. Lexa chuckled. 

She kept her hands on Clarkes’s waist but her eyes moved from Clarke's legs spread over her, to her breasts and then her neck and finally those lips and those eyes. She’s slept with many girls before this. Yet, she couldn't put a finger on why this one made her the most excited. 

“I’m not letting you go without saying thank you,” Clarke said, as she bent down and took one of Lexa’s nipples in her mouth. Lexa gasped and when she could finally form words, “Weren’t you just asleep”.

Clarke looked at her, smirked, “Power nap” and shrugged. “Now do you want the Griffin experience or not?”

Lexa didn’t get a chance to say anything, she just began to nod as Clarke crashed her lips into hers. “How are you so good with that tongue?” Clarke said between kisses. 

Lexa didn’t bother to answer. She kissed her back, fiercely. 

Lexa came twice that night, once clutching the headboard with Clarke’s face under her and once with Clarke’s talented fingers pressing against the front wall of her core, and then she left. 

***

It was 7 AM when Lexa left Raven’s place, with the blonde still in bed. She woke up at 6 after having the best sex she’s had in a while. She didn’t want to leave the girl, especially after waking up to the position they were in. Griffin was snuggled up into her, her face buried into the crook of her neck. It was too intimate for her to leave like that. But she had to, she had a meeting at 9 AM, before which she needed to get home and shower. “Who has meetings at 9 AM,” she cursed in her head. She left the girl a note on the nightstand:

“Griffin,   
Needed to leave for a meeting. Would have made your breakfast. Sending some over anyway. Thanks for last night and this morning’s ‘Griffin Experience’. I don’t want to burden you with a number, but if you feel like it, you know where to find me. Also, I’d like to know your first name- Lexa 

She ordered and paid for a breakfast tray and had it delivered to her place. She never usually got her one-night-stands breakfast. But something told her this was not just that. As she rode back home, she thought about the note. She did leave the ball in her court, but she left it there with some sort of hope, she really wanted to see Griffin again. And maybe this time, learn her first name. She wondered if sending breakfast over was too much. Why was she hoping for more from this night? It couldn’t just be the sex, could it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for today guys. Hope you stay with me through this one! I'll probably post the next update a few days from today. Not too far off. Leave a comment :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another update guys! I was today years old when I realised there's a subscribe button on AO3.   
> Anyway, I'm so glad about the number of hits this has got and the kudos too! If you haven't hit kudos yet and you're liking where this is going, please do, so I know this is not trash. Also, leave a comment if you have any questions or if you want something in particular to happen between the two!

**Chapter 5:**

She couldn't get her mind off why she needed to look into her eyes when she brought the girl to orgasm. Initially, she just wanted to make sure the girl was not in any pain or discomfort, but soon, it became something else, she got lost in the view and the sounds of the blonde beneath her. It’s like they left this world and found each other in another. Lexa shook the thought away and decided to let fate do its thing. 

She got home and found Anya, her cousin, asleep in her own room with Aden, her cat. She went to her room and quickly took a shower. When she came back to the living room, she found Anya making breakfast. 

“Where were you, Alexandria? Found yet another girl to spend the night with?” 

Lexa rolled her eyes. “It’s Lexa for the hundredth time, I don't know why you can’t just say it like everyone else. Also, yes, I did meet a girl. But… nothing,” she stopped herself.

Anya found that strange. As much as she wanted to argue with ger cousin on why she couldn't stop calling her Alexandria, she caught on to the other subject. “But?”

Lexa was open with Anya, more open than with anyone else, so she did not mind giving her a little more details. “But she’s not just another girl. I mean, I don't know, she could be, but something felt different. I don’t know if I was just another girl to her, I mean I hope not, or do I? I don’t know An, I sent her breakfast.”

“You what?”

“Oh God, I shouldn't have, should I? I think I overdid it, I don’t know what got into me.”

“No no, that’s alright this is good. Did you get her number?”

“No”

“Alexandria Woods, have I taught you nothing!” 

Lexa was not gonna mention she didn't even get her name. “Okay, relax, I left her a note. I told her if she wanted to talk to me she could find me at the bar. So relax, I gave her an out. And I gave her an in. Let’s see what happens. Now let it go, I have a meeting to get to.”

Lexa quickly grabbed her to-go coffee mug from the table and headed out for her meeting. 

***

Clarke woke up alone in bed. She didn’t know why it made her feel sick, but it did. She was hoping she’d get to see Lexa in the morning before she left. Guess it was just that - a good fuck. Clarke lifted herself off the bed and placed her feet on the floor. Her eyes caught sight of a note on the bedside table and her heart fluttered. It fucking fluttered, what was that? She smiled when she read it. And just then her doorbell rang. Raven called out saying she’ll get it. Clarke realised she’d have some explaining to do. She decided to go shower first. 

She noticed two washcloths in her otherwise empty bin below the sink. It was usually the bin near the toilet that was mostly used. That’s when it dawned on her, did Lexa clean her up when she passed out? She couldn’t believe it, but there was no other reason there'd be two used cloths thrown in there. She turned the shower on and got lost in her thoughts. 

Why did last night feel like so different? She was so stupid to pass out like that, especially when Lexa was already halfway there, grinding on her thigh, this was so embarrassing. She wondered if Lexa got off after she passed out. The thought of Lexa pleasuring herself did something to Clarke. She was glad she woke up to Lexa still in bed before she really left though. At least she was able to return the favour. “The Griffin Experience!” what was that Clarke? she thought to herself. 

She thought about Lexa some more, the way she held her, the way her tongue did things to her, wild things. Clarke found her fingers circling her clit. She couldn't get on with her day without taking care of this first. She closed her eyes under the shower and pictured Lexa with her here. She imagined Lexa on her knees eating her out, moving her tongue between her folds. Clarke leaned back on the bathroom walls and vigorously moved her fingers around her clit. She thought about how wet Lexa made her and how gloriously her tongue lapped at her folds. Clarke’s jaw dropped as she felt herself nearing the edge. The thought of green looking into her eyes while fingers thrust into her threw Clarke off the edge and she panted as she came. “Fuck, what was that?” The night was still too fresh in her mind. She needed to come back to reality if she was gonna get anything done today. She came down from her high and began to bathe thoroughly. 

Lexa was too nice to her, she even sent her breakfast. What Clarke was really pondering though is whether this needed to be more, should she go back to the bar to meet her again, should they talk? or just move on from this like any other one-night-stand? Clarke decided to think about it later. She stepped out of the shower, wrapped a towel around herself and began to brush. She looked at herself in the mirror and spotted marks on her neck and her chest. She unwrapped her towel and noticed them on her breast and under them too. God, Lexa was insatiable, she smiled to herself.

Clarke got out and quickly changed into some clothes. She picked up the bedsheets and put them into the hamper. Raven and she shared this bed and it was in no state for Raven to see right now. 

“Clarke, mind explaining to me why your one-night-stand sent your breakfast?” Raven called from the kitchen. 

Clarke realised she couldn’t escape this, so she just went with whatever came to her mind. 

“Ahhmmm” she walked into the kitchen, “she wanted to say thanks?” Clarke said sheepishly. 

“Oh come on, I’m sure she said thanks in kind last night itself. Really, what is this, what did you do differently this time around?”

“Nothing I swear, she left me a note, too. And I didn't do anything different. Maybe SHE's different?” Clarke shrugged.

Raven stood there, baffled by what Clarke was saying. “Clarke, are you going to see her again?”

“I don’t know Rae, let’s save the difficult questions for later, can we? She was nice, she was really good in bed and she was….kind.” Clarke said the last word thinking back about how she passed out on her and yet Lexa had the decency to clean them both up before going to bed. Like she had accepted that she wasn’t getting any that night. 

Raven looked at Clarke suspiciously and then went on to say, “well, you look smitten, kitten. So if you’re gonna meet her again, please make sure she knows your name this time. The delivery boy asked for Griffin and it made me wonder why everyone’s calling you what I call you.”

Clarke rolled her eyes. She did in fact, not give Lexa her name, not purposely, of course, she was just playing with her. She owed her a name, for sure. 

"Anyway, the night’s behind us,'" Clarke said, "I'm planning on meeting the owner of the house I saw yesterday. I'll text her today and see if she'd like to meet, to settle the agreement." 

Raven pouted. 

"Come on babe, you know I wanna give you your space and I'll only be a few streets away from you. The distance will be good for our relationship," Clarke teased.

Raven pouted further.

"Come here. Let me give you a hug and make it better." Raven loved these antics. She crashed into Clarke's arms and threw her down. 

Clarke managed to get Raven out of her hair, literally, after some time and finally got to her gallery. 

***

Later that day Clarke texted the number from the poster.   
"Hi, I'm Clarke. I came to see the house the other day. I'm interested in taking up the third room. Would you like to meet? To settle up the agreement maybe? if you’d like me as your flatmate?"

She got a text back almost immediately. 

"Hi Clarke, you can drop in anytime between 2-6 pm today, I'm off to work after that."

Clarke texted back "I'll be there by 5 pm"

Clarke spent the rest of her day finishing up some work at the gallery. Most days it was paperwork and enlisting new artists to the gallery. But some days it was more relaxed and it allowed her time to paint in the back room. 

Today was one of those days. She set up her easel and began to paint. She didn't know what she was going to paint but decided to just go with her instincts. It was no surprise that her thoughts drifted to the night before. Was she imagining it? Or did Lexa really worship her body last night? It didn't feel like just another one-night stand. This felt like more. But was Clarke seeing more than it was or was it really more than she saw at the moment? Clarke was contemplating seeing Lexa again at the bar. Maybe she could drop in tonight. What would she say though? Thanks for breakfast? 

Clarke didn't notice how quickly time passed while she got lost in thought. First the overthinking and then the memory of Lexa from last night. Her eyes, the way she touched her like she was made of glass and then like she was clay in her hands. Clarke was brought out of her reverie when her phone buzzed. She was glad, or else she wouldn’t know how far her fingers would go again. Her calendar reminded her she had 15 mins until she met Alex, the owner of the house.

She grabbed her things and called a cab. She didn’t wanna lose the opportunity of getting this place. She thought back to Anya and how nice she seemed, she only hoped the other girl Alex was just as nice to share a common space with. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6:**

Knock Knock Knock 

Clarke stood at the door waiting for someone to answer. She was hoping to close the deal and maybe get to move in by the end of the week. She crossed her fingers and hoped things would go well.

The door opened and Clarke was greeted by a familiar face. “Hi Anya”

“Oh, hi Clarke, come on in, Alex told me it would be you.”

Anya let Clarke in and asked her to take a seat, she offered to get her something to drink - a coffee or maybe water, Clarke opted for the latter. Anya said she’d be a moment. 

Clarke took another chance to take the place in, she looked around briefly before she heard footsteps coming down the stairs. “An, is she here?”

“That voice”, Clarke thought, and then just before she could place it, a face came before her. 

Her eyes widened. 

So did Lexa’s.

“Lexa?”

“Griffin?”

“What are you doing here?” Clarke asked, still a little bewildered. 

“Ahhhmmm, you're Clarke? You came over the other day to see the house?” Lexa asked. 

“Well, yea, but I’m here to see an ‘Alex’. How do you know Anya and Alex?”

Lexa lifted her palm to her face and slowly slid it down realising where the mix up happened. She was about to say something, when Anya stepped into their presence, having already heard the conversation.

“I see you two have met before. Alexandria, you never mentioned a ‘Clarke’,” Anya said to Lexa while she handed Clarke a glass of water before signalling her to have a seat.

“Ugh, An, I’ll explain later. Griffin, please sit. I think I need to make this a little less confusing for you first.” Lexa knew she had a lot of explaining to do, but she needed to make things clearer for the girl she slept with first. Anya would understand later. 

Clarke sat, still very confused. Internally, she was somewhat glad to see Lexa again, and in a very different environment. She wasn’t confident and charming like the night before, but here she was stuttering, and trying to fix a situation she probably thinks is unsalvageable.

So Clarke sat, and waited for Lexa to continue, but first...

“Clarke, that’s my name, you can call me Clarke,” Clarke said. 

“Clarke”, Lexa repeated, trying to say it the way Clarke said it. 

But Clarke liked the way Lexa said it, the K was different. It was...new. It had a certain click to it. 

Clarke nodded, smiling. Lexa smiled back and for a moment forgot she had to continue to speak until Anya interrupted their moment.

“Ahem,” she took a sip from her mug of coffee

“Oh yea, sorry, Griffin, wait, Clarke… my bad. My name on paper is Alexandria. But only Anya, my cousin, still calls me that. I go by the name Lexa to everyone else. Clearly, Anya mentioned me to you as 'Alex', which is what she calls me sometimes. I’m sorry about the confusion.”

Clarke was about to speak when Anya went next.

“Hold on, so you two have met but you didn't know her name was Clarke?” Anya asked Lexa. 

Lexa realised how stupid that looks and honestly, didn't know how to answer that at the moment. Clarke noticed Lexa visibly speechless so she butt in “Ahm, I’ll take that one, I met her just once, and she overheard my surname from my friend who was with me, I didn't bother giving her my full name. Little did I know we’d run into each other again.”

Lexa didn’t want to admit it, but she over-thought Clarke’s words. Did Clarke not give her her name cause she knew she didn't wanna see her again? When did Clarke make that decision, before the night started or after it all happened? 

Clarke noticed Lexa fidget. And immediately realised what she may have sounded like. “I mean, not that I didn't want her to know my name, I was hoping to run into her again.” Clarke smiled. Was she nervous? Why was she second-guessing her words?

Anya looked between the two of them again. “Oooohhh kay, whatever it is that you two are not telling me, I’ll figure it out anyway. For now, should we talk about the room?”

Lexa was grateful Clarke didn't mention when she met her. If Anya got to know it was last night, she would have connected the dots that this was the girl that had Lexa so smitten. And then she’d tease her for the rest of her life for not having got her first name or number. 

“Alex?” Anya brought her out of her thoughts, “are you alright? Am I missing something?”

“No no, yea, let’s talk about the room. Clarke, Anya told me you liked the place, the only reason we wanted to meet you today was so that I could meet you in person before we seal the deal, but I guess you and I are already acquainted.”

‘A little more than acquainted’, Clarke thought to herself but decided not to put Lexa in a difficult position in front of her cousin. “Yea, we are,” she said to Lexa. “What else would you like to know about me? I work at a gallery, I don't usually have late nights at work, and I'll be moving out of my friend’s place if you guys agree to let me have the room upstairs.”

Lexa was relieved to know that Clarke still wanted to move in. She wasn’t so sure if the girl still wanted to be in touch, let alone move into the same place. She did, of course, leave the ball in Clarke’s court. 

“Yes, yes of course” Lexa responded. 

“Okay, now that you two are done tip-toeing around the niceties, let’s get down to business”. 

Lexa sighed. Anya was always the one to make sure the formalities were taken care of. 

“So you can move in anytime this week, you can pay the rent quarterly or monthly, your choice. Do you have a pet?” Anya asked.

“No, not currently,” Clare replied.

“Well, we’re both pet friendly, so if you do decide on getting one, we won’t object. You’ve met Aden, he’s friendly too.” Clarke smiled, she liked Anya from day one and nothing changed her mind. 

“You can have friends over anytime, remember what I told you about parties?” 

Clarke nodded, she knew she had to invite Anya. She wondered if she could invite Lexa too if she ever did have friends over. Anya went over some more details and finally got up to take her coat and bag. 

“I’ll leave you to it, I need to head over to a friend’s place. But one last thing. Do you have a boyfriend?”

The question caught Clarke off guard, but it caught Lexa by surprise too. 

Lexa realised she didn’t really ask Clarke this last night, she just took the signals that came her way and went with it. What if Clarke did have a partner. “Or a girlfriend?” Lexa added onto Anya’s question. 

Clarke blinked once, a little confused that Lexa asked but also realising that neither of them did make it clear on whether they were single or not. 

“Uh, both”

Lexa’s eyes widened and her jaw almost hit the floor, she suddenly flashed back to Clarke on the dancefloor, a girl and a guy grinding behind her. Was Clarke in a three-way relationship?

“Dayum, girl, aren’t you a riot?!” came Anya’s quick response and teasing smile. 

“No no, sorry, I meant I’m bisexual, so I could have a boyfriend or a girlfriend, but I don't,” she looked at Lexa now, “I’m not seeing anyone, currently,” she assured. 

Anya looked between them again, she continued “Well, that’s a pity. Either way, if you do bring your partner slash partners home, just keep things in your room. I know it’s a given, but I have to put it out there for more than just you.” Anya said the last part more pointedly at Lexa. 

Lexa glared at her. Clarke was internally having a ball at the scene before her. 

Lexa walked Anya to the door when Anya whispered. “You’ve got some explaining to do Alexandria. I’m guessing she’s the one you slept with last night, and if that’s true, you better not fuck this up. She’s nice, I like her.”

“Go, I’ll talk to you later, An.”

And with that, Lexa shut the door on Anya, trying to save her face as little as she could after everything Anya revealed about her to Clarke. Which wasn’t as much, but it was more than what Lexa needed Clarke to know, for now. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7:**

When Lexa came back to the living space, she looked at Clarke who was now looking at her with mischief in her eyes. “Hi... Clarke”, she said and placed her hands in her back pockets. Not knowing how she should behave around the girl whose face she rode last night. 

“Hi, Lexa” Clarke replied, still seated on the couch. 

“Listen, I'd totally get it if you don’t wanna move in anymore. You don’t have to stick to your decision now that you know I stay here. You have an out, we’d be okay with that, we can find someone else.”

Clarke smiled wider. “No, why would I not want to stay here. I was going to come to see you tonight, Lexa.”

Lexa wasn’t expecting that, she breathed out. She didn't even realise she was holding her breath. “Okay, good. That’s great.” She sat down on the couch too. Not too close to Clarke. She didn’t want to come across like she was insinuating something. 

Before she could speak again. Clarke continued. “Thank you, for breakfast and this morning, and last night. Ahmmm, it was..” Clarke didn't know why she brought it up, but now that she did, she knew she had to finish her sentence. “...nice” 

Lexa relaxed a little more, “Yea, it was... nice” She paused and then continued, “Uh, I just wanna get it out of the way, we don’t need to jump to where we left off, I mean, we don’t need to go there at all, we can be friends, or just flatmates, whatever you like.” 

Clarke laughed, “Are you always this nervous around girls you sleep with once?” 

Lexa mulled over that question. She wasn’t. She’s never been nervous around anyone. She’s managed to keep an air of confidence and charm around anyone she’s wooed. “I don’t really know, I've never had to meet them the very next day and then agree to having them move in,” she chuckled.

That's when it dawned on Clarke “Oh shit, sorry, I just realised, you didn't have an out when Anya was here. I’m sorry, if you’re not comfortable with me moving in, please be honest, I don't mean to impose. I mean, I know I’d be paying, but you have the last word, I’d understand.”

Lexa realised what she said was taken another way. She stopped Clarke's rambling with her own, “No, no, that’s not what I meant. I’d love for you to room with us. I’d like to get to know you better. I was looking forward to seeing you this evening. I just wasn’t sure if you’d come.”

Clarke saw the opportunity and took it, now feeling a little more at ease, “well you weren’t so uncertain about me coming last night.” She winked. 

“And there she is again”, Lexa thought. The flirt that Clarke was, the same girl she met, kissed and devoured last night. 

Lexa looked into her eyes again, this time there was no rush or any movement, just a blue-eyed beauty staring back at her. Until her phone rang and pulled her out of thought. She answered “Yea? yea yea, I’ll pick it up on my way there, sure. Cool, see you.” 

Lexa cut the call and then apologized to Clarke, “Sorry, that was the bar, I need to be there in a bit.” Lexa needed to get ready to head out. She was upset she had to put an end to their conversation, almost forgetting that Clarke was gonna be moving in. 

“No, that’s fine,” Clarke said, "I should be going too. Now that I met you here, I won't need to drop by the bar again, to give you my first name.” She smiled. 

It warmed Lexa all over, to know that Clarke had already planned to meet her today, even if it was just to tell her her name. 

“So when can I bring my stuff over?” she asked as she picked up her coat and her bag to leave. Lexa walked her to the door. 

“Anytime this week, preferably around noon, I'm needed at the bar most evenings. Those guys still haven’t got a hang of running things without me.” 

Clarke looked at her, hoping she'd continue. 

“Oh, I forgot to mention, Anya and I own the bar, but I also manage it on most days, since Anya is out of town.” 

This took Clarke by surprise. She saw the brunette waiting on customers yesterday, no one would say the girl owned the place. 

“Wow, you had me fooled,” Clarke said as she stepped out of the door and onto the porch. 

Lexa stood by the door and smiled. A little more confident now than earlier. 

“Well, if it helps you bring women home, you’re damn good at it,” Clarke joked. 

Lexa didn’t know what to make of that, but since Clarke laughed, she laughed too. She wondered if she and Clarke would be seeing other people while they both roomed in the same house. Clarke clearly dodged her question earlier when Lexa was trying to make things clear between them. Guess she’ll just have to wait and see, she thought. Or maybe have that conversation when Clarke really does move in. 

“Goodnight, Lexa, can’t wait to move in,” Clarke put her hand out. 

“Goodnight Clarke” Lexa shook her hand firmly but took the opportunity then to swipe her thumb on the back of Clarke’s hand for a moment. 

It didn't get past Clarke, she definitely noticed. She leaned in and placed a kiss on Lexa’s cheek, before turning around and walking away. It was a few seconds before she heard the door close behind her. 

That’s when Clarke noticed the bike near the garage. How did she not see it before? She wondered if she would have even placed Lexa if she did see the bike before entering the house. So many people could have had this bike. What was her luck? Smiling, she made her way home that evening. She couldn’t wait to tell Raven the events of the day. But more than anything, she thought about Lexa’s question. 

She didn't have an answer yet. Was there a roommate's code? Should she not pursue this? Was there something to pursue if they were already living in the same apartment? Were they a ‘they’? She decided to leave those questions for another day, currently too thrilled to be moving in with the girl that rocked her world. Wow, what did she get herself into? 

***

The week flew by quickly. Lexa got pulled into a bunch of meetings during the day with some brands wanting to run promotions at her bar, Lexa was glad Anya was here for this week she hoped Clarke liked her. Anya did mean a lot to Lexa, and it would be difficult to own that soft spot for Clarke if the two of them didn’t get along. So far, they seemed alright. 

Lexa didn’t know how much she should text Clarke given that she didn't really earn her number or ask for it. She got it out of chance, so she kept things professional. She told Clarke she could move in on Friday and that was another two days from the current one. 

Clarke narrated everything to Raven and Raven took it all in with a bowl of popcorn. It was beyond her how Clarke could have the most dramatic stories to tell. What Raven asked though was something Clarke has been asking herself all the while. “So are you two gonna leave whatever it was that ya’ll did that night to that night itself, or are you hoping to go at it again, or maybe even consider dating her?”

Clarke knew that if given the chance, she would definitely want a repeat of that night. God, she’d want it at her disposal. But Clarke thought about it some more, Lexa worked at a bar, and she was hot, she possibly brought girls home all the time, did Lexa want Clarke the way Clarke wanted her?

“I don’t know Rae, maybe I'll get to know her better first. If the opportunity presents itself and we’re kissing again, I won't stop it, you have my word. But if I’m just another girl she slept with and she’s bringing other women home every night, I guess I’ll just have to deal with it. I’ll step out of her way. She did say she wanted to see me again though, I don’t know if that was limited to the day after.”

“Oh please, I hope you don't have to deal with it, that will be another two years of a wasted youth” Raven countered.   
  
Clarke glared at her for that. They continued packing Clarke’s stuff. She had books, so many of them, she had keepsakes, things from Raven and her friends back home. She wasn’t a hoarder, but there were some things she just couldn’t let go off. Like the thought of Lexa. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some more chapters coming up! Thank you for all the Kudos and Comments! :) Love you guys <3

**Chapter 8:**

Friday came around sooner than expected. Raven pulled over in front of Lexa’s place. Clarkes stuff was in the back seat and at the back of the car. She didn’t own much, seven boxes to be precise. 

Lexa and Anya stepped out to help Clarke get her things. Lexa was grateful Anya was still here this week. She hoped things would be a lot less awkward with Anya around to make conversation. Raven opened her door and got out. One look at Lexa and she remembered the girl from the bar. She looked back at Clarke and said, “You better make a move or I’ll be making one for you.” 

“Don’t you dare,” Clarke countered as Lexa and Anya came towards them.

“Hi, I'm Raven,” Raven stretched out her hand to Lexa and then Anya.

“Hey, I’m Lexa and this is my cousin, Anya.” 

Anya shook Raven’s hand and held on for a little longer, “Well, they get prettier by the minute.”

Raven blushed, she turned to Clarke, “I like this one.” They laughed and then each picked out a box to take inside. Clarke took a moment to look at Lexa before she could say hi. Lexa was dressed in a sweatshirt, and slacks and she had her hair up like she did the first two times she met her, it was nothing different, but it was an all-new special. Lexa smiled at Clarke when Clarke's eyes finally reached hers. “Hi,” Lexa said. 

“Hi,” Clarke responded with a smile. 

As they began to walk towards the door, Raven stopped in her tracks when she noticed Lexa’s bike. 

“OMFG, is that really what I think it is?” Lexa gleamed. So Raven knew a good bike when she saw one, she thought. “I’ll be right back,” Lexa said to Anya and Clarke as they got into the house. She went over to Raven to talk about the bike and exchange notes. 

Clarke was praying to all the Gods above her that Raven doesn’t say anything out of line. 

Meanwhile, Clarke took the opportunity to dig a little further through Anya. “Anya, you told me the other day that I could bring partners over, I'm just curious, do you and Lexa have partners over often?” The question sounded odd even to Clarke, she immediately regretted the words leaving her mouth. 

Anya looked at her weirdly first and then caught her drift. She put the box she was holding down and walked over to Clarke, taking Clarke’s box from her to put down too. “If I’m sure about what you’re really asking, yes, Lexa does bring partners over, not when I’m here though, she’s a little shy about that. As for me, not as often as Lexa, but when I do, you’d need ear-plugs.” Anya winked at Clarke and headed out to get the next box. Clarke got her answer, Lexa was a player, just looking for a good time, Clarke felt like shit, wondering if she'd have to see a new girl getting off Lexa’s bike all the time, her window did face the road after all. Or worse, would she have to hear them? She shook the thought away. 

Meanwhile, Lexa was quite enjoying her conversation with Raven. Raven knew a lot about bikes and said she was looking to buy one soon. Lexa offered her her own bike to try if she'd like to and Raven said she’d take her up on that offer. They were about to pick up the boxes they left by their feet and head inside when Lexa spoke, “Raven, I know you’re Clarke’s best friend, and I know you’re probably protective about her. I just wanted to know if you could tell me if she’s looking for something serious?”. Raven was caught off guard with the question, she too did not know if Clarke was looking for something serious. Was Lexa asking cause she wanted something serious with Clarke or cause she didn’t want something serious? Raven’s confusion showed on her face. 

“Don’t get me wrong, I just met Clarke and I don't want to hurt her already,” Lexa continued. Raven still couldn't understand what were Lexa’s intentions. She stepped into Lexa’s space, “Look here biker girl, I don't know what your intentions are with my girl, but you better keep it clean, you hear me?” 

It wasn’t a threat, Lexa could see that, but it was definitely a warning. Lexa was just looking for a sign, did Clarke want to keep things going between them or was she one and done with her. Lexa figured Raven wasn’t the best place to get that answer from. Or maybe she didn't ask the right question. But she figured she needed to steer the conversation now, anyway. 

“Got it.” She smiled. 

Raven smiled back. “Come now, biker girl, Clarke is probably wondering where her eye candy is.” 

Lexa hoped Raven meant her and not Raven herself. She sighed, picked up her box and walked up behind Raven. 

When they entered the house, Lexa noticed Anya and Clarke had just finished speaking. She wondered what it was about but decided to ask Anya later. For now, she was just happy to see Clarke. Clarke was '...beautiful'. Lexa has never looked at any of her one-night stands this way. Of course, she thought they were beautiful. But Clarke was beautiful plus the ellipsis before the powerful word, basically beautiful wasn't enough to describe her. She took Lexa’s breath away. 

It’s no wonder then, that when Clarke spoke to her directly, she had to take a sharp breath in. “I’m heading upstairs, you guys don’t need to worry, I’ll have all the boxes taken upstairs myself by this evening.” Lexa noticed something was off. Clarke sounded almost… defeated. 

“Hey no, I don't have to get into work until much later today, I can help,” Lexa offered. 

“Oh no, you don’t have to.”

“I insist, please, let me help.”

Clarke couldn’t turn her down, not in any way that's justifiable in front of Anya and Raven, anyway. 

“Okay, thank you,” She accepted. 

Raven apologised for not being able to wait longer but promised Clarke she would come by the next day to help set up her room. 

Anya said she’d get lunch started and even asked Raven to stay for it. Raven politely declined but said she’d stay for it tomorrow. Clarke knew Raven not to be one to turn down a lunch, she figured something was up, she thought she’d ask her later. 

And with that, Lexa and Clarke picked up the boxes one by one and took them to Clarke’s room. 

Clarke couldn't help but notice how absolutely fit Lexa was. Her arms flexed when she lifted the boxes and she didn't even break a sweat. Clarke on the other hand was a panting mess. She tried to fight her thoughts about Lexa but then she figured there was no harm thinking about her, she could give herself that at least. 

She was brought out of her train of thought when Lexa huffed a strong breath out, having placed the last box down into Clarke’s room. “That’s about it,” Lexa said.

Clarke turned to face her but avoided direct eye contact. Lexa found that weird, realising Clarke didn’t look at her the same way since she entered the house. “Clarke, is everything okay?” 

Clarke looked up at her now, this time directly, “Yea, yea I’m fine, are you alright?”

“Never better,” Lexa smiled. Not knowing where to take this conversation, Lexa continued. “If you need anything, I’ll be downstairs. Just holler. Also, my room’s the first one you see when you get out, don’t ever hesitate to knock if it’s shut and you need something.”

Lexa wanted Clarke to feel like home. She didn't want the awkwardness they both carried from their little escape the other night. She wanted to get to know Clarke, just as much as she wanted to drown into her eyes, and just as much as she wanted to kiss her again. So she stepped forward, with no doing of her own, it’s like her body moved without her permission. And when she came into Clarke’s orbit, she got lost in her eyes again. She was about to lift her hand to hold Clarke’s face when Clarke broke the moment, “I should rest a bit, I’m a little tired”.

Lexa blinked. What was she doing? “Yea yea, sure, I’m sorry, I’ll be downstairs, she turned on her heels and walked out the door.”

Clarke breathed out. She was so close to kissing her again. She wanted it. God, those eyes, those lips, she wanted to reach out and pull her into her space. But fuck, she told her she was tired. What has she gotten herself into? 

She threw herself face down into the pillow and tried to grab a quick nap. Green still lingering behind shut eyes. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9:**

Lexa didn’t know what just happened. She thought she almost kissed Clarke but was turned down too soon. Maybe Clarke and she were not on the same page after all. 

Clarke didn't come down for lunch, but Lexa saved some for her in the fridge and then left for the bar. Clarke was indeed tired from the day, she woke up at 6, ate lunch for dinner, spent the rest of her evening unpacking and then got into bed early. Anya knocked to check in on her and if she needed anything. 

Clarke thanked her and told her she was alright. Within minutes, Clarke fell asleep, for a moment forgetting that she had not made up her mind about how she would face Lexa the next day. Was moving here a bad idea? It couldn’t be, this place was too good to be true!

***

Lexa’s hours at the bar went by quickly. She was hoping to run into Clarke again, maybe before she went to bed. Every time a blonde came up to the bar, she was reminded of Clarke, at home, in HER home. She doesn't know what happened in the afternoon, but she didn't wanna think too much into it. After all, Clarke did move in, sure she wanted to see more of Lexa, right? 

So when Lexa rode back home and parked her bike, she got off and looked towards Clarke’s window. The lights were off. Guess she missed her opportunity. It was late after all. Lexa let herself in and then made her way to her room. Deciding to skip dinner, she lost her appetite and just needed a relaxing shower.

***

Clarke woke up to the sound of a bike. She took a moment to realise where she was, her new room. She got up and peeped outside. She saw Lexa just pulling in. She noted though, more specifically, there was no one with her. Lexa came home alone. “Don’t jump to conclusions, Clarke. It’s just been one day,” she told herself and then went back to bed. 

***

The next day was Saturday. The three of them sat together for breakfast. Clarke decided to take the higher route and just be mature about it all, so what if she was just one of Lexa’s conquests, at least she could avoid making it awkward for all of them. Clarke asked Anya about her job in the other city. Anya and she made small talk. Lexa butt in to tease Anya a little, just to keep the conversation light, and struggled so hard to not look at Clarke every time she laughed. 

Clarke’s phone buzzed with a message from Raven. She replied to it and then spoke to her flat-mates. "Raven's coming over for lunch." 

Anya lit up at that and Clarke felt the need to let Anya know, "I get the feeling you're into her? Raven's dating though". Anya deflated a little but shrugged it off. Lexa giggled at her antics. 

Lexa wanted a moment alone to speak with Clarke, about anything really, to see if Clarke was fine, or if she was still as off as she was yesterday afternoon. But sadly, Clarke never gave her an opportunity. Lexa figured she’d just have to be patient.

Raven came over that afternoon. One conversation led to the next, and the result - a housewarming party for Clarke!

"I'm inviting everyone!" Raven said. Under her breath, she mumbled, “Bellamy won’t be coming, though”. Clarke caught onto that, "What did you say?" Raven spoke more softly this time, “we broke up.” Lexa and Anya didn’t know what to say or do, so they gave Clarke and Raven some privacy. 

Anya was more than happy to know there’s gonna be a party before she left early Monday morning. She didn’t know who Bellamy was but assuming Clarke said Raven was taken, Bellamy might have been Raven’s partner. 

"We mutually decided to put some space between us. He was gonna travel soon and we knew that long-distance wasn’t an option. We wanna be mature about it. If we're meant to be together, the universe will bring us back to each other at some point right?" Raven said this with a chuckle in her voice. Clarke pulled her in for a hug. She knew, no matter how much strength you put into decisions like these, you still have to deal with the pain it brings along. She felt all the more horrible about not staying with Raven now. But Raven assured her she’d be fine. They agreed on sleepovers once a week, either at Raven’s or here. 

Lexa didn't wanna assume she was invited to the party. But then Raven put her in charge of the drinks - "It's like you decided your role at this party yourself," Raven joked, "being a bartender and all". Lexa rolled her eyes at that. "You're invited, don't cry," Raven poked at Lexa and Lexa just brushed it off. Secretly, she was doing a happy dance inside. 

Lexa left once again for work in the evening and Clarke didn't give her a cold shoulder this time. She told her to ride safe and that she’ll keep dinner for her in the fridge. 

It was enough for Lexa, it was something. 

When Lexa came back that night, having thought of Clarke all evening, she knew she wanted to see her tonight, even if it was just to say goodnight. But when she looked up at her window, her lights were off again. She swore she thought Clarke to be a late sleeper. 

***

Clarke was awake this time though when she heard the bike approach. It was 2 AM She was staring at the ceiling. She didn’t know why she stayed up, she tried to negate the thought that she wanted to know that Lexa got home, and not just that, but whether she brought someone home with her. When she peeped through the curtains, she breathed easy again. Lexa was indeed, alone. Maybe it’s just because Anya’s around, she thought. She decided to go back to bed. Something at the back of her mind pulled her out of her room though and into the kitchen downstairs.

“Woah there, Clarke, you scared me.” Lexa almost choked on the water she was drinking. 

“Sorry, I just came down for some water myself,” Clarke replied.

“Here, let me get that for you,” Lexa poured her a glass and handed it to her. 

While Clarke drank, Lexa tried to look away, but the dim refrigerator light allowed her to notice Clarke’s outfit for the night. Her night mask was on her forehead, her hair was a little dishevelled like she’d been tossing, she had a long t-shirt on and probably just her underwear under that. She had on pink fluffy slippers, the plush kind, and Lexa thought that was really cute. There wasn’t a bra, of that Lexa was sure. She could only guess why Clarke’s nipples were showing and she was hoping her guess was right. 

When Clarke finished drinking, she noticed Lexa smiling at her slippers. Oh shit, she did not think this through. Embarrassed, she twisted her feet a little inwards, “oh, ahm, I was supposed to get rid of these when I moved, guess they just stuck.”

Lexa laughed, “Oh no, don’t, they’re adorable” 

Clarke smiled. “Do you always get in this late on your own?” Clarke knew the last words were unnecessary, but she couldn't help herself. 

“Not really,” Lexa answered, completely missing the fact that there were two questions there and only answered the first. 

Clarke realised Lexa wouldn't elaborate, so took from it what she could. Again her eyes couldn't meet Lexa’s. She hoped Lexa wouldn't notice in the dark. She turned to go back upstairs, one foot already on the staircase, when Lexa grabbed her hand.

“Clarke, we should talk. Maybe tomorrow?” Lexa said, still holding on to Clarke's hand. 

Clarke turned around to the softest expression she’s seen on Lexa’s face. She wanted to cup her face and kiss her lips, those tender lips that knew hers so well. That spoke her name so reverently. She got lost in her eyes again, the green she was trying to avoid so much, she almost stepped into Lexa’s arms to kiss her when Lexa spoke again, “Clarke?”

“Huh? Yea, sorry, yes, we should talk, tomorrow” and with that, Clarke turned around and headed upstairs, leaving Lexa with a quick “G’night”. Lexa responded “G’night,” and watched as the woman she was growing fond of by the day ran upstairs. 

Lexa sat on the counter and ate her dinner. She knew she needed to talk to Clarke about what she’s been feeling for her ever since that night. She needed to know where Clarke was about it. If Clarke wasn’t on the same page, she’d respect her space. But if Lexa had a chance to woo Clarke and make her hers, she didn't want to lose the opportunity.

She’d never felt this way about anyone, with anyone. She’d never been so curious to know someone so much. She knew that this could just be an infatuation, but she didn't want to rule out the fact that this could be more if Clarke gave her a chance to get to know her, that is. Maybe she could ask Clarke out on a date? And if Clarke was willing, maybe they could decide after that if they still wanted to pursue this.

Lexa was nervous. Tomorrow she’d probably get to meet Clarke’s friends. She wondered what kind of people Clarke hung out with. She hoped they were like Raven, but not completely like Raven, no, that scared her a bit.   
  
For now, she ate. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always wondered what writers who wrote fanfictions meant when they say things like, "these characters wrote themselves" or "I'm not responsible for what these characters do" or "these characters take on a life of their own".   
> Now I know what they mean.

**Chapter 10:**

Clarke ran up to her room and shut the door. What had she gotten herself into? She couldn't stop thinking about Lexa. She was obsessing over when Lexa would bring her next girl home. But secretly, Clarke wanted to be Lexa’s girl. She wanted to have Lexa to herself. Yea, the truth is she had yet to get to know the girl better, but everything just felt right and Clarke worked on her instincts. Even the thought of those lips kissing anyone else made Clarke’s insides churn. Was she falling for Lexa when she didn't even know if Lexa was available or even wanted to get into something? She guessed she'd have to wait until tomorrow to find out. She got into bed, pulled her covers up and closed her eyes. She drifted off to sleep in no-time, thinking of Lexa’s arms around her. 

Clarke woke with the sound of a knock on her door, it was open a crack, but someone still knocked. She looked at the time, it was 3 AM. “Who is it?” 

Lexa peeped in, “Clarke, can I come in?” 

Clarke sat up, worried if everything was fine, what could possibly bring Lexa to her room at 3 AM. “Of course, what is it? Is everything okay?” Clarke asked, looking toward Lexa. But Lexa wouldn’t meet her eyes. She was wearing a tank top and cotton shorts, Clarke noticed, even in the dark. She put her bedside lamp on as Lexa sat by Clarke on the bed and then looked into her eyes.

“Clarke I couldn't stop thinking about you, and you’re right here, in my home. I could keep tossing in bed or I could just come to see you and I thought maybe you’d want to see me too, I know it’s presumptuous of me, but…,” Clarke didn't give Lexa a moment to finish her sentence.

She pulled the girl’s face to hers, crashing her lips into Lexa’s. “Hmmm,” Lexa moaned. Clarke didn’t know what she was doing right to elicit that moan from Lexa, but it felt all kinds of right, it felt like heaven, all over again. Clarke pulled Lexa’s face towards her, she wasn't gonna let the girl get away from her, at least for now. Lexa pulled the covers away and straddled Clarke in one quick motion. Clarke was glad she wasn't the only eager one. Clarke felt Lexa place her knees on both sides of her hips. Lexa then bent down to kiss Clarke’s neck. Clarke was so turned on, she took Lexa’s hand and placed it on her bare breast under her nightshirt. God, she loved the way Lexa fondled her boobs. Clarke began to whimper.

Lexa kissed her lips again, maybe to keep her voice down, maybe cause she just wanted her lips as much as Clarke wanted hers. A girl could hope. Clarke led Lexa’s hand down and slid it into her underwear. This was Clarke working on instinct. She hoped Lexa knew what she had to do next. Clarke wasn't shy of the speed at which she was going. She was already feeling too much. She was probably already wet thinking about Lexa before she fell asleep. Lexa lifted Clarke’s top with her other hand and took a nipple in her mouth. She licked first and then sucked and then lightly bit her nipple. Clarke arched her back. She kept one hand in Lexa's hair, holding her head to her breast.

With her hand inside Clarke’s underwear, Lexa began to rub on Clarke’s clit. On dipping lower, she found Clarke’s wetness and smeared it higher on Clarke’s clit. Before swiping down on it more vigorously. “Fuck Lexa, fuck me, uh, Oh God, Lex,” Clarke cried out loud. Right now she didn't care even if Anya heard, she was out to reach her orgasm and God help her, she was gonna make it. And that was Lexa’s cue. She thrust two fingers into Clarke slowly and then in and out, setting a pace. Clarke was on the edge, “Faster Lex, fuck,” she whimpered. Lexa bit on Clarke’s nipple, pulling it slightly and pressed her palm against her clit while she curled her fingers just a bit and that was it, “Lexaaa, GOD!”

Clarke woke up breathing hard, taking in where she was and what she was doing. She looked around her, she was alone and her hand was inside her underwear, the other one was under her shirt. She pulled her hands out in front of her immediately. One was wet, God, that was one hot dream. She took a moment to catch her breath and quickly got into the bathroom to wash her hands and her face, she was even sweating. 

***

Lexa just finished washing up the dishes she used and was heading upstairs. She paused near Clarke’s room, the door was just a tad bit open. She thought she should check on her, but then decided she would be asleep already. Lexa walked ahead and then shut her own door as she made her way into her room. 

Anya was a light sleeper, she heard a door shut and checked the time, it was almost three. She reached out to her nightstand to take a sip of water, but her glass was empty, she sighed. She decided to head downstairs. When she got out the door, she heard some sounds coming from down the hallway. Curious she walked towards the other doors, Lexa’s was shut and it was quiet, that means it was coming from Clarke’s. The door was a tad bit open so Anya decided to check on Clarke, she was about to knock when she caught sight of Clarke. Even in the dull light of just the moon shining through, it was pretty clear that Clarke was having a pretty intimate moment to herself. Her hand was lowered between her legs and her face was scrunched up. 

Anya turned around to go back to her room, realising she shouldn't have looked in when she heard something that made her stop in her tracks “Fuck Lexa, fuck me, uh, Oh God, Lex”.

Anya couldn't believe her ears, okay, maybe she could. As much as she felt guilty for seeing or hearing that, she knew she had to do something. She knocked on Lexa’s door as quietly as she could. She whisper-screamed into the door “ALEX, ALEX, open the fucking door.”  
She heard some shuffling and then the door opened. She pushed Lexa inside and shut the door behind her. 

“What the fuck Anya, is everything okay?”

“No Alexandria, nothing’s okay!” Anya retorted. “Can you not hear Clarke? Have I taught you nothing?”

Lexa was confused, but on hearing Clarke’s name she worried more. “What are you talking about, An? Is Clarke okay? Lexa almost got up, when Anya smacked her with a pillow. 

“Sit down,” Anya commanded.

Lexa sat and looked at her perplexed. Anya started pacing. They both were still whispering. 

“I was just going to get a glass of water and I heard some sounds, so I thought I'd check on Clarke, cause your room was quiet. And guess what, she was calling your name, with one hand in her underwear and the other under her shirt!”

“An, what the fuck, why would you watch her masturbate!” Lexa retorted.

Anya hit her on the head this time, and Lexa was visibly annoyed “I didn’t do it on purpose, omg, I thought she was crying, but she was whimpering for fuck sake, in her sleep. I turned around to go and pretend I didn't just see that, but then she legit screamed ‘Fuck.Lexa.Fuck.Me.Oh. God. Lex.” Anya said it so stoically like she was reading words for the first time. “Oh god, why do I remember this so vividly? I need to clean my ears, I need to forget this night, do you have anything strong here,” Anya continued to pace. 

But Lexa was hooked onto what she just heard. "Clarke was thinking about her, Clarke was getting off with the thought of her. She was responsible for Clarke’s orgasm? I mean, it could be a dream, but still, it counted right," she thought to herself. 

Anya hit her again with the pillow “where are you?”

“Will you stop hitting me, what do you want me to do?” 

“Are you really asking me this? The girl is clearly into you and she’s in your fucking house, woman up and make a move,” Anya offered. 

“Oh shut up Anya, I did. I tried. She pulled away. I intend on talking to her tomorrow.” Lexa replied. 

“Well you better, and put that girl out of her misery, please.” Anya stopped pacing now. She noticed Lexa thinking too hard.

“Oh Alex”, she sat beside her, “there are two ways this could go, if you like her, you tell her, she might tell you she likes you back or she’ll tell you she’s not interested.” Either way, at least you’ll know. And given what I just heard and saw, I think the odds are very much in your favour. 

Lexa smiled a little. She knew she was gonna talk to Clarke tomorrow. She was praying to whatever God there was up there that this was a dream for Clarke and not a nightmare, that she wanted Lexa in real life just as much as she wanted her in her subconscious. Lexa would never use this information against Clarke. But she needed to know from the girl. 

Anya told her to get some rest. Tomorrow was gonna be a long day.

Lexa didn't have to go into work tomorrow, but Clarke’s friends were coming over in the afternoon and would probably stay till pretty late into the night. Anya was gonna leave early Monday morning, so she probably wouldn't sleep at all. Anya left Lexa’s room after assuring her she wouldn't go peeping into Clarke’s room again. 

Lexa closed her eyes and allowed sleep to take over. 

***

Clarke closed her eyes and once again, she allowed Lexa to take over. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11:**

  
When Lexa woke the next morning, she thought about the day ahead. How was she gonna start this conversation with Clarke? Should she wait for after the party or should she speak to her before? 

She thought about Clarke.

Clarke. The girl who’s been filling her thoughts over the last few days. How can someone take over her mind in such little time? What was she? 16? She smiled to herself. She felt like she was 16. 

She closed her eyes and thought of Clarke. She replayed Clarke's smile in her mind. How was she so beautiful? Her mind went back to the night they fell into each other’s arms. She laughed at how she settled for the name Griffin. She thought about ‘The Griffin Experience’. Boy, what a night! She turned on her side and squeezed her thighs together, she was getting wet. She looked at the time. If she didn't let herself have this, she’d be on edge all day. She looked towards her door and figured it had to be locked. She’s sure Anya would have locked it behind her last night. She pulled her covers up and slipped her fingers into her underwear. She closed her eyes and imagined Clarke’s with her, Clarke going down on her, her tongue licking her clit. She arched her back when her hand went lower, slipping between her folds.

Knock Knock Knock.

“Alex, hurry up, breakfast is ready and we’ve got a long day ahead, Clarke’s friends are coming over today.”

“Be right there,” she called back. She didn’t have time. She thought of something. 

Lexa rolled over and opened the last drawer of her nightstand. She found her vibrator, pulled it out of its case and switched it on. Thank god she remembered to keep it charged, she thought. 

She pulled her underwear off under the covers and spread her legs, keeping her knees high.

She was already high-strung so she knew this would be quick. She turned it on and placed it right where she needed it, at her clit, it would be enough for now. She closed her eyes and slipped one hand in her shirt, caressing her breast and pinching at her own nipples. 

She began imagining Clarke again. Clarke’s sucking her breat, Clarke's fingers inside her. She arched her back and just about almost reached her climax, she was so close when her door swung open “Hey, there’s no need to rush, they won't be here until….. OH GOD!" Clarke brought her hand to her face, and then backed out and shut the door. “I’m sorry, I'm so sorry, I should have knocked," she called out.

Lexa pulled a pillow to her face, not knowing Clarke was already out the door. She was still breathing hard, coming down from her high. She wasn’t sure if Clarke was still at her door. "Wait, Clarke," she called. She jumped up, threw her robe on, didn't even tie, it, held it around her tight and ran to the door. 

Panting, she spotted Clarke still outside. “I’m sorry, I really should have knocked.”

Clarke really wasn’t sorry. But that's between us. 

“No, I mean, yea, you should have knocked, but” panting still, but now with a slight smirk, “nothing you haven’t seen before right.” Lexa was trying to be smooth. Clarke was caught completely off guard, were they gonna have the conversation here and now, right after she caught Lexa getting off. Lexa was astonished at her own confidence right now, it must have been the high. She shook it off. 

“Sorry, I didn't catch what you said when you got in.” Lexa continued. 

“Uh, I heard Anya tell you to come quick, I thought I'd tell you you could take your time.”

The innuendo of those words was not lost on either of them. When Clarke realised what she said, a mischievous smile grew on her. And Lexa visibly relaxed. “I’ll see you downstairs, Clarke.” Lexa stepped back into her room. She was about to close the door when Clarke stopped her. “If I were you, I’d finish up and then head downstairs, it is in fact a loooong day.”

With that, Clarke turned on her heels and went her way. Lexa shut the door and leaned back on it. Fuck, she was too far in to get out of this now. She grabbed her vibe and got in to shower. 

It’s needless to say, Lexa did come downstairs when she was done, but not before coming at least twice in the shower. 

***

“What took you so long,” Anya asked, without looking her way. 

Lexa looked toward Clarke who was eating her cereal at the kitchen island counter. “Just had to take care of something.” Clarke now looked her way, “it didn't take me as long as I thought it would, though.” She winked at Clarke.

Clarke swallowed hard. She needed some water. 

How were they gonna get through the day, like this? Clarke thought. 

***

They had to start somewhere. So once the trio was done with breakfast, they set about their day before the gang arrived. While most of them were first Raven’s friends, they had all grown to know and love Clarke ever since she moved here. Octavia, though, was the one friend they both made together, in college. The three of them were inseparable. And today, Octavia drove down from her hometown just to spend some time with her girls.   
She told Raven she’s bringing her boyfriend so Clarke and Raven were both looking forward to seeing who finally swept Octavia off her feet. 

Lexa stepped out to arrange for the alcohol. Anya volunteered to have the pool and the poolside ready, heading off to get it cleaned and set up the BBQ. 

Clarke said she would get some finger food ready, they were anyway going to order in some pizza for lunch. 

And just like that the three of them were off doing their own thing. 

When Lexa got back with the alcohol, she walked in to see Clarke in a tee and a pair of shorts, moving around the kitchen with so much of grace. There was music playing from her phone and she was singing along. 

Lexa couldn’t say that Clarke was any good, but the sight of Clarke in her kitchen, without a care in the world, singing like she wrote the song herself, was enough to bring a smile to Lexa’s face. Not wanting to come across like she was being a creep (which she knew she was being), she signalled her arrival by making sure the bags on the island counter made a sound when she set them down. 

  
“Oh, hi, you’re back,” Clarke turned around and said.

“Yea, just got in, heard you sing, what are you listening to?” Lexa asked. 

“Just some Taylor Swift,” Clarke smiled, realising she didn't get a chance to speak to Lexa earlier today, “Oh and sorry again about earlier this morning, I didn’t mean to barge in.”

Lexa’s confidence from earlier was gone and now she was just turning red. “No no, forget about it, it’s alright, we’re adults.” 

Suddenly she remembered the night before and the way Anya saw Clarke in bed. She felt guilty for even knowing. She felt the need to bring it up, “Clarke, there’s something I need to tell you.”

Clarke looked at her with a little concern now, wondering again if this is the conversation, or if this is another wet dream she was having. “What is it?”

“I don’t know how to say this, but Anya happened to see you last night, your door was a crack open and she thought you were...in distress… but when she noticed your...she noticed you were actually doing something else,” Lexa remembered they were being adults about it “you were taking care of yourself, she walked away.”

Clarke's eyes widened.

“Don’t panic," Lexa continued, "she didn't watch, she turned around the moment she realised and then walked into my door cause she couldn't keep the guilt to herself,” Lexa didn’t want to put Clarke on the spot by telling her what Anya had heard. 

“God, this is so embarrassing, it was a wet dream. I woke up startled. Fuck, how did Anya keep a straight face in front of me this morning.”

Lexa chuckled, “the same way I’m keeping a straight face in front of you today. You did catch me in the middle of something, after all”.

Clarke sneered, “Your face has mischief written all over it, it’s far from straight.” If Clarke could even have these little moments of banter with Lexa, she was good for it. So what if Lexa couldn't be hers, at least she had this right. 

Lexa laughed, “Okay now we’re even, let's just forget about it.” Clarke smiled appreciatively and turned to get back to her preparations.

“About the conversation...I wanted to have with you,” Lexa nervously picked at the straps of the bags she had just kept on the counter. 

Clarke turned again to listen, when Anya walked in from the back door, “Hey, you’re back, come help me out with the pool, I’m having some trouble with the filter.” 

“Oh, yea sure,” Lexa replied. Anya turned to go when Lexa looked at Clarke apologetically, “soon?” 

Clarke nodded. 

***

When the food was done, Clarke decided to go upstairs to get ready, her friends would be here soon and she needed to be pool-ready. She decided to keep the shorts but switched the tee for a teal-blue bikini. She made sure she had the bikini bottom under her shorts instead of her usual underwear. And draped a shrug over it all. It wasn't buttoned down, it was...enough.

She looked at herself in the mirror and was glad. She texted Raven asking her where she was and just then she heard her pull up on her bike just in front of their home. She went downstairs to let her in.

When Clarke opened the door, Raven looked at her up and down and whistled, “I thought you slept with her already.” 

Clarke looked perplexed, “What? Is it too much? Does it look like I'm trying too hard?”

“No no, I was kidding, but sure, that will get you another night.” Raven giggled. 

“Oh please, I don't wanna be just another night, I’d rather not at all, if it's gonna be just one night again”

“Rather not what?” Lexa caught them mid-conversation. 

“Nothing, nothing at all,” Clarke replied too quickly for anyone to believe her. 

It was then that Clarke noticed Lexa frozen in her tracks. She visibly tried not to look Clarke head to toe, but was failing miserably. Clarke couldn't deny, she loved what she did to Lexa, she just wished this was more for the brunette. “Ahem,” Raven interrupted, and that brought Lexa back to the present. “Girl, you can at least try to be subtle.” Raven giggled. 

“I… I should go change,” Lexa took a few steps back and shot up the staircase. God, this was getting embarrassing, she thought. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all for today, guys! Hit Kudos if you like where this is heading?   
> Tell me what you think in comments.   
> I'm new to writing fiction. So your thoughts really help :) Have some ideas too? Share it! 
> 
> Next update in another couple of days mostly.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey ya'll! Thanks for all the kudos and the comments <3 Here are a few more chapters.

**Chapter 12:**

  
‘What is wrong with me,’ Lexa thought to herself, while back in her room, 'Clarke's body, she’s seen it already, God, she’s touched it, kissed it, made it shiver already, and yet, here she was like a fucking teenager, swooning over Clarke in a bikini.' 

Should she bail on this party and just go somewhere else? 'No', she reasoned with herself. Just get it together. 

Lexa changed into a one-piece bathing suit, she pulled her shorts over it and made her way back downstairs. She didn’t wait to make more conversation with Clarke and Raven, figuring she had embarrassed herself enough. She walked out to the pool and noticed Anya had changed too, but she was sitting with Raven and talking while both their feet dangled inside the pool. That had to mean Clarke was probably inside. She turned to go fetch some more towels from the storeroom, but when she turned around she suddenly bumped into the blonde. She caught hold of Clarke’s elbows to make sure the girl didn't fall backwards with the sudden start. And here she was inches away from Clarke’s face, again. 

“Sorry,” Lexa said, “Are you okay?”

“Yea, yea I am”, Clarke replied, pausing to look into Lexa’s eyes. “Hi,” Clarke smiled. 

Lexa smiled, “Hi” 

“You look nice,” Clarke said, “That’s a nice swimsuit,” without looking away from Lexa’s eyes.

“Thank you,” Lexa almost whispered, not needing to be any louder given their proximity. 

There was something different about Lexa’s eyes at this moment, it wasn’t mischief, it wasn't lusting, it wasn’t all those things she’d seen earlier. This was something softer, something Clarke had not witnessed before. Was it adoration? She couldn’t be sure. 

Clarke’s eyes flitted to Lexa’s lips, she didn't mean to, but it just happened, and that drew Lexa out of her daze. 

She let go of Clarke’s elbows. “I’ll be right back, just getting more towels from the storeroom.”

Clarke nodded, still recovering from how close she was to pulling Lexa’s lips to hers. She pondered. Why was it that she wanted Lexa so much and yet was so hesitant to get what she wanted? She thought back to the fact that Lexa saw many girls and she didn't know who she was to Lexa yet other than her flatmate.

Lexa gave herself grief for walking out on that opportunity. Clarke looked at her lips, why did she get nervous? What was happening to her? Was she out of game around the girl?

Clarke stepped outside and noticed Anya and Raven talking. Nothing new there, Raven was always quick to make friends. And just then the doorbell pulled her attention. 

“That must be Octavia,” Raven called out and immediately jumped up to grab Clarke by the arm and pull her to the door.” 

When they opened the door, Octavia didn't wait a moment before she wrapped both of them in a tight hug! They didn't even notice the tall, dark and handsome man behind them! 

“Omg, Hi you guys,” Octavia screamed.

“It’s so good to see you, babe” Raven chimed in.

They felt like they were in college again, squealing in delight to see one another. 

“Come in, both of you,” Clarke realised she needed to finally acknowledge the man behind Octavia. 

“Guys, this is…” Octavia began

“Lincoln?” Anya interrupted! “What the fuck, you didn't even tell me you were in town!” Anya moved in to hug him. He was about to say something when Lexa walked in on the commotion. “Lincoln! Anya, why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn't know myself," came Anya’s reply. 

“Wait, Linc, you know Clarke’s flatmates?” Octavia, caught Lincoln's hand, a show of possessiveness she could not control among a sea of women. 

He was about to speak when Lexa said, “Lincoln is Anya’s brother.”

Octavia hit him on his arm, “You knew we were coming to your sister’s place and you didn’t tell me!”

He was about to speak again when Anya spoke, “Well technically, it’s our cousin Alex’s place, but he knew I was here.” 

Lexa and Clarke both corrected Anya at the same time, “It’s Lexa,” not wanting to confuse Octavia the way Clarke had gotten confused. 

Lexa came to stand beside Clarke. The girl was insatiable. 

Now all eyes were on him, “Oh finally they allow me to speak.” He walked over to hug Anya and said “Octavia told me she wanted me to take the drive with her here cause Clarke moved into a new place, I was gonna call and let you guys know I’d be in town. But when Octavia told me the address I figured I could just orchestrate a big surprise. And Clarke didn't mention the names of her flatmates, so Octavia couldn’t even put two and two together. Don’t worry An, I had already mentioned you quite a few times.”

Anya smiled proudly and went on to say hello to Octavia. Anya had heard from Lincoln that he’d been seeing someone for the past 8 months, but they all just never had a chance to meet her. Of course, Anya had seen her pictures, but sure Octavia could not be blamed for never having seen Anya. Anya just wasn't much of a picture person.

When Lincoln came up to Lexa, she had her hands folded across her chest and had the most serious look Clarke had ever seen on her. 

The whole room was quiet, not knowing what was the relationship between Lexa and Lincoln like. Lexa raised her chin higher, it wasn't just because Lincoln was taller than her, she had a different aura about her. Clarke noticed Lexa stood straighter and even had her feet apart. ‘Why was this so hot to witness?’ thought Clarke. 

She looked to Anya to see if at least Anya or Octavia knew what was going on. Octavia was just as confused as the rest of the room but Anya wore a knowing smile. 

Lincoln reached his hand out, “Heda.”

Lexa reached her hand out and caught his forearm, it was a handshake but not the conventional one, this one felt like it went way back. “Warrior,” Lexa acknowledged.

And then, as smoothly as they could, smiles appeared on both their faces. Lexa’s expression and stance changed and she almost jumped to hug the tall, broad-shouldered man before her. 

“Boy, have you grown heavy!” Lincoln chuckled. Lexa hit him while still hugging him. “Ouch, why is everyone hitting me?” 

Clarke was seeing a new side to Lexa. And she was cherishing every moment of it. 

“Cause you're an idiot for not telling An and me that you were gonna be here,” Lexa said, pulling out of the hug.

“Can’t I have this, at least once in my life? The two of you have always teamed up against me!” Lincoln continued. Lexa rolled her eyes. 

“Okay enough with all of this, I’m hoping everyone’s met everyone now, you guys can go freshen up, we’ll all get to know each other better in a bit.” Anya directed Octavia and Lincoln to her room to change if they wanted to or just rest for a bit since the drive was long. 

Raven walked up to Anya, “Octavia is Bellamy’s sister, by the way, the guy I was seeing, the one I told you about, I met him through Octavia actually.” 

“Oh, what a small world”, Anya didn’t know why Raven felt the need to mention, though she was glad that Raven needed to continue their conversation from earlier by the pool. So she walked with her to the poolside again. 

Clarke gave Lexa an elbow nudge, “Heda?” 

It suddenly dawned on Lexa that it wasn’t just her, Anya and Lincoln in the room. Red began to creep up her neck. “Oh, ahm, it means Commander. Names we had given each other when we played together as kids. It stuck.” She shrugged. 

Clarke smirked, “Heda, huh?” she said. “Sounds nice. Commander though has a better ring to it.” And with that, Clarke walked in front of Lexa and then back towards the pool leaving the brunette a shade pinker. 


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13:**

As the afternoon drew closer, more of their friends came by, Monty and Jasper - Raven’s go-to boys for all things illegal. Emori and Murphy, Raven’s colleagues. Niylah, an artist Clarke had befriended at the gallery, who had also met Raven multiple times. Harper, Monty’s girlfriend. Monroe, Clarke’s colleague and Echo, Raven’s previous roommate.

Lincoln and Octavia took charge of the BBQ while Raven took charge of the music. Clarke made sure food kept filling the table outside, Lexa concocted some cocktails for the gang, while the rest of them caught up on each other's lives. 

Raven made sure to fill Octavia in on Clarke and Lexa’s position in each other’s lives. And Octavia could totally believe this was the place Clarke was in. So typical. Octavia told Raven she was sorry to hear about the break-up. Raven smiled. She knew they wouldn't last, Bellamy had told her he wasn't looking for something long term, not yet at least, he was already planning to travel for a couple of years. But Bel was Octavia's brother and Raven was her best friend, so she was definitely looking out for both of them. 

When Octavia and Lincoln got into the pool, they called out to the rest to join. While most opted not to, Lexa was sure she wanted in. So she pulled her shorts down and dove in, not realising, Clarke was the target of a huge splash of water. 

Clarke stood there soaked, waiting for her body temperature to adjust to the cool water on her body. When Lexa came back up to the surface, she realised what had happened. “I’m so sorry, Clarke, I didn’t see you standing there.” Before Lexa or Clarke saw it happening, Raven pushed Clarke into the pool. Clarke fell so close to Lexa that all Lexa had to do was reach over and pull Clarke up. Clarke was breathing so hard, still recovering from the change in temperature, “RAVVVEEEENNNN, just you wait.” 

Lexa laughed, not realising her hands were still on Clarke’s waist. Clarke felt it all of a sudden. A starkly warm feeling along her waist when the water itself was too cold. When Clarke turned around in Lexa's embrace, it struck Lexa all at once where her hands were and she withdrew them.

A shiver ran down Clarke’s spine. “God, your hands are warm”. 

“Thank you?” Lexa wasn’t sure how she should react to that. “Well, now that you’re in,” she took a step back and began splashing water onto Clarke, and Clarke splashed back. Octavia and Lincoln looked on in amusement. Clarke was winning, she was faster and seemed to have a good angle with her hands to completely throw Lexa off her game. So Lexa did what she knew best, she moved in closer and with one swift move caught Clarke's hands and held them down, this inadvertently pulled Clarke toward her. 

They laughed, caught their breath and then became aware of their proximity again. Clarke was the first to step back. "I need... I need to go check on something," Clarke said. Lexa tried not to looked disheartened. Why did Clarke always move back? Was she doing something wrong? She needed to talk to her, soon, she was beginning to think the conversation wouldn't go as she wanted either. But then at least she'd know. She wouldn't feel so much in the dark. 

Clarke was the first to get out of the pool. She knew if she stayed in, she would have kissed Lexa and not been able to explain it. She wrapped a towel around herself and made her way to the BBQ to warm up a little. Lincoln and Octavia got out in a bit too. 

Lexa decided to swim for a bit. When Clarke looked back at the pool, Lexa was freestyling. She watched as the brunette moved so gracefully, she noticed her toned arms and legs, her physique was extraordinary. Why was she giving Lexa such a hard time, she knew she was avoiding her. Why was she giving herself such a hard time? 

Clarke was brought out of her reverie when Niylah approached her and started talking with her. Niylah was a great friend. Clarke could always count on her. She was talented, funny and a great drinking partner too. So they fell into conversation easily. 

When Lexa looked for Clarke from the pool, she noticed Niylah. What worried her more, though, was Niylah’s hand low on Clarke’s back and how Clarke didn’t seem to mind it. Clarke was seeming to be having a really good time talking to the girl, she was giggling and she was laughing aloud. Lexa started going back to the afternoon to see if she recalled Niylah’s behaviour around Clarke or if Clarke was especially attentive to Niylah. Nothing out of the ordinary, so why was this bothering her. 

She decided to let it go for now. She needed to plan how she would talk to Clarke soon. She got out of the pool and headed inside to change. 

The gang gorged on pizza and decided to take the party inside. They all took turns and changed out of their swim-wear and decided to watch a movie together in the living room. Everyone gathered around the TV and took a spot. 

Clarke sat in the centre of the sofa with Niylah on her right and Raven on her left. “I don’t know why I’m asking you this, but can you leave this spot empty for Lexa,” Clarke asked Raven. 

Raven’s jaw dropped at that, “What are you up to, girl?” 

“Nothing, I just want her to be close. That’s it.” Clarke replied in a whisper. 

“Well, you jumping out of the pool when she was close, told a different story,” Raven warned. 

“Give me a break, I really don't know how to behave around her, but it's like gravity keeps pulling me to her even though I don't know what the scene is between me and her. Truth is she hasn't really brought any girl home since I moved in, I can't say whether that’s cause Anya’s here. But maybe I’m being too hard on her. I don’t know.” Raven nodded understandingly. 

Anya sat on the floor leaning against the coffee table. “Can someone grab the popcorn,” Anya called. “Yeah sure,” Raven answered and got up to get it. When she came back though, she sat beside Anya. So when Lexa had the movie set up and turned around to see where she could sit, she was glad there was a spot near Clarke. Clarke saw it on her face and smiled invitingly. But then Clarke noticed Lexa’s expression change when her eyes flitted towards Niylah on the other side. Clarke figured they might not have been introduced. 

When Lexa sat beside Clarke, “Hi,” she said to her.

“Hi,” Clarke said back, “Lexa, meet Niylah, she’s an artist at the gallery I work at. Niylah, meet Lexa, she owns this place.”

Niylah bent forward to shake Lexa’s hand and Lexa took it politely. "Hi, it’s nice to meet you," Niylah said. They made small talk with Clarke in between them, but it didn't escape Lexa that Clarke’s hand was on Niylah’s knee and Niylah's hand was on the back of the sofa behind Clarke. When Clarke noticed Lexa’s eyes shift, she immediately withdrew her hand from Niylah’s knee. It probably landed there when Niylah cracked some joke earlier. 

Lexa was no longer paying attention to what Clarke and Niylah were talking about. The movie started, Monty switched the lights off but Lexa wasn’t watching. She scooted a little away from Clarke, realising that maybe this was a relationship Clarke was pursuing and that's why she kept distancing herself from Lexa.

Clarke calling her name in the middle of the night was not Clarke’s doing, it was a wet dream as she had said earlier, maybe she regretted it, cause she was with Niylah, Lexa thought. She was spiralling when she suddenly felt a warm hand on her knee. She looked to her right. Clarke was looking at her concerned, “Hey, are you alright,? she whispered. Lexa wasn’t paying attention, she was still in her head. She was thinking about how everything up till now was all in her head. Maybe Clarke and she were just that, a one-night stand. 

“I’ll be right back,” Lexa said and got up to go to the bathroom. Clarke waited a beat and then told Niylah she’d be back. ‘Gravity’ she thought and rolled her eyes. 

Lexa got into her room, shut the door, leaned back against it and took some deep breaths. But with her eyes closed, she could only see blue eyes again. So she opened them and breathed deeply again. It just took her a minute but she felt better. 

When Clarke reached Lexa’s room, she knocked, “Lex, hey, is everything okay? Lex?”

The door opened immediately. “Yea, yea, all’s good, see you downstairs.” And with that, Lexa walked past Clarke and made her way back down. Clarke was standing in the hallways wondering why a storm just passed her by but didn’t pull her along. Lexa was acting weird, different. 

She decided to use the restroom in her room before going back down. She sprayed on some deodorant just for good measure.

When Clarke got back downstairs, Lexa was not on the sofa. It was just Niylah. She looked around, everyone was where they were previously. Octavia and Lincoln snuggled on one seat. Some of them sitting on the carpet on the floor. And then her eyes spotted Lexa, staring directly at the screen, seated right beside Anya. 

Clarke made her way back to the sofa, defeated. Why did Lexa not want to sit near her anymore? She felt a heaviness she hadn’t felt before. Niylah asked her if all was good when she sat back down. “Yea, no, all’s good, she smiled. 

Raven looked back at Clarke when she realised Lexa was sitting beside Anya. Clarke shrugged. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just two chapter updates for you guys today, stay tuned! Leave a comment with your thoughts?


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your kudos and comments. Subscribe to the story to get updates on mail og when i upload new chapters!

Chapter 14:

When the movie ended, Monty switched the lights back on and they all got talking, first about the movie and then about life in general. Lexa refilled their glasses and conversation moved on quickly from one thing to the next. Before they knew it they were reminiscing about college. Octavia began by telling tales of her adventures with Clarke and Raven, and while that momentarily brought Clarke out of her confusion about Lexa, it just made Lexa more fond of Clarke. She wondered what it would have been like to know Clarke in college.

Lexa was plagued with thoughts about Clarke and Niylah the whole movie through. She was too afraid to look back and find them both closer to each other on the couch, so she didn't look back. But now, they were all talking about a younger Clarke, a Clarke was just as carefree as she is now, but with oh so much of mischief running through her veins. Lexa laughed at some of the stories, while Clarke covered her face at some of them. At some stories, Clarke just lifted her chin proudly. Lexa found it difficult to not look away. Until Clarke caught her gaze again, then she all but shifted her gaze to someone else. 

It didn't get past anyone that Clarke's face grew smaller by the second that evening.   
  
It was 7 PM when Murphy called, “Let's play!” It took Lexa a moment to guess what the last conversation was when someone yelled “7 minutes in heaven”. It then dawned on her that the conversation was about college party games and they decided to bring one back. 

“Guys, hold on, Lexa and Anya are new to a lot of you, let's ask them if they’re okay with this game first,” Raven announced. 

Anya shrugged, “I’m in, let’s have some fun”. Everyone looked to Lexa, “Yeah sure, I mean why not,” she said. 

Clarke was secretly hating the fact that Lexa said yes to this game. Clarke’s luck was always bad with it, all through college. And here, among so many people, what were the odds that she’d get to spend 7 minutes in heaven with the only girl she wanted.

And what made it worse was that there were other people here who could possibly get a chance to kiss those heavenly lips and the thought itself made her insides churn. She crossed her fingers and prayed that if there was a god up there, she’d get Lexa to herself, even if it was just for 7 minutes. She could do a kiss right. Like they did that night, no strings attached. At least it would be something with no guilt since it was a game. Cause god, if she couldn't have this moment with this woman, she was going to go crazy.

And that was it. They all gathered around the coffee table, drinks in hand, called the rules and placed a bottle in the centre. 

“Heaven is the storeroom right there, heaven is whatever the two participants consider heaven, and if you’re already committed and heaven is only a place with your partner, then you better have some better ideas of what you can do in a storeroom with another person for 7 minutes,” Raven announced. 

The bottle spun, Clarke closed her eyes and had her hand behind her, fingers crossed. Lexa noticed. She was trying not to look Clarke’s way, but couldn’t help herself. This time Niylah wasn’t beside her though. ‘Maybe Clarke wanted 7 minutes with Niylah so best she sits away from her?’ Lexa thought. She deflated a bit but continued to watch Clarke. When Clarke opened her eyes she saw Lexa looking at her. Green, this time not so bright, a fallen face and a deflated spirit. Clarke couldn't understand what Lexa was thinking about. She just wished she could speak to her soon and find out what's on her mind. 

“Woods, Griffin you’re up,” Raven called, more excitedly than expected. Lexa froze, what did she just hear? Clarke’s eyes lit up a bit. Lexa looked toward the bottle and then back at Clarke. Raven and Octavia exchanged looks. Clarke rose and reached her hand out to a still shocked Lexa. Everything was happening too quickly. “Come on,” Clarke said to her. 

Lexa rose, her hand in Clarke's and followed the blonde to the storeroom. It was dark and small enough to only fit two people really close to each other. So when the door shut and Lexa looked at Clarke, she wasn't surprised to see her so close to her, eyes boring into hers. 

Clarke grabbed both of Lexa’s hands. And Lexa looked down. “Lex, what’s going on, why are you behaving differently since the movie.” 

“Nothing,” Lexa said, still looking at their hands. 

“Look at me,” Clarke said, letting go of one hand and lifting Lexa’s chin. “You said you wanted to talk to me.” 

“It doesn’t matter now. I found out what I needed to,” Lexa said, very seriously. 

“From who? And what did you need to know?” Clarke asked, more confused now than ever. 

“Clarke, don’t tease me, I didn't know you were into someone else, I wouldn't have flirted otherwise. You said you weren't seeing anyone on your first day here. so I thought I’d have a chance. But I saw the way she is around you. Don't worry, I can take a hint.” Lexa retorted, whispering so that no one outside would hear, and yet she had an accusatory tone to it.

Clarke’s eyes widened, “Lex, what are you talking about? Who are you talking about, I’m not interested in anyone but you since the day I took you home.”

Lexa’s interest peaked, but she was still walking on ice, “Clarke, what is Niylah to you?”

“A friend!" she exclaimed, now whispering like Lexa, "A very touchy one at that.” Clarke added as an afterthought. 

“Then why have you constantly been pulling away from me every time I got close to you? You sure as hell haven’t been interested in me by the looks of it.” Lexa said. 

“God, Lexa, you don’t even know half of it. Anya told me you bring girls home all the time, I figured I was just another one of them and I waited two nights to see if you would bring someone else home, but Anya also told me you never brought them home when she was around, so really I was just… I don't know Lexa, I don't know why I was just waiting for you to show me some sign that I wasn’t just one of the many girls you bring home to sleep with. And given that we did sleep together before we became roommates, I just needed something else to know if you wanted to give us something more than a night. Why did you pull away this evening?”

Lexa couldn't believe what she was hearing, but she answered with no hesitance, "Yea, I get nervous around you, I pulled away cause I'm a useless puddle around you,” Lexa admitted shyly. 

She continued, “Clarke, I haven't been able to think about anything else, let alone anyone else, ever since our night together. Yes, Anya’s not wrong, I did bring home a different girl every night. Well, not every night, just when it got lonely. But Clarke, there can’t be anyone after you. There hasn't been and if you want to give us a shot just as much as I want to, there won't ever be anyone else."

Knock Knock Knock

“Times up, folks” Harper called. 

“Give us a minute,” Clarke called. She was sure she gave them a reason to talk about them. 

“That’s ambitious, but it’s cute”, Clarke said to Lexa as she took the brunette's hands and placed them around her waist. 

Count on Clarke to break the seriousness of the moment, Lexa thought and smiled. 

“I don’t know about you Lex, but I want more, more of this,” Clarke placed her finger on Lexa’s lips “and more of this, she moved her finger to Lexa’s chest, hand on her heart. Let’s give it a shot?”

Lexa nodded, “Can I kiss you, now? I feel like I've been waiting so long to ask you,” Clarke nodded. She just about leaned in…

“Get out, suckers,” Raven called

Clake sighed and bent her head into the crook of Lexa’s neck.

Lexa wrapped her arms tight around Clarke. And kissed her head. “Let’s talk some more about this later?”

Clarke nodded and they both got out of the room welcomed by raised eyebrows and whistles.

Lexa wanted to reach out and hold Clarke’s hand, just cause she now knew Clarke wanted this too. A part of her wanted to hold Clarke’s hand to show Niylah that Clarke’s hands were full. But Lexa held off, this much was enough for now.

They both sat on the floor with the rest of the group and the game went on.

Monty got paired with Jasper at one point and who knows what they were up to during their 7 minutes. When the bottle pointed towards Raven and Octavia, the two girls were not subtle at all about what they’d be up to. So much so, that Octavia hopped onto Raven’s waist and wrapped her arms around her neck. Raven held Octavia around her hips and they strolled into the storeroom.

The people in the room were not new to their antics, but Lincoln sure was restless, no matter how hard he tried to look cool. When they were out, with mischievous grins on their faces, Octavia went straight to Lincoln and straddled his lap, she leaned in and whispered into his ear, making sure everyone was watching and no one could hear, “we played rock paper scissors and I won 11 times, she made me swear I wouldn't tell anyone, but you’re not just anyone,” she kissed him on the cheek and he blushed. 

It gave everyone else a different picture altogether. Octavia succeeded. 

When Raven sat beside Anya, Anya was too tempted to ask, “how was it?” 

“Uh, all good” Raven said. Anya knew not to dig further. Little did Anya know Raven just lost face in there. 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally right?!? I read your comments about how you guys wanted to shake these two up! I wanted to too :D

**Chapter 15**

While everyone took their turns, Clarke and Lexa kept stealing glances at each other, happy that now things were clear between them, there was still stuff to talk about. They were flatmates at the end of the day. But it could wait. For now, they were glad to be here, with their friends who were almost family and family who were just like best friends. 

At one point, the bottle turned on Clarke and Lincoln and it was a no brainer that nothing scandalous would happen. Clarke though was pretty surprised with the way her 7 minutes with him turned out. 

They entered the room and Lincoln was so tall, she had to look a little upward to really see him. 

“Hi, what are your intentions with Lexa,” Lincoln went straight to the point. 

“What… what are you talking about?” Clarke smiled. 

Lincoln laughed and Clarke saw the way he relaxed. “I’m kidding, was just trying to break the ice.”

Clarke smiled, but it took her a moment to realise he was in fact kidding. 

“Hey, don’t panic, I don't know anything about you and Lex, but I see the way she looks at you and I see you returning her gaze. It’s pretty obvious in the room. It’s just that I know her since we were kids, so I know when she’s in deep.”

“Oh, when was the last time she was in so deep?” Curious now, Clarke thought she’d try him.

“Now that’s a question you should ask her. It’s not my place to tell. What I can tell you though is give her a chance, she’s a real charmer on the outside, but on the inside she’s still navigating every step, thinking about it to the T.”

Clarke nodded in understanding. She was glad Lincoln was telling her this. It was something more. She knew it wasn't her place to ask too much. So she moved on to something else.

“But if she likes you, and if you want to know if she's really into you, expect breakfast. She only does that for the ones she wants around. Cause she’s good at it and well, it's her test for the girl too. Cause if the girl wants something more than a one-night-stand, she generally sticks around for breakfast."

Clarke laughed. She knew what he meant. A long awkward silence later... 

“Octavia looks really happy. I’m so glad she’s finally found, someone.” Clarke said. 

“I hope I can keep her happy forever, she is everything to me,” Lincoln said, looking up at the darkness in the storeroom. 

Clarke loved it when men could get this expressive. She felt at ease knowing that Octavia has Lincoln. 

“Alright, times up” came Octavia’s voice. 

When they got out, Lincoln wrapped his arms around her shoulder and she leaned on him and they got back to their spot. 

When they got bored with the games, they moved into conversations and drinks. It was the drinking games that had them falling like bowling pins. 

Some of them called it a night before they passed out, and called their cabs. They bid their farewells and got home safe. Anya offered Octavia and Lincoln her bed for them to sleep over, she didn't want them driving so much this late at night, it allowed them to drink some more too. 

Lexa told Anya she could sleep in her bed and that Lexa would take the couch. “Or just make a move on your girl and get into her bed,” suggested Anya. Lexa winced, “I spoke to her, we’re on the same page. I’ll talk to her some more, tonight. But no, I’m not gonna just impose and get into her bed.” Anya rolled her eyes and said, “Anyway, my flight’s in a couple of hours, let me take the couch.” They continued to discuss. 

Raven, on the other hand, had had a little too much to drink, while Clarke was trying to slow her down, it was pretty evident she was not in a great state to get home, even if she had to take a cab. Anya offered to drop her home but Lexa reminded Anya about her flight in a few hours. Anya figured it was best then to just let Raven sleepover. Without thinking twice, Clarke said Raven could sleep in her bed. Anya nodded and said she’d help her upstairs. 

Raven was face down on the island counter. Anya wrapped an arm around her waist and took Raven’s arm around her shoulder and managed to get her to move. With a little help from Lexa they had her at the top of the stairs. Anya got Raven to Clarke's room, took off her shoes and tucked her in. She hoped Raven was comfortable and didn't need to change. She was in fact wearing a t-shirt and shorts. 

“Raven, do you need help getting your bra off?” Anya asked.

“No, I got it,” Raven reached her hands behind her but was far too drunk to get it done. 

“I can help,” Anya offered. Raven nodded.

And just like that, Anya reached behind Raven and unclasped Raven’s bra under her tee. Raven managed to pull her hands through the straps with her tee still on. 

“Hmmm, your hands are so soft,” Raven said, half asleep, very drunk. 

“Why, thank you, Raven.” Anya smiled, amused at Raven's drunk talk. 

“Hmmm, keep holding my hand,” Raven mumbled.

“Ahmmm, okay, but only until you fall asleep,” then I'll leave you to it. 

“Hmmm,” Raven seemed to be okay with that, Anya mused. When Anya was sure Raven had in fact fallen asleep, she got up, turned down the lights and came back to the staircase. 

“Alex, do you need any help?” She knew Clarke and Lexa would be cleaning up. She also knew that she’d have to leave for her flight in a few hours. So she didn't wanna head back downstairs. 

Clarke called back, “Yea, we got it, Anya, don't worry about it, please get some rest.”

And with that Clarke and Lexa were alone again. They picked up some stuff around the place, had all the dishes and the glasses in the sink and finally sank into the couch, tired from the busy day. 

“Thank you for entertaining my guests today, Lex. You and Anya didn't have to do all of it. So thanks.” Clarke smiled, taking Lexa’s hand in hers, both of them still too tired to angle themselves to each other.

Lexa turned her face towards Clarke, “Don’t get all formal with me, you. You know Anya would never say no to a party and I would never say no to …. Raven. She did ask me to be the bartender.” 

“Oh is it?” Clarke mused. "And here I thought you were at this party for me. What a shame?”

“Why is it a shame?" Lexa asked. 

“Because I was gonna give you kiss in thanks, but I guess you can count on it from Raven," Clarke smugly said. 

“Oh, don’t you play that card on me. I’ve waited too long.” Lexa said.

Clarke giggled and leaned in. Lexa drew closer. They paused, inches away from the other.

Lexa whispered, “I don't know about you but I paused out of habit, there’s generally something that interrupts us here, it's either you or me.”

Clarke smiled, looked upwards at absolutely nothing, noting the silence they were in and the fact that no one was around them. "there's nothing, no one and it's not gonna be me."

"Then maybe I should kiss you now," Lexa said.

"Maybe" Clarke agreed. 

And with that Lexa drew her lips closer to Clarke's. And just when their lips touched, Lexa pulled away to do a fist pump and then came back to Clarke's lips. Clarke laughed into the kiss and held Lexa's jaw with one hand. Lexa held Clarke's waist with one hand and slipped her other hand into blonde tresses. They were in no hurry, no rush whatsoever. So much so, that neither deepened the kiss.

Clarke moaned into the kiss when Lexa took her bottom lip between hers. And it sent shivers down Lexa's spine. When they both had their share of the kiss, they pulled back, content just to have this moment to themselves. 

"Clarke, I know we started off...a little too intense, but it was different for me. I've never, well I've never felt the way I did when you and I had sex. And I'm not just talking about the sex. God, the Griffin Experience!" Clarke laughed at that, still looking into Green eyes. "But it wasn't just that, I don't know how to say this, but you intrigue me, I want to get to know you, I want to spend more time with you. I don't know what it is about you." She kissed Clarke's lips again. 

"Hmmm," Clarke was revelling in this moment. "Ditto," she said and kissed Lexa back. 

"Ditto?" Lexa asked, between kisses. 

"Yea, same" Clare assured. 

Lexa pulled back, "that's it?" 

"Lex, I waited too long for those lips on mine and if you keep talking, I'll change my mind," Clarke warned. 

Lexa chuckled and then kept kissing Clarke. At some point, their kisses did grow deeper and their hands more explorative, and then with the tiredness of the day, they both fell asleep sitting on the couch. 


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16:

When it was time for Anya to leave, she checked on Raven and then headed downstairs. When she found Lexa and Clarke on the couch, she contemplated waking them up to get to bed. It was already 4 am and Clarke had to get to work in the morning. 

She decided to send them to bed. She woke Lexa first. "Alex, Alex, wake up, go sleep upstairs." 

When Lexa woke, she stirred Clarke from her sleep too, given that her arm was around her and Clarke had her head resting near Lexa's neck. 

"Hey, are you leaving? Should I drop you to the airport?" Lexa asked.

"No, are you kidding me, go back to sleep, but go upstairs. Especially you, Clarke, you've got work in the morning."

Clarke nodded, still too sleepy to talk. 

Lexa stood, wiped her eyes and led Anya to the door.

"Everything alright with you two," Anya had to ask. 

"Yea," Lexa smiled. I'll tell you all about it tomorrow. You're going to be late. 

"Sure. Okay, bye Alex, my cabs here, I'll text you when I reach." She hugged Lexa and went on her way. 

When Lexa turned back to the living room, she found Clarke fast asleep sitting on the couch. She knelt down in front of her, between Clarke's feet, took her hands in hers, "Clarke, come on, let's get you into bed. Clarke, wake up."

When Clarke opened her eyes, she was still a little dazed, but smiled when she saw Lexa between her legs "The last time you were between my legs, I got breakfast the next morning, you better not disappoint." Lexa took a moment to realise this was indeed a very awake Clarke talking. She nodded, stood, pulled Clarke up and they both made their way upstairs. 

"You can sleep in my bed tonight, Clarke, it's bigger than yours and I'm sure Ravens splayed out, I'll take the couch." Lexa offered.

"Don't be a foolish Lex, I'll take you up on your offer only if you sleep with me." Lexa stopped Clarke to look into her eyes just to be sure there wasn't any hesitance there. 

"Okay," Lexa said. 

"Lemme just grab my pyjamas from my room. I'll be right there."

Lexa got into her own room and took her clothes to the bathroom, to wash-up brush, and change. 

When Clarke came back, she was already in a long tee and underwear. 

"Which side of the bed do you usually sleep on?" Clarke asked. 

"The left," Lexa answered, "but if that's your side, I could switch for a night." 

"but it's not gonna be just one night, is it?" Clarke mused and that earned a smile from Lexa, "no it isn't," Lexa responded. 

"Don't worry, the right has always been my side," Clarke assured her.

With that, they both got into bed. Without a word, Clarke snuggled in closer to Lexa, kissed her neck once and whispered "Goodnight Lex". Lexa could smell the mint close to her, Clarke had brushed too. 

"Goodnight, Clarke," Lexa said 

"One last thing," Clarke said and propped her head up. "It was different for me too. From the time I saw you at the bar, it just felt like something more. I was coming back to the bar that day. Not just with my first name. But with some hope that you might wanna go out with me sometime". Clarke nuzzled her nose closer to Lexa's neck. Lexa thought for one moment and then broke the silence. 

"Clarke, can I take you on a date sometime this week?" Lexa asked. 

"Nah, I see you too much now that we're flatmates," Clarke said with a straight face.

Lexa moved out of the hold to look at Clarke directly. Clarke looked up at her and laughed hard. "Go to sleep babe, of course, you can take me out sometime this week. I'd love that." 

Lexa was glad, but something else caught her attention, a word. "Babe," She whispered and then kissed Clarke's head. 

Clarke understood.

They fell asleep like that, grateful that they were finally on the same page, and hopeful that they could be more. 


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17:**

When Clarke opened her eyes the next morning, she took a moment to realise where she was. And then realising she had a hand around her waist and a body pressed behind her back, she smiled to herself. She tried not to wake Lexa, but she needed to know the time. She had to be at work by 9 AM today. She reached out to her phone on the nightstand and that woke Lexa. 

“Sorry, just needed to check the time,” Clarke said. Lexa turned on her back to rub her eyes and Clarke immediately missed the warmth that Lexa brought her body.

“What time is it?” Lexa asked. “It’s only 7,” Clarke turned her face to look at Lexa. The girl was still trying to wake up. 

“Come back," Clarke pulled Lexa’s arm back around her, "we can sleep a little more, I have another 30-40 mins,” 

Lexa nuzzled her nose into the back of Clarke’s neck and took a deep breath in. “Hmmm.”

Clarke knew she couldn't fall back asleep. She was too aware of Lexa being so close to her.   
When Lexa started peppering kisses on Clarke’s neck, Clarke knew Lexa wasn’t going back to sleep either.

“Is this okay?” Lexa whispered close to Clarke’s ear. 

Goosebumps found home on Clarke’s skin. “Yea” she replied, smiling to herself. Lexa slipped her hand under Clarke’s shirt and held her bare skin at her waist and then her stomach. Clarke sighed. She turned around to face Lexa and looked into her sleepy green eyes. Lexa smiled at her. “Kiss me,” Clarke said. 

Lexa leaned in, but instead of kissing Clarke’s mouth. She pushed Clarke on her back and began kissing her neck. 

Clarke chuckled, “You’re obsessed with my body, I noticed you yesterday too, you couldn't keep your eyes off me.”

Lexa stopped her ministrations and looked up at Clarke, “I’m obsessed with you.” And then she bent down and captured her lips between hers. This time Clarke sought entry with her tongue by swiping it against Lexa’s lower lip. So when Lexa parted her lips for her, Clarke swooped in. 

Lexa moaned into the kiss. Clarke was beginning to take the lead. She moved and pushed Lexa a little on her back. She kept one hand on Lexa’s face and the other on her chest. Lexa kept her hands at Clarke’s waist, not knowing if Clarke was going to get on top of her yet or not. Lexa was in no hurry, honestly, now that she knew Clarke was in. 

Clarke was the first to break the kiss. 

“I’ve never kissed someone so good at it. How are you so good?” Clarke asked, looking back and forth between both of Lexa’s eyes. Too close to be looking at them both at the same time. 

Lexa laughed and Clarke felt the vibrations in her chest with her almost on top of Lexa. “It’s probably just you,” Lexa replied. 

Clarke was too distracted to respond to that. “Your eyes, how many shades of green do they go?”

Lexa was too distracted with Clarke's body halfway a-top her own to care to respond. She pulled Clarke’s lips back to hers and shuffled Clarke on top of her. Clarke got her drift and straddled her. 

“Hmmmm,” Clarke moaned when she allowed her hips to rest on Lexa’s body. She bent down and kissed Lexa’s neck, soft kisses first, then nibbles, she sucked at her pulse point and that had Lexa squirm a little. 

Clarke stopped and looked back into her eyes. “I have to get ready for work now. But I promise we can get to this tonight maybe? What time do you get back from the bar today?”

Lexa smiled before she could answer. Clarke bent down again to kiss her neck. She closed her eyes and spoke, “I shouldn't be late today, it’s a Monday, so maybe 10 PM?” 

Between kisses along Lexa’s jaw, Clarke spoke, “Hmmm, can I cook us dinner then?”

Lexa’s eyes opened at that. She tugged at Clarke to look at her. “Uh, No,” Lexa said very matter of factly, a stark difference from the soft and tender bedroom voice she had going so far. “I said I would take you on a date, I have an off from work tomorrow, we can go out. If you cook for us this evening, then that would be you setting up a date. And you shouldn’t be cooking on our first date.”

Clarke sat up, resting her hands on her thighs, still very much straddling the brunette, “Alexandria Woods, I’m your flatmate first and then the girl you’re pursuing. Even though we went about it the other way around. So if I want to cook us dinner then I will cook us dinner, whether you want to call it a date or not.” Clarke said rather dramatically, with a dash of annoyance. 

Lexa rolled her eyes, “Fine, flatmate. But it’s not a date. The first date’s tomorrow and I'm taking you out.” 

“Fine,” Clarke said and shrugged. And with that, she bent down, kissed Lexa’s cheek and got off her, now too awake to laze around and also super aware of the time. 

“Where are you going?” Lexa asked. 

“To get ready to leave for the gallery,” Clarke said matter of factly. 

Lexa jumped out of bed as quick as she could and raced Clarke to the door. She stood right in the middle of the doorway blocking Clarke’s way. “You go get ready, I'll have breakfast whipped up. Pancakes work for you?”

Clarke smirked recalling her conversation with Lincoln, “Pancakes are great, glad to know breakfast wasn’t a one-time thing with you,” Clarke said as she ran her thumb past Lexa’s lips, keeping her eyes on them. 

“Can’t disappoint,” Lexa replied smugly. Clarke looked into her eyes for a moment, revelling in this air about them, this energy she was intensely feeling. She blinked to get out of it. 

“Well my room’s that way, so if I have to get ready, you need to let me pass,” she leaned into Lexa’s ear and whispered, “Commander.”

Lexa stiffened. That word meant nothing but a nickname between her Lincoln and Anya. But right now, right here, coming from Clarke, in that voice, it made the hair on her skin rise. She blinked and moved a little so Clarke could get by. “Yea, uh….sorry, I’ll go brush and then uh.. the … the um… pancakes… I’ll get the pancakes started.”

Clarke winked and left for her own room. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boy, is this gonna get fun! 
> 
> Shoutout to clexa_is_endgame47 for pushing me to start writing. Go check out her work!
> 
> Also, leave a comment with your thoughts ;)


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm tipsy AF today cause my friends just came by and kidnapped me in their car and took me to a bar to drink. I thought of updating these chapters tomorrow but I figured I owed ya'll a steady time period between chapters, so I had to update today. I regret nothing, except for all the errors you might spot in this update ;) (You're supposed to edit sober and write drunk, not the other way around, but who listens anyway) Have fun!

**Chapter 18:**

When she got into her own room, Raven was sitting on her bed with her head in her hands. “Rae, you can sleep for a while longer, I’m only up cause I have to get to work, you should call in sick if you aren't feeling too well.” 

“No no, I have a meeting later this afternoon, I guess I just need to nurse this hangover for now. Have an Aspirin?” Raven asked. 

Clarke opened the drawer in her nightstand and gave it to her. 

“God, my head hurts so bad, how much did you guys let me drink last night! The last thing I remember is Anya helping me take my bra off. God, her hands were so soft! Wait, where did you sleep?” 

And before Clarke could answer any of those questions, it dawned on Raven. Her jaw dropped. “You slept with Lexa again, didn't you?” 

“Uh, hold on a sec,” Clarke said, handing Raven the tablet and a glass of water. “Firstly, that’s all we did, sleep. Yea, we made out a little. And it’s enough for now. Secondly, she’s asked me on a date tomorrow. So let's see how that goes. And yes, Anya helped you upstairs and tucked you in, you should thank her.”

“Woah, so you guys didn’t do it again?” Raven had to ask.

“No Raven, we’re roommates now, who’s in a hurry?” Clarke responded. 

Raven rolled her eyes and mumbled under her breath. “Oh, we’ll see about that.” 

“Anyway, Lexa’s handling breakfast, I’m going in for a shower, you should rest some more or you’ll have a horrible day today,” Clarke said.

“Yea yea, I’ll go in after you. Don’t be long.” Raven said and then laid back in bed. 

When Clarke was done getting ready, she stepped downstairs and found Lexa busy in the kitchen. Lexa realised Clarke’s presence with that wisp of shampoo that ran her way, in spite of the smell of pancakes on the stove. She turned to see her. 

“Hi,” Lexa said, “Have a seat.” She watched as Clarke sat at the island counter. She platted a set of pancakes, topped them with some berries, and maple syrup and then placed it in front of Clarke. Clarke noticed Lexa had freshened up already. That was quick, she thought. 

“Wow, this is nice,” Clarke said, her eyes lit up at the heavy serving. “Where’s yours?”

“Yea, I’ll be with you in a minute,” She turned around and served herself a plate too and then sat beside Clarke. They dug in. 

“These are amazing, Lex” Clarke loved it. "If you’ve made some more, I'm gonna take some with me for a second breakfast at the gallery." Lexa laughed, she was definitely gonna pack some for Clarke. 

“I hope you have some made for Raven, Octavia and Lincoln.” Clarke continued. 

“Yea yea, Lincoln is a big eater, so I made sure I mixed enough batter.” And with that Lexa finished her breakfast and then went back to the stove to make some more. 

Clarke looked at her watch, she was getting late, but didn't wanna just leave Lexa like that, especially since she made her breakfast. So she caught on to the last topic. 

“Ahhmmm, my seven minutes with Lincoln was nice,” she offered. 

“Yea?” Lexa probed. 

“Yea, he guessed something was going on between you and me,” Clarke went on. “He said breakfast is the tell-sign.” Now Clarke was right beside Lexa, facing away from the counter though, but leaning against it. 

“Huh?” Lexa asked? Not looking at Clarke directly, even though Clarke was leaning against the countertop she was working at. 

“He said you make breakfast for only the ones you really wanna keep,” Clarke said, blushing a little. 

At that Lexa looked up and smiled at her. “Well I already told you I want to try this with you, breakfast was just a bonus.” 

Clarke placed her hand on Lexa’s face so she didn’t turn her attention back to the pancake batter again, “well then this is a return bonus,” Clarke said, and latched her lips onto Lexa’s causing Lexa to let go of the pancake mix and step in front of Clarke. Kissing her even deeper. She turned the stove off and placed both her hands around Clarke's waist and Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa’s neck. They kissed passionately, changing the angle of their kiss every now and then. Clarke loved the way Lexa kissed her. It was like second nature. It felt easy, it felt simple, and at the same time, it felt like fireworks, crashing waves, jumping off a cliff. 

What was a good 4 minutes felt like 4 seconds to them when they heard a sound interrupt them. 

“Ahem,” Raven fake coughed behind the island counter. Lexa immediately moved aside from Clarke’s embrace and went back to the stove. Clarke gave Raven a death glare. 

“So, do I not get breakfast for interrupting you two?” Raven asked, now looking fresher than before. “Well you sure as hell don’t deserve it,” Clarke responded and Lexa chuckled.

“Okay, I’m off, I’ll be back by five or so.” Clarke announced to no one in particular, but then slid up to Lexa’s side, kissed her on the cheek, “And I’m making us dinner, so don’t eat at the bar,” she said to Lexa particularly. 

“Oh, a date then?” Raven asked. 

“It’s not a date,” Lexa turned back and glared at Raven. 

“Woah okay, don't get your knickers in a knot,” Raven said. 

When Clarke passed Raven, she leaned in and whispered to her, “It’s a date, but she doesn't need to know.”

Lexa realised Clarke had not left yet and turned back to find Raven and her giggling at something. 

“Bye,” Clarke called and left.

Raven and Lexa made some small talk to fill the silence. Until Raven moved on to more serious things. 

“So hey, if you’re seeing Clarke now, you must know. I’m her best friend, so if you hurt her, you answer to me.”

“Oh the talk,” Lexa understood. 

“It’s not just the talk, girl. I walk the talk. And if you wanna know what I mean, look for the last guy Clarke dated. He hurt her and then I hurt him and you don’t wanna know the details.” Raven said more stoically.

Lexa nodded, she realised she didn't know anything about Clarke’s previous relationships yet. Maybe that’s something they could talk about soon. “Don’t worry Raven. I wouldn't intentionally hurt her. If I do it unintentionally, can I count on you to let me know? I imagine she would turn to you for everything.” Lexa asked.

Raven was comforted with the thought that Lexa knew she couldn't take Raven’s place in Clarke’s life. “You’re damn right she’d turn to me.” Then Raven smiled. Knowing Lexa was still trying, this was in fact only the first day of their relationship. It’s possible that the two won’t hit it off at all, though Raven wasn't counting on that at all. She too had noticed the way Clarke lit up whenever Lexa entered the room the evening before. She knew Clarke too well to know that Clarke wanted this. 


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, keep them comments coming! I read them again and again in the middle of my workday just cause they really make my day :) thank you, guys :)

**Chapter 19:**

Raven’s thoughts were interrupted. When she heard footsteps. “We’re back Bitches!” Octavia screamed, with Lincoln in tow. 

Lexa warmed up to the thought that now she was one of them, the gang, Octavia’s “bitches”. The thought made her giggle. Octavia and Lincoln seemed to have freshened up already, they probably intended to hit the road soon after breakfast. 

Octavia sat beside Raven and they began discussing something on their own. Lincoln volunteered to help Lexa with breakfast. 

“Where’s Clarke?” he asked. 

“She’s left for work,” Lexa said, and then added, “Don't worry, I made her breakfast and then she took some along too,” she added.

Lincoln smiled at that, “You haven't changed one bit.” 

“It's good to have you around, Linc. Come over more often, will ya? Also, Octavia is a doll, you really scored.” Lexa remarked. 

“Hey, hands-off, she’s mine.” he joked, “Yea, she’s lovely. She had a lot of great things to say about you too after last evening, so now I really need to get her away from you as quickly as possible.”

“Oh shut up, you know my eyes and heart are elsewhere,” Lexa assured. Even though she knew she didn't need to. 

“I know, I know. Octavia asked me a lot about you, she just wanted to know Clarke was not gonna get hurt.” Lincoln said.

“Dayum, I really need to know what this is about, even Raven got really protective of her,” Lexa said. 

Lincoln looked at her, “Well, I'd get protective about you too, you know how it is, they’re like sisters, the three of them, they look out for each other. Clarke may have had a bad break up before this.”

Lexa nodded. She didn't wanna hurt Clarke. She needed to make sure they both were always on the same page. She swore to herself, at that moment, to do whatever she could to make sure of that. 

The four of them ate to their heart's content and Lincoln visibly worried more when Octavia moaned aloud after tasting the pancakes that Lexa whipped up. Lexa smugly smiled at a very tense Lincoln. It didn't take him long to suggest they hit the road. Lexa gave him a big bear hug before they did their Commander-Warrior handshake again. Octavia hugged Lexa goodbye.

Raven hugged Lexa goodbye too, and that was more than what Lexa was expecting. But right before she shut the door, Raven turned around and asked for Anya’s number. She said she wanted to thank Anya for tucking her in last night and also for the great conversations they had through the party. 

Lexa said she would send it to her and with that bid them goodbye. Lincoln and Octavia offered to drop Raven home but Raven insisted she ride back, she was feeling better now anyway. 

When Lexa walked back into the room, she finally had a chance to look at her phone.

 **Anya:** Hey, I reached. Hope you did too *wink wink*

Lexa rolled her eyes and texted back.

 **Lexa:** Good to know. Linc, Octavia and Raven just left. And no, we didn’t have sex. We made out, though, and then slept together. Raven asked for your number. 

**Anya:** Oh, yea, please give it to her. 

And another text:

 **Clarke:** Niylah dropped in, said to say hello to you, would it be too much if I told her she was almost the reason I never had a chance with you?

 **Lexa:** Hahahaha, you could, she’ll know she never had a chance with you :P at least not with me in the same room. 

And another text, which had just come in:

 **Octavia:** It was nice finally meeting some of Lincoln’s family. Now you’re family to me too. Also, thanks for the pancakes, I love how possessive he gets when he feels like he’s got competition in the room. I owe you. <3

Lexa laughed out loud at that one and texted back.

 **Lexa:** He’s whipped. You can count on him trying to make you moan with his own recipe of pancakes. 

**Octavia:** oh I’ll moan alright, just not with pancakes. ;) See ya soon! 


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20:**

Lexa spent the rest of her day tidying up the place. She watered the plants, drained the pool, fed Aden and then headed to her room to rest a bit before she had to leave for the bar. She unlocked her phone to find another message from Clarke. 

**Clarke:** What would you like to eat, tonight?

Lexa hesitated to send the message she typed. But then figured she could have some fun

 **Lexa:** You.

 **Clarke:** I walked right into that one, didn't I?

 **Lexa:** Walk right into my door right now and you’ll know for sure ;)

 **Clarke:** Girl, you’re starving! I’m serious though, what can I make for you?

 **Lexa:** For us you mean, flatmates… Anything Clarke, it doesn't matter. 

**Clarke:** Fine, I’ll surprise you. Are you allergic to anything?

 **Lexa:** No, not that I know of. 

**Clarke:** Great. Honestly, I just texted you cause I was thinking about you. I would have made what I wanted anyway :P

 **Lexa:** What a girl! I was thinking about you too. 

**Clarke:** Don’t be late, tonight.

 **Lexa:** I won’t.

With that, Clarke went offline and Lexa locked her phone. She sunk deeper into her pillows and thought about those blue eyes that were engraved into her memory. 

***

When Lexa walked into the house that night, the place was quiet except for the sound of vessels clinking and drawers being shut. “Clarke?” she called. 

Lexa hung her bag up near the door and took her coat off. She left her bike keys in the bowl by the door and walked in.  
  
She was met with the sight of Clarke, busy at the kitchen counter, earphones on, moving to a beat, while she was preparing something. 

Lexa watched for a bit and then realised she was being creepy again. So she stepped forward and decided to surprise Clarke. She was in fact earlier than expected. 

Very slowly, she crept up behind Clarke and got her hands ready to slip around the sides of Clarke’s waist. She was just about to step in closer when Clarke turned around with an empty pan in her hand and almost whacked Lexa with it but screamed and stopped short when Lexa raised her hands in defence and stepped back.

Clarke pulled out her ear chords, “WHAT the actual fuck! Lexa, you scared me!” 

Lexas eyes were wide, “Clarke, sorry, I was trying to surprise you but you scared me instead with that pan, can we put it down please?” Lexa swiftly took the pan from Clarke’s hand and placed it back on the counter. “Now can I try again, and maybe this time, don’t come at me with something?” Clarke, still recovering from the scare, rolled her eyes but turned back around anyway, just to entertain Lexa and see what she would have done if she hadn't spun around in the first place. 

Clarke was trying to get her heart to stop racing from that little scare, but Lexa’s presence behind her wasn't helping. Lexa slowly slid her palms onto Clarke’s waist and held her. Then she pressed her front to Clarke’s back and whispered in Clarke’s right ear, “Hi, I’m gonna help you calm down if this is okay with you.” Clarke nodded, both of her hands still on the kitchen counter. 

“Good. Your heart is racing and you’re breathing really hard. Breath with me, can you feel me taking deep breaths?” Clarke closed her eyes and breathed with Lexa, she could feel Lexa’s chest rise and fall behind her, she could feel her breath on the back of her neck. 

“Great, now lean your head back a little, let go,” Lexa suggested and Clarke did just that. She allowed her head to move back a little onto Lexa's shoulder and even let go of the kitchen counter to hold on to Lexa’s hands on her waist. ‘God, Lexa had a way with her’ she thought. 

Lexa kissed the spot adjoining Clarke’s neck and shoulder and then continued to kiss along her shoulder. She then came back up and kissed her neck until she met Clarke’s pulse point. She kissed softly and whispered. “You smell good. And now I’m really hungry.” Clarke felt the smile of mischief in Lexa’s next kiss on her neck and turned her face her a bit, to see it for herself. Lexa may have said it as two different sentences but both of them knew what Lexa was implying. 

Clarke turned in Lexa’s embrace. “Hi,” Clarke said and then leaned in to kiss the brunette.   
“Hmmm, tastes great” Lexa commented. And Clarke hit her on her shoulder. “Go freshen up and come back downstairs, you’re early and dinner's not ready yet.” Lexa nodded, “But can I help you with something? Since I’m here early, you don't have to make it on your own,” Lexa offered. 

“Oh, I have a lot of ideas of how you can help me, Lex, just not in this case. Go, let me do this.” Clarke pecked Lexa on the lips and then sent her upstairs. 

Lexa decided to take a shower again. And put on something comfortable. When she came back downstairs, the room was dark and there were just two candles that lit up the island counter. 

“Clarke, what are you doing?”

Clarke came up to Lexa, grabbed both her hands and pulled her to the barstool at the kitchen counter. “It’s nothing, I just wanted to say thanks, for breakfast and for this,” she pointed between them. 

“Did we need candles for that?” Lexa asked, teasingly. 

Clarke knew Lexa was being stubborn about not wanting this to be a date. But when she texted Anya this morning to ask what Lexa would like to eat, Anya specifically mentioned, the way to Lexa’s heart is through “candles first and then through food.”

“No, but I thought they’d add a nice touch to the evening,” Clarke said. Clarke was not wrong, Lexa thought; if the warm glow on Clarke’s face was anything to go by.

Lexa nodded. 

“Let’s eat?” Lexa asked. And that’s how their evening started. They sat beside each other, eating dinner. Lexa loved the spaghetti and meatballs Clarke had cooked up. They decided to play 21 questions and they took full advantage of it. Lexa asked about Clarkes family and she said her mom was back home and her dad passed away when she was still schooling, with a heart attack. Lexa held her hand when she spoke of her dad, and she listened intently. Clarke appreciated the questions Lexa asked, she genuinely wanted to know about her and her family. 

Lexa told Clarke about how her dad left them when she was just born so she only ever knew her mom. And then two years ago her mom passed away and left the house in her name, being the only child of course. Clarke asked Lexa about “The Commander,” and Lexa laughed. She told her it was a game they played as kids where Lexa was Anya’s second, which was basically Anya’s subordinate. She was training to one day become the commander when Anya retired the role. And as the game progressed, Lexa did become the ruler of the 13 clans and the people called her Heda which was Commander in their imaginary language. Anya, of course, grew tired of the game as she grew older, but Lincoln being young and impressionable as Lexa, continued to call her Heda and she continued to call him Warrior.

Clarke thought that was cute. The term Commander was very Lexa, she didn't know why it fits so well, she just knew it did. She couldn't wait to get to know Lexa better. She was really beginning to feel like she was in high school again. 

They shared stories about when they were kids and then they spoke about their jobs and what they were looking to do ahead of them. Both of them lost track of time until Clarke yawned. They were done with 21 questions each so they figured they should head to bed. When they began to do the dishes though. Lexa remembered a question she still needed to ask Clarke. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, guys, I was wondering if you'd be interested in reading a one-shot about 'The Griffin Experience'. From their first night together. Let me know in comments, yea?


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21:**

“Clarke, do you mind one more question?” Lexa asked. 

“Yea, go for it, babe,” Clare responded. Lexa smiled. The word could not grow old with her. 

“I mean I get it if you don't wanna talk about it, but what was your previous relationship like?” Lexa asked.

There was a pause before Clarke responded. “Lexa, there's nothing right now that I don't wanna talk with you about. My previous relationship was with a guy named Finn. He was a close friend of Raven’s, and Raven probably crushed on him too, but he fell for me. Raven had to move here soon after that so it was easy for her to get over him. But I fell madly in love with him. We went out for a while and I was so obsessed with him, but then one day I found out he was cheating on me with another girl. 

It was Raven who brought it to my notice. I was so madly in love with him that at first, I thought Raven was just jealous and was making stuff up. It was really fucked up of me. But I was blinded by the boy. Then one day I walked in on him fucking another girl on his kitchen counter. Right there in front of me, his pants were down, his fucking dick inside her, her head bent backwards. 

I cried all the way home. I never wanted to see him again. I was so ashamed I cut off contact with everyone, even Raven and Octavia. Since Raven had already moved, she got Octavia to go over to his place and give him a piece of her mind. She threw in a punch or two along with it. When Raven ran into him once, she gave him her share of slaps across his face too. I would have felt sorry for him, but it took too long to move on. I kept blaming myself, thinking I had done something wrong. It took me a while to see that he was the lousiest boyfriend anyone could have. 

I’ve always been bisexual, you know. But I lean towards women more since then, cause I feel like I can't trust a man after Finn. When I finally picked myself off the ground with a lot of help from Raven and Octavia, this job came my way and I knew I had to take it. I never saw him again and I don't wish to see his face ever again. He knows better not to try and get in touch with me, especially after I found him that deep in the shit he was doing behind my back.” Clarke paused then. But Lexa waited. She knew Clarke was not done.

They were still washing and drying the dishes. 

“I never dated any guy before him and I never dated anyone after him. I lost my virginity to him, he was so not worth it at the end of it. I had dated two girls before him but I was too nervous to have sex back then. So technically you were my first with a woman. I wish you were my first in general though. At least I wouldn't be carrying around this memory of him and my first time. 

Clarke smiled, but the sad kind. She immediately wiped off a tear that was threatening to fall. 

“I’m so sorry, Clarke, I didn't mean to bring up those memories. I see now why Raven and Octavia are so protective about you,” Lexa said, facing Clarke. 

Clarke chuckled at that, “Let me guess, they threatened you?” 

“Well not really, I mean I think Raven did, but Octavia just asked Lincoln about me,” Lexa said. 

“Yea, well, Raven is the one you gotta fear, she'll tear your eyes out if you make one wrong move,” Clarke said very seriously. “Octavia will help her bury the body,” she added. 

Alarmed that Clarke would even consider the need for that, Lexa went on, “Clarke, I would never,” Clarke cut her off, “I’m kidding Lexa, they’re like sisters to me, they feel the need to look out for me, it doesn't mean that they or I think you could hurt me, we’re all still getting to know each other, and from however much I’ve learned, you can’t hurt a bug.” With that Clarke kissed Lexa’s cheek and then yawned again. 

Lexa smiled, assured, and then nodded.

“Clarke, why don't you head upstairs, get ready for bed, I'll finish the dishes. You’ve done so much this evening, I’ll take care of this.”

“Oh no, Lex,”

“Please?” Lexa insisted. 

Clarke nodded. She had one foot on the staircase when she looked back and said, “can we sleep together again?”

“Of course,” Lexa responded immediately, she hadn't imagined it any other way. 

Lexa cleaned the kitchen and then made her way upstairs, Clarke was still not in her room so she decided to get ready for bed until Clarke came over. She brushed, changed and then got out of the bathroom to find Clarke making herself comfortable in her bed. 

“The door was open, so I just let myself in, I hope you don’t mind,” Clarke said. 

“How do you go from being so casual and flirty around me to being so formal?” Lexa asked with amusement in her tone as she too got under the covers. 

“Well, you should tell me, I picked it up from you,” Clarke said matter of factly. 

Lexa dramatically let her jaw drop and Clarke grabbed the opportunity to lean in and kiss her lips into a more serene expression. 

“Hmmm,” Lexa moaned, “minty.”

“You’re welcome,” Clarke said, proudly as she snuggled up to Lexa like the night before. They both lay in silence, enjoying each other’s presence, with Clarke drawing circles with her finger just below Lexa's neck. 


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22:**

“Lex?” Clarke whispered. 

“Hmm?” 

“Can I ask you about your past relationships? Lincoln was not willing to tell me, said it would be better if I asked you.”

“Hmmm, I don’t know Clarke, I feel like you, sharing what you did earlier, was heavy enough for you, maybe we should save it for another time?”

“Lex, I'm over Finn and I'm over what it did to me, if it’s not heavy on you, I'm open to hearing you out. Babe, I’d love to know what or who won your heart and then had the audacity to leave.” Clarke said this looking right into Lexa’s eyes, lifting herself from the crook of Lexa’s neck. 

Lexa nodded, her eyes already getting a little glassy. She nudged Clarke off her a little and sat up, Clarke followed her and sat crossed legs in front of her. Realising she may have overstepped, Clarke took Lexa’s hands in hers and scooted closer, so both their knees touched. “Lex, I didn’t mean to push. What I meant to say was - whenever you’re ready, I’m here, I wanna know about you as much as I can.”

“No Clarke, that’s not it, it’s just that I haven't spoken about it in so long. I don’t know where to start.” Lexa responded. Clarke didn't want to rush her, so she didn't say anything, but she made her presence felt by stroking her thumbs on the back of Lexa’s hand. 

“Clarke, I have only dated one girl before you. Her name was Costia. I hated her when I first met her in college. She’d get on my nerves.” Lexa chuckled at that, “And then one day our professor paired us up for a class project and she called me over to her place. That was the first time I actually allowed myself to get to know her. We became friends and then one day she told me she liked me and I got scared and ghosted her. 

I was scared cause I never imagined falling for a girl, let alone another girl falling for me. Boy, I always liked her and I kept those feelings under the rug, but I never thought she would like me back. And her telling me, that just made things real. 

To tell her I like her back, I would have to come out, not just to her, but to myself. I was still processing things. But she was a great friend and did not pressurise me to say anything back. Then one day a new girl joined our class and she was loud and proud about her sexuality, she was bi and she very easily fell for Costia. Costia was a doll, the world loved her. And when I noticed that Costia was easily becoming friends with her, I thought I'd lose her. So one day I decided to tell Costia that I liked her back. I saw her leaving our class with the new girl so I followed them to catch up with her. But just when I was about to catch up with them, the girl held Costia and kissed her. I shut my eyes immediately and turned. 

It was only a week later that Costia told me that if I waited even 3 seconds longer, I would have seen her slap the girl. And I had ignored Costia thar entire week, hurting her in the process. I didn't want to hurt her, but I was afraid I had lost her and I felt hurt myself, so I just withdrew from it all. That day I told Costia that I felt the same about her and she asked me out. We dated, but we kept it a secret until I was ready to tell my mom. Costia helped me gain some confidence and I finally came out to my mom. 

Then on we were invincible. I wore her on my sleeve, like a lucky charm. She was everything to me, we dated for 2.5 years and then she was gone.”


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23:**

“Gone?” Clarke asked

“Yea, just like that. A car crashed into the cab she was riding in. She died on the spot. She was on her way to my place. We were gonna watch a movie together.” 

“Oh God, Lex, I’m so sorry,” Clare looked at Lexa to see if she was open to a hug right now but Lexa continued. 

“Thank you, Clarke. It’s been a few years now. I miss her, but she doesn't come to mind too often. When she does, I send her my love and then I continue my day. There’s very little you can do after someone has gone, I remember a quote from somewhere,” she chuckled, I don’t know if it's from another life and another time, 'The dead are gone, but the living are hungry'. And with a year of therapy, I was finally able to come to terms with the loss. What I couldn't do, however, was get into another relationship. The loneliness that crept over me in the next year hit me like a truck. I wanted intimacy but couldn't do it. I could do it physically, but not emotionally. I craved affection and I got it, from multiple women. Who could resist this after all,” Lexa joked, signalling her face. Clarke smiled, a smile with pity. 

Lexa continued, “But no one and nothing made a difference to me, there were two girls that caught my interest in the last year, the sex was just alright but I really enjoyed their company. They were genuinely nice girls, so I decided I would ask them out the next morning at breakfast. But they upped and went the next morning, guess they were only looking for a one night stand. Might have had partners already for all I know. 

“Two girls, together?” Clarke asked. 

“No, gosh no” Lexa giggled, happy that Clarke could make light of the situation. “Dayum, that would have been fun, though” Lexa looked thoughtful. 

Clarke rolled her eyes. 

“Anyway,” Lexa continued, “Then one day, not too many days ago, I was at the bar and this girl I saw for the first time at the bar caught my attention,” Lexa was as serious as she was before this. Hoping not to give her plot away. Clarke was so attentive to her, Lexa felt bad for doing this, but couldn’t resist. 

“I watched her from the time she entered the bar. But she was absolutely oblivious to my presence. She was beautiful. She was with another girl so I thought maybe they were together but then a boy came around and kissed the other girl, so I thought I might have a chance, at least to take her home. I had given up on the idea of dating anyone by now. The way she laughed, the way she moved, she was just so… mesmerizing, I couldn't focus on anything behind the bar, I needed to get to her before the night ended.”

Clarke was losing her patience. “Well? Then what happened?” 

“Then I heard her voice, “I’m not desperate for sex” she screamed while talking to her friend, unfortunately for her, the next three tables heard it too. 

Clarke’s jaw dropped. But before she could say anything, Lexa continued, “I deflated when I heard that cause that meant I might not get to take her home that night, but then as fate had it, she looked at me and I was caught in a blue so bright, I couldn't believe my eyes.” 

Now Clarke just wanted to play along, she wanted to hear what Lexa had to say about her. She let Lexa continue. “Luck was on my side, she began flirting with me before I could even start, from across the dancefloor. Gosh, the way she moved her hips,” Lexa closed her eyes, taking herself back to that night “I was faltering behind the bar. But I couldn’t let my facade drop. So I remained composed on the outside, with a lot of trouble.” 

“And what were you feeling on the inside?” Clarke was too tempted to ask. 

“Heat. Even a bucket of water would not be able to douse it. Then she walked over and spoke to me and the rest is history.”

Clarke looked at Lexa with a fire in her eyes. But she stayed still. “As much as I want to kiss you to the floor right now, I’m not gonna be fooled by your tactics,” Clarke said.

“Excuse me?” Lexa looked on. A little confused, a little offended. 

“Costia, Lex,” you just bailed on that topic. “Clearly it left a very huge imprint on your life and yet you just diverted it to something else.” 

“Not just something else Clarke. To you,” She looked into Clarke’s eyes deeply and spoke, “I’ve not felt this way for a long time Clarke, I’ve made my peace with the past. Yes, Costia was a big part of my life, she still is. But death and grief hold us for a while and then lets us go. And if we hold on to it, we’re the ones who suffer, for the dead have long been gone. Now it’s just us. We feed the hungry, we feed the living.” 

Lexa said this like she’s been convincing herself about it for a while now. So Clarke didn't push. “Clarke, Costia was very important to me, but with a lot of time and effort, I've made peace with that part of my life. Now I’m ready to move ahead, I’ve been ready, I just never met someone I'd want to take that step with, and now you’re here and I want to try. You make me want to try.” 

Clarke smiled. 

“The morning I left, I knew I wanted to see you again. It wasn’t just the sex, it was the way I felt around you. You made me nervous when you were talking to me at the bar, when you sat on my bike, when I woke up with you in my arms, gosh, when I fucked you and you passed out.” Lexa giggled.

Clarke covered her face. “About that,”

Lexa pulled her hands back down to look at her again. “Sorry, let me just finish this, Clarke, you make me so nervous and yet so brave, I would do anything you ask me to, even if I was super scared.”

Clarke leaned in and kissed Lexa on her lips slowly. When she pulled back, she said “Lex, the next morning I saw the washcloths in the bin and I knew you had something to do with it. No one has been that tender, that caring or that considerate about whether I would be comfortable sleeping after they were done fucking me.” 

Lexa turned red. “Cause it wasn’t just a fuck, Clarke. It felt like more with you.”

Clarke reached out and pulled Lexa into an embrace. She kissed her again and then held her face close to hers, foreheads touching. 

“Come on, let’s get to sleep, you’ve got to get to work tomorrow morning,” Lexa said.

“It felt like more for me too,” Clarke said, in response to Lexa’s earlier statement. Lexa smiled. 

They both got under the covers again and Clarke scooted close to Lexa. Lexa kissed her head “Goodnight Clarke.:

Clarke kissed Lexa’s chest, ‘Goodnight, babe”

And with that….hold on, Clarke had an afterthought. 

“Hope you enjoyed our first date”

Lexa’s eyes opened wide “Clarke!” she warned. 

Clarke got away with a peck on Lexa’s lips.

And with that, the ladies finally called it a night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all for today's update. :) Thank you for reading, thank you for commenting, thank you for the kudos. It's really hard to fit any kind of angst between them, but for you guys, and for the sake of a good fiction, I'll make it happen. 
> 
> Is there anything else you wanna see between the two?
> 
> Just so you guys know, whenever I update chapters, I actually have way more ready than I actually upload. I hold onto them cause as I go ahead with the story, I often have to come back to some details to make sure it all matches. And when I'm sure nothing affects the flow of the story to come, I post some for you guys. 
> 
> So clearly I type too much, just as I talk too much when I'm tipsy ;) Really curious to know where you guys are from and how far around the world this fiction has reached! HMU? Ugh, I'm asking too much, aren't I?   
> Until the next update, though, love you guys :)


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey ya'll thanks for all the lovely comments! You guys make my day :) Here are some more chapters.

**Chapter 24:**

When Clarke opened her eyes in the morning, she found herself pretty much in the same position as the previous morning. Lexa was spooning her with one hand around her waist. Clarke smiled to herself and wondered at what part of the night they moved into this embrace. 

"Morning," Lexa whispered behind her.

"Morning, babe," Clarke said with her eyes still closed. 

"Did you sleep alright?" Lexa lifted herself on her elbow to look at Clarke who didn't care to open her eyes still. Clarke pulled Lexa's arm tighter around her. 

"Like a baby. What time is it?" Clarke responded.

"I don't know and I don't want to find out cause then you'll want to leave for work," Lexa said, matter of factly.

She wished she and Clarke could spend all day like this, in each other's company, but that was the 16-year-old in her thinking. She thought back to the night and how she told Clarke about Costia. She felt lucky in this moment, to have found someone to open up to, to share her thoughts with, she hoped with all her heart that mornings like these would last for as long as she could make them last. 

"Well, we all don't have the day off," Clarke responded lazily, breaking Lexa out of her thoughts. "Did you sleep well, though?" She asked. 

"Yea, I dreamed about you," Lexa said, kissing Clarke's neck, remembering that she did indeed have quite a dream of the blonde in bed with her. While parts of it were hazy, she remembered what she needed to. 

"Oh yeah?" Clarke opened her eyes but still didn't turn. "What was I doing?"

Lexa contemplated. How much of this should she really tell Clarke? She didn’t want to come across as desperate, but the truth is, they hadn't gotten physical since their first time, she wanted to make out with Clarke again, pleasure her again, watch her eyes go from bright blue to deeper shades of the colour.

She finally spoke, "Oh you weren’t doing much, I was doing something though," Lexa smirked and pulled Clarke tighter towards her. She saw an opportunity and decided to take it. If Clarke didn’t feel like it, she would tell her. 

But Clarke got her drift, "Care to demonstrate then?" 

"Hmmm, I could…" Lexa said, thinking. 

Clarke turned her face to line her lips up with Lexa's jaw, she kissed it softly, looked in her eyes and said, "Show me". 

At that Lexa looked down into her eyes, she slowly navigated the palm of her right hand, which was around Clarke, under Clarke's shirt. She dragged her fingers up Clarke's stomach, rib cage, up her sternum and finally palmed one of Clarke's breasts. “Is this okay?” Lexa whispered. 

"I'm liking this dream already, show me more," Clarke said, smiling and chuckling a little. She closed her eyes as Lexa's fondling grew more wanting.

Lexa was still behind Clarke and was content to do this from this angle. She allowed Clarke to take whatever position she was comfortable in. And for now, Clarke kept her back pressed to Lexa's front and was absolutely fine turning to look at Lexa whenever she felt like. 

Lexa bit down on Clarke's earlobe while her ministrations on Clarke's breasts were now focused on her nipples. Picking at them, pinching them lightly, slowly, small pulls. Clarke took a sharp breath in and bit down on her lip. As much as Clarke did not want to interrupt what they were doing, she had to mention, "Lex, what's the time, I shouldn’t get late for work." 

Lexa knew Clarke had to get to work, but it wasn’t that bright outside yet. They probably had another 30-40 minutes, she could be quick. In bed now, and on her bike later. 

"Shhhhh, I've got you, I'll make sure you reach," Lexa offered with a smirk. 

"You better," Clarke said and then gasped when Lexa latched her lips onto the side of Clarke's neck. Clarke was feeling too much. Lexa really knew how to drive her crazy with those fingers. Whether it was around her breasts or inside her. 

Lexa was testing the waters, applying pressure on her nipples increasingly to see what it does to Clarke and Clarke's tolerance was impressive. Clarke's face was scrunched up but she held on to Lexa's hand under her shirt, making sure Lexa didn't even dream of stopping what she was doing. 

"There's more," Lexa whispered, sending shivers down Clarke's spine. 

"Show me," Clarke managed to say between her breathing that was picking up. She was riled up, already. 

Lexa slipped her hand lower, dragging underneath Clarke's breast, then down to her belly and finally dragged her fingers along the waistband of Clarke's underwear. She then dragged it lower, lightly bringing her fingers over Clarke's clit, still over the underwear. She placed her hand between Clarke's thighs and pulled at her right thigh, spreading Clarke's knees away from each other, Clarke's legs were already folded by the knees. Lexa trailed her fingers down her right thigh and placed it on the wet splotch on Clarke's underwear. 

"Just like I dreamed," Lexa whispered and bit Clarke's earlobe again as she lightly pressed down on the spot. 

Clarke was panting now. She reached down for Lexa's hand and guided it into her underwear, "Show me, Lex" 

Still facing away from her, Clarke allowed herself to get lost in the feeling of Lexa's lips so close to her ears. And her hand inside her underwear. Lexa wasted no time dragging two fingers around Clarke's clit. It made Clarke writhe with not much space to move between Lexa's body behind her and Lexa's hand in front of her. 

Lexa dipped her fingers lower and splayed Clarke's wetness around her centre, readying Clarke. 

"You're so wet for me, Clarke." She whispered. 

Clarke's mouth opened to say something, but she couldn't. Not like this. Not when she was so easily approaching what she so desperately needed now. Clarke placed her right palm on the side of Lexa's face, pulling her lips to her neck. 

Lexa cupped Clarke's vagina and pulled towards her slightly. It made Clarke whimper. "Lex, inside, now."

"Baby girl, are you asking me to fuck you?" Lexa asked.

She teased Clarke's centre some more, moving her fingers around but not quite getting inside Clarke. Clarke was getting wetter by the second. 

Clarke's eyes opened at what Lexa said. She was more turned on than ever. Did Lexa want her to ask? to beg? Did Lexa just call her ‘baby girl’? She was uncovering a new side of Lexa and she couldn’t wait. Right now, she was willing to do anything to get the girls fingers inside her. She squirmed, trying to get her fingers closer to where she needed them.

Lexa realised what she just said, she’s never called Clarke anything but 'Clarke' so far. And ‘baby girl’? She didn't know if they were there yet. 

Clarke noticed Lexa’s hesitance. "Lex, don't play, yes, I want you to fuck me, fuck me, please." The last three words almost didn't make it out of her lips as Lexa thrust both fingers into Clarke, feeling absolutely no resistance. Clarke had spread her legs out perfectly, giving Lexa a beautiful angle.

Clarke whimpered at the action. She moved her hips upwards to find her friction. But Lexa began her thrusts. 

"You're so beautiful Clarke," Lexa whispered close to Clarke's ear while simultaneously thrusting in and out. "I love the way you feel around my fingers, gosh I could get lost in you." 

At that Clarke turned to face her, panting, Lexa moved a little to allow Clarke to lie on her back. Lexa continued to move in and out. Finding a rhythm with Clarke's impatient hips. With Clarke now on her back, Lexa lifted herself up a little higher, still supporting herself on one hand. She thrust better at this angle, she kept her eyes on Clarke's face, looking for any signs of discomfort. 

"Lex, fuck. Faster, you're killing me here," Clarke whimpered. 

And when Lexa did what she asked, Clarke grew louder, "Uh, yea, yea, just like that." 

Lexa watched the girl below her. Her T-shirt had already ridden up quite a bit. Lexa bit down on it where she noticed Clarke's nipple through it. 

"Ahh, Lex, don't stop," Clarke said. She lifted her shirt higher, exposing her breasts. Lexa wasted no time in latching her lips around Clarke's right nipple. Clarke arched her back upwards. She was on the brink of coming. Lexa bit down on her nipple and at the same time swiped her thumb at Clarke's clit. Clarke wrapped her fingers in the brunette's locks, keeping Lexa at her breasts. Clarke kept proving to be the Goddess Lexa always imagined her to be, since their first night. 

Lexa could feel Clarke tightening around her fingers. She knew she was close, so she looked up at Clarke. When Clarke realised Lexa has released her nipple, she looked down at her, when at the same time Lexa thrust and then curled her fingers and applied some pressure on Clarke's Clit, "Come for me, Clarke.'' Clarke froze, eyes still on Lexa. Her breath caught until wave after wave, her orgasm hit her like a truck "Fuck, Lexa," she whimpered and dug her nails into the back of Lexa's neck. She shut her eyes and arched back while Lexa peppered kisses down her sternum and under her breasts, then on her collarbone and neck as she slowly brought Clarke down from her high. 

When Clarke finally gained some composure, Lexa slowly took her fingers out and brought them up to her lips. Clarke watched as she dipped them between her lips and savoured Clarke's juices. Clarke looked on, still catching her breath, "you're turning me on again, babe, you've gotta stop."

Lexa released her fingers with a last lick and said, "hmm, tastes just like I dreamed." Clarke pulled her in for a searing kiss, she crashed her lips into Lexa's and immediately tasted herself on them. 

Clarke was still coming down from her high, but these kisses, they were the death of her. Lexa was so good with her, she knew just how to work Clarke up and then bring her down. The kiss was beginning to get more heated. 

Lexa almost climbed onto Clarke when she stopped herself and got off the bed, with a lot of difficulty. 

"Come on, you're gonna be late for work," Lexa said. 

Clarke looked at her unbelievingly and lifted herself up on her elbows. "No, you do not get to do that, come back here this instant Alexandria Woods," Clarke said with a fierceness in her eyes. 

"As much as I want to, Clarke, you need to get to work, and then make it back in time for our date tonight. If you get in late, you're gonna have to work late and we can't do that because we have reservations." Lexa said, now standing beside the bed. "Come on, go shower, I'll get breakfast prepped and then I'm dropping you to work.” 

“Excuse me? You...but...you don't...fuck my life!" Clarke didn't even know where to begin refuting Lexa on everything she just said. She resigned to the pillow, knowing there was no arguing her way out of this plan unless she wanted to get even later. "Fine, but tonight, I'm devouring you," Clarke said, gesturing at Lexa's entire being.   
  
Lexa folded her arms across her chest in victory and smiled smugly. 

"Don't look at me that way. We'll see who'll have the last laugh tonight… on our second date," Clarke smirked mischievously. 

Lexa's eyes widened and her jaw dropped. "That's it, you can make it to work, yourself," she turned to leave. But when she didn't hear Clarke say anything back, she turned to look and saw Clarke sitting up in bed and pouting at her. She rolled her eyes, "Hurry up, Griffin!" 


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

When Lexa pulled up outside Clarke's gallery, Clarke got off and Lexa took her helmet off. Clarke kissed her on the cheek "Thanks for dropping me off, and for this morning, I'll make it up to you tonight." 

Lexa reddened, it was beyond Clarke how the brunette could get so shy and yet do the things she did to her this morning. Gosh, she made her beg. She was gonna talk to her about that sometime. 

"It's been taken care of," Lexa assured, smugly, confidence now coming to the surface. 

"When?" Clarke asked, thoroughly confused at when Lexa could have possibly gotten off between their rush to leave this morning. 

"Clarke, you're late, go now, and come home soon." Lexa avoided the question. She put her helmet back on. 

When she rode back home, she smiled to herself thinking about how quickly she came while showering, just thinking of the way Clarke had come undone this morning. She wondered if Clarke noticed her calling her by a different name, she did. Clarke was unleashing a side of her she thought was buried along with Costia. She’d have to be more careful. She was hoping they both were still on the same page. 

*** 

Lexa spent the rest of the day doing chores around the house, playing with Aden and then finally she sat down with a book to read. She laid down on the couch in the living room and Aden snuggled up beside her. She decided to check her phone first and saw that she had a bunch of texts she needed to reply to. 

Anya texted her, saying Raven got in touch and thanked her. She also said that she and Raven have been talking and that she thought Raven was a real riot. 

Lincoln texted her saying Octavia couldn't stop talking about her and that he's never bringing her over again. 

Octavia texted her inviting her over any time Lexa would be near their place. 

And finally, there was a text from Clarke:

 **Clarke:** Looking forward to our second date ;) 

Lexa rolled her eyes and then replied. 

**Lexa:** Get over it! See you in a bit :* 

Lexa responded to everyone else's message and then finally began reading. Tired from the day's work, she slipped into a deep slumber within no time. 

*** 

When Clarke got in that evening, she was met with the sight of Lexa sleeping on the couch. She tip-toed her way over, after taking off her coat and dropping her bag at the door. 

She leaned over at the back of the sofa, just watching Lexa sleep. She decided to worry her a little instead of just waking her the conventional way. Aden had jumped off the sofa as soon as Clarke had entered the room. Guess he figured Lexa had company now. 

Clarke very gently began to swipe her finger down Lexa's ear. Lexa stirred a little and Clarke pulled her hand back. She waited a moment and tried again. This time she swiped her fingers down Lexa's jaw. 

"Aden, go away '' Lexa said and swished her hand in the air as if she were shooing a fly. Clarke was amused. Should she have waxed? Or was this the most adorable sight? 

The third time, she ran her fingers across Lexa's lips. "Ouch, arggg Lexa!!! What was that! Do you bite Aden all the time?" Clarke squealed, pulling her hand to herself after Lexa, who was supposedly asleep, caught Clarke's finger between her teeth. 

Lexa sat up and looked at Clarke. "Nah, Adens not my type," she said, now smugly looking at Clarke. 

"I heard you get in, thought I'd have some fun by pretending to be asleep, but clearly you were having a ball trying to get a reaction outta me," Lexa said. Now getting up to come by Clarke's side. 

She took Clarke's finger, kissed it and asked "all better?"

"Nah, I'll decide after our date." Clarke mused. 

"Speaking of which, we're gonna be late, go freshen up, I'll pick you up in 15?" Lexa asked.

Clarke, still unnecessarily nursing her finger, said "Sure"

***  
  


When Clarke and Lexa walked into Lexa’s bar, ‘The Grounders’, Clarke was not surprised to see it bustling with people even though it was a weekday. Lexa took Clarke’s hand and led her up a staircase behind the bar. Clarke had never noticed it before, but she went along. 

Lexa was wearing a dark grey sweatshirt and a cream pair of slacks. She had on a dainty gold chain around her neck that added a dash of elegance to the ensemble. Clarke was dressed in a maroon cold shoulder top that puffed at the sleeves but had straps holding it up. That and black jeans. 

What met Clarke at the top of the staircase blew her mind. “Okay, we can call this our first date,” she said, looking at the fairy lights that went across the terrace. A table for two was set up in the middle and a cosy little floor sofa set up at the side. 

“After you,” Lexa gestured. 

Clarke walked in and looked closer at the arrangement. There were flowers on the table and a bottle of wine. Their seats at the table were not across from each other but just close enough for them to sit comfortably and still be able to reach out to the other if they needed to. 

Lexa pulled a chair for Clarke, like the gentlewoman she was, and then took a seat herself. 

“Wow, Lex, this is beautiful,” she said, looking around, still too caught up over how pretty the place was. 

“Yea, I had it done up very recently, the place was left vacant, with a lot of potential. Now we just give it out to some VIP guests.” Lexa replied, marvelling at her work, herself.

“And how many VIP’s do you bring up here yourself, if I may ask, Clarke said mischievously,” she knew what she wanted to hear. 

Lexa laughed, she reached out for Clarke’s hand and said, “I’ve never brought anyone up here. I told you, I didn't date after Costia, this is my first date ever since I lost her.” 

Noticing that the topic didn't lay heavily on her, Clarke decided to push, “Well maybe if you took them out first and then slept with them, it could have worked with someone.”

Lexa feigned offence, “Are you sure? Cause this,” she gestured between them, “seems to be going pretty fine.” 

Clarke laughed, “you just got lucky.”

Lexa lifted Clarke’s hand to her lips, “very lucky” she said, looking into Clarke’s eyes. 

A waiter came upstairs and greeted them both. They ordered dinner while he poured them both a glass of wine. They fell into conversation so easily. It was like they’ve been friends for ages, but just don't know enough about each other. So Clarke suggested another round of 21 questions. 

They ate, they spoke and then decided to move their night to the floor sofa. It allowed them a comfier backrest while also allowing them to lay their legs out and relax with a glass of wine. 

“Are you comfortable talking about Costia some more?” Clarke asked, she was curious. 

Lexa took a sip from her glass, “Yea, what do you wanna know?” Lexa replied. 

“It might sound a little weird, but what were your sex lives like?” Clarke asked. 

Lexa almost choked on her wine. But then gained her composure and answered. She grew a little red down her neck and was visibly shy, but Clarke smiled at her reassuringly, giving her an out if she didn't wanna talk about it. 

“Costia and I were...adventurous. She was shy at first you know and so was I. But after the first couple of times, we understood each other’s bodies, and we learned what we liked and what we didn't. And we just went from there. We trusted each other and that was important. I was too shy and naive to try out toys yet, but she said she wanted to, with me. But life played with us instead.” Lexa mused, with another sip from her glass.

“Were you a top or a bottom?” Clarke asked, mischievously, though a little unsure of her own question. they were talking about the girl's dead girlfriend.

Lexa looked at her suspiciously. “Clarke, is there something specific you want to know?”

But before Clarke could respond, Lexa said, “Top, always a top.”

Clarke looked at her unbelievingly, “No, you’re such a bottom, should I remind you about ‘The Clarke Experience’?” 

“Clarke, you and I have a long way to go, you can’t know the top that I am in such little time,” Lexa winked. 

Clarke wasn't going to argue, it was a fair point. They had only done it once, maybe twice if you counted this morning. She was open to learning. 

“This morning, you made me ask for it,” Clarke was about to go on when Lexa kept her drink down and took both of Clarke’s hands in hers.

“Clarke about that, I wanted to bring it up too, just didn't know the right moment. I’m sorry, I don't know where it came from. I used to be really dominant with Costia but after I lost her, I didn't share that trust with anyone else. This morning, seeing you so wound up, it slipped, I know I shouldn't have, I mean we should talk about these things first, so it was wrong of me.” 

Clarke was looking into sincerely apologetic eyes, “No, Lex, yea, of course, we should talk about it. But you didn't overstep today, I enjoyed it. And honestly, no one’s brought me even close to begging or asking for it before. So I was a little shocked at first, but you handled me so well. Yes, we should talk about it and yes, we could explore it some time, whenever we’re ready.”

Lexa smiled, relieved she didn't fuck things up. “Thanks, Clare, I know it takes a level of intimacy and trust and well, I want to be ‘there’ with you. I want you to trust me. I’d never want to make you uncomfortable or make you do something you don’t want to. Gosh, you just have to tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you if I can.” Lexa smiled at this revelation she made not only to Clarke but also to herself. 

Clarke swiped her thumbs at the back of Lexa’s hand reassuringly. “I trust you too, Lex. And I don't know what you did to earn it yet,” she laughed at her admission. “But let’s take things slow. We just got lucky by being roommates, you won't ever have to ask me to move in.” Clarke chuckled and Lexa laughed too. “I’m happy where we are physically. Yes, I want more. But I also want more of you, emotionally and mentally, so I’m glad we can have these conversations,” Clarke finished. 

Lexa leaned in and kissed Clarke’s cheek. “I’m glad too.” 

“And you’re right, we’re not in a hurry, I mean, we can keep our hands off each other if we liked,” Lexa shrugged very matter of factly. Clarke looked at her challengingly. 

***

They stumbled into the house, with their hands all over each other, after taking too long to open the door cause both of them fumbled with the keys, minds racing ahead of them of what the night had in store. They dropped their coats and Lexa placed her bike keys in the tray. 

“Your place or mine,” Lexa said, pinning Clarke to the wall beside the staircase they just ran up. 

“Mine,” Clarke said, wrapping her arms around Lexa’s neck and raising her legs to the brunette’s hips, confident that Lexa would hold her up. 

Holding her tight, Lexa led them to Clarke’s room. She hadn't been in here ever since Clarke moved. 


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

  
When Lexa kicked the door shut behind her. Clarke pushed her to the door to plant kisses down her neck. “Babe, give me one moment, I just need to use the bathroom, make yourself comfortable.” She kissed Lexa on the lips one last time and then left her leaning against the door. Lexa used the moment to catch her breath and then looked around at the space Clarke had made her own. 

There were paintings on the wall and there were pictures pinned to fair lights that were strung across her pinboard. Her desk had a picture of her parents and her bed looked unused. Lexa giggled at that, Clarke was in fact using Lexa’s bed more often. She saw a yoga mat rolled up by the bedside and saw some sketchbooks piled up in a corner. There was a bookmark in a book resting on the nightstand and an aspirin strip that lay beside it. Lexa sat herself down on the bed, catching her breath and her mind drifted back to the evening. 

While they both had gotten really cosy on the bar’s terrace, their conversations moved from sex to their likes and dislikes, to their childhoods, and then their parents. 

Lexa told Clarke that Raven and Anya were talking to each other. And Clarke said she already heard from Raven. They spoke about how they’d make a great pair but Clarke was yet to find out where Raven was since the breakup with Bellamy. 

Raven deals with her pain very differently and the last thing Clarke wanted was for Anya to be led on by Raven. Lexa told Clarke that she didn't need to worry too much and that Anya could take care of herself. Anya was great with girls and she’d be careful with Raven, knowing that Raven was still going through a break-up. They were glad the people closest to them were getting along. 

Lexa laughed while she told Clarke about Lincoln and Octavia’s antics. Clarke admitted she’s on Lincoln’s side, she’d get jealous too if Octavia and Lexa turned out to be too close. 

And from their conversation earlier, Lexa was slightly unsure where the night would take them, but decided to just go with the flow. The last thing Lexa thought she’d be doing was making love to the blonde in her room. That conversation was very misleading. Did she just think ‘love?

Lexa noticed a few paintings on the wall. She moved closer towards the painting to look at them when two arms wrapped around her waist from behind her. 

Clarke rested the side of her face between Lexa’s shoulder’s blades and “hmmed” her appreciation. “Thank you for that beautiful date tonight, Lex.”

Lexa placed her hands on Clarkes and responded, “Oh it was nothing, you made it more beautiful than it was planned to be.” and then without turning, Lexa asked, “Clarke, when do you paint?” 

Clarke kept one hand around Lexa’s waist and then came up to her side to look at the painting that the brunette was looking at.

“Depends, sometimes I paint at night, I stay up till 2-3 am, 4 am sometimes. I mostly paint on weekends.” 

Lexa nodded, “have you painted since you’ve moved here?” 

“No, my hands have been a little busy,” Clarke said, smiling mischievously, now moving a hand up Lexa’s chest. 

Lexa turned around to face Clarke, she took her hands and then led her to the bed and sat both of them down. “Clarke, whatever you and I have going, we’re lucky we’re living together. But I don't want to impose on your space and time. Just cause we’re this close, doesn't mean our lives have to merge so much that you don’t get the time and space to be who you are or do what you do. I feel like I’ve been taking up so much of your time and keeping you to myself every night and I didn’t even know what you’d be doing if you and I were just roommates”

Clarke reached out to hold Lexa’s jaw. “Lex, it amazes me the places your mind goes, she smiled and continued, “You have not been taking up my time and space. I have willingly been giving that to you because I want to. Yes, I love painting, yes I paint at night, and yes, I love spending my nights drowning myself in art.” She paused, “It’s just that sometimes, it’s with paints and sometimes it with your body,” Clarke said the last few words, moving her hand down from Lexa’s jaw to her sternum. Her sight followed her hands until she looked back up to the green of Lexa's eyes staring back at hers. 

“If it makes you feel better, I already planned on painting a white canvas with acrylics tomorrow. But today,” she leaned into Lexa’s ear, “I’m painting with these,” She kissed Lexa’s cheek, allowing Lexa to fully feel her lips as they slowly parted after kissing her “and my canvas is this,” she placed a chaste kiss on Lexa’s neck. When Clarke came back up to look into Lexa’s eyes, she saw just one thing, lust. She couldn't hold back any longer. She gently pushed Lexa’s shoulders backwards, resting her on her bed. She straddled the brunette and took a moment to look deeper into her eyes. 

Lexa rested her hands on Clarke’s thighs. Clarke placed her hands on Lexa’s abdomen. She bit her lip and slowly slid her hands under Lexa’s sweatshirt. “What a fine canvas you are,” Clarke mused. Lexa smiled, revelling in the feeling of Clarke’s hands on her body. 

Clarke moved her hands higher and then back down, not willing herself to touch Lexa’s breasts yet. Lexa drew lazy circles on Clarke’s thighs. Patiently waiting to see what Clarke was up to. 

Clarke bent down and whispered in Lexa’s ears. “Bear with me, I like to inspect my canvas first, the texture is important,” She bit Lexa’s ear lobe and then sat back up, back arched so her weight was digging into Lexa’s body. Lexa closed her eyes and allowed herself to get lost in the feeling of Clarke’s warm hands. 

Clarke tugged at Lexa’s sweatshirt upwards. She wanted it off. Lexa got her drift and lifted her upper body up to pull it off with some help from Clarke. Clarke though was momentarily distracted with the way Lexa’s midsection caught tight, it outlined her abs, and Clarke’s mouth watered. She scooted herself lower so she could bend and kiss Lexa’s body. She allowed one hand to move up to cup Lexa’s breast over her bra. Gosh, how could Lexa be so soft under Clarke’s palm and so hard under her lips at the same time? ‘Texture’ she thought to herself. 

Lexa kept one hand in Clarke’s hair and the other on Clarke’s hand, guiding her hand from one breast to the other and then bringing her hand up to her lips to kiss. Clarke began kissing upwards and when she was met with Lexa’s bra. She looked up at Lexa and said, “there’s something getting in the way of me working on my art.” Lexa lifted her upper body again, knowing it would draw Clarke’s attention back to her abs. It did until Lexa reached behind her and unclasped her own bra. As soon as Clarke saw the straps loosen around Lexa’s shoulders, she brought both her hands to them and gently took them off the brunette. Now her eyes were on Lexa’s breasts. 

She didn't push Lexa to lie down again. Instead, she angled herself so she could take one of Lexa’s nipples in her mouth. Her knees were still straddling Lexa and she knew if she didn't change her position soon, and the position of their clothes, she’d turn into a needy mess. So after sucking at both of Lexa’s breasts and making the girl in front of her lose her breath a bit, she wrapped her arms around Lexa’s neck and kissed her, now sitting on her lap, legs wound around the brunette. 

Lexa wrapped her hands around Clarke’s waist and pulled her flush against her, spreading her own legs a little bit, to even try and get a little relief from Clarke on top of her. “Too many clothes,” Lexa said between kisses. “Then get rid of them,” Clarke responded. 

Lexa pulled Clarke’s top off her and then latched on to her neck in one swift move. Clarke brought her hands into brunette locks and moved Lexa to the front of her neck and then slowly to her collarbone and now her sternum. Lexa lifted herself off a little to look at Clarke’s cleavage. Clarke was wearing a lacy black bra and her creamy skin underneath was calling out to Lexa. Lexa kissed the tops of her breast and then unclasped Clarke’s Bra from behind her. 

As soon as the bra was out of the way, Lexa took one of Clarke's nipples in her mouth and sucked. She bit on it and it caused Clarke to take a deep exhale, she could hear a shiver deep within it. Lexa licked on the bite, soothing it. She continued her ministrations on Clarke’s breast when Clarke started to grind down on her. Lexa slipped her hands behind Clarke’s ass cheeks and squeezed, she pulled them closer, encouraging Clarke to grind down harder. 

Clarke was loving this pace. She didn't know she was capable of it. She didn't know Lexa was capable of it. They were taking their time, finding themselves lost for long moments in the curves of their bodies, in the tingling feeling they were sustaining. So when Clarke reached out behind her and brought Lexa’s hands from her ass back to her waist, Lexa didn’t complain. She looked up and took Clarke’s lips between hers again. Clarke slowly laid them down again, not leaving Lexa’s lips yet. Lexa bit on Clarke’s lower lip and it caused Clarke to moan. 

There were no words spoken between them, they both knew they could speak whenever they wanted, but they were enjoying the silence while it lasted. The only sounds being that of their remaining clothes brushing against each other and the soft sounds of kisses on skin interspersed between light moans and sighs. Their breaths were beginning to build, but they didn’t mind, at least that was moving at a more purposeful pace. They, however, moved with no apparent agenda. It felt like a give and take, where if one got more than the other, they’d find a way to settle it, or forget it all the same. 

Clarke lifted herself off Lexa and sat on her heels between Lexa’s legs. Lexa looked down as Clarke hooked her fingers onto the waistband of Lexa’s slacks and slowly pulled the offending garment off. She dragged her hands up Lexa’s legs slowly. She went back and forth, almost massaging her legs but applying pressure whenever she swooped around Lexa’s inner thighs. It was no surprise to Clarke to find Lexa’s underwear wet at the apex of her thighs. She leaned in and pressed her lips against the splotch, causing Lexa to lift her hips up and throw her head back. Her hands fisting the bedsheet below them. Clarke gently coaxed Lexa’s hips down and ran her finger along the splotch, teasing Lexa and trying to get as much of a reaction from her as she could. “Clarke…,” Lexa said. It sounded like a warning. But it only caused Clarke to smile. She lifted herself off the bed, took off her own pants while Lexa watched, resting backwards on her elbows. She was about to get back into bed when, “Wait… take those off too” Lexa said, gesturing to Clarke’s underwear, a lacy black one. 

Clarke smiled mischievously. “Oh, I need a little help with these.” She crawled up towards Lexa, took both her hands and placed them on the sides of her hips. Where her underwear was only holding up because of two bows on either side. Lexa undid them and threw it beside the bed. The waft of Clarke’s slickness now filling the air around them. “Oh, guess I didn't need any help after all, so simple,” she teased.   
  
Lexa took her opportunity to feel around Clarke’s ass, grabbing each cheek in her palms and squeezing lightly. She then swooped one hand in between Clarke's legs from the front and cupped Clarke’s vagina. The tips of her fingers felt Clarke’s wetness. Clarke gasped. She carefully took Lexa's hand away and sat herself down on Lexa’s midsection and then slowly rolled her centre along Lexa’s abdomen. It was Lexa’s turn to gasp. “Clarke, you’re so...” She didn't get to complete her sentence when Clarke placed a finger on her lips to shush her, “Quiet, you’re disturbing an artist,” and with that Clake began an even more purposeful grind against Lexa’s body. Lexa held on to her waist. Clarke looked into her eyes while she ground down but slowly she was losing her gaze, she shut her eyes and bit down on her own lip, she angled her clit to rub against Lexa’s body. 

Lexa was watching so intently, the way Clarke was chasing her release, this was no give and take, this part here, this was all take and God, how honoured Lexa felt to give.

Clarke had her hands on Lexa’s shoulders until she found that she was pushing down on her shoulders too hard. She then placed her hands on the bed, both sides beside Lexa’s head and that brought her breasts closer to Lexa. So Lexa lifted her upper body a little yet again, to suck at Clarke’s breast. Clake supported herself on one hand and brought the other to hold Lexa’s head tight at her breast. Clarke was now panting hard, there were sounds leaving her lips with every grind. It was like she forgot there was another person in the room with her. Lexa bit at her nipple again, this time sharper than ever before and Clarke screamed, Lexa let go of her nipple worried she hurt her but Clarke was quick to pull her lips back to her nipple, “Again, do that again,” she said. And Lexa did. And that was Clarke's undoing. She threw her head behind, neck strained and pressed hard against Lexa’s abs. “Fuck, Lex, fuck fuck fuck,” she cried out and Lexa watched as Clarke rode her orgasm out, pleasuring herself on Lexa’s body, holding on to the last shocks as much as she could, body frozen in delight until it all but crashed out of her and Clarke fell limp onto Lexa’s body, breathing heavy near Lexa’s ear. 

Lexa closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around Clarke’s body. There was a pool of warmth on her abs and she wasn't complaining one bit, because there was a goddess in her arms and she was beginning to feel so much for her. Clarke took her time to catch her breath. And when she finally came around, she lifted herself to look at the girl beneath her. “Wow,” Clarke said, it was all she could say right now. “Wow yourself,” Lexa replied, “that was all you.”

“No,” Clarke said, “when an artist paints,” she breathed again, “she’s painting on canvas, but it is the canvas,” she breathed, “that adds colour to her, really.” 

Lexa saw it then, she saw why this girl in front of her meant so much. She saw this goddess, this angel, this figure of warmth and all things heavenly, she really saw now. She could really see Clarke, and god, she loved what she was seeing. 

Clarke smiled at Lexa’s look of disbelief, “that just came to me, really, I had no idea,” Clarke chuckled. 

“You’re extraordinary,” Lexa said, under her breath, taking Clarke’s lips between hers. They kissed, passionately. Hands roaming until Clarke realised Lexa’s underwear was still on. She broke the kiss and made her way down to take them off. Lexa was waiting on her to come back up but she got up on her elbows when she realised Clarke was taking too long. The sight of Clarke reading herself between Lexa’s legs had her heart beat faster. Clarke looked like a predator. “Clarke, come back here, you haven't caught your breath yet,” Lexa called.

“Yea, that’s right, I don’t know why you’re still breathing easy anyway,” Clarke said and with that, she brought her lips to Lexa’s center. No warning, no teasing, it sent a shock up Lexa’s spine and the girl threw her head back in pleasure. What was Clarke doing to her? She was falling from somewhere really high. 

Clarke licked through her folds. Lexa placed one hand in her hair and caught her own breast with the other, palming it and squeezing her nipple. “Clarke, god,” Lexa whispered into the air. 

Clarke may or may not have heard that. Lexa's thighs were restless, almost closing around Clarke’s face until Clarke held them apart. Clarke nipped and sucked, licked and bit, and it was driving Lexa crazy. When Lexa had finally managed to keep her legs spread out wide, Clarke was able to use her hands. She spread Lexa’s sides out with two fingers and with her tongue, she swiped up hard against Lexa. Lexa lifted her hips an inch with that movement and caught her breath. Clarke tried it again, this time with a little more pressure. Lexa jolted, she could feel an orgasm coming quick. Clarke realised it was too soon. She wanted to drive Lexa up the wall some more. But decided to put the girl out of her misery for now. She wrapped one hand around Lexa’s thigh to hold the hood of her clit. She latched her lips on to Lexa’s clit and then brought her other hand to Lexa’s centre. Looking up at Lexa, the girl doing her best to catch up with her breath, her back arching, her head thrusting backwards. Clarke paused. She was loving this sight from between Lexa’s legs, but she needed her to calm down right now. When Lexa finally realised that Clarke had indeed stopped moving, her cheeks turned pink. She was feeling way more than Clarke was doing to her and Clarke looked proud. Lexa said between breaths, “What’s wrong? Out of paints? Tired already?” and chuckled. 

“Oh no, I’m just getting started,” Clarke said and with that, she slowly inserted one finger into Lexa. Lexa had just about caught her breath, (okay no, she was miles away from that, but we can call a little progress some progress at all) when she felt her walls swallow Clarke's finger when Clarke pulled out, she waited for a second and then had two fingers slowly entering Lexa. Lexa couldn't survive if Clarke continued to keep this speed, she needed more. “Clarke, move, faster,” she said between pants. “Give me a moment,” Clarke said and when Lexa looked down to see why she saw Clarke's eyes boring into her. Clarke wanted to watch her writhe. Clarke wanted to see her come undone like she had watched Clarke above her earlier. 

Lexa grew tighter at the thought of it and Clarke's fingers inside her felt all the better. With the little strength she had, she propped herself up on her elbows, still panting. “I’ll give you what you want, Clarke, you need only ask,” Lexa said, trying to be smug, but too high strung to really be anything other than desperate for release. 

“Please, fuck me,” she said.

And Clarke didn't need to be told twice. She thrust her fingers in deep, pushed a little and saw no resistance in Lexa’s face, she brought her fingers back out and saw Lexa looking right at her, desperate for her orgasm to come quick. Clarke latched her lips onto her clit again and sucked and Lexa watched. It’s like it was happening to her twice, once as she watched and then as she felt. She felt a rush of adrenaline, as Clarke quickened her pace, now realising how much quickly she herself wanted to see Lexa fall apart before her. When Lexa’s walls began to wrap around her fingers tighter, Clarke knew she was on the brink, she curled her two fingers upwards and bit lightly on Lexa’s now over-sensitive bundle of nerves and that brought Lexa to her impending doom, her undoing, her take-off, her coming.

Lexa awoke the demons within Clarke because sounds like that don't go unheard. Clarke wanted this girl more than ever now, she wanted all of her, she wanted to make her hers. She wanted to keep her away from everything that could hurt her and she wanted, more than anything, to always have the honour of taking her up to heaven and back, just like this moment. 

Clarke kept her fingers where they were but applied some pressure to milk Lexa of all she had at that moment. And Lexa came hard and fast, covering Clarke’s hands. Clarke licked and held on to Lexa’s centre, to help her down easily and only when she knew the girl was done did she slowly take her fingers out. She lapped at Lexa’s sex, wiping away all remnants of her cum and when she accidentally swiped on Lexa's clit, she swore she almost lost Lexa. 

Lexa took her time to recover. Clarke crawled up to her and laid down beside her body. She used Lexa’s arm around her as a pillow and kept one arm on Lexa’s chest. She kissed the side of Lexa’s breast and asked her if she was alright. Lexa nodded. Still not able to form words. When her breathing finally reached a gradual slow, she looked at Clarke, “Come here” and Clarke knew where. She leaned up and kissed Lexa slowly on her lips and then rested her forehead on hers. 

“You’re one skilled artist” Lexa mused. Clarke threw her head back in laughter. She had almost forgotten where all of this had started. She didn't find words that would do anything better to the current moment, so she just leaned in and kissed Lexa more tenderly. Lexa let her hands wander on Clarke’s back. Gently, she moved Clarke off her and to her side and then slowly began to move over Clarke. 

“Lex, no, you don’t have to. Sleep now, aren't you tired.” Clarke offered.

“What? I can’t kiss my girl?” There it was, Lexa didn’t know how to take it back. Should she? Was it wrong? It felt right, then why did she want to take it back.

Clarke heard it, she saw the chaos in Lexa’s eyes and she knew the girl was freaking out at the slip. She reached out to put a strand of hair behind Lexa’s ear, “You can,” she said, “you can kiss your girl. Cause your girl wants to kiss you back.”

Clarke all but felt Lexa’s shoulders relax and she bent down and kissed her again. Whether they went at it again or not, the neighbours could possibly tell. 

Okay, they did. Lexa was on her back too long to give up the opportunity of having Clarke now on her back. She devoured Clarke and only allowed them both to sleep after she gave Clarke reason to call her name out loud in the dark silence of the night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took me forever to edit these chapters cause I was doing this while working. Hope you enjoyed it! Leave a comment and tell me what you think :)


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More chapters, ya'll!

**Chapter 27:**

When morning came, Clarke left for work. 

Lexa spoke with Anya, did a grocery run, texted her friends, fed Aden, had a one-sided conversation with him, called up the florist to send Clarke flowers at her gallery and then retreated to her room to read. She eventually fell asleep. 

And then sometime in the evening, she got dressed and left for the bar. 

When Clarke got home that evening, She brought home the flowers Lexa had sent her, she placed them in some water. She made dinner while she spoke to Raven on speaker, they added Octavia to the call, so Clarke got to say hi to Lincoln too. She saved some food for Lexa in the fridge. She texted Lexa first and then they spoke for a bit on call, shly bringing up the night before. 

Then she headed up to her room to really paint, this time. 

When Lexa got back, she saw Clarke’s window and noticed the lights were on. The girl must be painting she thought. She fetched her own dinner and decided to take it up to her room. She texted Clarke that she was back home and that she was having dinner in her room. Clarke told her she could come and eat in her room, but Lexa needed some time alone herself, she was gonna finish reading her book today, and Clarke understood. 

When the night drew in some more, Lexa was fighting off sleep, wondering if she should go say goodnight to Clarke before she headed to bed. And at that moment, Clarke knocked on her door. She told her to come in. Clarke all but strolled in, sat by the side of Lexa’s bed, with Lexa already under the covers, sitting against the headboard with a book on her lap. Clake kissed her lips chastely, "I'll be sleeping over at Raven's tomorrow night," Clarke said. "So I'll carry some stuff with me to work in the morning and I'll be back the day after tomorrow."

"Alright, text me though, if you need me to bring anything by or if you need a lift," Lexa offered.

"Thanks," Clarke kissed her again

“Goodnight, Babe,” Clarke said.

"Goodnight Clarke," Lexa said. Smiling at the blonde. And just like that, Clarke made her way out the door and back into her room. 

Lexa got under her covers and fell asleep almost immediately. She was happy, after a very long time.   


***

  
"Will you get off your phone for a bit? I'm right in front of you!" Clarke complained. 

She got a side-eye from Raven who sent one final text and then conceded. 

The two were digging into boxes of Chinese take out in Raven's living room, finally having a chance to catch up on each other's lives. 

"I can't help it, she's just really good at keeping my attention," Raven replied.

"Anya?" Clarke asked? Raven nodded her head. 

"What's going on between you two, anyway?" Clarke had to probe. 

"Nothing worth mentioning, it's nice to talk to someone new. Someone with a fresh perspective." 

Clarke nodded but didn't say anything hoping she would go on. She did. 

"I've been missing Bellamy but not having him around has made me realise a lot of things. I miss the attention he gave me more than I miss him."

Clarke shook her head in understanding. "And is Anya filling that void?" Clarke didn't want to sound accusatory, but she was hoping Raven had thought about this already. 

"Anya is… yea, Anya is filling that void for now," Raven said that and then smiled at the thought of something. 

"What? What are you smiling at?" Clarke asked. 

"She told me that the night she tucked me in, she helped me take my bra off after asking me if I needed help. I remember that part so I wasn’t surprised when she mentioned it. But apparently, I asked her to hold on to my hand until I fell asleep." Raven looked up at Clarke who had an amused smile on. And then they both burst into a fit of laughter. 

"Really, Raven? Drunk you did not try to hit on her harder? That's all you managed to say?" Clarke teased her some more. 

"Oh come on, I was not trying to hit on her. We were having a nice evening. We spoke by the pool, then during the movie, she held my hand. It was...friendly." Raven confessed. 

"Well, if you're just looking for attention and not a relationship, you might want to warn the woman," Clarke suggested. 

Raven nodded, "I did, we were chatting one evening and she asked me how I was doing with regards to the break-up and I told her that I was missing him. But she’s been helping me feel a lot less lonely by checking in on me and these amazing conversations. So I guess she knows that I'm liking the attention." 

"Okay good. As long as you both know where the other is.” 

Raven nodded. And continued to dig into her take-out box when she looked up she asked, "How's rooming with your crush going?" 

Clarke blushed. But continued to eat. Raven whacked her shoulder, "Spit it out, girl!" 

Clarke glared at her and finally softened. "We decided to give it a shot. We've had two dates now. Only one was official," she rolled her eyes at herself and Raven looked on in confusion but didn't seem like she wanted to know. 

Clarke continued, "God, she's so good, in bed and at breakfast, and in general, to me, she's so adorable and sweet and kind, and she's so… I don't know, you know, she's so perfect." Clarke smiled at herself. "We're getting to know each other a little more every day, and truth be told, this is the first time I really feel like someone wants me just as bad as I want them to be in my life."

Raven smiled at that. 

They spoke some more and then decided to call it a night. When they got into bed. Raven was back at her phone, probably texting Anya when Clarke's phone buzzed with a text. It was Lexa.

Lexa: Hey, just curious, are we girlfriends now? 

Clarke: No, you've gotta ask me to be your girlfriend. 

Clarke loved toying with Lexa. The brunette thought she was a real stud, but really, she was a dork.

Lexa: Oh. Okay, forget this conversation happened. 

Clarke chuckled. 

Clarke: Are you home? Did you have dinner? 

Lexa: Yea, just now. 

Clarke watched as three dots appeared and disappeared and then appeared again until a message came through. 

Lexa: Clarke, will you be my girlfriend? 

Clarke blushed. How did she manage to woo the dorkiest of dorks in the world? 

Clarke: Lexa I was kidding earlier. I'm already your girlfriend. Didn’t we talk about me being your girl two nights ago? 

Lexa: Yes. Yes, we did. Okay. I was talking to Lincoln and he asked me if my girlfriend was around and I didn't know how to answer cause we didn't really say girlfriends...so I figured I'd clarify with you. 

Clarke: Gosh I want to cover your face in kisses right now. 

Lexa: Hahahaha, tomorrow, girlfriend *wink wink*

Lexa: BTW, any news about Anya and Raven? 

Clarke: Yea, Raven can't stop texting her. Clarke watched from the side of her eye as Raven continued to type frantically at her screen. 

Lexa: Anyas not much of a texter so she must really be invested. 

Clarke: Yea, well, I hope they know what they're doing. 

Lexa: Clarke, we didn't know what we were doing. We're still doing it, though. 

Clarke: I don't know about you, but I'm dating my roommate and right now I'm wishing I was in the same room as her. 

Clarke turned on her side now. Away from Raven. 

Lexa: Hmmm, sleep with me tomorrow night. 

Clarke: Consider it done. I'll be back from work by 6 tomorrow. Guess I'll see you at night? Wake me up if I fall asleep early? 

Lexa: I wouldn't. Or just sleep in my bed. I'll join you once I'm in.

Clarke: Alright. Goodnight, babe :*

Lexa: Goodnight Clarke. 

Clarke turned to find Raven smiling at her phone. She turned back to her side and called out "Goodnight Rae."

"Goodnight Clarke."

***

When Clarke woke the next morning, Raven wasn't in bed with her. She went to the living room and found the girl asleep on the couch with her phone in hand. 

She woke her up and asked her if she was alright. Raven woke up and took a moment to realise she was in the living room. 

"Did you sleep here all night?" 

Rubbing her eyes she answered, "Yea I was talking to Anya on a call and I thought I would disturb you so I came here. And then we were texting and I think I dozed off." 

"Wow, okay, I'm gonna go get ready for work. Let's grab coffee together?" 

Raven nodded. Still a little dazed. 

Clarke found Raven to be a little on edge. So she asked, "Rae, is everything okay?"

Raven responded too quickly, "yea yea, I'm fine."

They both got their coffee and took a seat at the cafe before they got to work. Clarke had just taken a sip when Raven blurted out, "Okay, I'm not okay, Anya and I sexted last night." 

Clarke almost choked at that bold admission. 

When she managed to speak she said, "Wait, did she say something you're not comfortable with? Cause you're saying you both sexted but you're not alright." 

"No no, gosh no, she said all the right things! God, that's half of the reason I left the bedroom at night." 

Clarke nodded for her to continue. 

"I'm just feeling guilty, that's it. Like I'm still reeling from the breakup and we just fell into sexting like it's second nature. We were talking and then it turned to flirting and the next thing I know, I'm telling her I wanted to feel her hands on me again. Gosh, Clarke, she must think I'm desperate."

"Woah, hold on there, she knows you're going through a breakup, if she was sexting back I'm sure she did it out of her own will and not just to fulfil your needs." 

"Yea, but I shouldn't be doing this, I mean. It's not like I'm just talking to Anya for some meaningless pleasure, I genuinely like talking to her. I don't know how we started sexting and I don't know if I've given her the idea that I just want sex from all this. I don't want her to think I'm just using her for comfort. I might want more from all of it, but I feel like I need to move past Bellamy completely before I get into that." Raven said. 

"Well then tell her that. It's pretty clear to me that you already like her for now. You don't need to feel guilty that it's too soon after Bellamy. It's possible to get over things quickly, Rae, quit judging yourself for it." Clarke said, very matter of factly. 

"Tell her what you feel about her, tell her the sexting was a happenstance but you don't regret it, let her know that you don't want her to be a rebound and that you want more out of it and then see what she says and take it from there." Clarke offered. 

Raven nodded. "Right, I should talk to her, I haven't gone online all morning. Cause I don't know how to talk to her about it. But you're right. I should. She sent me a couple of messages this morning, I shouldn’t leave her in the dark.” She paused. And then she smirked. “Wouldn't want to start off the way you and Lexa did, tip-toeing around each other," Raven teased. 

Clarke rolled her eyes. "Well, there's no tip-toeing anymore."

  
The conversation got lighter. They spoke some more about their jobs and then some more about Anya and Lexa and finally, they left for work. 


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28:**

Clarke: Hey I just got to work. See you this evening. 

Lexa: Morning Clarke. I just got off the phone with a very panicked Anya. 

Clarke: Tell me what she told you! 

Lexa: It's too much to type. Let's talk when you get home

Clarke: Woah, that serious? 

Lexa: No no, it's just that Anya has never been this unnerved about a girl. 

Clarke: Omg, Raven too! Cool, I'll wait for you in your room. Mind if I read one of your books till you're back? 

Lexa: I don't mind at all! See ya :) have a nice day Clarke. 

Clarke: :* 

Lexa: Just use another bookmark.

Clarke: So much for ‘I don’t mind at all”

Lexa: -_- 

***

Raven: I spoke to her. Will fill you in tomorrow

Clarke: Alright, call me.

***

When Lexa served herself dinner that night, she knew Clarke was probably up in her room waiting for her. So when she went upstairs with her plate, she wasn't surprised to see Clarke in her pyjamas sitting in her bed reading. What did surprise her though was how absolutely adorable Clarke looked in glasses. 

Lexa knocked.

Clarke looked up from the book and smiled, "Hey babe," she scooted to one side of the bed so Lexa would sit beside her. But Lexa propped herself in front of Clarke and sat crossed legged with her plate in hand. "Hi," Lexa said, "you look adorable in glasses, I didn’t know you needed them."

Clarke leaned in to kiss her on her lips and then responded, "I only use them to read, but I could keep them on longer, for you." She kissed Lexa again. 

Lexa laughed, kept the plate on her lap and took them off for Clarke. "Have you eaten?" Lexa asked. She folded the glasses and reached over to the bedside table to keep them there. 

Clarke nodded. 

She shut the book and sat up straight. "Okay, now down to business. What did Anya tell you?" 

"You go first, I'm starving," Lexa said.

"Well, Raven's loving the attention. But it's not just that. She's hoping for enough time to pass since the breakup so she can maybe pursue something with Anya without the guilt of it being too soon." Lexa continued to eat but her eyebrows furrowed. 

Clarke continued, "They've been talking a lot and they ended up sexting last night, so Raven freaked out this morning. She doesn't want Anya to think she was only looking to her for comfort." 

With Lexa having had enough to ease a rumbling stomach, she began to speak. "Well, I think An spoke to Raven after I texted you. She told me they sexted and she was worried Raven would get awkward about it so she had sent a couple of texts like it was an ordinary day. But Raven hadn't texted back in the morning. So she called me fretting about it. Then I texted you and right after that Anya texted me saying Raven called her up and they’re good.”

"What did Raven tell her?" Clarke asked. She brushed some sauce off the side of Lexa's lips and licked her thumb. 

Lexa smiled. "Thanks." She continued, "Raven told her that she didn't regret anything and they didn't need to avoid the fact that they did in fact get two steps ahead of themselves. Anya was glad Raven was not beating around the bush. But then Raven told Anya that she was beginning to feel things for her, as more than a friend."

Clarke smiled proudly, "Atta girl!"

Lexa looked serious now, "No Clarke, hold on. Anya freaked out and hung up." 

"What? Is that even an 'Anya' thing to do? She comes across as someone so confident." Clarke began to reason.

"Oh Anya's very confident, but only when she's not serious. She’s very confident about getting girls to bed. Here, she likes Raven back, but she didn't think Raven liked her too. She thought she got lucky with the sexting. That Raven was just looking for comfort and she was more than happy to give it. But Raven wasn't just doing that, and she made that clear to Anya today." Lexa explained. 

"I'm confused," Clarke said, "so does she want something with Raven or not?" 

"Clarke, it's more than that. Anya has never been in a relationship before, this is the first time she's feeling so strongly about anyone. I've never seen her this nervous, this is out of her game,” Lexa chuckled.

"Wow, does Raven know this? She would have freaked out when Anya hung up." Clarke asked. 

"No, I told Anya to call her back up instead of talking to me," Lexa assured Clarke.

"I'm sure they spoke or Anya would have called me up again," Lexa said. "To be honest, it even surprises me. Anya's always been the one to give me advice. Boy, she gave me grief for not getting your number the morning I got back home." 

Clarke giggled at that. "Well, you did get more than you bargained for." 

Lexa smiled. That was that. "I did,” 

Well, anyway, I hope they figure out their scene. It's about time Anya started taking a relationship seriously," Lexa said. 

She got up to go keep her plate in the kitchen and wrap up for the night. 

She turned back to ask Clarke to sleep with her tonight but the sight that was waiting for her had her warm all over. Clarke was scooting lower in bed, putting her glasses back on and picking up the book. 

Clarke looked up to see her still standing at the door. "Lex, something wrong?"

"No, nothing at all. I'll be right back." She replied and then headed downstairs. 

***

Lexa went about, turning all the lights off around the house, she changed into her pyjamas, brushed and settled into her side of the bed. Their lights were off, save for the bedside lamps. Clarke was still reading so Lexa took her phone to reply to some messages and check Instagram. 

"Lex? Have you ever sexted?" Clarke asked. The book now in her lap. 

Without looking up from her phone, Lexa answered, "a couple of times, yea"  
  
Clarke didn't say anything after that so Lexa got lost in replying to people's IG stories from the bar. 

She gets a text from Clarke so she looks towards Clarke to be sure it indeed came from her and that Clarke hadn't lost her phone. 

Clarke had a mischievous smirk on her face but didn't look Lexa's way. 

Lexa opened the text.

Clarke: What are you wearing tonight?


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

Lexa looked at Clarke, "Clarke, I'm sitting right here. You can see me." 

"Oh come on Lex, we shared the same bed even before we became girlfriends, we'll never get to sext," Clarke complained. 

"So you want to sext me while I'm sitting right here? Next to you. Within your reach? Where we can actually have sex." Lexa said, very matter of factly. 

"Don't be a spoiled sport, babe. Come on, play along. Let's see where this goes." 

Lexa huffed. And then conceded. Clarke shut her book and placed it on the bedside table, a little too excited for this and then waited patiently for Lexa's response. 

**Lexa:** Just a tee and grey underwear. But I wish I wasn't wearing any of it. 

Clarke bit her lip. And replied.

 **Clarke:** So take it off.

 **Lexa:** Alright. 

Clarke looked towards Lexa. But Lexa just smiled at her screen and continued to text when Clarke got another message.

 **Lexa:** Done. Now I'm naked under the covers.

Clarke looked at Lexa with her jaw dropped. "Lex, you’re such a liar!"

"Yea well, play along, it's not like you'd know if I really took my clothes off or not." Lexa mused.

Clarke had no response. Lexa had this one. She began to type. 

**Clarke:** I wish I was with you right now, I'd cover your body in kisses.

 **Lexa:** Are you naked right now too?

 **Clarke:** I am. 

Lexa watched as Clarke slipped her hand underneath the covers and took her underwear off and threw them to the side of the bed. She did it pretty dramatically, ensuring Lexa saw the action. 

Lexa's eyes widened. Clarke didn't look her way. 

**Lexa:** What I'd give to touch you right now. 

**Clarke:** Then touch me. 

Lexa watched Clarke slowly slide her hand under the covers, probably between her legs. 

Clarke folded her legs up at her knees so Lexa knew she was touching herself. 

**Lexa:** I'm touching you, Clarke, feel my fingers dipping into your folds. 

**Clarke:** and?

 **Lexa:** I'm on top of you, kissing your neck. 

Clarke shifted lower in bed. One hand still holding her phone and the other stroking between her legs. 

**Lexa:** Spread your legs wider, babe. 

She watched over the covers as Clarke spread them wider. 

**Lexa:** you're such a good girl. I'm kissing your right breast now. 

She watched as Clarke closed her eyes for a minute and then arched her back just a little. She was probably really going at it between her legs. Lexa’s could picture it, but this was driving her up the wall. She wanted to touch. 

When Clare opened her eyes she was greeted with another message from Lexa.

 **Lexa:** Tell me what you want, Clarke.

Clarke kept her phone on her chest, closed her eyes again and stroked harder under the sheets. 

Realising Clarke was not gonna be able to text anymore, Lexa whispered now, in Clarke's direction. "Tell me what you want, Clarke." She turned on her side now to watch the blonde. 

"Touch me". Clarke said. Eyes still closed.

"I'm touching you, Clarke. What else do you want?" Lexa said, with her hands still to herself. 

Clarke's breath was beginning to hitch and she was squirming lower now. Lexa observed, tempted to reach out. But now absolutely in with the game that Clarke wanted to play. 

"Faster," Clarke whispered into the air of the night.

"I'm stroking around your centre faster now," Lexa scooted over to Clarke, to speak into her ear now. "Clarke, all this for me? You're so fucking wet." Lexa was taking a hunch. But Clarke had to be by now, right?

Clarke whimpered. She was beginning to move her hands in a quicker rhythm, working herself up. 

"Let me get inside Clarke, let me show you how it's done." Lexa lifted the covers and threw them on the other side of Clarke. 

Lexa saw Clarke's movements still. 

Clarke then inserted two fingers inside herself. Her jaw dropping and her breath gasping was enough to tell Lexa she was giving herself more. 

"I'm moving slowly Clarke. In and out." She whispered. But she really wished it was her doing this to Clarke. 

"Lex, I'm already so close," Clarke said. 

"Not yet Clarke. I'll say when you can come." Lexa whispered now, brushing Clarke's ear with her lips. 

Clarke realised Lexa was going to tell her what to do, Lexa was taking control, Lexa would tell her if she could come or not. It was hot, but it was new. She played along. "Lex, what next?" 

"I'm thrusting into you, slow in pace, but harder with every push," Lexa said. 

And Lexa watched keenly as Clarke pulled her curved hand upward hard against her body. It was enough to make her lift her hips a little higher. 

"That's it, baby girl, let me fuck you nice and easy," Lexa said.

"God, Lex, faster, please, I'm so close." Clarke whimpered.

"I love it when you say my name like that, with your hand between your legs, fucking yourself. I'll pick up my pace. For you." Lexa whispered.

"Faster now. Come for me." She commanded.

She watched Clarke grow more purposeful with her movements. She watched as the girl moaned and whimpered. And then she couldn't do it anymore.

She slid her own hand down Clarke's. She stopped Clarke's hand and brought her two fingers to her own mouth. Clarke was panting. She needed release. 

Lexa sucked them clean while Clarke was still restlessly uneasy. Then as Lexa slid her own hand down between Clarke's legs, Clarke turned her face towards her, eyebrows a little furrowed, panting. Lexa looked into her eyes and said, "allow me". Clarke nodded and within a second, Lexa had two fingers slipped into Clarke. 

She moved them in and out thrusting hard. Trying to keep the same pace that Clarke had going. Clarke's hips lifted higher. "Come now, Clarke let go, I've got you babe" she whispered again, this time right in front of Clarke's lips. 

"fuck, fuck, Lexa, yea, oh God, fuck me, Lex," Clarke called loudly and then her body froze, it shivered and she came. Shocks ran through her body. And Lexa wrapped one arm under her when her back arched. "That's it, baby, come back to me," Lexa whispered, slowly stroking Clarke to bring her back down from her orgasm. She gently started kissing Clarke's face. Her forehead, her nose, her cheeks, her eyes, her lips. She kissed her jaw, her collar bone, her neck and when Clarke opened her eyes, Lexa was looking right into them. 

"Hi, Lexa said. 

Clarke smiled. Still catching her breath. Not able to speak yet. 

Lexa nibbled at her ear lobe. Bit at her pulse point and peppered soft kisses along her shoulder. 

When Clarke finally had the strength. She pushed Lexa on her back and straddled her. Lexa was caught by surprise. 

"Hey," Clarke said smiling, and then more pointedly like she hadn't finished what she was saying, "...Commander"

Lexa took a moment. Clarke bent down to kiss her. But Lexa didn't kiss back. Clarke lifted herself to look at Lexa. 

"Clarke, where did that come from?"

"Oh don't tease, you held me off longer, you said you would tell me when I could come, it was so fucking hot, I wanna eat you up for it"

Lexa's eyes widened. It was clear her mind drifted off to another place and then came back. "I'm sorry, I just realised, we were supposed to talk about it before…" 

Clarke shushed her again, this time with her lips. 

"You did not hurt me, you did not overstep and no Lex, you do not get to apologise for the orgasm you just gave me."

Lexa was speechless. She couldn't believe she was controlling Clarke like that. They hadn't given each other safe words yet. What if she got carried away. Of course, Clarke would stop her, but she didn't want to put Clarke in that place. She didn't want to put herself in that place in Clarke's eyes. 

Clarke watched as Lexa's gaze turned more and more full of worry. 

"Babe, Lex, come back to me," Clarke kissed her forehead. "I.Trust.You. I trust you fully. I know you're not gonna hurt me, okay?"

"Clarke, let's talk about this tomorrow, please?" 

"Of course, Lex" Clarke kissed her again. It took a little pushing, but Lexa finally kissed her back. "you didn't do anything wrong, I'm not hurt, I'm not angry, I'm not upset, in fact.." Clarke ran her finger down Lexa's jaw and then her neck. "I'm a little turned on with the commander showing up." 

Lexa smiled. Okay, maybe she was overreacting. But she decided to leave it for tomorrow. She'll apologise and explain everything to Clarke tomorrow. Clarke needed to know her apprehensions. 

Lexa wrapped her arms around Clarke as Clarke nestled her head at Lexa's neck. Clarke kissed her neck, "I'm guessing you're out of it now,"

Lexa just nodded. But then she kissed Clarke's head, "Let's get some sleep okay?" 

Clarke got up one more time and looked at Lexa's eyes. 'Lex, you're too hard on yourself." 

"Clarke, I'm alright, we'll talk about it tomorrow. Right now I just want to hold you close." 

Clarke snuggled back into her embrace. "I'm definitely sexting you again," Clarke said. 

And Clarke's comfort was that she heard Lexa chuckle at that. 


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

When Lexa woke the next morning she was alone in bed. She looked around and the bathroom door was open. Clarke wasn't there either. 

She checked her phone and it was really early. 7 am. 

She got up and got inside the bathroom to wash her face. She decided to take a shower too. 

It was easy for her to get lost in thought when the water flowed down her skin. She thought back to a time when she got really dominant with Costia. Costia always loved a dominant Lexa. But there was this one time she fucked up. She held Costia out too long, and they didn't have safe words. She didn't know Costia was actually feeling too much. She took Costia's begging as part of the act. She didn't know how badly she was treating the girl until a tear ran down Costia's cheek and then some more. Lexa brought her down immediately. And then apologised again and again and again. And then she told Costia she couldn't do it anymore. She took some time away from the girl she loved the most. Because she wasn't careful, and now she was too ashamed to face her. She was selfish. She was someone she didn't recognise. How did she get carried away?

“Lex? Breakfast’s ready!” Lexa was brought out of her black hole of thoughts when Clarke called out to her from outside.

“I’ll be down in a bit, Clarke.”

“Alright, babe” came Clarke’s reply. 

Lexa finished up quickly, she towelled herself, brushed and got out. She was going to talk to Clarke, she was going to apologize and then she was going to explain and then she would have to be more careful.

When Lexa walked into the kitchen, Clarke was serving them two plates of waffles. “Morning, Lex,” Clarke said. 

“Morning, Clarke,” Lexa said, taking a seat at the island counter. When Clarke had served them both, she came around the counter, spun Lexa’s bar stool towards her, fit herself between Lexa’s legs and kissed her passionately. 

Lexa kissed her back and then pulled away, she smiled at Clarke. “Breakfast and those lips, what did I do right?” 

Clarke could tell Lexa’s smile was not all there. Something was on her mind. “Babe, you’re thinking too loudly. Start talking.” Clarke kissed her lips again and then pulled back to look into her eyes. She was met with worry and chaos. She held Lexa’s jaw and encouraged, “Hey, Lex, I'm right here, you can tell me what’s going on.”

Lexa reached behind Clarke and pulled the other bar stool closer, she told Clarke to sit and then took her hands in hers. “Clarke, last night, when I took over, you needed release and you asked for it, but instead of giving it to you I asked you to hold on to it for a bit more.” she paused, to gauge if Clarke was with her. Clarke nodded encouragingly. “Then when we were done, and you mentioned it, it took me back somewhere, it reminded me of a time when I took control and I took advantage of it. I hurt Costia once, Clarke. I hurt the girl I loved the most because I took on a role.” She paused again and took a deep breath. “Clarke, I’d never forgive myself if I overstep with you. You mean so much to me right now and I don't want to ever be the one to hurt you. Just because I like being in control doesn't mean I abuse that control.”

“Lex, hold on right there. Last night, what you and I did, we were both very aware of it at every point. I asked for release and you could have given it to me, but you made me hold on for a bit longer cause you knew it would feel better when I did, in fact, climax. If I had a problem with that, I wouldn't have listened to you, I would have ignored your instruction and gotten what I wanted anyway. But, God, you are so sexy when you take control like that. You did not abuse your power, Lex, you were trying to bring me greater pleasure. Think about this, just after that, you took over, cause I was taking too long anyway to reach. You didn't have to reach out, but you did. You wanted to help me finish. Lex, you’re not a bad person. You’re not gonna hurt me intentionally, I know that. If it helps you, Lex, I want you to know, I liked it, I liked it when you took charge like that, it meant you know my body now, you know how much I can take and that’s beautiful.”

Lexa was falling harder. How was Clarke so perfect? How could Clarke find the brighter side of this so easily? Clarke held her face with both hands. “Lex, we’re okay. You’re okay.”

“Would it make you feel better if we decided our safe words?” Clarke asked. “Because I really don’t wanna say goodbye to that side of you yet.”

Lexa smiled, she nodded and held Clarke’s hands tighter. “Yea, that would make me feel better.”

“Great,” Clarke hopped off her stool and stepped in between Lexa’s legs again. She took Lexa’s hands and wrapped it around her waist. And then she wrapped her own hands around Lexa’s neck. 

“My safe word is gonna be...” Clarke thought out loud “Alex!”

Lexa’s face fell. “What? No!” 

“Oh come on Lex, if I say 'Alex', you’ll think of Anya and that should totally bring you out of character.” Lexa rolled her eyes. 

“What’s your safe word?” Clarke asked. 

Lexa thought. She was suddenly hit by the smell of something burning, she sniffed the air once and then looked towards the kitchen counter. “Waffles!” she screamed. 

Clarke looked amused, she hadn't followed Lexa’s line of sight. “Waffles, Lex? Not a very creative safe word.” 

“No Clarke, the waffles, they’re burning.” Clarke looked towards the kitchen and ran out of Lexa’s embrace towards it. She switched the waffle maker off and then started fanning the air around it with a kitchen towel. Lexa was right behind her, laughing. 

“Oh shut up,” Clarke said. “As though you haven’t burned anything before.”

“Well, not really, I’m quite efficient at breakfast,” Lexa said proudly as she wrapped her arms around Clarke from behind her. 

“Yea?” said Clarke, “teach me some time then,” she said, as she threw the kitchen towel down, clearly frustrated.

“Okay, I will. But for now, I think we have my safe word, it’s 'waffles'. As soon as I say it, you’ll think you left something on in the kitchen.” Clarke turned around and whacked Lexa on her shoulder. Then leaned in to kiss her. When she pulled back, “so you’re okay now?" she asked Lexa.

“We’re okay,” Lexa smiled. 

They finished their breakfast and then went about their day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love reading your comments! Let me know what you think :) Also, would ya'll like to see more of Lexa's dominant side just as much as Clarke wants to see it?


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, hope you guys are doing okay :) I know the US Presidential elections are taking a toll on everyone. I have a close friend in New York who has been on edge, and this is a humble reminder to you guys and her - I hope you're able to find some time to sit back and be mindful of your peace, your mind, your space, your boundaries and your emotions. Lots of love <3

**Chapter 31**

The weekend rolled by quickly and while the two set about their own individual chores and tasks for the day, they decided to do a grocery run together on Sunday afternoon. 

Lexa decided to take the bike since they didn’t need to pick up much, should be just about two grocery bags. So Clarke got on the bike with her and they were off. 

“Anya’s gonna be back on Wednesday, she’s got some work here in town. And then she’ll fly back next Sunday,” Lexa mentioned while they were in the snacks aisle.

“That’s great, any word about Raven and Anya?” Clarke asked casually.

Lexa chuckled, “Anya’s planning on asking Raven on a date when she’s here. But she hasn’t told Raven she’s coming yet. She said she’ll surprise her. So I’m guessing they’re doing alright for now.”

Clarke smiled, “Wow, Raven likes surprises. She’ll be glad.” 

Lexa nodded, while she read the ingredients on a certain pack of snacks. 

“I’m just gonna grab something from the chocolate and candy section and be back, anything you want in particular?” Clarke asked. 

“Oh, some sour punk for me,” Lexa said and Clarke went to fetch it. 

When Clarke got back to the aisle at which she left Lexa, there was another woman with her. She was blonde, skinnier than Clarke and even had make-up on, even though it was pretty early afternoon on a Sunday, Clarke thought. Clarke walked towards them when she noticed the girl stepping closer to Lexa. They were already close enough, Clarke thought. Lexa was laughing when the woman leaned in and whispered something in her ear, all the while keeping her hand on Lexa’s arm. Clarke was not enjoying this scene at all. 

“Ahem,” she coughed. 

“Clarke,” Lexa said, “meet Ontari, an old friend,” and before Lexa could go on to introduce Clarke to the woman, she spoke first.

“Ah, just an ‘old friend’ I see? Lexi, don’t lie to the girl.”

Clarke smiled awkwardly and put her hand out to Ontari, “Hi, I’m Clarke.” Lexa took hold of Clarke’s other hand when she felt it brush at hers. 

“Nice to meet you, Clarke. If you’ve had a chance to get this one in bed already, I don’t need to tell you how lucky you are.” Ontari remarked, this time running her finger down Lexa’s free arm, having not noticed the girls were holding hands. Lexa went red.

“Oh, I've had one too many chances and yea, how lucky I am.” She said snarkily. “I’m gonna go check these things out while the two of you catch up. It was nice to meet you, Ontari.” 

“Lex, see you outside,” Clarke said. She didn't wait for an answer but took their shopping basket and headed to check out. Lexa realised something was up. She would have chased Clarke that instant, but Ontari brought up the bar. Ontari had some money she was looking to invest and was wondering if Lexa wanted to sell a few shares. Right now she owned the bar with just Anya.

Lexa and Ontari spoke about the bar some more until Lexa was growing really impatient. She didn't wanna keep Clarke waiting too long. “Ontari, I'm sorry, I’ve got to go.”

“Oh no, that’s alright, I'm flying out this week, in case you wanna maybe, meet up and you know...” Ontari caught Lexa’s hand again. 

Lexa let go of it quickly. “No, Ontari, I'm with Clarke. She’s my girlfriend. I didn’t get a chance to mention it earlier.”

“What a shame,” Ontari remarked. “No worries, but think about what I'm willing to offer for a stake in the bar. And let me know soon. I’ll be in touch.”

Lexa nodded and bid her goodbye. When Lexa got outside, she saw Clarke standing by her bike, looking into her phone, both grocery bags hanging on her wrist. 

“Hey, babe, sorry about that,” Lexa said. 

Clarke looked up, “Yea no, I got it, let's go?”

Lexa wasn’t apologizing about having Clarke check out on her own. “Clarke, you alright?”

“Let’s go, Lex, we’ll talk about it at home,” Clarke said more assertively this time. 

Lexa knew not to push. So she nodded, got on her bike, and waited for Clarke to get on. Lexa took both the bags and placed them on the handles of her bike. 

Clarke sat behind her but didn’t hold her, she usually did. Instead, she was on her phone the whole way home. 

When they reached and Clarke got off the bike, she didn't wait for Lexa, she grabbed both the bags and walked inside, clearly fuming. 

Lexa braced herself. She got in, to the sight of Clarke emptying out the grocery bags and putting things into cupboards. 

“Clarke, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing”

“Clarke, look at me, what’s wrong?”

Clarke turned, “What’s wrong? Lexa, some girl you slept with before felt it absolutely okay to touch you like that in front of your girlfriend. And you’re asking me what’s wrong?”

“Clarke, she didn’t know, I told her after you had gone to check-out.” 

“That’s exactly my point, Lex, why didn’t she know! You introduced me as Clarke and you didn’t bother to say I’m your girlfriend.”

“Clarke, I was about to say it when she interrupted me to say something herself! I took your hand in mine so that she got the picture! How am I supposed to help if she was blind and she couldn’t see us holding hands! Should I have kissed you in front of her?”

“Should you have kissed me in front of her?," Clarke's volume got higher now, "Well why not? It would have been better than you blushing at the fact that she casually mentioned the two of you in bed, IN FRONT OF YOUR GIRLFRIEND!” Clarke was screaming now.

“God, no, Clarke, I wasn't blushing thinking of her. I was thinking about how many more times I’ve slept with you than her. She has absolutely no idea!” Lexa was trying her best. She really was. She didn't know what was the right thing to say or do.

“Oh save it, Lexa, you should have given her an idea.” Clarke stormed out of the kitchen and went upstairs. She was furious. Lexa heard a door shut and she guessed Clarke must have gone to her own room. 

Lexa sighed in frustration. How is she gonna salvage this situation? It was her fault. She owed Clarke an apology. But Clarke wasn't having it. Clarke wasn’t even willing to look at her right now. How was she gonna make it up to her?

Lexa called the one person she knew would be able to help. 

Well, she hoped Raven would help, there was a good chance Raven would come over to beat Lexa up. 

***

Clarke shut the door behind her and lay down face first on her bed. She wasn’t going to cry, but every time she got angry, it was a little overwhelming. She did have temper issues she knew, and she probably got madder than she should have. But she was feeling really upset right now so she decided to take a nap. She was hungry, she could feel her stomach rumble but she was not gonna go down again and have Lexa make up some more sorry excuses. 

So Clarke slept. 

***

When Clarke woke up, she saw a couple of missed calls from Raven. She called her back.

“Hey Rae, you called?”, Clarke spoke, voice still a little husky from her sleep. She checked the time, it was 6 PM. 

“Yea, your girlfriend called me up and she was sounding pretty panicked. She said she upset you and she wanted to know how she could make it up to you. How long have you been in your room?” 

Clarke sighed. The afternoon was coming back to her. She told Raven about the incident and as she narrated it, she realised how she overreacted. 

“I should go down and talk to her.” She rubbed at the bridge of her nose. “I think I just got really jealous, Rae,” Clarke admitted. 

“Clarke, the girl is head over heels in love with you, I don’t know if you guys have said the L-word to each other yet, but it’s there whether you care to admit it or not. I don’t think she’d even look at another girl while she’s with you. Anya’s been talking to me about you two too, she’s told me she’s never seen Lexa so whipped. Lexa’s only experience with a girlfriend has been Costia, and well, she wasn’t out for most of that relationship and the other half got over too soon, I’m sure she’s still navigating what it's like to have a girlfriend on her arm.”

It got Clarke thinking. “You’re right Rae, I got a little phased when I saw the girl Lexa was talking to. She was just so hot! I mean, if I was in Lexa’s place, I wouldn’t have fallen for me.”

“You crazy, girl? You’re the bomb, Lexa got lucky.” Raven teased. 

“Oh shut up, okay I gotta go, I think I’ve spent too much time in my room, she must be going crazy.” 

“Alright, bye.”

“Raven wait, what are you doing Wednesday?”

“Umm, nothing special. Why?

“Come over, let’s watch something together.”

“Uh, sure. Cool. I’ll be there.”

If Raven could help Lexa out in trying to make it up to her, Clarke could help Anya out with her surprise for Raven. 


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32**

When Clarke came downstairs she was struck by a cheesy aroma filling her nostrils. She couldn't mistake that for anything else.   
Raven gave Lexa her weakness. Mac & Cheese. 

“Lex?”

When Lexa turned around, she smiled softly, not knowing if Clarke was still angry at her. 

“Clarke, hey, are you okay, sit down, I need to talk to you.” Lexa untied her waist apron and came towards Clarke, she led her to one of the stools and she was about to start speaking when Clarke pulled her lips to hers.

When Clarke let her lips go, Lexa looked so confused. 

“Wow, Raven wasn’t kidding when she said that Mac & cheese intoxicates you,” Lexa said, very seriously, brows furrowed in concern.

Clarke blushed, “Lex, me first, I’m sorry, I overreacted, I got really jealous when I saw you talking to her and my mind went into overdrive, making up a lot of shit and I just took it all out on you. I’m sorry, I shouldn't have been so hard on you and I shouldn’t have screamed and yelled like a maniac.”

“Clarke, babe, no, you have every right to be angry, I should have shooed her advances away. God if someone had to touch you like that in front of me, I would have lost my cool too.” Lexa admitted. She clearly had enough time to think of it from Clarke’s point of view too. 

Clarke chuckled. “But jealous, Clarke? You’ve got to be kidding.” Clarked looked down now, a little embarrassed. “Were you affected by her touching me? Or the fact that I was talking to her?”

Clarke looked away. She didn’t know how to say it. She looked down then between them. “Lex, she was so beautiful, and her body was so perfect. And she had her makeup on and she was making you laugh, like she told you the dirtiest or the funniest thing in the world.” 

Lexa lifted her chin up so the blonde was looking into her eyes. “Clarke, you are the most beautiful girl I’ve known, on the outside and more importantly, on the inside. You’re smart, you’re funny,” she brushed her nose against Clarke’s “you’re sexy,” she placed her palms on both sides of Clarke’s waist. “you’re so considerate, you're fierce. God, you’re a goddess in bed, and in these last couple of weeks, you’ve come to mean so much to me. I’d be a fool to look at another woman.” 

Clarke nodded slightly, forehead touching Lexa’s. “Clarke, I promised you I would not hurt you intentionally. Today, I'm promising you that if I do hurt you unintentionally, that I will do what it takes to fix us. Clarke, I… you’re you and that’s everything I’ll ever want.”

“Lex, Waffles! You’re gonna make me cry now.” Lexa giggled at Clarke’s timing. 

Clarke continued, “You didn’t hurt me, babe, I think I’ve just got some insecurities I’ve gotta deal with. I trust you, I just don’t trust all these girls you've slept with, who think they have a chance with you. I’m not letting you go.” Clarke kissed Lexa and Lexa kissed her back. 

“Well, I can help you with that, tell me what you’re insecure about and let me help you get over it.” Lexa offered, very mischievously, as she leaned in to kiss Clarke’s neck.

“Not right now babe, not when there's Mac & Cheese in the oven. I’m too hungry to care about anything else. Bring me my dinner or I’ll yell at you again.” Clarke ordered. 

Lexa feigned annoyance, she dropped her jaw dramatically and let go of Clarke’s waist. Clarke laughed at her antics and slapped her shoulder lightly. She kissed her cheek and pushed her towards the oven. 

They shared their meal together and then headed out for a walk in the evening. 

***

*Wednesday*

Raven was in her PJs snacking on a bowl of popcorn with Clarke beside her digging into the same bowl of popcorn while watching something on Netflix. 

The movie had just gotten over when Raven asked, "By the way, where’s your girl? How come she didn't wanna watch with us?”

Right then the doorbell rang and Clarke went to get it. Raven took a handful of popcorn and stuffed it into her mouth. Lexa was used to this sight on her couch so Raven wasn’t the least bothered. 

But when Lexa entered with Anya, Raven had no face to show. Her eyes widened, and she said something that no one understood. 

“Raven,” Anya said, “Hi, I didn’t know you were coming over.”

Raven nodded, tried to chew faster and finally managed to say, “Well, you didn't mention you were gonna be in town.” It was almost accusatory. 

Lexa and Clarke looked from one to the other. 

“I was gonna surprise you but you surprised me in return. Well, surprise, then,” Anya shrugged. Lexa had never seen this side of Anya. It was awkward as fuck. 

Raven smirked. “Surprise!”

“Raven’s staying for dinner, An. You should go freshen up, rest a bit and come join us,” Clarke said. 

“I am?” Raven stated, looking at Clarke. “Uh, okay, but only if Lexa’s cooking,” Raven announced. 

Clarke rolled her eyes. 

Anya smiled, “I’ll be right back.” 

Anya went upstairs to shower, tired from the flight and the ride back with Lexa. She was glad to see Raven though, sooner than she planned to see her. She was contemplating if today was the right time to ask Raven on a date. She was gonna be in town only till Sunday, so she really didn’t wanna waste any time. She made up her mind, she’ll get herself together and if she gets Raven sometime alone this evening, she’d ask her. 

They had been talking every day. Chatting every night. They’d sexted twice already. They both knew what they were moving towards. So she was feeling a little confident. 

When Anya stepped out of her room, she had just shut the door behind her when Raven came upstairs. 

“Oh, hey, I was just up to use the bathroom, I'll use Clarke’s,” Raven said, nervously. 

“Oh, go ahead and use mine,” Anya led Raven into her room. 

Anya paced around her bed till Raven got out. She should ask her now, while they’re both upstairs, she thought. She didn't think she'd get a chance with Raven alone again after they both headed downstairs. 

When Raven got out and saw Anya pacing, she purposely shut the bathroom door to make sure Anya realised she had just got out. “Let’s go downstairs?” Raven offered. 

“Yea, let's,” Anya said, 'let's?' she questioned herself. Raven was just about to get out the door when Anya said “Wait, Raven.”

Raven turned around and quickly brought Anya’s lips to hers, with both her hands holding Anya's face. Anya was stunned at first but failed to open her eyes. But then Raven herself broke the kiss. Raven only pulled back cause she didn’t know if Anya wanted to kiss her back. And she just sprung up on her, but God, the girl she was crushing on was right there, next to her and she had just said her name so beautifully, Raven couldn't just turn around and do nothing. 

Anya didn't waste any time though, in placing her hands on Raven’s hips to make sure she doesn't step away. Anya kissed her again, getting rid of the sudden distance Raven put between their lips and really wanting to kiss her more. 

Anya couldn’t believe it at first. She was kissing Raven Reyes. The girl she was hoping to take on a date so that she could kiss her in a better setting. But here she was, lips locked with hers and she wasn’t regretting anything. 

They kissed for a few more seconds. Then they both pulled apart a little.

Anya spoke first, “Raven, go out with me”.

Raven nodded. “Yea,” looking between Anya’s eyes and her lips. 

Anya continued, “tomorrow?”

“No,” Raven said, still a little dazed. 

Anya looked confused. Raven broke out of her daze when Anya’s expression changed. 

“No, I mean, not tomorrow, I’ll be late at work. How about Friday?”

Anya nodded and smiled. 

Raven spoke again, “Sorry, I’ve wanted to kiss you for a while now, I should have warned you.”

Anya smirked, “Oh, I like surprises” and kissed her again.

They stayed like that for another minute or two and then decided to head downstairs to eat before Clarke and Lexa started assuming things. 

The four of them enjoyed their meal together. Raven royally took Clarke and Lexa’s case about the stupid fight they got into while Anya added on to how she expected it from Lexa. They video-called Octavia and Lincoln in the middle of dinner and caught them eating too. 

Lexa looked around at the people she was surrounded by and she was happy. She held onto Clarke’s hand below the table and Clarke looked at her and smiled. Lexa was grateful for Clarke. 

Clarke saw it in her eyes. She leaned in and kissed Lexa on her cheek.


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

The weeks that came saw the two of them getting closer. They were doing well with their routine and every once in awhile, they didn't mind breaking it. 

When Lexa got home one night, she couldn’t find Anya at home and Clarke was supposed to be at Raven's. So she texted Anya.

 **Lexa:** An, where are you?

 **Anya:** At Raven’s, thought we’d watch a movie together. 

Lexa knew that Anya and Raven had gone out on a date and they hit it off well. She was glad that the two were dating. 

**Lexa:** So the three of you are having a girl’s night without me?

 **Anya:** Uhm, Clarke’s at home, Alex. I traded the night with her. 

Lexa didn’t bother replying. 

She got out of her room and knocked at Clarke’s. “Clarke?”

Clarke opened the door and pulled Lexa in and shut it behind her. 

“Took you long enough to be here,” Clarke said. 

Lexa looked around and saw that Clarke had candles lighting the place up. The lights were off. She was wearing a…God, she was wearing a red lace lingerie set. 

“Wow,” Lexa said. 

“Come here,” Clarke said, pulling the girl towards her and onto the bed. 

***

When they were done, they both laid on their backs panting, naked and spent. 

“Surprise,” Clarke half whispered half panted. “Sorry, I was supposed to say that when I opened the door.” 

Lexa chuckled, still breathing too hard to say anything. 

***

Lexa had her own share of surprises for Clarke though and while they may not have been planned, they had their own charm. 

One lazy Sunday afternoon, Clarke was sitting on the sofa, leaning against one of the armrests, knees up towards her chest, reading a book. She didn’t bother getting out of her pyjamas and was going to shower only later in the day because she was too lazy to move right now. She was in her nightshirt and her shorts. 

Lexa was moving about the house, dusting, cleaning, Aden was getting in her way, so she spoke to him sternly, “Aden, go sit with Clarke. I’m cleaning here.”

At that Clarke called out to him, made some sounds and lured him to her lap. She pet him while she read and the sight of it made Lexa feel warm inside. She could have this. She could live with this. She wanted this.

She continued to dust when she had an idea. It might have been the most impulsive decision she’s made, but it was time. 

She plugged her phone into the speakers, took a deep breath and hit play. Clarke was so engrossed in her book that she didn’t even realise Lexa was approaching her. When Lexa got nearer, Aden crawled off Clarke and found a cosy corner. Clarke looked up from her book to see Lexa’s hand outstretched. 

“Dance with me,” Lexa said.

“Lex, are you alright?” Clarke asked suspiciously, with a slight chuckle.

“Clarke, get up, dance with me, please?” She tried again. 

Clarke put her book down and took Lexa’s hand, willing to give in to Lexa’s crazy Sunday afternoon Ideas. Lexa led her to the centre of the living room. She reached up for Clarke’s glasses, took them off and placed them on the coffee table. Then she took Clarke’s hands and placed them on her shoulders, while she kept both her hands on Clarke’s waist. 

The song that was playing was not lost on Clarke. Rod Stewart’s “Have I told you lately that I love you?” 

She looked into Lexa’s eyes and saw a softness she has never seen before, she had a few times, but this was different, there was something more beautiful about it. Who was she kidding, everytime she looked into Lexa's eyes, she discovered more about the girl.

They swayed to the music. Lexa sang some of the words softly, just loud enough for Clarke to hear it. Clarke watched intently, flitting her gaze to Lexa’s eyes and then her lips mouthing each word that she knew so well. Clarke was floating. She’s never felt this relaxed before, this at-home, this comfortable. This… loved. This...in love.

_For the morning sun and all its glory_   
_Greets the day with hope and comfort too_   
_You fill my life with laughter and somehow you make it better_   
_Ease my troubles, that's what you do_

Clarke had a soft smile on her face. She loved how Lexa could take an ordinary Sunday afternoon and make it so special. She loved how Lexa could do these small things and fill her heart so much. She loved… Lexa. She knew it for a while now. She was just waiting for the right time to say it, she was hoping to do something big, make it an occasion. But here she was in the arms of the girl she has fallen for, who makes every small moment a big occasion. 

_Have I told you lately that I love you?_   
_Have I told you there's no one else above you?_   
_Fill my heart with gladness, take away all my sadness_   
_Ease my troubles, that's what you do_

Lexa looked into Clarke’s eyes and sang sweetly. She could get lost in those blues. She sang some lines more dramatically than others, making Clarke laugh. 

When the song finished. Lexa waited a beat, took a breath, and then said, “Clarke, I’m in love with you, I've not told you this yet. But I really really really love you. You fill my heart with gladness every day. And I just couldn’t keep this to myself.”

Clarke smiled, she leaned in and placed a chaste kiss on Lexa’s lips and when she pulled back, Lexa’s eyes were just about opening, when Clarke said it back, “Lex, I love you too. I’ve been in love with you for a while now.” Lexa bit her lip at that. 

She had been hoping Clarke felt it too, she just didn’t think Clarke would respond immediately. 

“I was hoping to say it to you in a better setting, though. Thought I'd plan it. Make it big,” Clarke laughed. “But look at you, this is exactly why I fall in love with you every day, Lex. You fill my heart in every waking moment,” Clarke leaned in and kissed Lexa again. This time they kissed longer, but slowly, still standing in the middle of the room, with music playing in the background. 

Aden meowed at their feet. And their kiss broke with the interruption. Lexa sighed, Clarke just giggled and picked him up. 

“He’s the neediest cat I’ve known.” Lexa exasperated, letting go of Clarke’s waist now that Aden was where Clarke's attention was. 

“Excuse me, you’re needy too!” Clarke retorted, now holding Aden in her arms and petting him.

“Yea, well I’m allowed to be needy around you, you’re my girlfriend.” Lexa replied. Now picking up her duster, turning around, ready to continue cleaning.

Suddenly she felt Clarke hold on to her wrist and then lean in close to her ear. Clarke whispered, “Aden may be needy, but he’s not the pussy I enjoy giving my love to.” 

Lexa froze. Clarke was talking dirty to her. This wasn’t new, but this was in the middle of the afternoon, in the middle of her living room, with Clarke in her Pjs and Lexa holding out a duster. This felt all kinds of new and all kinds of stimulating. 

Lexa turned to look at Clarke but was met with the sight of Clarke sauntering away towards the staircase. 

“Clarke,” Lexa called. “That’s not fair, you can’t say things like that and just walk off,”

Clarke was already at the top of the stairs, so she called back, “Tonight, Lex. I promise.” 

Okay, Lexa thought to herself, tonight then. For now, she looked at Aden, who didn’t care for her attention at the moment. She wondered if Aden liked Clarke more than her, despite being HER cat. 

Lexa looked around to make sure Clarke was indeed not anywhere nearby to hear what she was gonna say next. 

“She’s mine. You hear that, you needy cat” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three chapters for today. My next update will have 6. Hope you guys are enjoying these. I've got some angst lined up but as I said, I'm new to fan fiction. So all your love in the comments really encourages me. I appreciate it a lot. Thank for all the Kudos too!


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi ya'll. I've changed the rating and added a few tags. If you're particular about that, please take a look. If not and you don't like spoilers, don't even go there. Hahaha. Also, it's officially a month since I started posting and a little more since I started writing this fic. Thank you for being with me. I'm almost done writing this story and currently thinking of another one. If you have anything in mind that you'd like to see, let me know?

**Chapter 34**

For the next couple of weeks, the two of them were high on those three words- 'I love you'. They’d whisper it to each other till they fell asleep at night. Say it before Clarke left for work or when Lexa got back from work. They’d text it to each other, just cause they could. Lexa was glad, everything had been going great between her and Clarke, better than she thought. 

Anya was happy for her. Anya was happy herself. She and Raven hit it off well. They would go out on dates and Anya slept over at Raven’s a lot now, whenever she was in town. Raven would come over more often, even if Anya was not around, and it felt good to have more people she could trust. Clarke and Raven were a good addition to their lives and she was grateful. 

Her bar was thriving, it was pulling in more and more crowds and brands wanted to sponsor events. 

Ontari had texted her that she would drop in some time to meet with her. She had a business proposal that she would rather talk to her about in person. Lexa was interested in hearing her out. Ontari may have been one of the girls she slept with a long time ago, but she had her business right where she wanted it, on top of its game. If there was a plan that she had that would benefit Lexa’s bar, she wouldn’t mind hearing it. So she replied telling Ontari she could drop in the next day. 

It was movie night tonight and she was looking forward to snuggling up with Clarke with a rom-com on Netflix. 

When she got home, Clarke was in her shirt and her underwear and she was getting the popcorn ready. Anya was travelling again so they had the place to themselves. 

“Hey babe,” Clarke said. I was just getting the popcorn ready. “How was your day?” She sauntered over to Lexa, placed a kiss on her lips and then headed back to the kitchen counter.

“It was good, the bar’s really buzzing these days, you should come by some time,” Lexa offered. 

“And what? Watch you give everyone else your attention? While I wait at the bar for you to turn my way?” Clarke quipped amusingly while she placed the bag of popcorn into the microwave. 

Lexa went up behind Clarke, placed her hands on her waist, and whispered in her ear, “When you’re around, there’s nowhere else I’d look.” Lexa leaned down and kissed the side of Clarke’s neck and then her shoulder. Clarke closed her eyes for a moment, she let herself get lost in the feel of Lexa’s body pressed up against her. She loved the way Lexa enveloped her. Lexa’s hands moved from her waist to her stomach and then down to her hips. Clarke pushed her hips a little backward, pressing into Lexa’s front and she heard Lexa gasp. 

The sudden popping of the corn both them both out of their reverie. 

Clarke turned to face Lexa, she caught her jaw with one hand and kept the other hand on the counter behind her. Lexa was still holding on to her hips and leaning into her. 

“Go upstairs, freshen up, change into something more comfortable. If you don’t, we might not move from here right now and I was really looking forward to snuggling up with you and watching a movie.”

Lexa pushed her hips into Clarke a little more, happy that Clarke was leaning against the counter. Clarke's lips parted, she moved the hand that was cupping Lexa’s jaw behind the girl's neck. Lexa leaned into Clarke’s ear and whispered, “What a pity, I was so close to taking you here, on the counter.” She heard Clarke catch her breath. Then she pulled away, teasingly. 

“I’ll be back, Clarke. I’ll take a shower and be back. I really want to watch.” Lexa said as she smirked at Clarke and then continued, “the movie.” and then she headed upstairs. 

Clarke turned around and the microwave started beeping. She took the popcorn out but was distracted by the thought of Lexa ‘taking’ her on the counter. It was like Lexa wanted to claim her and that was making Clarke really hot. She thought back to the time they discussed their safe words and wondered if Lexa and she were ever even gonna go there. She knew she wanted it, she trusted Lexa with all her heart now. But was Lexa ready?

The ache in her core right now for a very commanding Lexa was bothering her, how could this girl rile her up so much in a matter of minutes. She was gonna talk to Lexa about it. But for now, the movie. She steeled herself, took some deep breaths, tried to think of anything else, absolutely anything else. And then her phone rang, it was Raven.

“Oh thank God,” she sighed. She picked up the phone and answered it, knowing Raven will be a great distraction. 

“Hey Rae, what’s up? Got some gossip? How’s work going?” Clarke spoke so hurriedly. 

“Clarke, are you alright, you sound really…. on edge.” Raven questioned. 

“Uh, yea, no, I’m alright, what did you call about?” Clarke answered, trying to gain some normalcy in her voice. 

“Oh, nothing in particular, just thought I'd call to chat. Am I disturbing something?” 

“No, not at all,” Clarke took their big bowl of popcorn to the sofa and sat down. “So, what’s up, how are things going?”

“Everything’s great. Just had some free time so thought I’d check in on you. How’s Lexa? Please tell me y'all have slowed down on the ‘I love yous’ it’s getting a little sickening now.” Raven complained. 

“Oh Shuuu! Things are great. Movie night tonight and then maybe some… I don't know, if she’s up for it, then maybe some sex.”

“Uh-huh, when are you two not having sex! Don’t answer that, that was rhetoric. Okay, coming down to why I really called you now.” Raven said. 

Clarke stuffed her mouth with some popcorn and replied, “Yea?”

“Anya and I finally had sex, the day before she left this time,” Raven said. 

“What! You guys have done it just once? Are you kidding me, Raven? Am I still talking to Raven?” Clarke mused. 

“Oh shut up, And I wouldn't call it once. It was one night. But um... it was all night. It’s different with her, Clarke. I actually thought she wanted me in bed sooner. But she didn’t insinuate it ever. And I, well I would have initiated it after our first few kisses. But we always, very naturally, just fell into some conversation or the other. And God is she charming!” Raven sighed. 

“But she spends so much time at your place. All those movie nights. Ya’ll actually watched?” Clarke asked very condescendingly.

“Well, yea, until of course, we started kissing, then we’d just make out and snuggle,” Raven responded. 

“Anya’s a snuggler??? WTF, she doesn't come across that way one bit!” Clarke was not really that shocked, but she loved to exaggerate. 

Lexa was a big snuggler. Boy, she loved to snuggle more than she kissed. 

“You judged her too quickly, Clarke. Anyway, the sex was... mind-blowing and by that I mean, my body was sore the next day. She just took charge, owned the night and had me spent. Like I’m so tempted to go after her, travel down to her just to do it again.. But I’m not as horny as you and your girlfriend, so no, I’m not gonna do it.” Raven scolded herself. 

Clarke laughed, “I wouldn’t judge you if you did” she offered. 

“Don’t encourage this, Clarke. Anyway, get back to your movie night. I just had to tell you I was getting some. Do me a favour, talk to Lexa about this, add some dirty details of your own! Oh, how annoyed she would be to hear about her sister hahahahaha!” Raven laughed out loud. 

“You’re evil, you know!” Clarke mused. 

“Oh please, you love me” Okay bye now!”

“Bye”

Clarke hadn't even noticed when Lexa had come back downstairs. But there she was, head in the fridge, taking out some wine and pouring it into two glasses. 

“Raven?” Lexa asked. 

“Yea, how’d you know?” Clarke asked back. 

“I heard you say ‘Anya’s a snuggler’ when I came back downstairs and I knew I didn't wanna hear any more so I just made my way to the kitchen,” Lexa said. 

She sat down beside Clarke and then picked up the remote. “Yea, did you know Raven and Anya have had sex just once, like just before Anya left this time?” Clarke asked. 

“Yea? Great! Anya told me she was waiting, she was actually nervous. God, I never thought I'd see the day! She didn’t want Raven to think she was only after her physically. She wanted Raven to like her back enough and she wanted to be sure.” 

“Hmmmm,” Clarke chimed. “You never waited,” Clarke said matter of factly.

At that Lexa turned her face towards Clarke, confused. “Are we comparing?”

“No, I'm kidding! God, thank heaven that you didn’t fucking wait, I would have dated your sister if you kept me hanging like that for too long.” Clarke said with a smirk.

Lexa turned herself almost entirely to her, “What?” 

“I’m kidding, I'm kidding, God, I love how jealous you get,” Clarke leaned in and kissed Lexa. Lexa’s kiss felt tense. She kissed her until she finally felt Lexa calm down and relax a bit. “I’m sorry, I didn't mean to upset you,” she meant it. She didn't think Lexa would get so affected by that statement. 

“No, I’m okay, just the thought of you with anyone else right now gets me a little tense, let alone my sister,” Lexa responded, truthfully. 

“Oh babe, no, I would never, I told you I was kidding, I love you too much to even think about anyone else.” Lexa nodded. And then Clarke took a pause before she spoke again. “You know what, we haven't spoken about this, but if it makes you feel better, I’d like us to say it out loud so it’s real enough.”  
Lexa looked at her quizically. 

“I’d like for us to be exclusive. Like, we’re dating now, you’re my girlfriend and I’m yours, I want you to trust that I’m not interested in anyone else.” Clarke said. 

“Same,” Lexa nodded. “Clarke, I hope you trust me too, I want us to be exclusive too.”

Clarke smiled, relieved. Lexa added, “And I love you, so much” 

“I love you too.” Clarke smiled at her, looked into her eyes and then leaned in for a chaste kiss.   
  
With that now out of the way, they finally settled into the couch to watch the movie. 


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35**

By the time they had reached the end of the movie. Lexa was leaning against the armrest of the couch with her legs apart. Clarke was leaning against Lexa’s chest, using it as her pillow, half lying down on the brunette, but on her side so she was still facing the television. Lexa was comfortable. But that was limited to as long as Clarke kept still. Every time Clarke moved even a little bit, Lexa could feel Clarke’s side grinding into her crotch. Lexa distracted herself by playing with Clarke’s soft, blonde hair. 

“I’m too comfortable now, I don’t want to move,” Clarke said when the movie came to an end. 

“Hmmm, yea, don’t,” Lexa replied. Trying hard to shift her focus from where Clarke’s bodyweight added the perfect pressure to her center. 

The answer was too quick and too short for Clarke to accept. She lifted herself a little and looked into Lexa’s eyes. “Ha! You’ve been getting more out of this position than me, haven’t you, Lex!” 

“What? No!” Lexa’s immediate answer was. And she sat up, effectively moving out of the position they were in.

“Oh shut up, don’t lie, It’s in your eyes!” Clarke said mischievously, beside her. She turned herself to face Lexa, who was now facing the television, and sat on her heels. She then placed her hand in between Lexa’s crotch to cup her and watched how Lexa visibly tensed. 

“I was right!” she chirped. And before Lexa could say anything, Clarke straddled her, captured Lexa’s lips between hers and kissed her passionately, grinding against her to exert some pressure where Lexa wanted it the most. 

Lexa moved her hands down Clarke’s back and then grabbed her ass. She squeezed her ass cheeks first and caught Clarke’s gasp between their kiss. And then she pulled Clarke’s hips towards her more firmly. 

Clarke paused their kiss and pulled her face away, keeping it just in front of Lexa’s. Lexa’s eyes were telling, they’d gone darker. Her lips were kiss swollen. She was exuding something wild right now and Clarke wanted her. But Clarke knew she needed something more, and that something more was beginning to show.

“Lex, I want you.” She said. 

Lexa leaned in and kissed her more fiercely this time. Clarke took it. She took it, but it wasn’t enough. She pulled Lexa’s face away. “Lex, wait, I want..." Clarke's gaze shifted from Lexa's eyes to her lips and back up again while her hands remained one, in at the back of her neck and the other moved from Lexa's neck, down her collar bone to rest on her chest, "...The Commander.”

She watched as Lexa’s eyes grew dark, full of lust, full of desire, she saw a fire in them she hadn’t seen before and then it changed in one blink, “Clarke, babe, no,”

Clarke knew this wouldn't happen without a little work“Lex, please, I really want to try it, and you said we could one day, and I really need you that way.” Clarke implored.

Lexa looked into her eyes, searching, “you can’t be sure, Clarke, you’ve never done it before, you don’t know what you’re asking. We can have sex like we normally do, it’s not such a big deal.” 

“Lex, I've never been more sure, I need you, and I want this, I trust you okay, but I really need you to own me right now.” With that, Clarke took Lexa’s hand and placed it cupping Clarke’s underwear. "I fucking need you that way."

Lexa felt it, Clarke’s underwear was soaked. Was Clarke building herself up during the movie? Clarke saw Lexa’s confusion. 

“In the kitchen earlier, you said, you were close to taking me on the counter. It hasn't left my mind since. I want you to take me, Lexa, take what you want from me.” Clarke said it so earnestly. So innocently. But Lexa knew there was nothing innocent about it. And she understood. Everyone had their moments. 

“Don’t you want me that way, as badly as I want you?” Clarke asked, in a much deeper voice now, she was growing restless, she added a grind of her hips to the moment. It was doing all sorts of things to Lexa. But she steeled herself and had to make sure. 

“Clarke, if you want this, I need to know first, do you remember your safe word?” Lexa held Clarke’s face in both her hands, looking into her eyes. Clarke nodded. “I remember but I’m not gonna say it cause you’d change your mind then," Clarke said with much hope and amusement.

Lexa smiled. They both knew what a turn off it was to hear ‘Alex’ in Anya’s voice. 

And then Lexa nodded, “I do want you, Clarke, I’ve wanted you in every way. You’re mine, these lips, this body,” she trailed her hands down Clarke’s body, sliding over her breasts, her stomach and down to her vagina, “this beautiful,” she circled her clit over her underwear, “wet” she cupped her vagina again, “pussy”, she cupped it harder now, earning a gasp from Clarke, “all mine.”

Clarke was a writhing mess on top of Lexa, she was on her knees, straddling the brunette, her hands were on Lexa’s shoulders and her neck was thrown back. “Lex, fuck.” Clarke whimpered. 

And just like that, Lexa leaned in to kiss Clarke, she brought her face to hers and then kissed her passionately. She needed to warm Clarke up a little. This was gonna be a long night. So she made Clarke sit on her lap, still straddling her. She helped Clarke relax her body first, with gentle touches and then with more purposeful ones. “Lex, are you going easy with me?” Clarke said between laboured breaths, cause you better not, I told you I want this,” 

“Shhhhh, babe, trust me, I know what you want, be patient,” Lexa replied between kisses down her neck and up the side of it. After some more touching, petting, fondling, squeezing and teasing, Lexa figured it was time. She stopped kissing Clarke. 

Her hands went down to Clarke’s ass and she gripped it firmly. Taking her time to squeeze them while Clarke kissed her. Lexa placed her hands on Clarke’s waist and lifted her, so Clarke was on her knees, still straddling her, but not grinding down. Clarke placed her palms on Lexa’s shoulders and watched. Lexa ran a finger over Clarke’s underwear, starting from below, lightly, all the way up to her clit. It was over her underwear, but it had Clarke’s lips quivering. Lexa did it again, but this time, she looked up at Clarke and saw when a shiver ran down Clarke’s spine. She cupped Clarke’s sex again, over her underwear and pushed upwards and she saw when Clarke rounded her lips and whimpered with a soft “Oh” 

Lexa let go of her hold and then lifted Clarke’s tshirt. She kissed her belly, then her ribs and finally got to her breast. Clarke’s fingers were still on Lexa’s shoulders, but when Lexa began sucking her nipples, Clarke brought her hands to the back of Lexa’s head to keep it in place.

Lexa stopped. She took Clarke’s hands and placed it back on her shoulders. “Clarke, I know what you need. I will take what I need first.” And with that. Lexa took Clarke’s shirt off, pulling it over her. And she made sure Clarke’s hands were on her shoulders. She took a stiff nipple into her mouth and she pinched the other one between her fingers. She allowed the tip of her tongue to flick the nipple again and again inside her mouth. She heard Clarke whimper and then felt it as Clarke tried to lower herself to grind on Lexa. Lexa held her back up by the waist. 

“God, Lex,” Clarke whimpered. She wasn’t going to come yet, but at the pace Lexa was going, it was driving her crazy. She just needed Lexa to touch her down there and she’d be a mess. It’s no wonder Lexa’s not going for the kill yet. She was asserting her power. God, that was sexy, Clarke thought. 

Lexa slipped a finger underneath Clarke and moved her underwear a little and dip her finger in. Clarke was anticipating some relief. But all she got was a finger in and then a finger out. Lexa was only checking how wet she was. 

Clarke didn’t know what conclusion Lexa drew. But the next thing she felt was Lexa’s hands taking hers and holding them behind Clarke's back. 

She guided Clarke to sit on her lap. Looks like Lexa was having pity on her knees. What she really needed was some pity on her vagina. 

“Clarke, you will not grind or derive any pleasure of your own. I will tell you when you’re allowed to.” Lexa said into Clarke’s ear, still holding Clarke’s hands behind her. 

Clarke nodded. 

Lexa set off, kissing at Clarke’s neck, too tender for the moment. Clarke decided she needed to calm down if she was gonna last through this. She tried taking deep breaths, to gain her composure and to not drift too much to the edge. But Lexa’s kisses on her neck were growing into nibbles and then they became bites. Lexa was marking her. She felt a new pool of wetness. She hoped Lexa would check now, maybe then she’d see Clarke was ready. 

But Lexa didn't, she started biting lower now, down Clarke’s collar bone and then her chest. She bit into the side of Clarke’s breast and Clarke hissed. Lexa looked up immediately, needing to know she didn't draw blood and then at Clarke’s eyes, needing to know Clarke was still willing. Clarke was alright, she noted, her eyes though, darker than Lexa had ever seen. She set back to work. Bitting around Clarke’s chest. 

Clarke was loving this, but at the same time, not being able to use her hands to hold Lexa while she did these things to her, was making this much more difficult than she thought. Lexa wasn’t holding too tight around her wrists, so she thought she’d slip her hands out when Lexa was a little distracted. But the brunette was too aware when Clarke tried to release her hold, she held Clarke’s wrists behind her back tighter now, more forceful. And Clarke bent her neck back, cause God, Lexa was only at her nipples and she was already driving her insane. 

“Oh Lex, fuck, fuck me”

Lexa looked up and decided to have some fun. “You will not call me Lex or Lexa until I tell you you can. For now, I'm your Commander, Miss Griffin.” 

Clarke smirked, in spite of the state she was in, she saw the mischief in Lexa’s eyes and she didn’t miss the ‘Your’ before the real word they’d been discussing. 

“Yes, _MY_ commander” She responded. 

The ‘My’ rang in Lexa’s ears. She let go of her wrists, wrapped one arm around Clarke’s waist and brought her closer. She wrapped the other arm around Clarke's ass and then lifted them both off the sofa. 

Clarke felt it, the friction she needed. It was right between her thighs. Lexa’s middle. But Lexa gave her a look of warning just before she was about to start grinding. Lexa whispered in Clarke’s ear. "I wouldn't waste that wet pussy on my clothes, Clarke.”   
  
Clarke closed her eyes and surrendered. Lexa knew what she was doing. She just needed to follow along. 

“Yes, commander,”

“That’s my girl,” Lexa said, as she walked them both towards the kitchen and placed Clarke on the narrow side of the island counter. 


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36**

Clarke initially thought Lexa was taking her upstairs when they got off the sofa, but Lexa was too full of surprises. 

Lexa reached down and pushed Clarke’s underwear aside at the bottom to test how wet Clarke was again. She was not disappointed. 

Lexa hooked her fingers into the waistband of Clarke’s underwear and then dragged the garment off her legs. She allowed Clarke a moment to get used to her bare skin on the cold countertop. She kept her eyes on the girl as she slipped her own clothes off. 

It didn’t dawn on Clarke earlier, but Lexa had managed a very commanding appearance even in those silly unicorn PJs. God, she was whipped. 

When Lexa stood before Clarke naked, Clarke unknowingly, on instinct, slipped her hands in between her legs to touch her clit. In a moment, Lexa was at her again, holding her wrist. 

“What do you think you’re doing, Clarke?” 

Before Clarke could answer, Lexa spoke again. “I told you to trust me, I will give you what you need. Be patient. Got it? Or there will be consequences.”

“Got it,” Clarke said, submissively. 

Lexa raised an eyebrow. 

“Got it, Commander” Clarke spoke. It's going to get really difficult to stick to this role she thought. 

“Good girl, Clarke.” Lexa mused. She paced in front of Clarke with her own hands behind her back. The kind of discipline Clarke was not expecting from Lexa when she was naked, sitting on the kitchen counter. 

“Now, scoot behind a little, bend your knees, keep your legs spread and keep your heels on the edge of the counter. Lexa helped her into position. And then went back to pacing. She tried not to get distracted by the dripping pussy before her. Clarke was gorgeous, a dark pink, almost red now, glistening in the light of the kitchen. God, she didn't think she’d be able to do this. She reminded herself that her girlfriend asked for this, so she’s gonna give her exactly what she wants. 

“Clarke, I need you to co-operate with me if we’re gonna do this right. And by co-operate, I mean you need to do as I say.” Lexa said as she got closer. “Any defaults will earn you a punishment.” At that Lexa, outlined the side of Clarke’s ass, eyes on her own finger. “And I won't be responsible for what you have called upon yourself, Clarke. And I cannot promise you that it will be easy.” Lexa said it very matter of factly as she feather-touched Clarke’s ass from the side to her centre. “Got it?”

Was Lexa going to spank her? Clarke wondered. The thought made her dizzy. Fuck, she really wanted to not co-operate at least once to see what this punishment was. Lexa was driving her insane. “Yes, my commander,” she answered, thinking about the porn she’s seen before and about the books and the cosmopolitan articles she's read about why some women love spanking, and she wondered if she would like it. 

“Good, now back to business,” Lexa said, and brought Clarke out of her fantasies and into one that was turning into a reality. 

Clarke just now understood what Lexa was doing. She was pacing her. Allowing her body to come down so she can take it up again. God, she was good. 

Lexa took both of Clarke’s hands and placed it on Clarke’s knees. She pushed Clarke’s knees further open so Clarke could see Lexa between them. “You will not lift your hands from here.” Then Lexa dipped one finger between Clarke’s folds and brought it up to her lips. Clarke watched. 

Lexa’s eyes closed at the taste of Clarke’s wetness on her lips. She almost forgot what she was doing, when she had to jump back into her role. “Just how I like it,” Lexa said and smirked, "But it's not quite enough."

Before Clarke knew it. Lexa was kissing her inner thigh. She held onto Clarke’s hips and dug in. Lexa took her time, kissing and biting over Clarke’s thighs, driving the blonde insane. When she came to Clarke’s centre, she licked softly, it wasn't enough for Clarke. She needed more pressure, more friction. She tried bucking her hips upwards, But Lexa’s hold on her kept her in place. 

Clarke decided to try her luck, she took her hand off her knee and brought it to Lexa’s head. Lexa stopped. Clarke’s eyes shot open. She knew what she was doing, she didn't think Lexa would notice. “Clarke, that’s strike one,” Lexa placed Clarke’s hand back on her knee, “I will get to your punishment later, for now, I will take what I want from you.” Clarke arched her back when Lexa licked her again. 

“And what about what I want, my commander.” Her cry came out more desperate that she wanted it too, she really was just testing the brunette, teasing almost, trying to get an answer out of her, trying to move her out of her role. Lexa looked up into her eyes, “I know what you want, baby girl, and you’ll get it, if you’re patient. Do I have to remind you who is in control here, if you slip up too much, I’ll make sure I’m the only one coming tonight,” Lexa warned and was about to go back to her task when she looked up again. “Clarke, don’t try to go after your orgasm yourself, you don’t want to try me.”

Lexa went back to Clarke’s pussy. ‘Oh I can't wait to try you,’ Clarke thought. There was no speaking for the next 10 minutes. Clarke’s body had now gotten accustomed to the coolness of the countertop. Her body was in fact burning with desire. Lexa was working her up slowly, and every time she found Clarke’s centre clenching because of her tongue she would slow down again. She took Clarke’s clit in her mouth and that pulled a string of expletives from Clarke’s mouth. She even took Lexa’s name once but Lexa was too busy to notice. When Clarke was breathing hard and Lexa’s back was probably giving out, over bedding over her, Lexa drew back. Now with her finger, she lightly pressed into Clarke’s centre and Clarke immediately felt a tightening in her abdomen, oh she was so ready. 

Lexa slipped out. “Strike two, Clarke. Don’t think I didn't hear you say my name. Don’t say it until I tell you, your lips have more important things to do tonight.” And with that. Lexa took Clarke’s ankles and brought them down, allowing Clarke to have her legs dangling from the countertop. 

“Sit up, baby girl.” Lexa said. So Clarke sat. She was restless now. She needed release some way or the other. Without realising it, she had begun to press herself onto the kitchen counter, legs still spread, arching her back. Lexa walked over to her and placed her hands on Clarke’s waist. “Not so fast, aren’t you a desperate one!” Clarke was getting visibly frustrated. Lexa cupped Clarke’s sex again and pulled upward on it. Clarke closed her eyes, she could come right now, if Lexa just held on for 5, 4, 3, 2, Lexa let go of her.”

“Ughh, Lexa, fuck me already,” Clare half whimpered, half complained. Lexa stepped back. 

Her face grew serious. “Strike three, Clarke. Your punishment will be in the bedroom.” 

Lexa turned around and walked towards the wall opposite the kitchen counter. “Come here, Clarke.”

Clarke got off the counter. Her legs were sore from being so still on the counter. But she made her way towards Lexa. “Yes, my commander.”


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter 37**

“Kneel down, Clarke.” Clarke obeyed. Her eyes were now on Lexa’s vagina. But she looked up, fearing Lexa would call her out on looking before she said that she could.

Lexa leaned back against the wall, she slipped her hand through Clarke’s hair and brought her face close to Lexa’s pussy. 

“Smell that, Clarke?” 

God, Lexa was really doing this, she was really going to treat Clarke the way she wanted. “Yes commander, may I?” Clarke looked up pleadingly. 

Lexa’s eyes grew lustful again. She spread her legs a little and brought Clarke’s head between her legs. Clarke knew what she had to do. But Lexa stopped her just before she was about to dig in. 

“Clarke, before you begin, let me remind you, your pleasure is in my hands and what you give me now will decide your fate tonight.”

“My commander, your satisfaction is my pleasure. Do with me as you please.” Clarke responded. It might have been a little more than Lexa expected of her, but if they were gonna do roles, Clarke could try.

Lexa hoped that no look of amusement showed on her face, because God, Clarke was good. 

Clarke knew what she just did. She submitted, wholly, verbally, physically and that would invariably do things to Lexa. 

She was not wrong. 

Lexa did well in holding herself up, she rode Clarke’s face skillfully. Clarke reached in with her tongue and lapped all of Lexa’s juices and then pulled more from her. Lexa lifted one leg over Clarke's shoulder and leaned her back and head against the wall. Clarke held her with a tight grip and ate her out senseless. One was not enough for Lexa, she rode two orgasms out with Clarke under her. They came quickly, one just a few minutes after the other. But they were god-sent. They were Clarke sent. Clarke was heaven sent.

‘Stop it, Lexa, don’t get mushy now, think dirty, stay in your role’ she thought to herself. 

She focused on the feeling of Clarke’s warm tongue between her folds, her nose touching her clit every once in a while. The sounds coming from below her, as Clarke ate her out, as Clarke went at her like a predator feasting on their prey. Clarke was so good. Lexa kept one hand in Clarke’s hair, holding Clarke’s head to her pussy, having her do to her what she wanted, she stole as much pleasure as she could in the position, she used Clarke’s position for her pleasure, she used Clarke’s tongue, she rode it, she enjoyed the way Clarke was fucking her right now. 

Between her first and second orgasm, she looked down and saw one of Clarke’s hands around her leg. She didn't know what Clarke’s other hand was up to and she could only guess it was between Clarke’s own legs. She wanted to have pity on the girl, she really did, but she knew what she’d give Clarke at the end of it would be better than any half-assed orgasm Clarke would give herself right now. The thought of Clarke trying to pleasure herself secretly though, right below Lexa’s nose, drove her higher much faster. She came, and then while still breathing heavily, she tugged Clarke up, who was also still breathing heavily, but her lips and her nose and her chin were glistening with Lexa’s slick. Lexa pulled her in for a passionate kiss, tasting herself off of Clarke’s mouth, she kissed and kissed, not minding her own taste but more than anything enjoying Clarke’s moans. When she pulled back, Clarke's lips were red. 

She grabbed Clarke's hand and brought it up to her lips. She put two of Clarke’s fingers into her mouth and sucked at them, sucking the flavours she all too well recognized. She closed her eyes and relished the taste. And Clarke began to pump her fingers in and out of her mouth, that’s when Lexa realised she had to stop. Clarke was enjoying this. She couldn't allow that. She pulled them out and then held Clarke’s hand behind her back. “Clarke, that’s four strikes.” 

Clarke wanted to look sorry, she really did. But a slight smirk was creeping up onto the side of her lips and Lexa knew if Clarke smiled, she’d smile too, so she spoke again. 

“Can I know why you’re touching yourself without asking me first?” Lexa asked

“My commander, I'm sorry, forgive me for my impatience. I needed some relief. I know I shouldn't have, I am willing to take on any punishment you have for me.”

Lexa looked at her eyes and then her lips. “Clarke, who do you belong to?”

“You, my commander”

“And who do these belong to,” Lexa said, now pulling Clarke closer to her front, so that their breasts push up against each other.

“You, my commander”

With the hand that was not holding Clarke currently, she slipped between Clarke’s legs. “And who does this wet pussy belong to?”

Clarke gasped when she felt Lexa’s fingers between her folds. 

“You, my commander”

Lexa slipped them out and let go of Clarke’s body. "Good. Then keep your hands away from it."

Clarke missed the warmth immediately. 

“Go to my room, Clarke and keep the door open. Pull the curtains and get onto the bed. Do not dare touch yourself, or I will not touch you until the sun rises tomorrow.” Lie on your stomach and wait for me. Do not cover yourself. You will not turn around even when you hear me enter the room. Keep your face turned to the right. I will be with you in a moment.”

“Yes, my commander.”

Clarke turned around to walk upstairs when Lexa caught hold of her wrist again and pulled her towards her. This time Lexa pinned her to the wall. She lifted Clarke’s right leg and hooked it around her hip and then she ground into Clarke slowly, torturing slowly. Pushing her into the wall. “Oh Commander,” Clarke whimpered. Would Lexa grant her release right here? She could only hope. Lexa kissed her hard, pushing her head back into the wall. She released her lips and then bent down to bite her neck, she carefully chose a spot that wasn't already reddening. With another hand she caught Clarke’s breast and fondled it, pinched her nipple hard until Clarke was whimpering louder, she squeezed harder while she bit down on Clarke’s neck, allowing Clarke's lips to release such beautiful sounds in the air. 

Clarke’s breath was going faster, faster. “Commander, fuck,”

Lexa kept grinding into her while she brought her lips up close to Clarke’s ear. “I can’t wait to have my way with you, on all fours.” Clarke’s eyes opened, she whimpered at the thought. Lexa and she have had a lot of sex. But God, they hadn’t taken the other from behind yet. Was Lexa holding it off for this? Was Lexa going to use a toy on her? Why didn't she know what toys Lexa used or what she was comfortable with? Maybe she’d find out today. 

Before Clarke knew it, she was left on edge again, Lexa had left her high and dry against the wall as she turned around and made her way to the kitchen. That was Clarke’s cue to go upstairs. So she did. She was feeling too many things right now. She was anticipating what Lexa was going to do to her, hey knees were week, she was excited, a little scared of what the punishment was going to be. She knew that below that commander was her sweet Lexa, so she really had nothing to worry about, but this nervousness, this not knowing, this tease, this made it all so real, so much of a thrill. 


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter 38**

Clarke got into Lexa’s room, pulled the curtains and then switched the bedside lamp on. She stepped into the bathroom to look at herself once and she saw the reddened skin along her neck and breasts. She smiled. She was indeed the Commander’s, tonight. 

Quickly she made her way to Lexa’s bed, the place they made love to each other, again and again, so many times. This time was going to be different. Clarke wanted this. Dominant Lexa turned her on in more ways than one. She wanted Lexa to claim her body. To chase her own pleasure on it. She wanted Lexa to know she was hers in every way. For now, she waited, doing her best not to rub herself on Lexa’s bed. No, she’d wait, she was far too in now to be held off till sunrise. She didn't know if Lexa would really do that to her or if it was just a dramatic touch, but she was too close now to even test it. 

The punishment, what would it be? It excited her all the more. 

***

Meanwhile, Lexa poured herself a glass of water. When she said ‘punishment’, she knew what she was going to do. What she didn't know is that Clarke would break the rules four times. How was Lexa going to punish Clarke four times? Of course, Clarke knew what she was doing. She wanted this.

She put her glass down and rested her hands on the same counter where she ate Clarke’s pussy. She smiled. She hoped Clarke would like what Lexa had in store for her. She was shifting out of character again, she had to steel herself. This was for her satisfaction, she was the Commander. Clarke was her sub, her pleasure, tonight. Clarke’s body was hers to take pleasure from and if Clarke was good if Clarke was obedient, Clarke would reap the rewards, she reminded herself. 

Lexa tried. But at the back of her mind, all of this was for Clarke. 

***

When she entered her room, she saw Clarke lying on her stomach. She needed to make her presence known but she didn’t want Clarke to look her way. So she walked over to the left of the bed and set down on the bedside table a glass of water. She opened her bottom drawer and took out her vibrator, a condom and her strap-on that was already in its harness. She pulled out a tube of lube too, just in case. 

“What a good girl you are, Clarke. So beautifully naked, spread out, waiting for me, patiently. Did you try anything I told you not to try?” 

“No, Commander, I've been waiting for you. I believe I must endure a punishment before we go any further.” Clarke was too eager.

Lexa settled herself between Clarke’s spread legs and sat on her heels. She kept the vibrator next to her. “Clarke, you ask for it like you’ve been looking forward to it,” Lexa bent over Clarke now, pressing her front into Clarke’s back, lips too close to Clarke’s ears. 

“Commander, I am yours, I will accept what you have planned for me,” Clarke said. Not being able to look at Lexa directly in this position. 

Lexa lifted herself off Clarke, she sat back on her heels.

Clarke was giving her consent, Clarke was worried Lexa might back away. Clarke really wanted this, she thought. She needed to put her apprehensions away and give her girlfriend what she asked for.

“Very well then, Clarke. Will you lift your hips a little for me, bring your legs on top of mine. You may continue to rest your upper body on the bed.” Clarke began to get into position.

“Do you recall your safeword, Clarke?” Lexa had to move a little out of character here, she needed to be sure. “Yes, Commander” Apparently Clarke was too in the zone. 

Lexa slipped her legs under Clarke's legs so Clarke’s ass was now lifted just a little higher right in front of Lexa as she sat facing the headboard. Clarke’s ass was a creamy white and it was so curvalicious. Lexa began her ministrations by first palming Clarke’s ass.

“She allowed her thumb to graze Clarke’s folds a little with every downward movement. You look so delicious Clarke, look at you, offering your pretty ass to me, giving me the pleasure to treat it like it deserves. But bad girls deserve a punishment and a punishment they will get.” Lexa grabbed at Clarke’s ass and squeezed it. 

Clarke whimpered, she knew it was coming. She was ready.

And then it hit her ears before she felt it. Lexa had spanked her across her right ass cheek. 

Clarke found herself clenching her glutes but her legs were apart. She hissed when the burn finally coursed through her body. Immediately she felt Lexa’s hand soothe the area. 

“Commander, I deserve it, please.”

Lexa spanked her again on the same spot and this time she let out a small whimper, Lexa did not soothe the area this time. Lexa watched as Clarke was clenching around nothing. She moved her fingers to Clarke’s clit and began running circles around it with her finger. 

Clarke sighed. Lexa was building her up again.

“I’m not done Clarke, that was two out of four,” Lexa said.

“Commander, give me what I deserve,” Clarke begged. 

Lexa switched on her vibrator and Clarke heard it. She knew what was going to happen next. She clenched her centre at the thought. 

“Easy there, baby girl,” Lexa said, very patronizingly 

Lexa dragged the clitoral vibrator down Clarke’s folds and then to her clit. She held it there for a bit and heard Clarke’s breath increase. She immediately put it off and then spanked her again. 

“Ah,” Clarke cried out this time. A broken cry, so needy, so desperate. “Commander,” she breathed, “again”

“What do you want, baby girl?” Lexa asked. 

She switched the vibrator on and placed it at Clarke’s clit again, with her left hand. “Spank me, Commander.” Clarke said in a very shaky voice. 

This time Lexa spanked her and then immediately pushed two fingers into Clarke’s fold. 

“Fuck, fuck, Lex, Oh God, yea.”

Lexa began shifting from under Clarke, she swooped her own legs under her ass so she was sitting on her heels, “Clarke, on your fours.” Clarke raised her ass for her, weakly. The vibrator was holding her too close to the edge. 

Even if Lexa heard Clarke refer to her as Lex just now, she pretended they both didn’t hear. She had spanked Clarke enough now for the girl to know. Lexa thrust slowly, a stark difference to what the vibrator was doing to Clarke’s clit.

When Lexa thought Clarke had enough of it, just enough to edge her, she switched it off, took her fingers out from Clarke and kept the vibrator aside. She pulled Clarke up flush against her. Both on their knees now. 

“What do you want, Clarke?” She growled into Clarke’s ear, from behind. 

“Fuck me, Commander, take me here and now.”

“And why should I do that, Clarke? You’ve been a bad girl tonight,”

Clarke whimpered at the thought of not getting off tonight, “then let me pleasure you, Commander.”

Lexa pushed Clarke back on her fours. “You’re a smart one.”

Lexa laid herself down beside Clarke, “Turn around and gimme what belongs to me”

Clarke followed Lexa’s lead and found herself with her face on top of Lexa’s pussy and her pussy on top of Lexa’s face. Lexa didn’t wait a beat, she devoured Clarke. Clarke was about to start on Lexa when Lexa told her not to. “No Clarke, you do what I ask you to do.”

Clarke watched as Lexa’s folds pooled with slickness and she was so tempted to just bend down a little and lick. What would happen even if she did, Lexa would spank her. And she quite enjoyed that. So she bent down and she licked. And out of instinct, Lexa spanked her ass. 

“Oh God, Commander, do that again,” Clarke called. She did not think Lexa would do it without a warning, like the previous times. But fuck, this was everything she wanted. 

When Lexa spanked her this time, she was too close to coming, “Fuck, I’m coming, Lex, just a little more,” and just like that, Lexa stopped. 

“Of course,” Clarke thought, too frustrated now.

"Taste me, Clarke," Lexa commanded. She stopped licking Clarke's pussy and now asked Clarke to eat her out, again. So Clarke did what she was commanded too. She loved how Lexa tasted. She loved pleasuring Lexa. What she was not enjoying was how Lexa was now lightly, feather touching Clarke's pussy but not quite giving her any respite. Lexa's own his were bucking upwards at Clarke's tongue, but Lexa had a hold on Clarke so Clarke could not even wriggle at the light touches Lexa was administrating on her. 

Clarke licked and moaned at the taste. She sucked on Lexa's clit and Lexa enjoyed this. She allowed Clarke to build her up but she knew she didn't want to come yet. No, that would happen in a bit. 

Lexa pushed Clarke over and had her lie on her back. Clarke now began to actually feel the sting of those spanks. Her head was at the foot of the bed now and Lexa got up and crawled on top of her. 

Clarke smiled at the girl on top of her, she would do what Lexa asked her to do next, but she was beginning to lose her patience. 

“Commander, fuck me, please, make it hurt, I don’t care, but please fuck me hard.” She waited and saw something change in Lexa’s eyes. 

Lexa saw Clarke. She bent down to kiss her and allowed her hip to press down on Clarke’s centre. Clarke moaned into the kiss. Lexa lifted herself off, reached out for the dildo, on the bedside table. It was already in its harness. She tore open the condom packet, slipped it over the dildo, then applied some lube over it. Clarke was dripping wet already, but she still wanted to be safe and make sure Clarke didn’t get hurt if this got a little rough. 


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter 39**

When Clarke saw what Lexa was doing, she lifted herself on her elbows. It was a double-sided dildo in a harness. Lexa got on her knees and lined the smaller side up inside her. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to adjust to it. 

She lined herself up with Clarke but didn't move in. 

She looked into Clarke’s eyes. “Your commander has one request of you, baby girl.”

“What is it, Commander?”

“If you're going to scream, say my name,” Lexa said. 

Clarke nodded. 

Lexa kissed her hard. The dildo pressed near her thigh. 

Lexa moved her hand in between Clarke's legs and dipped her fingers between her folds. Clarke was wet, very wet. She was dripping. 

"Baby, spread your legs as wide as you can, and fold your knees a little higher…"

Clarke nodded. And she did what her commander told her. 

"Good girl"

Lexa sat up, she lined herself up with Clake and then slowly slid in. She kept her eyes on Clarke's face and watched until Clarke opened her eyes again.

Lexa bottomed out. Clarke had taken all 5 inches. She waited. She didn't know if Clarke had used a dildo of this size before. She had never asked if Finn had...that was not something she wanted to think about now. But watching Clarke take her in that way, all 5 inches, it did something to Lexa, she wondered why they hadn't used too many toys yet. 

Clarke could come right then, but she knew if she had a little restraint, this was just going to get better. She took a moment to feel the length inside of her, her pussy clutching onto it. It stretched her a little but she was slowly adjusting to its size. 

Lexa took a moment to make sure her side of it was right where she wanted it and Clarke whimpered. 

"Fuck me, Commander, fuck me hard."

"Patience, my lovely," Lexa said as she bent over Clarke and wrapped both her arms under Clarke's shoulders. Her thrusts were going to be purposeful, she needed to hold herself around Clarke better. 

Lexa bent down and took Clarke's lips between hers. She deepened the kiss and began a slow rock with her hips. 

"My hands commander, where do you want them,” Clarke said between kisses, between breaths, because if it was up to her, they’d be on Lexa now. But she couldn't afford a punishment now when she was this close to her orgasm. 

Lexa didn't still her movements but she looked at Clarke and said, "above your head, baby girl."

Clarke obeyed. She bit her lip. Lexa was going to ruin her. 

Lexa was gradually increasing her pace and her palms were holding Clarke's shoulder blades. So when Clarke arched her back, Lexa didn't miss her opportunity to kiss Clarke's breasts. 

Clarke was revelling in the feel of the five inches going in and out of her, she was so wet, it shifted so smoothly, and Lexa’s movements were gradually building, while she kissed her, kissed her neck, her breasts, all the while, still twerking her hips into Clarke’s. 

"Oh Lex, ah, fuck me, harder," Clarke cried. 

So Lexa thrust harder. Clarke brought her hands to her knees and held them wide. If Lexa held her out this time too, she’d fend for herself and take the punishment later, cause now she was too far gone. 

Lexa was thrusting in and out of her at a steady pace, drawing her up, high. The crash was going to come and it was going to be big. Clarke could feel her muscles tense. She was feeling too much with Lexa's lips on her nipples now, sucking, biting, biting and pulling, what sweet torture. Clarke’s mouth was opening in Os and As but now words were coming out, it was all getting too much. When she opened her eyes to look, she noticed Lexa closing her own eyes, chasing her orgasm too. Fuck, Clarke forgot this was a two-way dildo. She tried to move her hips up but Lexa sent her a warning glare. She saw the Commander. 

Lexa didn't speak but she thrust faster now. Clarke rolled her head back. “Lex, I'm so close, fuck.” 

“That’s right baby, fuck I want you loud, I want you dripping wet, I want you, all for me, your mine, Clarke, you belong to me, that pussy belongs to me,” Lexa said, between breaths, now not bothering to kiss down, but looking right at Clarke’s expressions, Clarke’s turmoil, Clarke's chase. 

"Uh, Lex, yea yea, Harder, harder, uh, just like that, Lexa fuck. Lex!" her breath caught, and her eyes shut. 

And that was Clarke's first.

Clarke was flooded with euphoria. She felt like her entire body froze all other functions just to allow her to feel the impending orgasm, that was being dangled in front of her for so long but that was now hers for the taking. And she took it. Her mind’s eye saw the darkest space of purples and blacks and blues, a galaxy, white spots ornamenting them, stars maybe, she couldn't tell, it was beautiful, she was floating, she was lightweight, she was infinite. And when she thought of who gave her this, she felt sudden jerks in her body, aftershocks, trembles. God, she could live the rest of her life like this. 

She was slowly slipping out of her reverie when she felt the dildo slip out of her. She looked down and saw Lexa, still too high strung, apparently. 

What was gonna happen next?

"On your fours, Clarke." 

Oh shit. Clarke turned around, weakly, still recovering from her previous orgasm, and lifted her hips. The commander was not done with her. She looked behind her and saw Lexa lining herself up again. Lexa looked at her and Clarke nodded looking behind. Lexa got in again, slowly, knowing Clarke was still sensitive. The sensation of her entering again brought Clarke so close to her second orgasm. Lexa felt Clarke’s pussy hold tight to the dildo. "Oh Lex, holy fuck, so good," she whimpered again and rolled her hips backwards. 

She saw Lexa close her eyes. Lexa held Clarke’s hips and thrust in and out. Now chasing her own orgasm. Clarke was feeling all kinds of ‘used’ and God was she loving it!

Clarke reached for Lexa's hand on her hip and placed it on her ass cheek. Lexa looked down and saw it in Clarke's eyes. Clarke whispered "please."

Lexa spanked her again. God, Clarke whimpered. And she clenched around the dildo. Lexa felt the pressure at her end. She thrust in and out at a steady pace. "Again, Lexa" Clarke called. Clearly, they both were chasing their pleasures. 

So Lexa spanked her again and heard Clarke hiss.

"Baby, I'm so close, I want you to come with me." Lexa said between breaths. 

She lifted Clarke against her front and pulled her a bit backwards. It changed the angle for Clarke and had the dildo hitting her front wall. Her weight pushing down on Lexa's side of it a bit. Lexa kept one hand around Clarke and one on the bed behind her, holding them both at an angle. 

"Oh Lex, Jesus Christ, just like that, I'm so close." Lexa reached around Clarke for her clit. And she began rubbing hard circles around it. Clarke abandoned all restraint now, she was cursing into the air and was taking Lexa’s name among the names of the Gods. 

Lexa’s was feeling everything at this moment. Her side of the dildo was working its magic. She was already so high strung just watching Clarke come undone earlier, she was so close, but Clarke’s pleasure came first for her right now and she was gonna make sure Clarke was ready for another before she came.   
Clarke could hear Lexa’s whimpering behind her, she could feel Lexa holding off, the way she clutched onto Clarke from the front, the way she wildly rubbed into her clit. Lex had to be close too. 

“Lex, I’m coming, Lex, babe, come with me.”

Clarke came and so did Lexa and gradually, they repositioned themselves with Clarke on her fours. 

Lexa did her best to hold them both through, keeping her movements slight and easy. When they both came down, Clarke was still on her fours and Lexa was bent over her. Lexa got to her knees and slowly slid out. 

"Baby girl, I’ve got one more for you, cause you've been so good, you're doing so well," Lexa said, not allowing herself a chance to catch her breath. 

Clarke whimpered into the pillow as Lexa slipped the strap on off herself and threw it aside. Clarke turned around and looked at Lexa, she nodded. If Lexa had one more for her that was just as amazing as the last two, she's here for it, no matter how tired she was. 

Lexa slid on top of her and kissed her forehead, her nose and then her eyes. "You don't have to do anything, Clarke. Just relax, and look at me," Clarke nodded. 

Lexa got off her and then got in position with her right leg over Clarke's left and her left leg under Clarke's right leg that she bent upwards a little.

Clarke kept her eyes on Lexa's. 

Lexa angled herself to the left and watched as Clarke shut her eyes and her face turned to the left at the feeling. "Look at me, Clarke" Lexa said.

Clarke obeyed. Unable to say anything, still breathing heavy. 

Lexa held on to Clarke's right leg and pushed her center down into Clarke’s. 

"Clarke, you've been so good, you earned this one. You listened to your commander. You gave your commander what she wanted. This is your reward. Take it Clarke, take what you want". 

Clarke raised herself on her elbows and pushed at her center. She threw her head back while she chased her orgasm. Lexa threw her head back, taking Clarke's name. When she could hear in Clarke's breath that the girl was coming closer. She looked at her and saw the goddess she fell in love with, the powerful woman who won her heart so easily. 

"Clarke, baby, look at me"

Clarke looked at her. 

"I love you, Clarke Griffin, so so fucking much." 

"Aahhh, Lexa, Lexa I'm coming. I love you." Clarke said between laboured breaths. 

They both came. They both came hard. They both came loud. 

They resigned. 

In a few minutes, probably more, Lexa was the first to recover. She untangled their legs and crawled up beside Clarke. She waited. She waited until Clarke came back to her. She watched until Clarke came down from the role she was just playing. 

And when Clarke turned to look at her. Lexa laid out one hand for Clarke to roll into her embrace. 

And Clarke did. She slipped into Lexa's arms, "I love you, Lexa, I love you." It was softer, it had a weakness to it, a smallness to it. And Lexa loved her back, with everything in her. At that moment, Lexa swore to herself, she would give Clarke whatever she wanted, whatever she asked for if it was in her capacity; even if they were the stars in the sky, Lexa would find a way, she'd think about the how when Clarke really asks. But for now, Clarke needed the comfort of her body, and so she gave it to her. 

Clarke hid her face in the crook of Lexa's neck. Lexa kissed her head. "Clarke, baby, my love, are you okay, can I get you something, there's water here." 

"No, just hold me," Clarke said. 

"I'm right here, Clarke. I'm not letting go of you, for however long. Does anything hurt?" Lexa asked. She trusted Clarke to tell her. 

"No, just a slight sting." Clarke said, truthfully, a hoarseness to her voice, a tiredness too. 

"Oh baby, come here." Lexa made sure Clarke was completely over her own body. So no part of Clarke's ass was touching the bed.

She kissed her forehead. She kissed the side of her face and her temple. She kept kissing her head until she heard Clarke's breath even out. Clarke fell asleep.

Lexa allowed her own tiredness to take her. She fell asleep holding Clarke on top of her. Her Clarke, the girl she was falling for more and more every day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a minute (Read: month) since I started writing this fiction. Thank you for reading. Let me know what you think :)


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, had a hectic week at work. I see this story probably going into 60 chapters. I know they're pretty short, I'm working on that :P I've already got some other ideas and I hope you guys will read those fics too whenever I get to them.

**Chapter 40**

Lexa’s eyes opened up first. It was still dark, so she was certain it wasn't morning yet. Maybe really early in the morning. She didn’t move, afraid she’d wake Clarke up. Clarke was still on top of her. She took a moment thinking back to the night they shared. To the way she and Clarke took on roles. She wondered what Clarke would feel when she woke up, would she resent Lexa for hurting her. She wondered if Clarke’s expectations were met. Or if it was too overwhelming. 

Clarke stirred and placed a kiss on Lexa’s chest. Lexa moved her hand along Clarke’s back, softly. “Hey baby,” Lexa whispered. Voice a little hoarse. 

"Sorry, I need to pee, so I was going to wake you up if I shifted, so I thought I'd wake you with a kiss," Clarke said as she sat up. 

"Hmm, I'll be up, take your time," Lexa offered. 

"Hmmm" Clarke said, still very sleepy. 

Lexa asked, "What time is it?"

Clarke got off, rubbed her eyes and said "3 am" after checking her phone. She then made her way to the bathroom, in all her naked glory. 

Lexa almost dozed off again but remembered she needed to check in with Clarke. So she waited until Clarke got back. When Clarke got back, she had a washcloth in her hand. She took the covers off Lexa and gestured for her to spread her legs a little. She wiped down her inner thighs and her centre, “now you can sleep more comfortably.” 

Lexa smiled, not sure if Clarke could see it in the dark. She remembered their first night and how she cleaned Clarke and how so many times they didn't bother and yet how sometimes, they did. Clarke went back to the bathroom and then returned to get into bed. 

When Clarke scooted into her embrace but didn't get on top of her, Lexa asked. "Clarke, babe, how are we?"

Clarke looked at her and kissed her passionately, "we're great." 

"How do you feel, Clarke? I don't know if you've done this with anyone before, but I really need to check in with you. Is there anything you want to talk to me about? Any lingering feelings, any thoughts? Or do you wanna talk in the morning?" Lexa offered, even though she knew if she kept the conversation for the morning, she wouldn't really get any sleep.

"Well, your mind won't let you sleep until we talk, so I'm gonna just say it," Clarke said very seriously. 

Lexa held her breath. She almost felt dizzy. God, she did something wrong, didn't she? Did she overstep? Did she hurt Clarke? Her mind was racing. 

Clarke propped herself up on her elbows, looked into Lexa's eyes and spoke. "Lexa, we're going to do this again. And this time you're going to get all your toys out from wherever you're hiding them from me." Clarke mused with a mischievous smirk. 

Lexa laughed. "Clarke I'm serious, how are you feeling?"

"Lexa, I'm serious too. I feel great, I feel like you and I just took a very important step further in our relationship." Clarke said, now lightly brushing her fingers on Lexa's skin, "I feel like I know another side of you now, a very very sexy, fearless side. I feel like you've learnt my body some more and I feel lucky that it was you who I experienced this with for the first time." 

Lexa smiled. Still a little unsure. 

"I can hear what you're thinking, Lexa. No, the spanking did not ruin it. I wanted it, I broke rules so I could get a taste of it. I shivered at the thought of it even before you did it because boy, I knew it would do things to me, and it did." Clarke assured her. 

Clarke continued, "Lex, you were perfect, and I feel a little more 'yours' now." She blushed and it was apparent in her voice. 

Lexa blushed. "Does anything hurt? Can I do something to relieve any pain?"

"No my love, just hold me, there's no place I’d rather be right now," Clarke held onto Lexa and nuzzled her nose close to her neck.

"What about you babe? Are you alright?" Clarke asked. 

"Yea, yea I am, I was just scared I'd hurt you. The reason I sent you up alone was cause I needed a moment to decide if I should really punish you," Lexa admitted, in a smaller voice. 

She continued, "Clarke, babe, I hope you know, and I know you know, but I just feel the need to put it out there, I'd never..."

Clarke stopped her. 

"Lex, I would never think that, don't you let your mind go there. I know you would never raise a hand on me, you don't have to spell it out. You love me Lex and I love you, and so much of this love is because I feel safe with you, babe."

Lexa nodded. 

"We're going to do this again Lex because it was fun and I loved it and I know you loved it. And when we do, I don't want you to hold back. I need you to trust yourself too, just as much as I trust you. You're not a monster, Lex, you're one of the most loving people I've known." 

Lexa nodded.

It was too dark to see. So Clarke kissed up Lexa's face and her suspicions were on point. Lexa had warm tears running down her face. 

"Oh baby, it's over. We did it. We're okay. We're both okay," Clarke comforted her. 

"I'm sorry, I was just so scared I'd hurt you earlier and these are tears of relief," Lexa assured with a small chuckle. 

Clarke smiled at that, "you can cry any tears you want babe, I've got you."

Lexa sniffed. She was okay. Clarke was okay. 

They wrapped each other up in a cosy cuddle and slipped back into sleep, listening to their breaths, listening to the only sounds that mattered to them. 

***

The next day, Clarke called in sick so she could spend the day with Lexa. They stayed in bed late, cuddling, holding each other, talking. When they finally got up, Clarke asked Lexa to shower with her. 

When Clarke stripped and Lexa laid eyes on the marks across her neck and breast, Lexa didn't know how to react. Clarke laughed though, so Lexa decided she needed to go easy on herself...and Clarke. She had to spin her around though and assess the damage. 

Clarke's ass was just a tinge pink. She ran her fingers down them to see if Clarke was still hurting. Clarke didn't flinch, so it was a good sign. 

They helped each other bathe and then got downstairs for brunch. 

“Baby, you don’t need to take the day off too, it’s alright you know, you anyway go in only in the evening,” Clarke said.

“No that’s alright, I own the bar Clarke, I can take an off when I need it.” Lexa didn't tell Clarke about the 3 meetings she had scheduled that evening. She texted them and told them she’s postponing them to the next week.

Lexa texted Ontari that she wouldn't be at the bar tonight and that she should probably drop in the following Wednesday. 

Clarke didn’t argue, she was looking forward to spending the day with Lexa. “How are things going at the bar?” Clarke asked. 

“Everything’s great. It’s thriving really. Every day, I've got more and more sponsors asking if they can host events and stuff. It’s crazy. Anya’s been talking about opening up another place soon, by the way.” Lexa responded as they both worked around the kitchen preparing something to eat. 

“Wow, sounds amazing.”

“Yea it is. Ontari texted me yesterday, she has a business proposal for me.” Lexa felt the need to let Clarke know. 

“Oh yea? What is it?” Clarke asked. 

“I’m not sure, she said she’d come to the bar and meet me in person, I told her to come by on Wednesday.”

Clarke looked at Lexa at that. “Wednesday huh? Why can’t she speak to you over a call,” she asked. 

Lexa shrugged, not noticing a change in Clarke’s body language. 

“Does she come to the bar very often?” Clarke asked, now with her hands folded across her chest facing Lexa directly while Lexa was stirring a pot on the stove. 

Lexa just about noticed Clarke and she responded, “She comes by a few times, usually with other business partners to discuss stuff or sometimes with a date, sometimes she’s there alone, and then she sits at the bar.”

Clarke thought for a second and then turned around to the kitchen island and started folding some kitchen towels. 

Clarke was brought out of her mind when Lexa wrapped both arms around her from behind, nuzzled her nose near Clarke's neck and then her ear. “Hey, where’s your mind off too?” Lexa asked.

“Nowhere, Lex, I told you, I trust you, I just don’t trust her. I don’t like the way she looks at you either if I’m being honest,” Clarke said as she threw the towels to the counter, a little grumpy. 

Lexa was amused at the way Clarke’s mood could shift like that so easily. But if it could go from good to bad that quickly, she’s sure she could reverse it that quickly too. 

“Well, then trust that every time she’s around me, I’m still thinking about you and how I can’t wait to get home and hold you like this, or kiss you, or just look at you, and thank the gods for sending you to me,” Lexa said this and kissed Clarke’s shoulder. 

Clarke smiled. And just like that, she felt easy, she felt safe, she felt relaxed. She turned around and faced Lexa and placed a soft kiss on her lips. “I love you,” Clarke said.

“I love you too,” Lexa said. They kissed again and then put some space in between them so that they could get the cooking done and finally eat something. 


	41. Chapter 41

**Chapter 41:**

Later in the afternoon, Clarke convinced Lexa to paint with her in her room. Clarke was mid-way showing Lexa how to do a paint wash on her canvas when her phone buzzed with a notification and right after that, Lexa’s phone buzzed with one too. 

Clarke checked her phone and saw it was a bank notification letting her know that money got deducted as a standing instruction payment towards Lexa, the rent. Clarke saw it, swiped the notification away and kept her phone back. 

She watched Lexa read her phone and saw the girl tense up. “Hey, all okay?” Clarke asked. 

“Yea, no, I just got your rent payment. It just feels weird.”

“Why weird?” Clarke asked. To be honest, she knew, but she wanted to know what Lexa was thinking. 

“Just... you and I, we’re dating, but we’re also flatmates, and I don’t want my girlfriend paying me for staying with me.” Lexa offered. 

“Don’t be silly, Lex, I agreed to pay every month. And so what if we’re dating, I’m still occupying a room, I’m still using your water, your electricity and that fucking insane pool of yours!” she laughed, “don’t think so hard, really, forget about it.” Clarke knew Lexa would feel awkward about it, but she also knew she wasn’t gonna take advantage of the situation and stop paying her rent. That idea was beyond her. 

Lexa half-smiled. Clarke continued to instruct her on how to paint when Lexa got lost in thought. She wondered what it would be like if they weren’t flatmates. She would ask Clarke, her girlfriend to move in with her. And in that case, even though they’d still share expenses, it wouldn't be a rent, per se. It would be things like groceries and other home stuff. 

While Clarke was a tenant at her house, at least on paper; she was already a keeper in Lexa’s heart. So she was gonna do something about this. She wondered what Clarke would say if she asked her to move in, Clarke would laugh at her, given that she already stays here, but to Lexa, it meant something else, it meant Clarke wouldn't have to pay for staying with her. She decided she would ask her soon. Maybe she could plan it out, make it a bigger move than it really is, the way she would otherwise do it if her girlfriend wasn’t already living in her house. She smiled at the thought. Where had life brought her? 

“And then after you’ve done the base wash of your Canvas, we can move on to…” Clarke was talking still when she noticed Lexa daydreaming. She waved in front of her face, “Lex, where are you?”

Lexa snapped out of it and came back to the present. She made some excuse and then continued to learn from Clarke. Clarke gave up her easel for the day since she had only one and had squatted down on the floor with Lexa to paint. They painted their canvases in silence mostly, interrupting it with the occasional conversation in between. By the end of it, they were both so tired and their backs were out. They left it all on the floor and decided to take a nap. 

They snuggled into each other on Clarke’s bed and drifted off to sleep.

They were startled awake with Lexa’s phone ringing. Lexa almost rolled off the bed while stretching to retrieve it from the floor. Clarke was about to start grumbling when Lexa answered. 

“Hey An,” Lexa rubbed her eyes with her free hand and then the bridge of her nose. Trying to wake herself up. Clarke didn’t grumble knowing that it was Anya. 

Clarke was on her stomach, she wrapped an arm around Lexa and scooted half on top of her chest, listening to Lexa’s breathing while she spoke. Lexa placed her hand in Clarke’s blonde locks and played with her hair to soothe her back to sleep. 

“Hmmmm,” Clarke sighed and probably drifted off to sleep. 

“Uh-huh ----- yea ---- no I told her I’d talk to her on Wednesday --- yea, she’s okay with that ---- yea I got it, don’t worry an --- oh Monday? -- yea I guess I could meet her Monday--- yea you can let her know--- how are you ----- how are things with Raven---- hahaha, that’s great ---- yea, I’m sure she’s thinking about you too----- you’re such a sap, An! ----- oh please. I’m not gonna talk to you about that ---- not now --- uh yea --- call me tomorrow, An, now let me go back to sleep ---- no really, we’re sleeping---- uuugghhh - hang up already --- bye.

When Lexa locked her phone she heard Clarke lightly snoring on her chest. She smiled and closed her eyes. She decided to think about how she would ask Clarke to move in. Should she do it on a date, should she plan a surprise, should she just ask the bank to stop accepting the payment and then get Clarke to ask her what happened. She decided she could use Lincoln’s help, he was good at surprises. So she texted him at that moment. 

**Lexa:** Hey, I'm thinking of asking Clarke to move in with me.

 **Lincoln:** Lex, when did she move out?

 **Lexa:** Huh? 

**Lincoln:** Where is Clarke staying now?

 **Lexa:** In my house, Linc. I meant I don't want her to continue paying, I want to officially ask my girlfriend to move in with me. 

When Lexa typed it out and sent it, that’s when she realised that in a normal relationship, this would be too soon. She knew the stereotype about lesbians wanting to move in too soon with their girlfriends, but she really wondered if she was rushing this. She was about to type something when two texts came in. 

**Octavia:** OMG OMG OMG! Lex, that’s great! When are you gonna ask her? Are you gonna surprise her!?!

 **Linc:** Wow, congratulations Heda! When are you gonna break the news to her?

Lexa silenced her phone cause Octavia was sending all her texts one word at a time in excitement. 

**Lexa to Linc:** Okay hold on, what do you think about it? Am I rushing into it?

 **Lexa to Octavia:** Hahahaha, yeah, that’s the plan. Do you think it’s too soon though? I’m overthinking it now. 

**Lincoln:** No, are you kidding me? The two of you are so good together, she’s gonna be really happy when you ask her. 

**Octavia:** Lex, do not overthink this. I know Clarke, she will love this. She loves you. She’s never been so in love with anyone. Trust me. 

Lexa felt better about it after what Octavia said. She continued to chat with Lincoln for a bit, he said he would help her plan it. And she was hoping she’d be able to ask Clarke by next week.

That evening, Clarke and she went out to eat and they took a walk around the park. Clarke’s mom called while they were both sitting on swings and whiling their time away. Clarke answered cause Lexa said she didn't mind. 

Clarke's mom had called up every evening. Lexa only heard them both talk on days when she wasn't at work. She knew Clarke had mentioned her to her mom already. She’d said things like, ‘Okay, bye, now my girlfriend’s waiting to eat dinner with me’ and ‘Yea, Lexa loves my cooking’. But she never thought it important to ask Clarke what exactly her mom knew about them. If Clarke wanted to mention it, she would. 

She didn't mean to eavesdrop but they were the only two people in the middle of the playground while all the other people were walking around the paved way. 

“Yea mom, yea I know, I’ll ask her, yea okay, yea, I heard you the first time, how are you? How’s work going? Well then get some rest, yes, okay, I’ll remember, bye. BYE, MOM, hang up now, I’m on a date! Uggghhh …. Lex, mom says hi.”

“Oh, hi,” Lexa said, feeling stupid cause she didn't know if she should have said, "hi, Mrs Griffin." 

Clarke hung up the phone and laughed. 

“What?” Lexa asked. 

“Your face, that’s what!”

“Excuse me for being nervous about talking to your mom! You’ve never even introduced me!”

“Well don’t get your knickers in a knot! Sue me for wanting to wait until you met her in person!”

“Oh, my bad then. What does she know about me?” Lexa finally thought it was okay to ask.

“She knows you’re my girlfriend, she knows you’re my flatmate, she knows you own a bar, she knows I’m so distracted by you that I often don’t hear her calls, she probably guesses we’re having sex given that we stay together, but I don’t get into that topic with her.”

“Okay,” Lexa smiled. This was good. She was glad. 

Clarke smiled, glad to see that Lexa wanted her mom to know her. Clarke got off her swing seat and sat on Lexa’s lap. Lexa held on to her. “I’ve wanted to introduce you to her for a while now, but she said she’s coming here next week, so I figured you could just meet her in person,”Clarke said.

“Next week? That’s great, she can use Anya’s room.”

“Woah woah woah, hold on there, she doesn’t have to stay with us Lex, she’ll probably stay at a hotel. She travelling on work, a hospital here has called her in for a seminar.”

“What? Why? Doesn't she want to spend time with you? She can stay with us, Clarke. Not gonna let your mom come to the city and not stay with us!”

“Oh I see how this is, you want to impress her! Show off your home and all?”

“It’s not like that Clarke, it’s just, she calls you every day, she probably misses you. Have you asked her if she’d like to stay with us?”

“No, no I haven't.” The thought had never crossed Clarke’s mind. Her mom always stayed at hotels when she travelled for work. “Okay, I'll ask her,” Clarke smiled, “And I'll put in a good word for you, I’ll tell her that Lexa insists!” she giggled at that.

Lexa laughed too. “I want to meet her, Clarke. It would be nice.”

Clarke beamed. She was so in love with this girl already and here she was wanting to meet her mom just cause she could. Clarke leaned in and stole a kiss from Lexa.

They got home from their little escapade and decided to wind down with some wine and a board game. And when they got too tired, they called it a night and headed upstairs deciding to sleep in their own rooms tonight. 

Lexa stopped at Clarke’s door before going to her own, “Goodnight, Clarke,” she said while holding both of Clarke’s hands in hers. 

“Goodnight Lex,” Clarke returned. And then leaned in to kiss her. Before the kiss could get any more heated, they called it a night and got to their rooms. 

Lexa had just tucked herself in and decided to take a look at her phone before she slept. There was a text from Clarke. 

**Clarke:** It makes me feel all warm inside that you want to meet my mom. It makes me warmer inside thinking about how much of my heart you hold. 

Lexa smiled at the message. It was a few words but it said so much. 

**Lexa:** Glad, then the heater in your room can be done away with ;)  
**Lexa:** Kidding. Yes, I really can’t wait to meet your mom. I get to see if you turn into another person around her. 

**Clarke:** Excuse me, _I_ will get to see if you turn into another person around her. 

Lexa laughed. 

**Lexa:** How are you not already asleep?

 **Clarke:** I was thinking about you. About us.

 **Lexa:** Should I be worried?

 **Clarke:** Yes

Lexa’s brow furrowed. 

**Clarke:** You should be worried about having any personal space left. Open your door. 

Lexa smirked, got out of bed and opened her bedroom door. Clarke was waiting, phone in hand, in just her tee and her underwear. “Can I sleep with you?” the blonde asked.

Lexa took her hand kissed her cheek and led her to bed. It was answer enough. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a couple of filler chapters. I've got a little angst instore for you guys. Any guesses what's it gonna be about?  
> Thank you for the Kudos and the comments!   
> Lastly, if you've watched 'The Haunting of Bly Manor', you should check out clexa_is_endgame47's last 3 fics. And if you do, comment and let her know I sent you ;)


	42. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Say hello to me on twitter @clexafantasy

**Chapter 42:**

Another few days went by and finally, it was Monday. Lexa was excited. She was gonna ask Clarke to move in with her tonight after she got home from the bar. She duplicated the house key, but this one had a special engraving on it. She couldn't wait to surprise Clarke with it. She could almost imagine the confusion on Clarke’s face when she’d see it, given that Clarke already had a house key. She wouldn't be able to tell that this one meant more until she looked at it closely. 

Lexa told Anya she was gonna ask Clarke to move in. Anya was happy for her. She did like Clarke anyway. Anya told her she would be back by Friday and she was really looking forward to having a party again. Lexa said they could plan one that weekend, invite everyone over again. Octavia and Raven could catch up with Clarke’s mom again. She honestly didn’t know how long her mom would be staying yet. 

Clarke’s mom was coming over by Wednesday, and Clarke would be picking her up from the airport. She was excited about meeting her too, there were so many things to look forward to this week. 

Today though, she also had to meet Ontari. Anya told her the deal sounded good so she should hear her out. Anya also told her to meet Ontari on Monday itself, and that’s the only reason she’s meeting her today. 

Lexa dropped Clarke off at the gallery that morning. “

So, I’ll see you tonight for dinner then?” Clarke asked. 

“Yea, tonight,” Lexa smiled, as Clarke leaned in to kiss her. She was already thinking about how Clarke would react to her surprise. 

“What? why are you smiling like that?” Clarke asked. 

“Nothing, nothing at all,” Lexa said to quickly. 

“Don’t ‘nothing’ me, you’ve been acting all fishy the last few days, you’ve even come home later than usual one too many times in the past week!” 

“What? Clarke, don’t be ridiculous, there’s nothing fishy, I get late at work sometimes,” Lexa defended. Only she knew how many times she went over to the guy who was preparing her key to just get the engraving right. 

Clarke looked at her suspiciously. “Lexa, why do I get the feeling that you’re not telling me something,” Clarke asked very seriously.

But Lexa was too much in her own fantasy world to gauge how serious Clarke really was. She laughed, “Clarke, you’re worrying too much, just be home when I get there okay.” And with that, Lexa leaned up and kissed Clarke on her lips before putting her helmet back on and riding away.

It was a lighter day for Clarke at the gallery today. She called some artists up, set up some meetings, she met some new dealers, some walk-ins. By the afternoon, she had a couple of hours to herself, so she went into the backroom to paint. She immediately recalled the day Lexa had come to the gallery once in the middle of the day just to surprise her and how that turned into a heated make-out in the back room. She smiled. 

Now thinking of Lexa, she wondered why Lexa was so weird this morning and she thought back to the last few days that Lexa was coming home late. She kept saying there were meetings. But she never said anything about those meetings. And Lexa wasn’t one to keep details to herself. When they would talk about their day, Lexa would tell her about what each client said and then went on to explain how she handled the matter, right down to the T. So, to not get those details was a little off, but Clarke brushed it off; Lexa could just be tired. 

Clarke tried not to think so much about it and decided to paint. But she couldn't help the weird feeling in her stomach, something was not feeling right. She left the back room and decided to walk around a little. She walked around the gallery and it gave her time to assess what she was feeling. She was feeling a little insecure. Where was this feeling coming from? And why now? It was all too recognizable. She’s felt this way before, a little dread and she had not acted on it then. Now though, it was eating at her. She sat at her desk and decided to take a few breaths. She closed her eyes and breathed in and out. 

When she had managed to get a hold on her nerves. Her phone rang. It was Anya. 

“Hey, Anya, what’s up?”

“Hi, Clarke! Is everything okay? You sound a little flustered.” Anya responded with concern. 

“No no, just had a bad phone call. How have you been, An? Anything I can do for you?” Clarke covered up. 

“I’m well Clarke, thanks! And don’t get stressed over work calls. I was just calling to tell you that I’ll be back Friday, I don’t know if Alex told you. She did tell me your mom's coming over on Wednesday and she can have my room. If she’s staying the weekend, I’ll stay over at Raven’s.”

“Hey, Friday, that’s great! No, Lexa probably forgot to mention it to me, she’s been busy, she’s had one too many meetings at the bar the last few days.”

“Yea? That’s weird, there was nothing on our calendars, anyway, I’ll talk to her and find out if I missed something.”

Anya didn't know about Lexa’s meetings? That was weird, Clarke thought. They were co-owners after all and they practically knew everything the other was involved with at the bar. 

“Yea, okay, uh, thanks for offering your room, An, mom will mostly be leaving by Friday, but I see you anyway want to stay over at Raven’s so... ” Clarke chuckled.

“Hahahaha, you take care, Clarke. See you Friday” Anya blushed and Clarke could hear it in her voice. 

Clarke locked her phone and took another deep breath. Okay now her mind was spiralling out of control. Why was Lexa not telling her anything about these meetings? Why was she not telling Anya about them, or were there no meetings at all? Because they definitely weren’t on Anya’s calendar. Should she talk to Lexa about it tonight? Or would that make her sound really suspicious? But she had the right to wonder right? They were girlfriends and they told each other everything. How much is too much between girlfriends anyway? Was she being a crazy girlfriend? 

Some people walked into the gallery then, so Clarke pulled herself together. She’d have to think about this later. 

***

Lexa was at the store where a guy was finishing the key up when Anya called her. 

“Hey An, what’s up!”

“Hey Alex, I just got off the phone with Clarke some time ago. She said something about you being at some meetings in the last few days.” Anya got to the point. 

“Oh yea, that’s nothing, I was at the key maker, he fucked up the design twice and I had to keep going to him, so I got a little late, didn’t know what else to tell Clarke, so I told her I had some meetings,” Lexa said. 

“Oh, well! Poor girl, you’re lying to her, you’re sure she won’t see through it? Or worse yet, what if she's not okay with you lying?”

Lexa was on cloud 9 throughout the day so there literally wasn’t any space in her head right now to think of any way this could go wrong.

“She won’t, even if she finds out, it’s something good right? She’ll be glad to know I want her to move in, it is the next obvious step in a relationship, An.”

“Oh well, okay then, just, talk to her okay, I think she’s having a bad day.” It was all Anya could offer. 

Lexa worried about that. She’d text Clarke right after this call.

“Yea, okay, An, I’ll talk to her. I’m gonna ask her tonight.” Lexa added, with a special glow on her face. 

“Hahaha, alright, Alex, all the best, I'm sure she’ll say yes.”

As soon as the call got done. Lexa checked her texts. There was one from Clarke from an hour ago. Clarke asked her if she had her lunch. She hadn’t really, but she was alright and she didn’t want Clarke to worry. She replied immediately though. 

***

It was 9 PM now and Clarke had just eaten dinner. She was pacing the kitchen and the living room wondering how she should address this thing she was feeling with Lexa. What if it just came across all wrong. Like poor Lex is just being herself, doing her job, coming home to her girlfriend and here her girlfriend was questioning her credibility. Gosh, Clarke felt sick even thinking about it. 

She had texted Lexa earlier today. After the people at the gallery had left. 

**Clarke:** Hey, I'm thinking about you, hope you’ve eaten lunch <3

Lexa would usually reply pretty quickly but here she was waiting an hour before she finally got a response. 

**Lexa:** Sorry babe, I was riding, they needed me at the bar early today. Yes, I ate, I hope you’ve eaten too. I love you :*

Clarke didn't reply. There was no question there. So Clarke held back. She was afraid she’d end up saying something off. 

She was getting sick of this feeling and decided to take things into her own hands. Lexa and she always spoke about everything and if something was troubling her, she needed to speak to Lexa about it. So she changed into her jeans and a better top, she put on some light makeup and decided to go to the bar. She’d surprise Lexa and spend some time with her over the bar and then maybe they could talk on their way home or go for a walk or something. 


	43. Chapter 43

**Chapter 43:**

Clarke was a little more calm while on her way to the bar. Just thinking of getting to talk to Lexa in a little while was making her feel a whole lot more relieved. At least she’d be able to quell some of these negative feelings. Just being around the girl always made her feel a whole lot better. 

She entered the overcrowded bar and looked around. It was just as crowded on the day she met Lexa for the first time, and though she’d dropped in here a couple of times since then, this time, the vibe was really similar to her first night here. She ran into a waiter she recognized and asked after Lexa, he said she was in her office at the back. Clarke decided she would approach her when she was serving at the bar and maybe make a repeat of their first conversation. So she sat at a high table and ordered a drink. She kept looking towards the bar, but Lexa hadn’t come out yet. 

So she looked around at everyone dancing and then back at the bar. And there, from behind the bar, from a staircase, Clarke remembered all too well from their first/second date, Lexa appeared. Only, she wasn’t alone. Lexa's shirt, one that Clarke had not seen before had the top two buttons open. But Lexa always had everything buttoned down when she was working. Lexa was holding someone's hand and helping them down the stairs. When Clarke looked more closely, she recognized the girl. It was Ontari. Why was Lexa holding her hand?

Clarke was about to get up and approach the two when she noticed Lexa laughing and then Ontari used her thumb to brush off a lipstick smear off the side of Lexa’s lips. They weren’t holding hands anymore, but why was Lexa’s lipstick smudged in the first place. Clarke’s insides were churning. She got up from her seat. And just when she was about to make a move forward. Ontari caught Lexa’s shirt with one hand and pulled her forward. 

Clarke spun on her heels and stormed out of the bar. Her eyes were getting foggy and her chest ached. She was feeling it all over again. She’s felt this before. Betrayal. 

But Lexa? Lexa was cheating on her? God the thought made her dizzy! She called a cab and got back home as quickly as she could. She held back her tears, not wanting to cry in front of a stranger. As soon as she got in, she ran up to her room, shut the door and wept. Her chest was physically hurting. Her mind was a mess. Lexa said she had a meeting with Ontari on Wednesday, but here she was and it wasn't even Wednesday! Was Lexa lying to her? Was Lexa meeting Ontari all these evenings?

Where did she go wrong? Why was Lexa cheating on her? Clarke tried to stop her mind from racing for a moment. But her heart was beating so fast. Everything hurt. 

She cried into her pillow, tears streaming down her face. Her sobs were first silent but then she couldn't hold back any more, they grew deeper, with deeper breaths. She was losing her breath. She held onto her pillow. First Finn and now Lexa? She couldn't imagine she’d be taking Lexa’s name in the same breath as Finn's. How was this happening to her? Was she never enough for anyone? 

Fuck, she trusted Lexa, with all her heart. Did she make a mistake falling in love with a one-night stand? Why did she trust her so easily? What a fool she is? 

Clarke picked herself off the bed and got into the bathroom, she took off all her clothes and turned the shower on. She cried louder now, she needed some kind of comfort right now and water was the closest thing. She stood under the shower crying until there were no tears to shed, just dry heaving and a kind of tiredness she’s never felt before. 

She couldn't believe it, she just kept picturing Lexa and Ontari together. It was maddening.

She tried to shake away the thought. She tried really hard. But it just kept coming back to her. She tried not to cry when she got out of her bathroom. Her towel was wrapped around herself. She grabbed her phone and texted Raven. 

**Clarke:** Rae, I don't know if your up or if you're asleep. But when you see this please call me. I need you. 

Clarke cried while she typed her message. She sat on her bed and cried some more. 

She took a moment to calm herself down and then put on her tee and her underwear. She climbed into bed and checked her phone to see if Raven had responded. Not yet. She locked it and then tried to force herself to sleep, so she could stop crying. But she just couldn't help herself. 

***

Lexa was wiping down some glasses when Ontari approached the bar, "Hey beautiful, let's get outta here," Ontari said. 

Lexa glared at her and the just smiled curtly. "Hello, Ontari"

"Oh come on Lex, take a joke, lighten up," Ontari said. "I know you're taken, you're more than taken, you're whipped." Ontari laughed. 

Lexa just blushed. She was whipped. She thought of Clarke and she thought of how she was just a couple of hours away from her little surprise. She was really just counting down the time. 

"So, what's this business proposal you have for me?" Lexa asked, getting straight to the point. 

Lexa was about to pour Ontari a beer from the tap when the tap malfunctioned and in turn splashed the beer on Lexa. Lexa took two steps back but her top was ruined. She used her forearm to wipe the alcohol that had splashed onto her face, smudging her lipstick a little on her sleeve.

"Woah there, you alright?" Ontari asked. 

Lexa looked down at her top and she was drenched. "I'll be right back," Lexa said to Ontari.

She went into the back and asked one of the guys if they had a spare shirt around and one of them did. She changed into it quickly cause boy was her night getting delayed for some stupid reasons. She didn't bother buttoning it all up or even looking into the mirror. When she got out, she approached Ontari again. 

"So, you were saying," Lexa asked. 

"Right. You clean up well btw," Ontari was being sarcastic but it was beyond Lexa to care right now. She rolled her eyes. 

Ontari realised her impatience so she cut to the chase. "Lexa, I was hoping to buy a stake in your bar, we could own it together and I'll be able to pull in some more sponsors too, given that I have managed to build a very good network of contacts. I see that the bar is doing well and I hear from Anya that you guys are planning on expanding into other cities as well, so give it some thought. You don't need to tell me today." 

"How much of a stake are you asking for, Ontari?" Lexa asked. 

"49%. I'd like to be a major decision-maker if I am to have any stake here at all," Ontari was not fooling around, she was very serious.

Lexa laughed, "Are you kidding me? Ontari, I'm not gonna give you 49% stake of the bar. Right now Anya and I both hold shares at a 49-51 ratio. And from what we're seeing, we're doing pretty alright," Lexa spoke confidently. 

"We have sponsors and event managers calling every day asking for a slot. Our weekends are booked 3 months in advance. And our terrace setting, it's been booked right up to the year-end!" Lexa said. 

"I see, so are you saying no or are you saying the chances are less?" She had to try again. 

"I'm saying, I'll talk to Anya about it and if you're that keen on partnering, we could work out another ratio. But 49% is highly unlikely." Lexa said. 

"Alright, talk to Anya, let me know, I'm keen on buying in, but I don't wanna be swayed by the Woods sisters." Ontari winked. 

"I'll get back to you then," Lexa offered. 

"Now what's this terrace setting you're talking about?" Ontari asked. 

"Oh I don't think you've seen it yet, we had it done up very recently. Come, I'll show you." Lexa put the glasses down on the bar and then led Ontari away from it.

Ontari followed Lexa up the staircase and was amazed to see how amazing the terrace looked. The lights, the table in the centre, the floor sofa, it was really beautiful, she remarked. 

Lexa smiled, thinking of her date here, with Clarke, and how much she missed the girl even though she just met her this morning. "Clarke and I had our first date here," Lexa said.

Ontari smiled. As much as she kept flirting with Lexa still, she knew Lexa was off-limits. She was in too deep. "She seems nice, and you look happy. I'm glad you've found the one," Ontari said.

Lexa turned to her, now realising that Ontari was being extra nice to her. "Ontari, nice words aren't gonna get you those shares!" Lexa teased. 

"Oh shut up," Ontari quipped.

They began to head downstairs but this was turning out to be a feat for Ontari as she wore really high heels which Lexa hadn't noticed when they were walking up, so Lexa took her hand to help her out. When they reached the bottom of the staircase, Ontari spoke, "Why, thank you, Lex, you've not changed one bit from the charmer I always knew you were," Ontari remarked and Lexa just laughed. 

"What can I say," she shrugged

"Don't say anything, but that charm doesn't do much for you if you've got your lipstick smudged like that," Ontari remarked as she brushed some of it away with her thumb. "There, better now!" 

"Thanks", Lexa said. 

She was about to start saying she had to get back to work when Ontari held her shirt and pulled her forward. Lexa didn't know what was happening until she looked behind her and saw a waiter walking behind her looking the other way. If Ontari hadn't pulled her forward, the guy would have spilt the entire tray on her.

"Roan, watch where you're going!" Lexa reprimanded. "Sorry, my bad," he called, before rushing to serve a table. 

Then she turned back to Ontari to thank her. 

"The alcohol in your bar is really flowing!" Ontari remarked. And Lexa sighed. Her waiters were really really good. But every once in a while, her bar acted up, whether it was the taps or the very distracted waiters. 

"Anyway, I'll get going now! Say hello to Clarke from me," Ontari said as she blew Lexa a kiss that Lexa decided to ignore completely, brushing the moment off with a smile. 

"Bye Ontari, I'll call you about it," Lexa responded. 

"Sure," she said as she made her way to the exit. 

Lexa sighed. She was so tired. Her day was mostly done. She just had to sort some stuff in the office at the back and she'd be done for the day. 


	44. Chapter 44

**Chapter 44:**

When Lexa got home that night, she got off her bike and looked towards Clarke's window. The lights were off. She hoped Clarke had not already gone to bed. 

When she got in though, the kitchen looked unused, the lights were all off. She took off her coat and kept the box with the key in her hand. She made her way upstairs and saw that Clarke's door was shut. 

She took a deep breath. This was gonna be the moment she asked her girlfriend to move in with her. She was nervous. She was excited. But most of all, she was happy. 

She knocked, "Clarke? Babe, you up?" She waited for an answer. But got none. That was weird, she had asked Clarke to wait up for her. Had she forgotten and gone to sleep?

Lexa didn't want to disturb her if she was sleeping. So she stepped back, waited one more moment and then went to her room. She closed the door behind her and put the box on her desk. She'd have to wait until tomorrow then. That was alright, maybe she could speak to Clarke in the morning before she got to work, maybe over breakfast. She'd make her pancakes too. She smiled to herself and then took her phone to text Clarke anyway. 

**Lexa:** Hey babe, I guess you've gone to sleep already. Missed you all day. I love you :* I'll see you in the morning for breakfast.

She set an alarm for herself to make sure she doesn't miss Clarke in the morning. She texted Anya.

 **Lexa:** Couldn’t ask her tonight. I’ll try tomorrow. 

And then she went to sleep.

***

Clarke had just managed to calm herself down. She was tired. Her body felt lifeless. She was hoping to drift off to sleep but her mind wouldn't quieten. 

Lexa had mentioned that Ontari was gonna meet her regarding a business proposal. But what was this about? Why get so handsy, she didn't even wait to see why Ontari pulled onto Lexa's shirt. It was all too much to take in at the moment. 

She was brought out of her thoughts when she heard her door knock and then heard the voice of the girl she loves so much. Loved? Loves? God, she didn't wanna think about it. She was hurting. So she pretended to sleep. 

It was quiet then. Maybe Lexa went back to her room. She decided to go to sleep, if she was able to, that is. Tomorrow she’d meet Raven and tell her what happened. She was hoping she’d be able to hold it all together. She was just about dozing off when her phone buzzed. 

She picked it up from her bedside table thinking it was Raven. But it was Lexa. She read the message and while her heart wanted to feel so loved at the moment, all she could feel was an uneasiness. She locked her phone and forced herself to sleep. If she managed to fall asleep, at least it wouldn’t hurt so much. In no time, exhaustion took over her body. 

***

It was 7 AM when Clarke woke up. She rubbed her eyes and took a deep breath in. She stretched. And that was as much of a good morning she had. Her mind flooded with thoughts about the previous night and her mind raced. She was lying down but her head felt heavy. She tried to remind herself to take some deep breaths. She tried to calm herself down. In time, she sat up and checked her phone. There was a message from Raven.

 **Raven:** Hey Clarke, what’s up? Is everything okay? 

**Clarke:** Nothing’s okay. Meet me for coffee in an hour?

With that Clarke got into the shower and got ready for her day. She didn’t want to face Lexa this morning, she was feeling humiliated enough. So she was praying the brunette hadn’t woken up yet. 

Unfortunately for her, Lexa was already in the kitchen when she got downstairs. 

“Clarke, hey, come, have some breakfast, I made your favourite,” Lexa said sweetly and very matter of factly. 

Clarke ignored her. Hardly even looked at her. She shuffled around the living room, looking for her bag and her stuff. 

“Clarke, babe, hold on,” Lexa took off her apron and tried to move towards Clarke, noticing that the girl hadn't responded to her. 

“Don’t,” Clarke said sternly when she noticed Lexa approaching her, still not looking at her. 

“Babe, what’s going on? Are you alright? Look at me?” Lexa asked, not knowing if she should reach out or not, not knowing what to make out of Clarke’s sharp ‘don’t’.

“Stop it Lexa! I can’t stand a liar. I’m having breakfast with Raven. I can’t even look at you right now. Please leave me alone.” Clarke said as she continued to check her bag to see that she had all that she needed for the day. 

“Clarke,” Lexa’s eyes widened. Now she was beginning to panic. “Babe, what are you talking about, tell me, whatever it is I’m sure I can explain. Why can’t you look at me?” Lexa didn't know what hurt more, Clarke calling her a liar, or Clarke not looking at her while she accused her of it. 

“Don’t babe me Lexa, don’t even say my name. You don’t deserve to. God, I trusted you,” Clarke looked directly at her now and her eyes were filling with tears, “I thought you were different,” she moved around the house then, took her coat, put it on, put on her boots. Lexa tried to stop her. But Clarke raised her voice “Don’t. Don’t touch me.” Clarke took a deep breath in. “All this time, I thought you were different, I was a fool, I’m always the fool to believe anyone could be good enough, but you’re just like them all, you’re a cheat, you’re a fucking asshole, you’re everything I thought you weren’t,” Clarke was sobbing now but was quite unstoppable in her movements. “I need some space, I need to breathe, and I really don’t want to talk to you right now,” Clarke asserted, her voice sounded tired, exhausted, to be honest.

She looked up at Lexa’s face once before she could leave, cause God, she didn’t know if she wanted to be back. She saw Lexa’s teary eyes, she saw her jaw shift like she wanted to say something, but there were no words from Lexa. And no words were a message enough. 

She turned around and slammed the door behind her. 

***

Lexa was shivering. She needed to sit down. She doesn’t know how she made her way to the sofa. But she did. Tears rolled down her cheek. She took one deep breath in. 

A storm had just come down that stairs and blown her away. And here were the debris. She tried to make sense of what just happened. In less than 5 minutes, Clarke, her Clarke, her girlfriend, called her a liar and a cheat, she called her a 'fucking asshole', she accused her of betraying her and breaking her trust, she told her not to touch her and not to take her name. 

Lexa wiped at her tears. But more came. They just kept coming. But what was she crying for? She hadn’t done anything wrong, at least not to her. She was crying, she thought to herself because Clarke was hurt and Clarke said she was hurt because of her. She must have done something, something really wrong. What did she do? God, why didn’t she ask Clarke, why did she just let her go. Should she call her up, should she text her? Her mind was racing.

She tried calling. Clarke cut it. She tried calling again and was met with the same fate. She decided to try one more time and she found the phone switched off. 

God, what was Clarke talking about? She tried to think back to the day before. Nothing seemed off, nothing apart from the fact that she had replied to Clarke really late. Yea, she’d been coming home late, but Clarke seemed to understand that she had meetings. Yea, she did lie about that but that was so that she could get the key made. The key! Even if Clarke found out of the key and figured that’s why Lexa lied about the meetings. She wouldn’t have reacted this way, right? Was she so averse to lies even if they were for a surprise? No, she couldn't have figured it out. She wouldn't be so upset if she knew. This was something else. 

She didn’t get to ask Clarke to move in with her. God, Clarke didn’t even want to look at her. That’s a far cry from moving in. She held her head in her hands. Trying to take stock of what just happened, what she should do next and what all of this meant. But first, she needed to stop crying. Why was this so difficult? The picture of Clarke’s red-rimmed eyes, bursting with tears, the sobs in her voice, the tone she used with Lexa, it was all too much. It was all too scary, why did she feel like she just lost the only person she wanted to keep in her life. No, she wasn’t not gonna let Clarke get away like that without a calm conversation. She hadn’t even done anything wrong. 

She needed to talk to Raven. She tried calling the girl. But Raven didn’t answer. 

She’s probably with Clarke now, she thought. Lexa texted her. 

**Lexa:** Raven, please call me when you get this. Clarke is upset about something and she’ll probably tell you. I need to fix whatever this is. Please call me. 

Lexa locked her phone and paced. Should she ride down to Clarke’s gallery? Maybe she could. But Clarke asked her for space. Should she wait and hope that Clarke's conversation with Raven would calm her down? Why was this so difficult to navigate? “Cause you’ve never been in a relationship after Costia, you idiot” Lexa sighed and said to herself. She really didn’t know what to do. 

Should she call Anya? What would Anya do though? Anya would give her grief for hurting Clarke, but obs Lexa didn't know how she did it. It would be better to talk to Clarke first or maybe Raven if she called her back. Lexa would give her too much grief for letting Clarke walk out without trying to calm her down first. How would she explain to Anya how she froze at the sight of a hurting Clarke. 

Nothing was clear to Lexa now. She was beginning to spiral. How could she salvage this? She decided to take a shower, she needed to think with a clear mind. 

When she got out of her shower. She had a weird feeling in her stomach. Her mind was making up a lot of scenarios. What if Clarke didn’t speak to her again. What if Clarke didn’t want to come back home? 

And then more than anything, 'Fuck, Clarke’s mom was scheduled to come over this week.' She felt dizzy.

She got herself to the kitchen and tried to stomach some food. Nothing was feeling right. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh-oh!   
> Comment and let me know your thoughts.   
> Or connect with me on twitter @clexafantasy


	45. Chapter 45

**Chapter 45:**

“Okay wait, let me get this straight,” Raven said, elbows on the table but hands gesturing in the air. Clarke was seated across from her, palms clutching a warm mug of coffee that she hadn’t sipped from yet. Nothing tasted as good as the coffee Lexa made her. She’d not bought from this place in a while, not since she tasted coffee like that.

Raven continued, “So you're saying you saw Lexa with Ontari - one of her previous one-night-stands but also a business woman who was meant to do business with Anya and her. You’re saying you saw this girl kiss your girlfriend?”

“No Rae, I didn't really see them kiss, their hands were all over each other. Lexa was holding her hand, Ontari was touching her face, she was holding her collar. God, Raven, don’t make me repeat these things, they hurt enough already.”

Raven reached out for Clarke’s hand. “Clarke, I'm trying to help you out here. I don’t like to see you like this and if I’m right, Lexa would never do anything to make you feel this way.”

“Then explain to me why she’s been lying to me, Anya told me Lexa didn't have any meetings scheduled, yet Lexa told me 3-4 days in a row that she was getting home late because of meetings at the bar,” Clarke said. She had cried about it already when she told Raven what she saw, the first time. Now the tears wouldn't come, now it was just rage and frustration and betrayal and shame. She was feeling like an idiot. 

“Clarke, slow down there. I know you okay and I know you’ve been through this in the past, that doesn’t mean it’s happening again. So first, breathe with me okay. Come on, a deep breath in and a deep breath out.” Raven offered.

Clarke rolled her eyes, she really didn’t need to do this. But she gave in. Raven did know her. 

“Okay, now let’s do this slowly. Did you see Lexa kiss Ontari? Yes or no?”

“No, but”

“Ah ah, wait.” Raven stopped her, “Did you ask Lexa or Anya why Anya didn’t know about your girlfriend’s meetings?”

“No, Raven, I was..

“Nuh-uh, hold on, Clarke,” Raven continued. “You saw something. You assumed it was the worst, you took it home with you and you mulled on it so much that you’ve possibly added your own parts to the story now, Clarke. And by 'story', I mean you seem to have made up your mind about something without getting all the facts straight. Did you allow yourself a chance to talk to Lexa?” 

Clarke looked at her. Contemplating what Raven was saying. Were there really other possibilities? Is it possible to find your girlfriend with a lipstick smudge and a girl with her hands on her and it not be what you think it is?

“Look, Clarke, I just think you owe this a chance. You owe yourself, more than you owe Lexa, a chance to find out what’s happening.”

“And what if she lies to me again, what if she says she’s not seeing Ontari behind my back but really, she’s just lying.” 

“Well, then I will help you prove it. Anya will help us, God, Anya will be at Lexa’s door ready to kill her if she found out Lexa was cheating on you.” Raven responded. 

Clarke was visibly affected by the word cheating. Even when she had said it to Lexa earlier.

“Anya loves you Clarke, she adores you. She can’t stop talking about how perfect you are for her cousin and how perfect you are as a flatmate too. She praises you whenever we talk about you guys. So yes, Anya will beat the daylights out of Lexa if she got to know.” Raven assured her. 

“And you have me and Octavia. You remember what we did to Finn, right?”

Clarke sighed. “Raven, the two of you can’t keep fighting my battles. I appreciate it, but I can't have you guys do this for me every time. I think I know what I need to do.”

“You do?”

“I do. I need to talk to Lexa. But Raven, I'm so afraid. This thing she and I have built, this relationship, this bond, I was revelling in it, it was so lovely, I’m so afraid of letting it go, but what if it’s already gone? What if I'm no longer her girl. What if Ontari is really who she wants to be with and she’s just stringing me along for fun or cause she doesn't know how to tell me, maybe cause we're room mates. I don’t think I can bear to go through hearing the truth from her.”

“Clarke, listen to yourself, you’re not even giving the universe a chance to show you another truth, you’re not giving Lexa a chance to explain herself. What if the girl doesn’t even know why you’re so upset cause she didn’t do anything wrong? Have you thought about that possibility?”

“Raven, there’s very little that can explain the position I saw them both in last night.” Clarke admitted. 

“Give that ‘little’ a chance Clarke,” Raven advised. "I promise you if you still have your doubts after your conversation with her, Octavia and I will step in. We’ll let you do this on your own first.”

Clarke nodded. She looked down at her mug. “I thought we were doing fine. We really were. God, I was already thinking about the future with her. You know what I hate about this Raven?”

“What is it?”

“I’m hurt alright, I'm very much in pain right now even thinking about the fact that she could do this. But at the same time, I’m still wondering if she’s had her breakfast after I walked out,” Clarke laughed a pitiful one. She was beating herself up for still caring for the girl. 

Was it muscle memory? Emotional memory? Old habits die hard?

“And that’s okay Clarke, don’t beat yourself up about it. You, caring for her even now, is probably a sign from the universe. It’s probably telling you to hold on to it,”

“Rae, you’re too positive, you need to prepare me for the worse.”

“Clarke, there is no worse. Either you guys talk and sort this out, or she’s dead and you have no more problems, you won’t even have to get over her.”

“Rae, you’re not...”

Raven raised her hands in the air, “I didn’t say I’d do it.”

Clarke gave her a warning glare. Then she looked at her watch. “We should get going, you’re going to be late at work,” Clarke said.   
“Yea, we should head,” Raven said, as she picked up her bag. She noticed Clarke had not sipped her coffee yet. 

“Clarke, you haven’t had anything.” 

“I’ll just take it to go, Rae, I’m not sure I can stomach anything right now,” Clarke said. Raven nodded.

They both collected their things and got out of the cafe. They said goodbye to one another and made their way to work. 

***

When Clarke switched her phone back on at the gallery, she saw multiple missed calls from Lexa and a few texts.

 **Lexa:** Clarke, please talk to me? I need to know what you’re talking about. Why did you call me a cheat and a liar?

 **Lexa:** Clarke, answer your phone, please. I’m sorry, if I’ve hurt you, please come home. 

**Lexa:** Babe, hope you eat something, I know you don’t when you’re upset. 

Clarke looked at the coffee mug in front of her. Her stomach was rumbling. But she knew she wouldn’t be able to stomach anything right now, she threw it into a bin. She heard her phone buzz again. 

Raven: I’ll tell Octavia what happened, so you don’t need to go through all those deets again.


	46. Chapter 46

**Chapter 46:**

When Raven got into work, she took her phone out of her bag and saw a couple of missed calls from Lexa. She hesitated to call her back. But then she just did.

When Lexa answered, Raven spoke first.

“Can you explain to me why my best friend, aka your girlfriend, cried her heart out in front of me over coffee today?” Raven asked.

“Rae, I was hoping you could tell me, I don’t know what’s upset her, she wouldn’t talk to me, she wouldn’t look at me. Rae, she wouldn't let me near her.” Lexa was holding back tears but her voice was broken.

“Well if I was Clarke I would have done the same.” Raven knew that was a hard blow, especially since she didn't know the deets but the way Clarke cried this morning, she owed Clarke this much. 

“Rae, you seem to know more than me right now, can you please tell me, I’ll do whatever you want, gosh ask for it and I’ll give it to you, just tell me what Clarke told you,” Lexa was desperate. 

Raven was almost swayed. But then she reminded herself that she would let Clarke fight her own battle this time. 

“Okay look, I swore I would stay out of it, but I’ll tell you this much, Clarke has reason to believe that you’ve cheated on her. If you haven’t then you need to talk to her. If you have, then Lex, I wouldn't want to be you, right now.” Raven said, as stoically as she could, 

“Rae, she called me a cheat this morning, what you're saying is almost the same thing, but none of it makes sense to me. I did not cheat on Clarke. I would not cheat on my girlfriend. You know that I hope you know that, really.”

“Lex, you’re convincing the wrong person. Talk to her,” Raven almost pleaded. If Lexa was in fact being honest then Raven wanted them to fix this just as badly as Lexa did. 

Lexa cut her off, hysterically. “She won’t talk to me Rae, she’s ignoring my calls and my texts. What should I do, should I go over to the gallery?”

“No, give her sometime Lex, she’s been here before and from what she knows, it doesn't get better. But I’ve spoken to her and she’ll be alright for now. Listen, don’t panic okay, she has to come home tonight, you can talk to her then.”

“Rae, you don’t understand, the way she left this morning she looked at me like she had absolutely no intention of coming back, I’ve been panicking all morning, I’m not ready to lose her.”

“Lex, babe, calm down, take a few breaths, she will come home. Try to talk to her then okay. Give her some time to process what’s on her mind. Whatever she saw slash heard has messed her up a bit. And whatever happened in her past with Finn is clouding her thoughts. You need to be patient.”

Lexa listened to Raven. Raven knew Clarke like the back of her hand for sure. But did Raven want for them to be together just as much as Lexa did? Lexa had more at stake here. But for now, she decided to listen to Raven. 

“Okay, I’ll wait. But Raven, you know I’d never. You do right? You know I'd never hurt Clarke like that. She’s the one for me, Raven. I’ve told her so many times. She told me she trusted me.”

Raven could hear Lexa’s voice break. She could hear everything. She honestly felt bad for the girl. For both of them. They only needed to talk.

“I’ll talk to her again, Lex, don’t worry,” Raven assured her. 

“Raven, do you believe me?”

Raven took a deep breath in. She wanted to, she really did. She’d always been rooting for them. She saw how happy they made each other. She saw Clarke and she knew Clarke had never been so complete before Lexa. But Raven also knew how fuck-all it was when they found Finn cheating on Clarke and they learned then to never trust anyone. But she couldn't do what Clarke was doing right now, not without knowing for sure. This is not the same scenario like that with Finn. 

“I believe you, Lexa. I believe you because you are good and Anya is good and I believe you because you’ve brought good into Clarke’s life. But don't be mistaken. If there’s anything on you, if Clarke’s suspicions are even a little true, you will..”

“None of it is true, Rae. Trust me, please. I need you to trust me if you’re going to talk to Clarke about this, please,” Lexa was really desperate right now.

“Okay, I’ll talk to her.” 

“Thank you,”

“Lexa take care of yourself.”

“I will, please look out for Clarke today.”

“I will.”

****

When Lexa put the phone down, she heard the thunder outside. She hadn't stepped out all morning so she didn’t know what the weather was like, she pulled a curtain to assess the scene on the street. It wasn’t raining but it was a gloomy day, the clouds were coming in. 

“Great,” she thought. The weather was playing its part in her life today. 

She immediately thought of Clarke. Clarke had mentioned she loved the rain. She wondered if Clarke had a spare umbrella or a raincoat at the gallery. She checked her phone again. No word from Clarke. She didn’t think she could ever feel pain from looking at a phone with no notifications. Specifically no notifications from the girl she loved so much. 

She turned around and her eyes fell onto the box on the coffee table. The one that held the key she had made for Clarke. An all-new pool of tears began to fill her eyes but she pushed them away. She needed to have some hope, especially if she asked Raven to vouch for her. She was going to get her girl back, she was going to ask her to move in when all of this was cleared and she was going to show her how much she means to her. 

Lexa tried her best to be positive. She was going to approach Clarke calmly and with dignity. But if Clarke didn’t listen to her, she would be willing to beg at her bedroom door. She’s lost Costia before, and then, she did not even have a chance to fix anything, Costia was gone in an instant. But here, she loved Clarke so much, maybe more than she had loved Costia. No, not maybe, definitely. And she had a chance to make this right. She was going to do this. 

She got a text from Anya.

 **Anya:** So what did she say?

 **Lexa:** Not yet. I’ll ask her tonight. 

Lexa didn’t know why she couldn't tell Anya what happened. But she couldn't. Not right now, the details made her sick.


	47. Chapter 47

**Chapter 47:**

Clarke could not be idle right now. Being idle always led her to think too much and maybe there was some truth in what Raven was saying, what if she’s made up so much of the details that she’s not able to think of any way in which Lexa may not really be guilty. Raven said she needed to give the universe a chance or rather give Lexa a chance to speak, to explain. 

Clarke didn’t know if she could bear it though. What if Lexa was lying again? How would she know? Was she really projecting her experiences with Finn onto this situation? She kept her paintbrush down. 

She had decided to paint, to distract herself, but there was no pushing those thoughts away. Her phone buzzed. It was Lexa again.

 **Lexa:** I don’t know if you’ve taken a raincoat or if you have an umbrella, it looks like a shower is headed this way. Call me if you need anything. 

Clarke read it again. It was… not her girlfriend. It was her flatmate. She didn’t address her as Clarke. And honestly, someone needed to remind Lexa that she could stop saying Clarke so much. She didn’t offer to pick her up or to bring her her raincoat. Was Lexa giving her her space cause she asked her to? Or was she just not interested in being there for Clarke anymore? Or was she just upset with the way Clarke walked out on her and the things she had said to her? 

Clarke hated herself for thinking so much. She literally made so much up. She needed to stop. Raven was right. 

Clarke decided to make some lead calls then, it would take her mind off things, and maybe later she would decide if she wanted to talk to Lexa tonight. If not tonight, she’d stay over at Raven’s. She didn’t want to go through staying in the same house as Lexa and not talking to her. She wouldn't be able to do it and if she did, she’d start a fight. She needed some calm.

***

 **Octavia:** How do you go from ‘I’m going to ask her to move in’ to ‘I’m a sorry ass who looks like I cheated on my girlfriend’? Tell me. Really, tell me.

 **Lexa:** Raven told you then. I don’t know what to say, Octavia. I really don’t. I haven't cheated on her. I told Raven too. I don’t know what’s happening, I’m gonna wait for her to come home to talk to her. 

**Octavia:** You’re lucky I haven't told Lincoln yet. He would freak out. 

**Lexa:** No, don’t tell him. I haven’t told Anya anything either. I know they wouldn't think I cheated. They both know me too well, but I don’t want them having to worry about me right now and I don't want them trying to talk to Clarke, I know they will. I need to talk to her first.

 **Octavia:** Is there reason to worry about you, Lex? Cause I'll be honest. I am worried. 

**Lexa:** I’m okay. I’ll be okay. I just need the night to come sooner. I need Clarke to come back home. I hope she comes back home. 

**Octavia:** I’ll see if I can steer her that way. Raven told me you were worried if she trusted you. I trust you okay because I trust Lincoln and Lincoln trusts you. But not only because of that. Because I've seen the way you look at Clarke. 

**Lexa:** Thank you, Octavia. I appreciate it. I’m not letting her go. 

Lexa was sure.

She had texted Clarke about a raincoat. It had begun raining now. But Clarke hadn’t responded. She sighed. 

She got dressed, picked up her own raincoat, placed the key box in her pocket and got out. If Clarke didn’t come home to her tonight, she’d go to Raven’s. So Lexa decided she would go to Raven’s to talk to her. She had made up her mind. Of course, she wouldn't spring the moving in question at that moment. But it was there to remind her, that this was everything she wanted. But really, she didn't need a reminder. She just needed Clarke. 

Lexa rode her bike to the bar. 

***

 **Raven:** Talk to her, please? This is for you. Not for her. 

**Octavia:** Hey, Raven told me. Hang in there okay. Call me if you need to talk. But listen to Raven.

Clarke sighed. She kept her phone down. She really didn't wanna see any more texts. But her phone buzzed again. 

**Mom:** Hey baby, I’ll be landing by 12 PM tomorrow. You don’t have to pick me up, I’ll make my way to the hotel and then I’ll come see you. 

Oh fuck. She forgot. Her mom was gonna be here tomorrow. She hadn’t told her yet that Lexa wanted her to stay over. She didn’t think she needed to now. It was better if her mom stayed at the hotel. 

She replied to her.

 **Clarke:** Hey mom, don’t worry, I’ll come pick you up if I can get someone to cover for me at the gallery. I’ll check with Atom and let you know tonight. 

She texted Atom and then locked her phone. She noticed the time, it was late. She spent her entire evening painting. God, it was almost 9 PM. 

She was going to leave when she remembered, she didn't know if she should go to Raven’s or Lexa’s. 

Her day was horrible, tense. She was on edge all day. If she didn't find out what she needed to today, tomorrow wouldn't be any different. She huffed, emotionally exhausted. But she needed to do this tonight. 

**Clarke:** We need to talk when you get home tonight. 

Clarke decided to call a cab, it was pouring outside and she wasn’t sure for how long. She waited for her cab, but the driver cancelled. She called for another. But it said 20 mins away. She decided she’d wait. 


	48. Chapter 48

**Chapter 48:**

Lexa was in her office behind the bar. She poured herself a drink. She didn’t have any important meetings today and really, she didn't have the mind space for any. She had fought back her tears so that none of her staff would ask. But now, here she was, alone, trying to drink her fears away. She decided one was enough. If Clarke came home tonight, they could talk and even though she had a good capacity, there was absolutely no reason for her to talk to Clarke even a bit tipsy. She switched to water. 

She kept herself busy, trying not to think too much about it. But there was a pain in her chest she could not ignore. She was not gonna let Clarke go. She was gonna do all it took. 

Time passed and it was 9 pm now. She decided she should get home early. She was really looking forward to seeing Clarke and she might have been home already. So she packed her things and decided to go. She put on her raincoat, said goodbye to her staff and headed towards the exit when her phone buzzed with a message from Clarke. Clarke wanted to talk. "Oh thank god," she sighed. She typed a message back.

 **Lexa:** Yea, of course. We do need to talk. I'll be there in a bit. Clarke, I love you. 

Lexa couldn't stop herself from typing those last four words. 

And just like that Lexa got onto her bike and headed home. 

***

Clarke was now frustrated. This was the third cab that had cancelled on her. When she called the driver he said there was too much rain and his route was packed. 

Clarke's phone buzzed with a text from Lexa. The last four words were more important to her than anything in the whole world. And yet today, they made her insides churn. She owed Lexa a chance, Lexa owed her an explanation. She would put them both out of their misery tonight. And if things went the way she didn't want them to, she would consider moving out soon. Because she could not live with the girl she fell so madly in love with and watch her love someone else. 

Clarke looked at the pouring rain. How was she gonna get home? She called Raven. 

"Rae, my cab can't get through this rain. Where are you? Any chance you can pick me up?"

"Hey Clarke, I'm still at work, I've got a late night. Sorry!"

"Oh that's okay," Clarke paused before she continued, "Would it be weird if I asked Lexa?"

"Does it make you feel weird?"

"I mean, I don't know, I was gonna talk to her tonight. I guess I could ask her. Please pray I don't start crying like a sorry ass behind her on her bike."

"I've said it to all the gods in my books, now call her up. Bye babe. And listen, you got this okay. Remember why you fell in love with her in the first place."

"Bye Rae, yea, I'll keep that in mind"

Clarke contemplated calling Lexa. She decided she had no choice. She was also really tired and cold, and just needed to get home. 

She called. The phone rang, it took a few rings and Lexa answered. It took all of Clarke to school her thoughts not to go in a direction it didn't need to right now. 

"hey, ummm, I can't seem to get a cab home, I was wondering what time you'd get off work and if you could come to pick me up." Clarke was pushing her luck here. The way she treated Lexa this morning, she didn't know if she should even be asking for a favour. 

"I'm on my way home right now, Clarke, I can come pick you up" 

"Oh, uh okay, I'll be here." Clarke said and then almost ended the call the way she usually does with a quick, 'love you', but no, this time she hesitated. She knew Lexa would notice too. She cut the call and held her tears back. She did love Lexa, but she was not going to make a fool of herself. 

***

Lexa felt butterflies in her stomach when she saw Clarke calling her and even more when she heard why. Clarke needed her and she wasn't afraid to ask. This was good, right?. Lexa wasted no time. She restarted her bike from having pulled over to answer. She knew it was Clarke with that specific ringtone she added to her contact 'Princess by Fletcher'. 

Lexa rode with a renewed hope now. She wondered what Clarke was thinking, what Clarke was feeling. She sounded less angry for sure if she was comparing her to the morning, but the hesitance in her voice told Lexa she wasn't there yet. She'd pick Clarke up and then they'd talk and then she'd tell Clarke how much she loves her. And she'll repeat it again and again until all of Clarke's doubts were gone. Lexa was hopeful, she hoped it would be that easy.

***

It had been 20 minutes now and no sign of Lexa. She was riding so Clarke didn't want to call. Lexa would even answer while riding if she knew it was Clarke calling. For a moment Clarke forgot the night before and all of the day. Her mind drifted to Lexa, her Lexa, the one she fell in love with. She prayed with all her heart, that it really was her mind making up things. She needed Lexa to prove her wrong today, she wanted Lexa to prove her wrong. 

Clarke was brought out of her thoughts when her phone began to ring. It was Lexa. She answered, "Lex, where are you?" It felt like ages since she took her name.

"Uh, ma'am, I'm sorry, the owner of this phone has been in an accident, an ambulance is on its way and you were the last on her recently dialled." 

Clarke froze.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've updated the number of chapters this fic is gonna have. Thanks for reading <3


	49. Chapter 49

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your comments, guys! They really make my day :) I keep checking my mail to see what you guys have to say and it pushes me to write more. I made a new friend from the Clexa community on Twitter recently and I'm so happy to be a part of this family. Connect with me at @clexafantasy on twitter!

**Chapter 49:**

"Hello? Is anyone there?" The husky male voice on the phone asked. 

"Hi, uh, I'm her girlfriend speaking, my name is Clarke. Thank you for calling me, can you tell me which hospital are you heading to? I'm sorry, can you please be with her till I arrive." 

"Yea yea, sure, the name's Gustus, we're headed to Arkadia Memorial. You can reach me on this number. The ambulance is just here."

And with that, he cut the line when Clarke was mid-sentence "Gustus can you tell me if she's…"

The line went dead. Clarke felt tears pooling her eyes. She couldn't wait for a cab, none would come. She looked up Arkadia hospital on maps and decided to get there on foot. It was still pouring but nothing was going to stop her right now. She began to run. Her mind was racing faster than her. How badly was Lexa hurt? Would she be alright, she hoped she was fine.

Gustus didn't say anything about her, he said they were taking her to the hospital, that was good right. Stop making things up in your head Clarke. She's gonna be fine, she's gonna be fine. 

Clarke's mind went into overdrive. She couldn't do anything to help, she didn't know who to call or who to tell. She needed to inform Anya. She slowed down her running to call her and then when she held the phone to her ear she picked up her pace again.

"An?"

"Hi Clarke, why are you panting? Where are you?"

"An, I'm on my way to Arkadia Memorial. Lexa's been in an accident. I don't know how she is yet. But I'm on my way."

"What!?! What happened? Clarke, slow down, who is with her?"

Clarke stopped running and the tears just came. 

"Anya, I'm so sorry, she was riding her bike on her way to pick me up and then I got a call from her phone from a man.." Clarke was sobbing now. She was so scared. "I don't know how bad it is, he said he called the ambulance and it had just arrived, I'm headed there."

"Okay, calm down Clarke, don't be scared. When you get there, please give me a call. I'm gonna check what flight I can take. Listen, I'm gonna send Raven right on over to you. You hang in there okay?"

"Anya, if something happens to her…"

"Hey, nothing's gonna happen to her, we don't know the severity of the accident yet. Lexa's strong, she will be fine. Call Gustus again if you're far away."

"Okay. How are you so calm?"

"I'm not. But if we both lose our calm right now, no one will be helping the situation."

"Yea, you're right, I'll call you back, An."

Clarke picked up her pace again. She was ten minutes away now. She needed to get it together. Lexa needed her right now. Anya needed her right now. She schooled her emotions and called Gustus from her call history. 

"Hello, Gustus?"

"Hey, yes, Clarke is it?"

"Yes. Have you reached the hospital? Can you tell me how she is?"

"We just got here. I was there when her bike skidded. It was a nasty one. Her helmet saved her from a blow. The impact of it might have pulled her out of it though. She's unconscious right now. I know she's bleeding. But I can't be sure from where."

Clarke listened but she froze at the image in her head of an unconscious Lexa. "Clarke, be brave," she told herself. 

"Okay, I'm almost there. Thank you again for staying with her."

"Don't worry about it ma'am, you stay calm on your way here."

"Thank you"

Clarke was just 2 minutes away. God, so much had happened in the last two days. Clarke had been so angry at Lexa. Her Lexa. And now Lexa was unconscious, being admitted. She was probably in pain. She couldn't even bring herself to think about Lexa cheating on her. It's another day’s topic. Today she just needed to know that Lexa will be okay. 

She got into the hospital and took off her drenched coat. She was drenched too. But she couldn't care about it now. She approached the reception and asked about a biker girl who was just brought in. The receptionist led her to another hallway. 

She ran again. She noticed a man with a few blood stains on his hand. She approached him with a hesitant, "Gustus?"

"Yes, you must be Clarke. They've just taken her in to assess what's happened."

"Oh thank you, thank you for bringing her here. I'm forever grateful,"

"No, don't worry about it. I was walking in the area when I heard the bike skid so I rushed over and..."

"Excuse me, are you family of the patient?" A nurse interrupted them.

"No, uhm, I'm her girlfriend, is she okay?" Clarke answered.

"She's stable, but she's losing blood. Are any of you A+?"

Clarke was B+ but if Lexa needed blood she would go hunting for someone with her blood group. 

"I'm A+," Gustus said, "I mean, I could if you're okay with that," he turned to Clarke now. 

Before Clarke could answer. "Please come with us quickly. Have you donated blood before?" 

"Yes, at this hospital itself." Gustus looked toward Clarke then. 

Clarke nodded and said, "please"

The nurse led Gustus to another room. Clarke took the moment to call Anya. Anya said she was gonna be there in 4 hours. Clarke had just cut the call when she heard footsteps approaching her. 

She turned around to find Raven. Raven wrapped her up in a hug and Clarke's tears fell. She was trying to be brave and trying to be strong. But she couldn't, not right now. She needed to let this out. She was scared.

"Rae, she was riding to pick me up. I'm so scared, Rae."

"Shuuu, Clarke, everything's gonna be okay. Anya told me what happened." Raven held her in an embrace as she spoke.

"Rae, she's lost a lot of blood. I don't know what's gonna happen," Clarke sniffed and tried to hold back her tears. 

"Clarke, she's gonna be okay. Relax, I've got you. You're not alone okay."

Clarke tried to calm herself down. She didn't know how she could go from screaming at the girl one morning and then crying for her like a sobbing mess. She didn't care right now, she just needed Lexa to be fine. She was scared out of her wits.

Raven sat Clarke down and they waited. In half an hour Gustus was back and Clarke thanked him again. 

"You should know though, when I ran out to help her, she was just slipping out of consciousness. And she kept whispering something, I thought she was mumbling nonsensically. But when you told me you're her girlfriend and your name’s Clarke. I realised that she was taking your name."

A fresh pool of tears began to fill Clarke's eyes. Raven thanked him for his help and then tried to comfort Clarke as much as she could. 


	50. Chapter 50

**Chapter 50**

"Rae, I'm a fool, aren't I? To think that this girl, who thinks about me when she's in pain and bleeding on the road, would even consider cheating on me?" Guilt was taking over. 

"Clarke, no, don't go there now. Don’t add on to your emotions right now. Let's talk about this when we're calmer and when we've heard from the doctors," Raven really didn't know how to keep both the topics separate. 

It was an hour now since Gustus had left. Clarke had managed to stop crying. But her eyes were red and she was exhausted and she just needed someone to tell her how Lexa was. 

"Excuse me, are y'all family to Ms Alexandria Woods?" A doctor approached them. 

"I'm her girlfriend," Clarke stood up to talk to the doctor. "Her cousin is flying in, she's the closest family she's got. How is she? you can tell us."

"Your girlfriend has suffered a head injury. Thanks to the helmet it isn't as fatal as it could have been. There is slight bleeding at her hip and one arm is fractured. It appears that she tried to resist the fall with her hands so there are some wounds that bled out on her arms, on her legs too. She's going to be okay, but the impact of the accident on her head has her unconscious right now. We should expect her to be under for a while and if she doesn't come around by tomorrow, we'll have to do a few more scans. it's good that she's not awake right now. If she was, it would cause her too much pain.” 

Clarke heard every word carefully. Lexa was in pain. Lexa was unconscious. Her girlfriend was okay, but she could have been worse. But she was going to be fine. She just needed her to wake up tomorrow. 

"Doc, when can we see her?"

"I'm afraid you'll have to wait until the morning. It's really late now. And visiting hours are over. Her family is the only people we can allow into her room for now."

"Doc, her only family is getting on a flight right now. I'm her girlfriend and I live with her. Please can we see her?"

Clarke begged. She needed to see her. 

The doctor looked between the two of them. And then to Clarke. "Let me see what I can do. Only because Gustus is a friend. Please wait here, I'll come to get you."

Clarke breathed a sigh of relief. Raven held on to her when the doctor left. "See, I told you. She's a fighter. She'll come through." Clarke shook her head. And then instructed Raven to call Anya before she could get on the flight and give her an update. 

Clarke sat down with her head in her hands. She whispered a silent prayer to the universe. "Please be okay, babe. Please." 

****

Raven spoke to Anya just before she could board her flight. Then she came back and sat next to Clarke. 

“Hey, I told Anya what the doctor said. She too said she wouldn't be too worried about Lexa, the girls got something to fight for now. Plus, Lexa has been in some accidents before so it won't affect her mentally or emotionally, but she’s never been injured this badly, so that’s gonna take some time for her.” 

Clarke nodded. 

“She also told me to look out for you. She knows you’re a mess right now.”

Clarke's eyes pooled again. She was about to say something when the doctor came back to them.

“Excuse me, ladies, you can see her now,” 

“Thank you, doc,” Raven said, realising Clarke was still gathering her words. 

He led them to Lexa’s room and then left them to themselves. He told them they could use the button on the side of the bed to call for a nurse if they needed anything. 

Raven thanked him. Clarke made her way towards Lexa’s bedside and her heartfelt heavy. 

Lexa’s hands were in bandages, her right arm was in a temporary cast. She was in a hospital dress and she was lying on her back. Her eyes were closed and her lips looked dry. There were tubes attached to her. She had a few scratches on her face that were taped up. Some smaller ones had an ointment on them.

Clarke couldn't hold back her tears now. She cried. She felt sorry for her girlfriend. She felt responsible for making her ride in the rain to get her. She felt angry at herself for screaming at her. 

“Clarke, she’s going to be okay,”

“Rae, I know she is. But this is my fault. She was coming to get me, she was riding to pick me up cause I couldn't get a fucking cab to get home. And she was so nice to me, even after I screamed at her all morning and ignored her all day. Look at her Rae. She’s in so much pain. How did I even think that a girl as good-hearted and kind as her would cheat on me? God, I didn't even give her a chance to talk or to explain anything. I just screamed and I lashed out at her and I left. And here she is. And here I am. And I just need her to be okay.” 

Clarke tried to stop crying. But it really was overwhelming. She could have lost the girl she was in love with. Things could have been worse. Lexa was going to be alright, but what if she wasn’t. What if the accident took her away from Clarke? Clarke would have only remembered the fight she just had with her that morning.

“Clarke, I can hear your guilt, I can see what you’re feeling. But you really have to stop blaming yourself. Yes, you fought with her, yes it was unfair to her, we don’t know her side of things. But you can’t blame yourself for her meeting with an accident, you can't hold yourself responsible for feeling like she may have cheated on you when all that you hear and see points towards it. It also doesn't mean that any of it is true. So you’re going to wait until she's hale and hearty and then you’re going to quell all your doubts. For now, you’re just going to send positive vibes her way and hope that she’s up by tomorrow. And we’ll take it one step at a time from there, okay. You hear me?”

Clarke nodded. 

“I’m here for you Clarke, I always am. You know that. So we’re both gonna help you and her through this. Anya too. And she’s gonna be okay and you’re both gonna be okay. You know she loves you.”

Clarke nodded again. 

“Are you alright?” Raven asked again for good measure.

“I am. Thank you, Rae.” Clarke said.

“Shush. Now listen, I know you’re not gonna want to go home even when Anya gets here. So I’m gonna go over to your place to get you your phone charger your toiletries, and a set of clothes.” When Anya reaches home, I'll ride her out here on my bike with your stuff. It will probably be early morning then. You should get some sleep.”

Clarke nodded again. Raven really was such a great friend. They've both been spending so much time with Lexa and Anya that this was the first time in a long time that Clarke could really see how different Raven was ever since Anya came into her life. She was softer. 

“Thank you, Rae.” Clarke offered again. 

“I told you, quit with the thank yous. Now tell me, do you need me to pick up Abby tomorrow?” Raven asked. Abby always felt like her mom too. 

Clarke gasped. She’d forgotten. Abby was going to meet Lexa when she was here. “Raven! I forgot! Please can you pick her up tomorrow? I owe you.”

“Aww shucks, you don’t owe me anything. It’s mama Griffin, I've missed her too much.” Raven smiled and said.

Clarke smiled. She knew her mom would be equally excited to see Raven.

“I’ll text her and let her know you’ll be there. And bring her to Lexa’s place. Lexa and Anya want her to stay at Lexa's for her time here.”

"Yeah sure, though as much as I want Anya to stay over at mine, we'll have to figure something else out if you and your lover girl are gonna be here," Raven said. 

Clarke nodded.

Raven said goodnight to her and then made her way out. Clarke sat by Lexa’s bed, watching the girl. When Lexa woke, Clarke would apologize. Not because she called her to pick her up. But because she screamed at Lexa and because she didn't give her a chance to speak. And because Lexa didn't deserve the way Clarke treated her, just cause Clarke was doubting her. It could just be her insecurities. 

Clarke texted her mom.

 **Clarke:** Mom, Lexa met with an accident. She’s stable. I’m sleeping over at the hospital. Raven will pick you up tomorrow and bring you to our place. Lexa wants you to stay with us. 

Clarke laid her head down on Lexa’s bed and allowed sleep to take her away.


	51. Chapter 51

**Chapter 51:**

When Clarke woke the next morning, there was a nurse bustling around the room, Lexa was still unconscious. Though now, in the simple light of the morning, she just looked asleep. And Clarke was so tempted to just reach in and kiss her. She got up and placed a kiss on her forehead, “Morning, babe, wake up today, okay?” she said to Lexa. 

A doctor stood outside talking to Anya. Raven wasn’t around. It was 9 AM already. She wondered if Raven had left for the airport. She decided to brush and change into another pair of clothes that Raven left for her. 

She was out in 15 mins and found Anya next to Lexa’s bedside. 

When Anya heard Clarke in the room. She turned around and then drew her in for a hug. 

Clarke didn’t know if Anya was hugging her cause she was scared or hugging her to help Clarke not be afraid. She knew they both worried about Lexa so she didn't ask. She just hugged her back. And then Anya spoke.

“The doc said she’s going to be fine. She’ll need to be at home to recover and not ride until she’s healed completely. She might experience headaches and a little dizziness, but in time those too will wear off. He said her vitals are better this morning as she’ll probably be awake by this afternoon. Her body has been through a lot, so it’s just taking time for her to come to her senses.”

Clarke nodded. “Are you alright?” She asked Anya.

“Yea, yea I am, I’m glad you’re in her life now, I don’t know who would have rushed to the hospital for her otherwise. She’s been in accidents before, but really minor things. She’s never gone unconscious. She's been able to make herself to a clinic to get her wounds bandaged before.”

Clarke nodded. 

“Raven told me you were beating yourself up about it. I hope she talked you out of it.” Anya asked.  
  
“I’m alright now. I just need her to wake up soon so I can apologize. We had a fight yesterday in the morning.” Clarke offered. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry, did you guys get to talk it over or...?” Anya asked. 

“No, I didn’t give her a chance to. We were gonna talk about it when we got home.” Clarke said, softly. 

Clarke wondered if she should bring up Ontari. But she figured that’s a private conversation she would have with Lexa. What if Lexa didn’t want Anya getting into this. 

Just then a nurse came to them. “Ma’am, these are the patient's belongings.” She handed it over to Anya. 

Anya took it and handed it over to Clarke. Clarke was about to keep it on the side table when she noticed something unusual. The transparent zip pouch had a rectangular black box with a blue border. She’d never seen it around Lexa before. She reached out for the bag and opened it to take the box out and inspect it. 

Anya had just realised that Clarke had not come back to their conversation when she noticed Clarke take a fancy black box out of the bag. She was about to reach out and pull it from her hands when she realised what it could be but she was too late. Clarke had opened it. 

“Shit!” Anya said. 

Clarke turned towards Anya, super aware of Anya's nervousness and her reaction was too much of a give away that this was something Clarke shouldn't have found. “Why was Lexa carrying a key in a fancy box?” Clarke asked.

Anya shifted uncomfortably. Not knowing if she should tell Clarke. This was supposed to be Lexa’s surprise. But what could she say? Anya knew she’d be able to come up with nothing right now and it had already been about 5 seconds since Clarke’s question. 

“You weren’t supposed to see that.”

“What is it?”

Anya closed her eyes. Giving herself grief for what she was about to say. 

“Lexa had that made for you, it's a key to the house.”

“I already have a key to the house. Does she think I lost mine? Why would she think that, though?”

“Uh no, Clarke,” Anya smirked at how oblivious Clarke was. “She was gonna ask you to move in with her.”

Clarke was listening, she really was, but she was not understanding a single word.

“Anya, in case you haven't noticed. I stay with her.”

“Clarke, you’re not listening to me. Alex was gonna ask you to move into her house, as her girlfriend, not as a flatmate.” 

Clarke was speechless. She looked back at the box and stared at the key. 

Because she hadn’t said anything yet, Anya continued. “She’s been going over to the key-maker for a couple of days after work. It’s why she’s been coming home late. She wanted to surprise you. She told me not to tell you, but here I am. She’s going to kill me.”

Tears pooled in Clarke’s eyes. Lexa was coming home late because of this. Not because of meetings or worse, meeting Ontari. 

“An, please don’t mind me asking. Did you know Ontari was at the bar last evening? Do you know why?”

“Clarke? Are you okay? You look like you’re going to cry. Please sit down.”

“No An, please tell me..”

“Yes, Ontari’s meeting was scheduled for yesterday with Lexa. I know they met cause Lexa told me about her business proposal right after Ontari left.” 

Clarke closed her eyes and the tears pooling in her eyes began to roll down. “I need a minute,” Clarke said and then rushed past Anya out the door of Lexa’s room. 

Clarke made her way to the emergency exit. She sat herself on one of the steps and tried to catch her breath. She felt sick. She was gasping for air. Anya came rushing after her. “Clarke, Clarke, what’s wrong?” Anya asked.

Clarke was not able to speak. She was just breathing really hard and crying. “Okay, breathe with me, slowly okay,” Anya offered. “Clarke, relax, come on, Lexa’s gonna be awake in a bit and you need to get yourself together.” 

Clarke needed to calm down, she really did, she couldn't give Anya more to worry about today and yea, she really wanted to be okay when Lexa woke. 

“Breathe with me, breath in...and out...in...and out….” Anya rubbed at Clarke’s back. Soothing her nerves. 

When Clarke had finally calmed down, all that was left of her bout were the warm tears that were still filling her eyes and running down her face.

“Do you wanna tell me what’s going on? You don’t have to “move-in” as her girlfriend if you don’t want to and you don’t even have to have that conversation with her yet, I’d do it for you if it helps and I’m sure she’ll understand, she just thought...” 

“No” Clarke stopped Anya. “No Anya, that’s not it. Of course, I want to move in with her.”

“But not right now?”

“No no, Anya, I thought Lexa was cheating on me.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How do you think Anya's gonna react? What's Clarke's next steps gonna be?  
> Also, 'The Griffin Experience' will be uploaded sometime today or tomorrow. Watch out for it!  
> Keep your comments coming :) Or come connect with me @clexafantasy on twitter.
> 
> Update: Okay, I re-thought my decision about 'The Griffin Experience'. It might cause some confusion if I post it now. So I'm gonna wait for the end of the story. Sorry guys.


	52. Chapter 52

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Overwhelmed with your comments! Thank you <3 Love you guys so much!

**Chapter 52:**

“What?” Anya asked.

“I’m sorry, I just misread everything. And that’s why I fought with her. But she had no clue, God, I'm such a horrible person," Clarke rambled.

“Woah, woah, woah, slow down, Why would you think that? Please start from the beginning.” 

So Clarke told Anya everything she saw and everything she induced from her conversation with her. She explained how her mind immediately made up so many horrible things about Lexa that she couldn't believe anything else. Anya listened. She heard all of it, she felt upset with Clarke, she felt upset for Lexa but after Clarke was done speaking, Anya understood. 

She remembered that Lexa had mentioned once that Clarke had been cheated on in her last relationship. Anya understood why that was Clarke’s first assumption when she saw Lexa being fishy around her. When Clarke was done explaining, she had managed to stop sobbing, but she looked so defeated. 

“Oh come here,” Anya pulled her in for a hug, keeping her own apprehensions away. It was evident that the girl had punished herself enough and would punish herself even more after this. Anya couldn't be angry. 

When they separated, “Anya, I don't deserve her, I don't deserve this, I…” Clarke tried to explain.

“Clarke, hear me out. What you felt and what you assumed is what you felt at the time. Do not let that get in the way of this. This surprise she’s had planned for you, she’s been thinking about it for a while. She loves you with all her heart Clarke and you don’t get to decide if you’re deserving of that love or not. Because by God, you are. I’ve seen the way you two look out for each other, the way she looks at you, the way you look at her, boy, the way y'all can’t keep your hands off each other. I’ve never seen Lexa so in love, not even with Costia. So no, you don't get to feel like you don’t deserve her. You’re here, you were by her bedside even though you thought she cheated on you, you’ve been crying your heart out worried that something worse could have happened to her. So no, Clarke. Don’t make any hasty decisions.” 

Clarke nodded. She heard Anya clearly. And she was right. But along with all that love she has for Lexa, there was now this guilt that she doubted her. What was she going to do with that? 

Their moment was interrupted by Anya’s phone ringing. It was Raven. 

“Hey babe, where are you? Have you picked Clarke’s mom up?” Anya said, on the call. 

“Okay.” “She wants to talk to us on speaker,” Anya said. 

(On speakerphone)

  
Abby: Clarke, baby, are you alright, I saw your text this morning and replied to you, but I think your phone’s dead.”

Clarke: Yea mom, I’m okay. Yea, I’ve not charged it. 

Abby: How’s Lexa? I know doctors at that hospital, Clarke, I can get one of them to see her specifically. 

Clarke: The doctor she has right now is good, mom. He said she should be awake by this afternoon

Raven: How are you two passing the time?

Anya: Oh, we’re just talking. Bonding with Clarke here. (Anya smirked)

Abby: Oh good. I can’t wait to meet you, Anya. And Lexa too. Raven and Clarke have told me so much about you two. I’m coming right to the hospital. 

(Anya blushed)

Clarke: Mom no! Go home, rest a while and come back later. Everything’s alright here. 

Raven: She won’t listen. I tried. 

Clarke sighed. 

Anya: Rae, I think you guys should stop over at Alex’s...and Clarke's (Anya said that hopefully, looking directly at Clarke.) and drop off Abby’s bags. Also, I think you and I should stay at Lexa’s too tonight, we don’t want Abby staying alone, cause Clarke’s clearly not leaving Alex’s bedside. Also, if we’re all gonna be here, someone needs to feed Aden, so please feed him and then come to the hospital. 

Raven: Yea I think that’s a better idea, Abby.

Abby: Who's Alex?

Raven: Long story, I’ll tell you. 

Abby: Okay. Clarke, baby, you’ll be alright, yea? Just call me if you need me to speak to any doctor. 

Clarke: I will mom. Bye, I love you. See you in a bit. 

Abby: Please eat something. You never eat when you’re upset!

Anya: I’ll make sure she does. 

Abby: Thank you, Anya. See you guys in an hour. 

With that a silence fell between Anya and Clarke and then Clarke stood up. “Come on, I need to give my girlfriend an answer when she wakes up, maybe even before she asks me the question.”

Anya hoped that what Clarke meant was a ‘yes’. She wouldn't be that cruel to give Lexa a ‘no’ while she was that much in pain already, would she?. Anya stood and the two of them made their way to Lexa’s room. 


	53. Chapter 53

**Chapter 53:**

Clarke was sitting behind her on her bike. They were both headed home. Clarke held on to the back of the bike and wouldn't hold her. It pained her. To not have Clarke's arms around her. "Clarke," Lexa said, very defeated now, "do you trust me?"

"I don't Lexa. When we're home, I'm packing a few things and heading over to Raven's. I'll move everything once I find another place."

Lexa contemplated not taking Clarke home. Maybe then she wouldn't leave her. Lexa decided to take a longer route, she might be able to convince Clarke to stay. "Clarke, I'm not letting you go, I need you and I…" 

As Lexa spoke she missed the signal ahead of her and another bike came from the right and slammed into them. Lexa all but saw Clarke being thrown off, as she was falling too, and she saw Clarke's head hitting the road. "Clarke, Clarke, Oh God, Clarke...."

*****

"Lex, Lex, I'm right here, baby, wake up". Clarke soothed Lexa's uninjured hand. Wanting to wake her up from whatever was tormenting her sleep. 

When Lexa's eyes opened, she couldn't see too clearly. Things were just starting to come into picture but she all but felt and heard Clarke. Her Clarke. 

"Clarke," Lexa said, a little hoarsely. Her throat was dry and her lips were chapped. 

"Babe, you're okay. Hold on, let me get you some water." Clarke said as she lifted the coaster off a glass and then with one hand under Lexa's head and the other holding the glass to her lips, she allowed Lexa to take a few sips. 

Lexa winced in pain as she tried to lay back again. "Lex, does it hurt, should I call a nurse? Can I get you anything?"

"Clarke, no. Stay. I had a bad dream. We were in an accident." Lexa said, not able to talk too easily, her breathing shallow too. She looked around the room and took in the hospital equipment, the self-coloured walls and curtains. She began to feel a little drowsy so she closed her eyes again. 

"You were in an accident Lex, while riding towards the gallery. Your bike skid but you were saved cause you were wearing a helmet." Clarke told her. 

"Hmmm. Clarke, don't leave me." Lexa said, a pain showing in her expression but her eyes still closed. 

Clarke's eyes were pooling with tears again. She saw Lexa's uninjured hand trying to grip the bed. So she put her hand into Lexa's. "I'm not going anywhere, I'll be right here when you wake up."

Clarke watched as Lexa dozed off again, hoping the girl's pains would ease quicker than her own guilt.

****

"You had one job, Lexa. Just one job. It was to keep my best friend happy. And what did you do? You fell into the arms of another woman while Clarke trusted you."

"Raven, I didn't. What are you talking about?"

"You're lying Lexa. You're a liar." 

"I'm not. I'll never do that to Clarke. You have to believe it. Where is she? I need to tell her. Please tell me she hasn't left me. I came to bring her back home. 

"She's gone. She said she couldn't stay here, she didn't want to live in the same city as you. It would be too difficult for her."

"No. No, Raven, You're kidding." 

"I'm not, search the house if you don't believe me."

"Clarke, Clarke, come home with me. Clarke, talk me to, please?" Lexa called out. 


	54. Chapter 54

**Chapter 54**

Clarke had dozed off at Lexa's side after Lexa had fallen back asleep. It was late that afternoon. She was stirred awake when she felt Lexa grip her hand tighter. Lexa's closed eyes were now shut tighter. Her lips parted to say something, but her expression was too distressed. Clarke soothed her arm again, "Lex, I'm here. Are you having another bad dream? You're okay, we're okay." Clarke said. The 'we're okay' was more for her than she could admit aloud. 

It took a while for Lexa to calm down. But she did eventually. And was back to a calm sleep. 

*Knock knock knock.* 

Clarke turned around to see her mom at the door. Behind her was Raven and then Anya. 

"Mom," she placed a kiss on Lexa's arm and then rose to go hug her mother. 

"Clarke, how is she? How are you? Have you eaten?" Abby asked.

Clarke avoided the last question. "She woke up with a bad dream and then she stirred again now. I think she's having too many bad dreams." Clarke said, looking between Anya, her mother and Raven. 

They were all relieved to know that Lexa was back to her senses. "That's good. Now come with me. Let's eat," Abby tried to take Clarke outside the room. 

"No mom, she's calling out to me whenever she's waking, I want to be here. You guys should grab a bite and I'll get something later."

Raven and Anya understood. Abby was still looking too stubborn to let it go. "Fine, I'll wait with you then."

"No, mom, go, eat. I'll have something later. I promise." Clarke insisted. 

So Abby relented. 

***

It was 7 pm when Lexa woke again. This time there was no dream. Her eyes opened to the site of blonde tresses standing a little away from her bed. Clarke. She was talking with someone. Another woman. 

"Clarke," Lexa said softly. 

Clarke turned around immediately. Leaving her conversation with her mother unfinished. 

"Hey, Lex," Clarke came to her side and held her hand. "How are you feeling?" 

"Good. Is that your mom?" Lexa asked, her throat still dry. But needing to acknowledge her girlfriend’s mom. 

Clarke turned around and Abby came closer. 

"Lexa, meet my mom, Abby" Clarke said. "Mom, meet my girlfriend."

Lexa smiled. "Mrs. Griffin, it's a pleasure, I'm sorry I.." Lexa tried to speak as much as she could. 

"Call me Abby and no, you're not gonna apologize for meeting me like this," Abby said. 

Lexa nodded. Still not able to speak too much. She was feeling tired and drowsy. And her head hurt. 

"I was just going to leave but I will be back here again to see you tomorrow, Lexa. Maybe we can get to know each other some more. I imagine you're in a lot of pain right now." Abby said. 

"It's alright," Lexa said and then she looked at Clarke. "Clarke, she can stay in Anya's room".

"It's already been taken care of, Lex," Clarke said. "Now stop worrying your head. Can I do something for you?" 

Lexa shook her head no but immediately felt dizzy, she shut her eyes. 

"I'll leave you to it," Abby said and then kissed Clarke on her head before waving to Lexa and then heading out. 

"Have you eaten?" Lexa asked. 

Clarke's heart felt heavy. Lexa was in so much pain and here she was asking her if she had eaten. 

"Yea, I did, before you woke up, mom brought something upstairs for me," Clarke assured her. 

"Good. I'm hungry," Lexa admitted with a smile. 

Clarke couldn't understand how much more in love she could fall with this girl. 

Her thoughts were interrupted. 

"There you are!" Anya said as she walked up to Lexa's bedside. Raven followed. Smiling at Lexa. 

"We were beginning to think you were only making appearances for Clarke," Anya joked.

"Well technically, this one, too, happened when we were out," Raven said matter of factly. 

Lexa tried to laugh. But all that escaped was a breath. Clarke reached up to her face and held her jaw. There were some scars so Clarke did her best to not hurt her. "Do you need to sleep some more? We'll be quiet." Clarke offered.

"No, I've slept too much," Lexa said. 

"Okay, then. But I think you will fall asleep eventually," Clarke said. And Lexa understood. 

"Stay the night, here, please?" Lexa asked. 

Clarke was about to speak. When Anya interrupted her. "Lex, we should let Clarke go home. She hasn't left your side. I'm sure she needs to shower and to rest a little." 

Lexa tried to not let the disappointment show.

"No, no, I'm not going home until she's better. And then I'm taking her home with me." Clarke said. 

"Home," Lexa thought. Home for her was wherever Clarke was. Clarke probably didn't understand that yet, though, she thought. Suddenly she remembered the conversation she was supposed to have with Clarke and then her mind thought back to when Clarke walked out on her, and their fight. It was all coming back to her now. Her head began to hurt. She closed her eyes and gripped onto Clarkes hand tighter. 

"Lex, babe, I'm here. Are you in pain? Should I call the doctor?" Clarke began to worry again. 

"No, just stay," Lexa said. 

"I'm not going anywhere, I promise you," Clarke assured her. 

Anya got her answer. So she stepped forward and pushed a strand of Lexa's hair behind her ear. "You're both too stubborn," and then she winked at Lexa, "it's cute."

Lexa relaxed a little. Maybe she could stay awake. She could talk to Clarke. 

"Lex, will you and Clarke be alright? Raven and I are gonna head over to Raven's place, pick up some of her stuff and then we’re gonna stay at yours. Abby’s staying in Clarke’s room and I know she’ll be more comfortable if Raven stayed over too. I'm gonna be back here tomorrow." 

Lexa nodded. 

"You're doing alright, skip," Raven smiled at Lexa. 

And then they both left. 


	55. Chapter 55

**Chapter 55:**

"Clarke, about yesterday…" Lexa began. 

"No, Lex. Don't weigh yourself down about that right now. We'll talk about it when you're feeling better. Please? I need you to get better really quick so I can hug you and I can take you home and I can show you how much I love you," Clarke said in a single breath, a sob threatening to escape because she almost lost the one person she loves the most. 

"Clarke, I didn't cheat on you… I...” Lexa tried again. Her breath, still uneasy, her head still in pain. 

"Lexa, I know. I'm sorry I reacted the way I did." Now Clarke's eyes were pooling with tears. "There's so much we need to talk about, and we're gonna get to talk about it all, but I don't want you going unconscious again just cause you're too stubborn to let yourself heal, right now." 

Lexa nodded. She was beginning to feel very tired. 

"I love you with all my heart, Lex. You're everything to me. I made a mistake by screaming at you and assuming things, and I'll explain everything when you wake up tomorrow morning. I promise."

"I love you too, Clarke," Lexa said. "You didn't go to work today?" 

"I've asked someone to cover for me for the week. A guy named Atom." Clarke informed. "Anya's looking after the bar in your absence, don't worry." 

Lexa nodded and all this nodding was pushing her to sleep. When she recalled, she needed to ask one more thing. 

"The coat I had on when I was on the bike, where is.." Lexa asked. The key was in the pocket of the coat. 

"It's there." Clarke pointed out.

Lexa relaxed. She breathed out and then looked at Clarke. "Where will you sleep?" 

"Right here. On this chair. Next to you."

"Clarke, your back will hurt," Lexa said. 

Clarke laughed. She did not deserve Lexa. "I'll be fine babe, I just need to be next to you." 

Lexa nodded and then allowed herself to fall asleep. Her hand was still holding Clarke's. Clarke was right, they'd talk when she was feeling better, so she could fully give herself to that conversation. She owed it to herself, she owed it to Clarke. She was just about almost asleep when she felt a soft pair of lips, that she recognised all too well, place a kiss on her forehead and then pecked her on her lips. She felt a smile creep onto her own face but she wasn't sure if she really smiled or if Clarke even saw it. What she did know is that Clarke needed her to be alright and if sleeping now meant she'd feel better tomorrow, she'd sleep faster. She'd sleep longer. 

****

The next morning, Lexa woke up to the doctor and Abby talking near her bed. Clarke was still sleeping with her head on Lexa's bed. When the doctor noticed her awake he smiled. "Morning Lexa, your girlfriend here doesn't look like she ever wants to go home," he joked. 

Lexa smiled. No one would understand what home meant for her. She wondered if Clarke felt the same thing.

"Abby is an old friend of mine, we studied together in college. When she met me yesterday I realised why Clarke looked so familiar." He mentioned.

"Had I known you were practising here, I would have told Clarke to bring Lexa to you. But looks like you found these two anyway," Abby said to the doc. 

Clarke stirred awake with the conversations around her. As soon as she woke she looked at Lexa as if she needed to know first if Lexa was awake too. 

"Morning," Lexa said to her. 

"Morning," Clarke said to her back, "how are you feeling?" 

"Better than yesterday," Lexa said. Voice a little groggy again. Clarke reached out to the glass of water and helped her take a couple of sips. 

"Well, I'll leave you to it," the doctor said. "Lexa, your reports are good. Your vitals are good. Of course, your hand and your wounds will take some time to heal. And you might experience a little dizziness and some headaches. But you're responding to the medication well and I think you should be able to go home in another couple of days."

Before Lexa could speak, Clarke spoke. "Thank you, doctor, and she will need to be at home, right? For a while?" Clarke asked. 

"Well, she can move about if she can, but she will feel really tired. So I would suggest taking it slow. You don't want any of the stitches to rupture either."

Lexa nodded. Clarke thanked him again and then Abby walked him out. 

Clarke and Lexa were alone now. 

"Now, how are you feeling really?" Clarke asked. 

"There's an ache," Lexa responded. 

"Where?" Clarke asked. Really worried and concerned for her girlfriend. Ready to do whatever was in her capacity to help Lexa out. 

"On my lips. Kiss it away, please?"

Clarke's jaw dropped. Here she was, trying to figure out how she could help Lexa feel any less pained. And the girl just wanted to kiss her. 

"Lexa, you've got a cut on your lip, it will hurt," Clarke said. There really was no cut but it's not like Lexa has seen her face since the accident. 

"Oh, my cheek then?" Lexa offered.

"Is that aching too?" Clarke teased. 

"Does it need to ache for a girl to get a.." Lexa began and all but rolled her eyes but Clarke stopped her midway with a kiss on her lips. 

When Clarke lifted her face back. She was staring into a shade of green she had drowned in so many times. "Lexa, there’s something...I uh..." Clarke thought for a moment and then very quickly she continued, "I'll move in with you. If you still want me too." Clarke said sincerely.

Clarke didn't know why she brought it up right now. She was gonna talk to Lexa about everything and was then going to bring up the key box that was now in her coat and not in Lexa's.

Clarke watched as Lexa's expression went from soft and loving to hard and angry. "I'm going to kill, Anya." 

"No no, don't. She didn't tell me anything. I found a box." 

Lexa's eyes widened. "Clarke, did you open it?" 

"I did." Clarke shook her head.

"And do you feel the same way?"

"That I want us to live together as partners? of course!" Clarke looked a bit confused. 

"No, the inscription." Lexa smiled, happy to hear Clarke's answer but also upset about how she landed upon it. 

Clarke's brows furrowed. 

"Bring me the box," Lexa said, as she tried to sit up a little. Clarke helped her up and made sure a pillow was behind her back. 


	56. Chapter 56

**Chapter 56:**

Everything hurt. Lexa thought. Especially now when she was lifting herself up. Clarke went to her own coat and pulled out the box. She then brought it to Lexa. "You can ask me. If you still want to. I'm sorry I just answered you without waiting for you to ask. I don't know if you still want to ask. Or maybe we should talk about our fight first." Clarke was rambling. But Lexa cut her off. 

"Will our conversation change your mind? Cause I know nothing we could talk about would change mine." Lexa said, very seriously. 

"It won't," Clarke's heart melted. She was looking into a forest of green and yet all she saw was adoration and love. How could she have said the things she said or even thought otherwise about Lexa. 

"Good," Lexa said and then placed the box on her lap and with her uninjured hand, she opened it and took the key out. 

Lexa cleaned her throat, took a breath in and continued. "Clarke, when you and I became girlfriends, I thought I had everything I needed. But then the other day, you paid me your rent and I realised you were still also my flatmate." Lexa stopped, even talking was tiring and Clarke could see it, she almost said something but Lexa continued, "And while, yes, I love that we are not just girlfriends but also flatmates, why go by two names when we can go by one? And I like girlfriends better. So I need to get rid of the word flatmates. I can't have my girlfriend also be a tenant in my house." 

"Hold on Lex, now I'm getting the feeling you don't want me to stay with you," Clarke said jokingly, but maybe also a little worried. 

Lexa closed her eyes, it wasn't coming out the way she wanted, "Well if you're not gonna stay with me in my house," she opened her eyes to look into the blue that was before her, tell me where you want to stay and I'll come to you. Cause Clarke," Lexa took the key out of the box and turned it over for Clarke to see the inscription on the back.

It read: My home is where you are

"Wherever you are, that's home to me. But surely I can't let such a huge house go to waste so I'm gonna ask you to move in with me as my girlfriend before you get some crazy idea about both of us moving elsewhere." Lexa chuckled with that last line. 

Before Clarke could answer. Lexa added. "And this doesn't mean you lose your room or anything. Our living arrangements stay the same. It's just that, I can't keep having you pay for staying in my home. You're my home." 

Clarke was speechless. She didn't know what to say. She didn't know where to start. Of course, she wanted to move in with Lexa. Her answer was a big yes for sure. But this was so overwhelming. 

"Clarke, if it's too soon. It's okay. But I need you to know my intentions. I need you to know what I want and you can tell me if that's what you want too or if you don't want it right now. Or if.."

"No, Lex!"

"No?"

"No, not no!" Clarke fumbled. “I mean yes, yes I want to move in with you, as girlfriends." Clarke smiled. Her eyes pooling with tears. If she was worried about what their other conversation would result in, she allowed herself to think about it later. 

Lexa breathed a sigh of relief. And with that breath, she also started to feel her body ache. She was sitting up too long. "Clarke, you make me the happiest girl in the world," 

"Lexa, don't say such things. I know I caused you a lot of pain the other day." Clarke said, now looking at her fidgeting fingers.

"I'm sure you didn't intentionally. We'll talk about that when you think we're ready for it, Clarke. I know you don't want to talk about it now cause I'm not in my best state. And I trust your discretion. More than anything, I'm just happy you're talking to me now and that you're even looking into my eyes." 

Clarke knew it pained Lexa when she didn't the other day. 

"I'm sorry Lex. I really am. I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't mean to shake you up. And I know I did. I didn't even give you a chance to speak. And I just went on yelling and I made up a lot of shit in my head and I…"

"Clarke," Lexa stopped her. "Calm down okay, we're okay. Yes, we've got a lot to talk about, and yes, you didn't give me a chance to speak or allow me to understand what you were going on about. And we'll discuss it all. But right now, I just want my girlfriend to be with me and not frown or not be so tense and upset. I feel like I've not seen you smile enough over the past two days and I feel like it will help me get outta here sooner."

Clarke smiled sadly and nodded. 

"Not that smile. Come here. Can I kiss your lips and make it better?"

"Lex, how do you come up with these things." Clarke laughed, trying for Lexa. 

"Oh come here, don't act like you don't want to kiss me," Lexa all but teased. 

And so Clarke leaned in and allowed her lips to rest on Lexa's. 

"Hmmm," Lexa sighed. "I've missed this." 

Clarke smiled wide now. Because she missed this too. And for the first time in the last couple of days, she finally felt like they were gonna be okay. Lexa would make sure of it. And she's gonna change her own ways to make sure Lexa succeeds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I've written a four-chapter fiction on Clexa in 2040, post-pandemic. Take a look?   
> I wrote it in one day, I hope you guys like it. Give it some love, will ya?


	57. Chapter 57

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The conversation's coming up in this update!

**Chapter 57:**

Lexa’s pain killers were allowing her to sit for short periods of time. That’s how Abby found her that afternoon. Clarke was by Lexa’s bedside and Abby had just walked in.

“Hello there, girls”

“Oh hey, mom”

“Mrs Griffin, good afternoon,” Lexa said, suddenly too aware of the fact that she met Clarke's mom yesterday for the first time and she may have been really out of it then, to really make a good impression. She wondered if her lying in a hospital bed after a bike accident had already left an impression though. Clarke, on the other hand, was too amused at Lexa’s formal response. 

“Hello Lexa, you’re looking so much better today. And please, I told you, call me Abby”

“Abby,” Lexa said. Just to please her. 

“You have a lovely home, Anya and Raven showed me to Clarke’s room. I can see why Clarke wanted to grab the deal as soon as she saw the place,” Abby said. 

“Thank you, Abby,” Lexa smiled. Not knowing what else she could say to her girlfriend’s mom. 

The three of them fell into conversation slowly and Lexa finally began relaxing. Clarke’s mom was just like Clarke. Easy to talk to. Funny. And she had such a warm aura about her. She saw so much of Clarke in Abby. 

In a little while Raven came by, she got out of her workplace during lunch and brought some food over for them too. Raven told Lexa that Anya had collected her bike for her and it was in a bad state. 

Lexa was a little upset. But things could have been worse, so she shrugged it off. She’d fix her bike when she got out of here. 

“I’ve got something to tell you guys,” Clarke said. 

“Well, what is it?” Abby asked. 

Lexa looked at her confused. What could Clarke have to say?

“Lexa asked me to move in with her. And I said yes,” Clarke said, and she beamed. 

Raven was the first to react. “OMG, congratulations, you two!” She pulled Clarke into a hug. But Lexa’s attention went to Abby who was looking too serious. Almost confused. 

“Mom, what are you thinking?” Clarke asked. 

“I’m sorry, Clarke, aren’t you already staying at Lexa’s? If not, whose room am I staying in right now?” Abby asked. 

Lexa and Raven chuckled. Clarke facepalmed herself. 

“Abby, I’ve been meaning to ask Clarke to move in with me as my girlfriend. Yes, we do stay together already, but I don't want her rent anymore. I don’t want her paying to live with me, cause I want her to be in my home,” Lexa explained. And then before Abby could say anything, Lexa turned to Clarke, “Clarke feels like home to me.”

Lexa forgot for a moment that this was in fact Clarke’s mom she was speaking to and in an instant, she cleared her throat. “Ahem, I mean, Clarke wants it too, as in, it’s not just me who wants her to stay with me, like, she said yes, so it’s not like..”

“Lexa, shut up,” Raven said and laughed and then Abby broke her facade and laughed too. She understood. She was happy. “I’m glad. For both of you,” Abby said and smiled at Lexa. 

Lexa visibly relaxed and Clarke took her hand in hers. 

“Well, I should go talk to your doctor and see how you’re faring and how soon you can go home to live with your girlfriend,” Abby said. 

“Abby, thank you for doing this. I know you’re here on your own work but to keep speaking to my doctor and for always checking up on me, I really appreciate it.” Lexa said. 

“Oh Shuuu, can’t a woman fuss over her daughter and her daughter’s girlfriend? It’s my pleasure honestly, that I get to spend any time with you guys. It makes me feel younger. Especially around Raven, who makes me feel like I'm still in college," Abby answered. 

“In my defence, Abby, you’re the one who said you’ve never tried tacos!” Raven mused. 

Clarke was watching the banter between the people she held dearest to her and at the moment she was more grateful than she could ever be. 

Abby suddenly gasped. And all three of them turned to her to find out what thought caught her off guard. 

“I forgot to keep some food out for Aden!” She admitted. 

Raven got nervous. 

Lexa looked at Raven, “Rae, I thought Anya would do it, why is Abby doing it?”

“Uhhh, An had an early errand to run for the bar this morning, so she told me to do it before work. But then I forgot so I texted Abby. I’m so sorry.”

Lexa was about to say something. When Clarke interrupted. “No, don't worry, it’s not your fault. Lex, it’s okay, I think I should drop in anyway. I’ve been here a few days. Mom’s gotta go for her seminar and Raven’s gotta get back to work. Plus I don’t trust Raven with your plants.” Clarke looked at Raven pointedly. But Raven just stuck her tongue out at her. 

Lexa understood. She was keeping Clarke too herself too long. Clarke needed a breath of fresh air.

“I can come back and check on Lexa when I’m done with the seminar if you’re not back yet, Clarke, don’t worry about that,” Abby assured. 

And while Lexa was okay with that, she began to think if she could entertain Abby herself, without Clarke. She’d need to. 

“Yea, alright, that would be great, mom,” Clarke smiled. 

Abby had brought over some of Lexa’s books at her request. So when everyone began to leave, Lexa asked Clarke to pass her one of them. When Clarke gave it to her. She leaned down and gave Lexa a chaste kiss. “Some one-on-one bonding time with my mom, huh? Nervous?" Clarke asked mischievously. 

“Very,” Lexa said. 

Clarke cupped Lexa’s face with one of her hands and said, “Don’t be, she loves you already, and you’re too charming to not impress anyone. Either way, you already got the girlfriend and you got her in your home too, why do you need her mom’s approval anyway,” Clarke teased. 

“You know what I mean, Clarke. I want her to really like me. Not just because I'm your girlfriend.” Lexa said. 

“She loves you. I can see it. Now don’t worry your mind. Read for a bit and then rest, sleep for a while. I don’t want you snoring away when I’m back again, cause all I want to do is talk to you and kiss you and then when you’re feeling better, I wanna squish you into a tight hug,” Clarke said. 

Lexa giggled. “I love you, Clarke.”

“I love you too, Lex,” Clarke responded and kissed her again. 

Abby and Raven said goodbye to her too and then they left. Lexa began to read her book and then slowly began drifting to sleep. With some effort, she scooted herself lower in her bed and soon dozed off. 


	58. Chapter 58

**Chapter 58**

When Lexa woke later that evening, Abby was by her side, reading the paper. 

“Oh, you’re awake,” Abby said, turning to Lexa. 

“Yea, Hi, I just woke up,” Lexa said. 

“I hope I didn’t disturb you. I thought I’d just wait here till Clarke got back,”

“No no, that’s okay Abby.” Lexa tried to sit up so Abby helped her. Then Abby poured her a glass of water and gave it to her. 

“You know, you don’t have to be so nervous around me,” Abby said with a smirk.

Lexa coughed. But managed to not choke. Her cheeks reddened, “What did Clarke tell you?”

“Oh, just to go easy on you,” Abby said, now smiling wide. 

“Hmmm, don’t listen to her, I can handle a conversation without her in the room,” Lexa tried to be confident. 

“Good, cause I’d like to know you better, from your point of view. Clarke’s told me so much about you. And while she’s always been open with me about her relationship, ever since the move I only get phone calls,” Abby said. 

Lexa nodded. 

“So tell me, if you’re not too tired. Tell me about you,” Abby offered. 

“Okay, yeah, I can do that. What do you want to know?” Lexa didn't know where to start.

“Lexa, this is not an interview. Think of me as a friend. Tell me anything, start where you want.”

“Okay.”

And so Lexa began. She told Abby about her own parents, but her growing up years, what she did in college. Abby looked so into the story. As if Lexa was unravelling a plot. Abby kept asking questions and Lexa loved that. It made her feel a little more comfortable and soon she wasn’t all that nervous at all. 

Abby began sharing her own life experiences as a doctor, and she added on with short life incidents whenever she related to something Lexa said. And when their conversation and laughter was finally showing signs of coming to a close, Abby said in all seriousness, “Lexa, I see how happy Clarke is around you. And I've never seen her this way before. With her last boyfriend, I thought that was her happiest until it all went down the drain, that poor girl. But now I see her around you and her countenance changes. She changes. She’s different, the good ‘different’. And I'm happy for her. I’m happy for you.”

Lexa nodded, “Clarke makes me happy, Abby, in so many ways. I never knew what it would be like when I first met her, all I knew is that I needed her to be around longer, I needed her to be more and for her to have me as more. She made so much of it possible, of giving me this time with her.”

“Thank you for making her so happy, Lexa, you’re a real blessing,” Abby admitted. 

“I try my best,” Lexa replied, but a pang of guilt crept down Lexa’s spine. She had hurt Clarke, though she was yet to find out how. She wondered if Clarke had spoken to anyone about it other than Raven? Was it Lexa’s place to bring it up with her mother? She decided to talk to Clarke first. And as if the blonde read her thoughts, Clarke had just walked in. And with her a familiar scent of her shampoo and her deodorant. 

For all the days Clarke stayed at the hospital, she was using the room’s shower. But after getting a chance to go home and clean up, she truly looked fresher than ever. Lexa realised she too benefited from Clarke going home for a bit, it made her long for her even more. Gosh, the blonde could turn her into a puddle. 

“A hello would be nice,” Clarke said as she stepped up and kissed Lexa on her forehead. It brought Lexa out of her daze. 

“Sorry, I was distracted,” Lexa said, with a smirk on. And then almost as if Abby was reminding them that she was in the room, “Okay then, that’s my cue to leave.”

“No, mom, don’t go yet, I want to see what Lexa’s like around you.” Clarke teased. 

“She’s absolutely normal, Clarke. Don’t worry the girl, she’s already in so much pain,” Abby said as she turned around to get her things. Lexa took the opportunity to make a face at Clarke, teasingly.

When Abby turned back around, Lexa schooled her expression, “Abby, thanks for keeping me company. Maybe we can do this again sometime,” then she looked at Clarke, “without Clarke, of course, how else would we be able to talk about her?” 

Clarke made a face at her, not worrying about her mom seeing it. 

“Absolutely Lexa. Now please get some rest, Your doctor told me if you’re doing well tomorrow, we could discharge you early.” Abby said. Lexa smiled. 

Abby kissed Clarke’s cheek and then kissed Lexa’s forehead. She said she’d see them the next day and then she left. 


	59. Chapter 59

**Chapter 59:**

Lexa and Clarke were alone again. “So, how are you feeling? I hope mom didn’t tire you out,” Clarke asked, sitting on Lexa’s bed this time, right next to her hip, facing the brunette. 

  
“I don't have anywhere to go or anything to do, so I can do with getting tired.” Lexa smiled. 

“Oh is it? Then you won't get tired doing this?” Clarke placed her hand on Lexa’s jaw and then leaned in and kissed the girl. Softly and slowly. Not in a hurry at all. And when she stopped and just kept their foreheads together, Lexa spoke. “I can never tire from this,” and then she used her uninjured hand to hold Clarke’s waist to signal her to kiss her again. And so Clarke did. 

Lexa didn’t know how long they both were kissing. It was easy to lose track of time like this. With Clarke. With Clarke’s lips on hers. And with Clarke by her side. She almost didn't notice Clarke’s moist cheeks until she opened her eyes. 

“Clarke, are you crying?” Lexa asked. 

“God, why can’t I stop? I'm sorry, I just ruined such a perfect moment.” Clarke said, sniffing now and moving her face away.

Lexa didn't let go of her waist. But with a little effort, she brought her hand up to Clarke’s face. “Clarke, what’s wrong? Tell me. Did I say something wrong? Did I do something?”

“No no no, Lex, you did not do anything, you’re so perfect. It’s me. I’m so sorry.” Clarke said, Now taking a deep breath in so she doesn't cry altogether. 

Lexa was confused. “You? Clarke, what are you talking about?”

“Lexa, this. This thing we have, I almost lost it, and I almost lost it so foolishly. I feel like I don't deserve you.” Clarke said.

“Clarke, you had nothing to do with the accident, that was all me. I wasn’t careful. And you couldn't have lost me, not in any way. I had my helmet on, didn’t I? I’d never risk not living this life with you.”

“Stop it, stop it, Lexa, you’re just making this all the more difficult for me to say,” Clarke almost scolded.

“Clarke, what are you trying to say?” Lexa was growing impatient now. She was beginning to worry. 

Clarke took a few deep breaths and then took Lexa’s hand in hers. “Lex, the other day when I fought with you. I thought you had cheated on me,'' Lexa was about to say something when Clarke continued. “No, let me finish, it hurts enough to admit it and it hurts more when you try to explain yourself because you don't owe me any explanation, hear me out.”

Lexa looked concerned, but she decided to be patient. 

Clarke told her about her conversation with Anya, about her getting to know that Lexa didn't really have any meeting all those days. About how she decided to come to the bar and she saw Ontari and then the odd actions between them. She told her how her mind went into overdrive and how she started wondering if she was not good enough. She admitted how disgusted she felt about all of it and about Lexa. Lexa listened patiently. 

Clarke explained how she spoke to Raven and how Raven and Octavia have so much faith in the brunette, that they were sure Clarke was reading differently into something. When Clarke finished telling Lexa all of it. She spoke in the same breath, “Lex, I’m sorry, I shouldn't have jumped to any conclusions and I understand if all of this makes you change your mind about wanting me to move in or about anything in our relationship. I should trust you. I should have let you explain. I shouldn't have lost my temper, I should have been more understanding, more attentive. God, and more than anything, I shouldn't have doubted you. I’m so so so sorry, Lex,” Clarke finished. There were tears rolling down her face, but she had managed to not completely sob. She just needed to come clean with Lexa, she couldn't hold all of this to herself. Not for so long. When she looked up at Lexa, she saw Lexa’s eyes pooling with tears. 

“Clarke,” Lexa said, her voice a tad bit shaky. 

Clarke’s heart ached. She feared this was when Lexa ended what they were growing together in. She worried this was where Lexa would tell her she didn't want to have anything to do with her anymore. Her lips quivered, waiting for the blow. 

“Clarke, I hurt you so much. And all the while I thought I was doing something so wonderful that I’d be making you the happiest girl in the world. But in the bargain, I ended up hurting you, making you think I didn’t want you, making you think I could choose someone else over you." Lexa said softly. 

Clarke was shaking her head ‘no’ all the while Lexa spoke. Cause now she was sure she hurt Lexa too. God, why were they both hurting so much? “Lexa, no, you don’t get to blame yourself here. You were working on something to bring us closer and I'm the one who assumed otherwise. I shouldn't have assumed. I just should have spoken to you.” Clarke admitted. 

“Clarke, I would never cheat on you. God, you’re the best thing to have happened to me since Costia, and I would do nothing to risk the chance of losing you,” Lexa spoke in all earnest. Hoping with all her heart that Clarke believed her. 

“Lex, it’s not you. I didn't think about it first but Raven made me realise that my insecurities were really not caused by you. She helped me see I was acting on trauma and my response to it, from when I was cheated on by Finn. And it was absolutely unfair of me to assume you would do the same. Lex, please forgive me, I couldn't bear the thought of losing you. And yet I did everything to keep you away. It was a day but it felt like a year and that evening I knew I needed to clear things up with you cause I was hurting for hurting you, for not letting you explain. Lex, please forgive me, I’m really sorry, but as I said, if you feel like you need some space to think, or you want some time away from me, I’d give it to you, cause I didn't treat you right, I didn’t treat you fair, I didn’t give us a chance, I...”

“Clarke, stop,” Lexa interrupted her and closed her eyes. Clarke’s eyes showed fear, her lips were quivering. Lexa was gonna ask her to leave. She really was.

“Can you hold me right now? Can you please wrap your arms around me? I’d do it if one of my hands were not tied in a sling. But please can you come here already.” Lexa said, voice still a little shaky. 

Clarke hesitated first. But then she leaned in, and wrapped her arms around Lexa, doing her best not to squeeze, the girl's body was still recovering. But Lexa used her uninjured arm to grip around Clarke real tight. And that caused a new wave of tears from Clarke. “Clarke, I love you with all my being, with my whole heart and with my whole body,” Lexa was trembling as she spoke, “You’re where my happiness starts and where it continues to grow. If I did not want you in my life Clarke, I would have said so, but I was on my way to take you back home. If I didn’t want you enough, I probably would have not survived this accident,” 

At that Clarke whimpered and tears fell faster. She couldn't bear the thought. Lexa continued, “but I did, because somewhere deep down, I was not riding just to pick you up, but rather because I couldn't imagine not being anywhere near you for any longer, especially after you told me you weren’t home yet. You’re like my north star. I just gravitate to you. And when the accident happened, even then something inside me may have fought to make sure I get to be here again, right here, today, with you, in your arms.” 

Clarke closed her eyes. 

“Clarke, this is in no way to make you feel guilty. This is me telling you, that I will give everything in me to show you why you never have to worry about me ever being like the boy that hurt you. This is me telling you that I will be more attentive to you. And lastly, this is me telling you that even if I’m planning a surprise, I will keep Raven in the loop cause at least then she can help you with your apprehensions.” Lexa sniffed and smiled at that last one and it earned her a chuckle from Clarke who had her chin on Lexa’s shoulder. 

Clarke drew back and held Lexa’s face in both her hands. She swiped at Lexa’s tears with her thumbs. “What did I do to deserve you?” Clarke asked. 

Lexa just smiled at her. “Lexa, I promise, I won't ever doubt you or your intentions. I promise. I promise I'll never leave home that way, or ignore you intentionally. I can't imagine a life without you,” Clarke admitted. 

They were both smiling through their tears now and Lexa managed a giggle. “What?” Clarke asked. Their foreheads still touching.

“Just, we said so much, I don't know what we left for the vows!” Before Lexa could take anything back. Clarke’s cheeks began to redden. Lexa assumed hers were turning red too. “I mean, I...” her sentence was abruptly stopped by Clarke’s lips on her. 

This time, Clarke didn’t wait, she moved her tongue across Lexa’s lower lip and sought entrance, and Lexa welcomed her. Clarke kept changing the angle of their kiss, knowing Lexa would be in too much pain to do it herself. And when Clarke ran out of breath, she pulled back and looked into Lexa’s eyes. They were darker. But she couldn’t do anything about it. Hers were probably darker too. 

“Lex, we’re on the same page,” Clarke assured her. And if Clarke was talking about thinking as far ahead as their vows or if she was talking about the fact that they were both thirsting for each other, Lexa was happy they were on the same page about either. 


	60. Chapter 60

**Chapter 60:**

They spent the remainder of the evening talking and then Clarke decided they could watch a movie together. Lincoln and Octavia video called them then and they were glad to finally see Lexa. Lincoln explained that Anya told him to wait till Lexa was better to finally call, but he was done waiting. He felt too far away to come rushing and Anya told him to come that weekend. Octavia’s concern for Lexa too was very heartwarming. Clarke was glad their friend circle had opened up and that they had so many more people to trust, to love and be loved by. 

“You know what? Lexa’s gonna be home by tomorrow. Why don’t you guys come by this weekend and we’ll have a little get-together of sorts,” Clarke looked at Lexa to see if she’d be okay with that?

“Yea, of course, I mean, I might be a little out of it, won't be able to host too well, but Anya’s down. Oh and Clarke’s mom’s here too, so, it's a great idea,” Lexa agreed.

“Yea, and we should celebrate,” Clarke said, looking into Lexa’s eyes, “me really moving in.”

Clarke was about to lean in to kiss Lexa when Octavia and Lincoln both exclaimed, interrupting their moment.

“WHAT? Lex! you asked her? I don’t understand you guys, one moment Lexa’s calling Lincoln telling him she’s gonna ask you to move in, then I hear from Raven that the two of you had a huge showdown, then we get to know Lexa’s in an accident and in the middle of all this, Clarke is now living in with you? When? How? WTF?” Octavia said. 

Lexa laughed at Octavia’s description of it all. Clarke just took Lexa’s hand and brought it to her lips to kiss. “Everything’s alright now, O. We’re good. Now just get your asses here on the weekend and I’ll tell you whatever you want to know!” Clarke said. 

“Congratulations, you two.” Lincoln wished them and smiled. “I’ll get the drinks this time.”

“Linc, don't worry about it, I’ll have one of the boys bring some over from the bar,” Lexa assured him. 

“Alright, then can I bring some dessert?” Lincoln offered. 

“Sure!” Clarke said. 

The four of them spoke some more and then called it a night. Anya dropped in to check on Lexa before she got back home, and they told her about the party. She was game. 

***  
The following day Lexa was feeling a lot better. The pain was now only acutely felt in a few places. Her hand was still in a cast, and she was a lot less drowsy. 

Clarke and Anya were the ones to take her home after she was taken through a bunch of instructions by her doctor. Abby was done with her seminars so she was at home with the two of them, helping Clarke out with a bunch of chores that she would otherwise have to do herself. 

Lexa tried to help, she really did. But she could do very little. And while Abby and Clarke both appreciated her need to want to help, they advised her otherwise. 

At night, Clarke would sleep in Lexa's room as her mom was sleeping in hers. Also, because, she just didn't want to leave Lexa's side, at least not until the following week when she'd have to go back to the gallery. So they slept together, they spoke deep into the night, until Lexa's meds would pull her into sleep. They'd make out but would be sure to stop before things got too heated. Lexa's hand was still in a cast. The rest of her body was healing quickly. 

The party was going to be fun. All of their friends were coming over and so many of them would be delighted to see Abby. Abby told Clarke they had to cook for their guests so she and Clarke prepped a huge meal. Lexa sat by the island counter and watched how mother and daughter moved in such sync. She thought of her mother too and then recalled a conversation she had with Abby, where the older woman told her she'd never have to feel the absence of a mother figure for as long as Abby was around. And for that Lexa was grateful. In meeting Clarke, her heart only grew bigger, for the blonde and for every person she brought into her life. 

When Abby excused herself to go get ready, Clarke noticed Lexa was lost in thought. So she took off her waist apron and stepped into Lexa's space, right in between her legs. "Hey, babe, where did you just go?" Clarke asked. 

Lexa, now fully drowning in Clarke's gaze, said, "Just thinking about you, about us, about your mom," 

Clarke cut her off, a little concerned, "oh...Lex, she won't be here long, she said she's leaving in a couple of days." 

"Oh no no, Clarke. That's not what I meant. It's a pleasure having her around. Gosh, don't think for once I'm asking when she's leaving," 

Clarke giggled. "Alright, my bad, although, with her around all the time, I can't keep doing this." Clarke leaned in and kissed Lexa. This kiss was not a simple one. It was heated, it was deep, it was the kind Clarke gave when she meant sex and Lexa recognized it. 

When Clarke pulled away, Lexa sighed, "Clarke… fuck, maybe we can..." 

Clarke stopped her mid-sentence. "I can wait, Lex. I can wait till you're better. Which is why I've been telling you to not keep trying to help around the house. I need you. But I need you better soon," Clarke looked down at her hip where Lexa's uninjured hand was holding her. "The other side of my hip feels lonely," Clarke joked. 

"Oh yea?" Lexa asked. "I can fix that," Lexa said as she used her functioning hand to turn Clarke around so her hand now rested on Clarke's other hip. Only now, Clarke’s back was facing her. 

Clarke giggled but it stopped short when Lexa pulled her back close to her. Arm possessively around her waist and then took a deep breath behind her neck. Clarke moved her hair to one side of her shoulder and allowed Lexa to pepper light kisses along the side column of her neck. 

Clarke closed her eyes. She kept one hand on Lexa's hand around her waist and lifted the other to hold Lexa's face near her neck. 

"I need you too, Clarke. Just a few more days, this cast will be off. Then maybe we can…"

Lexa was about to let her good hand reach up to cup Clarke's breast when they both heard "oh for the love of God!" Both their eyes opened to see that Abby had just gotten down the staircase and had now turned her back to them. 

"Please tell me when your hands are off each other so I can turn around and pretend I did not just almost witness something," Abby said. 

By this time Lexa had already pulled her hand away and even sat up straight. Clarke had not yet moved away from her. "Ugh, mom, don't overreact! Turn around," Clarke rolled her eyes and moved from between Lexa's legs to go back to the counter with the food. 

"Uh, I'm gonna go get ready," Lexa said, awkwardly making her way past Abby. "Uh, sorry you...uh" Lexa didn't know what to apologise for. Starting something in the kitchen? Or starting something with Abby's daughter in the kitchen. 

Abby stopped her from saying anything more. "No, let's not talk about it," Abby said. She wasn't being rude, she just didn't want to get into any details. "Go, go change. Clarke, you should go too, your friends are gonna be here any minute. Plus Lexa will need some help."   
  
Clarke knew Lexa needed some help. She wasn't sure her mom knew exactly for what though. She smiled to herself and followed Lexa upstairs. 


	61. Chapter 61

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's coming to an end soon! So grateful to all of you for being part of this journey :)

**Chapter 61:**

Lexa was already trodding halfway up the stairs when Clarke caught up with her. When they got into the room, Clarke attacked Lexa's lips. "You got me too riled up, I can take care of it myself. But I need you to kiss me right now." Clarke said between kisses. And Lexa began to think of Clarke pleasuring herself just cause Lexa wasn't in any state to do it for her. "Clarke, have you been…" Lexa had to ask, between kisses. 

"No no, Lex, I mean I can't say I didn't try. It's just not the same since I know what your fingers can do. So I haven't tried doing it myself again. It almost doesn't go anywhere." Clarke chuckled between their kisses. 

"Would it help if uh, if I uh helped?" Lexa asked. She felt bad for riling Clarke up and not being able to help her finish. 

"No babe, we have all the time in the world. If this is the most I can get out of you right now, this is all I want." Clarke said and kissed her deeper. 

Lexa sighed into the kiss. She needed to get better soon. Most of her aches were going away. But sex was a full body work out and for that, she'd have to wait. 

They got ready for the party and they were about to head back downstairs when Lexa sat by her bed and opened the drawer on her bedside tables. 

“Lex, you need something?” Clarke asked. She could grab it for Lexa in a lot less effort. 

So she walked towards the girl. But by then, Lexa got what she wanted. It was the vibrator. Clarke recognized it from the night the commander drove her to heaven. 

“Uh, Lex, I'm all for it, but you know you’re not fit for any kind of back arching activities.” Clarke joked. 

“I uh, I used this the day you walked into my room and caught me uh, with my hands between my legs and the cover on,” Lexa reddened. 

Clarke chuckled, “Ah, that explains how quickly you got back down for breakfast. I wondered.” 

Lexa feigned offence, “is that a nasty dig at my fingers? Cause they can go faster you know, and”

Lexa’s rambling was cut off by a kiss from Clarke. “I love your fingers. And I love your lips and I love you!”

Lexa smiled. “Uhm, Clarke, if you’re having trouble um, reaching, maybe you could use this. If you like, that is? It’s never failed me.” 

Clarke looked at her with amusement in her eyes. “Babe, how are you such a sweetheart even when you’re holding a fucking vibe in your hand?” 

Lexa laughed. “I’m serious Clarke, you don't have to wait until I recover... I know you’re wound up and I keep riling you up cause I miss it too, but like I’ll get better soon, so until then, let's figure out how you can still have some fun,” 

Clarke looked at her with sincerity, “Lex, it’s not about the toy, I can use my fingers too and really, it's not like I’m so horny all the time, it's just, it’s been a while and you spoilt me,” Clarke complained. “But I’ll think of something for both of us, don’t worry,” she went on to say.

  
“You’ll see,” Clarke smirked. “After the party, though. Come on, my mom’s downstairs and I don't want her walking in on you holding a vibrator in your hand. 

Lexa chuckled. 

They made their way downstairs and slowly their friends began to arrive. 

***

Lexa was happy to see everyone, she really wished her hand was in better shape so she could help out in getting the drinks passed or getting the food prepared. But seeing everyone made her heart warm and they all asked how they could be of any help to her. But she really didn't need any. She was able to move around the house now, her aches were limited to a few that were bearable and the energy for the party was really keeping her spirit up. She didn't drink cause she was on meds but Clarke did and so did everyone else at the party. 

With Abby at the party, their games were all decent. No 7 minutes in heaven this time. They played dumb charades and they played Pictionary. Abby and Raven were always a hell of a better team than Clarke and her mom but Clarke was used to it, and now that she had Lexa. She knew she could beat them hands down. That was just how perfect her girlfriend was. 

It wasn’t long until Abby decided to retire for the night. She too knew the gang were keeping everything PG13 because she was around. So she bid her farewells and kissed Clarke goodnight. 

Then on, the party was a rager. It felt like college again. They played beer pong and then some of them danced. They turned the lights down low and Raven, Octavia and Clarke shifted the coffee table aside to dance. 

Lexa laughed at their antics and watched on as the three of them fooled around. Clarke caught her gaze at one point and blew her a kiss. She accepted it and held it to her heart. 

Clarke smiled. Lexa’s gaze flitted to Clarke’s body and Clarke saw it. She knew they both were really controlling themselves. 

Lexa then got distracted with a conversation with Lincoln while Anya and Raven decided to go sit by the pool again. So Octavia and Clarke took their drinks to the kitchen counter to grab some snacks too. 

“So, how long do you think you and Lexa are gonna hold on to this dry spell?” Octavia asked. 

“Excuse me?” Clarke said. She knew what Octavia was talking about, but she couldn't just dive into that answer. 

“Oh don’t act innocent. I’m sure y'all haven't got it on since the accident and the two of you are lovesick bunnies since y'all have known each other.” Octavia mused. 

Clarke sighed, “You have no idea, okay. We get riled up sometimes, just with kisses and then we both know we have to gain some control, cause well, she’s not fit enough yet and really, sex isn't so important right now, I really really want her to feel better, but I feel like the sexual tension might get too much for either of us to be comfortable.”

“Clarke, I’m sure you can find a middle ground, get creative!” Octavia advised. 

Clarke looked at her thoughtfully. She wondered if there was a way she could pleasure Lexa without having Lexa move too much or strain her own body. 

“Ugh, Clarke, you’re taking too long. Have you given her a lap dance? You’d be doing all the moving, she could just sit back and relax and then you can take it from there.”

Of course, why didn't she think of this earlier! “Octavia, you’re a lifesaver!” 

“Hahaha, you’re welcome!”

“Let me guess, Lincoln enjoyed it.” Clarke had to ask. 

“He had no choice. I had to tie his hands to the chair to let me finish the song.” Octavia blushed. Clarke laughed. 

The two of them made their way back to the party and Clarke sat beside Lexa on the sofa. She kept her hand on Lexa's thigh and leaned in to kiss her on her lips. Lexa kissed her back. 

While the other’s danced and everyone was doing their own thing in the mostly darkened area of the living room, save for the few flickering neons that Monty brought along. Clarke began moving her hand back and forth on Lexa’s thigh. At first, Lexa didn’t mind it, but when Clarke’s hand started exerting more pressure and started moving closer down her inner thigh, “Clarke, what are you up to?”

“What? Can’t I have my hands on my girlfriend?”

“Oh you most definitely can, but this is not just ‘hands on your girlfriend' and nothing you can say can make me believe you,” Lexa responded. 

Clarke looked around her to make sure no one was watching. 

She leaned into Lexa’s ear to whisper while her hand slid deeper between Lexa’s leg, allowing only her pinky to brush against the centre of Lexa’s pants. 

“When this party’s done, I have another one for you upstairs.” 

Lexa’s lips parted. What on earth did Clarke have planned now. She turned towards the girl and Clarke placed a chaste kiss on her lips, it was too sweet and tender for what Clarke just insinuated. 

“Clarke, I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, but sure, I’ll take it. If you know what you’re doing.” Lexa mused. Now she was really curious. Clarke got up and went to talk to Emori and Murphy. Lexa watched on, appreciating Clarke’s body again. Fuck, when did she get so lucky. 


	62. Chapter 62

**Chapter 62:**

It was a week since the accident and she was already feeling a lot better. Thanks to Clarke and Abby, and also because Raven and Anya have been helping around so much. She was grateful for all of them. But she was grateful for Clarke more than anyone. Because Clarke loved her and she loved Clarke and she could lose the whole world and still be happy if Clarke was by her side. 

She was brought out of her reverie when she heard a splash in the pool. Everyone was laughing cause Octavia and Lincoln managed to push Raven and Anya into the pool while they were kissing. The two were shrieking cause the water was fucking cold. But everyone one else just had a good laugh. 

Raven and Anya retired for the night. Deciding to shower and head to bed after being soaked in the pool. Slowly everyone decided to call it a night too. Octavia and Lincoln were the last to head out, they said they had booked an Airbnb for the night and that they would drive back the next morning. Lexa offered them her bed, saying she and Clarke could pull the couch out, and Lincoln almost budged cause he really didn’t wanna drive, but Octavia spoke before him. 

“Uh, thanks, Lexa, but I think we’ll head out,” Octavia leaned in to hug Lexa, so she could whisper, “have fun tonight.”

Lexa hugged her back with her uncasted hand and then looked at her quizzically. Octavia winked and then turned to head out the door. Linc leaned in to hug Lexa and said, “I’m just as confused, but I’m not even gonna ask. Tell Clarke we said good night and please take care, Lex.” Lincoln said as he got out too. 

Lexa shut the door and wondered where Clarke was. Had she already gone upstairs? She noticed that most of the dishes were already in the sink and everything else could be moved around the next day. So she turned all the lights off and headed upstairs. 

When she walked into her room, Clarke had already showered and was in a long t-shirt. “Hey, Linc and O said to say goodnight to you,” Lexa said. 

“Yea, I’ll text them, sorry, I just had to use the bathroom real bad and then I just decided to shower. You should too, it will get rid of some of the tiredness of the day,” Clarke offered. 

Lexa knew Clarke's real intentions, she wanted Lexa to liven up a little and not go to sleep immediately. Lexa could manage that, she really wasn't all that tired, cause she didn't do much at the party. “Clarke, I don’t know what you’ve got going under your sleeve, but whatever it is, if you’re tired, we can just go to sleep,” Lexa offered. 

“Nuh-uh,” Clarke turned Lexa around and pushed her towards the bathroom. “You take a nice warm shower, and then it’s party time, babe,”

“A pyjama party?” Lexa had to ask, now standing at the doorway of the bathroom. Clarke reached into Lexa’s drawer of clothes, pulled out a t-shirt and a pair of underwear and gave it to Lexa. 

When Lexa took it, Clarke almost took the underwear back. And Lexa looked at her up to figure out what she was up to. 

“Fine, wear it, but it will be on the floor pretty soon,” Clarke said as she sauntered off, back to the bed. 

Lexa laughed. Now she was growing impatient. 

***

Lexa showered and got out. Clarke was sitting by the bed examining the vibrator switching it on and off, testing its modes. Lexa smiled. She dried her hair off with her towel and watched how Clarke’s attention drifted towards her. Clarke smiled. She got up and walked towards Lexa and then helped her take the plastic bag off her casted hand. She then held her face in her palms and kissed her slowly. 

Lexa moaned into the kiss. She could never tire of these kisses, she could never tire of the gentle way Clarke held her face or the way Clarke’s lips knew so well what would incite a moan from hers. 

When Clarke pulled back, she looked into Lexa’s eyes. She took the towel from her hand and threw it on the dresser. Then she took both of Lexa’s hands in hers and led her to the foot of the bed. She got her to sit and then bent down to kiss her again. 

“You don’t have to do anything. But I'll make sure we both get what we want from this. Is that alright with you? How are you feeling?” Clarke asked.

“As open to whatever you’re planning on doing, as you,” Lexa smirked and looked at Clarke’s lips. 

Clarke smiled, she kissed her girlfriend again and this time she allowed the kiss to grow deeper. Lexa lifted her hand to reach out to Clarke’s body but Clarke took it and placed it down on the bed, beside Lexa. She pulled out of the kiss and then said, “Gimme a minute,”

Clarke reached into her a drawer on her side of the bed, which Lexa emptied out so Clarke could keep some of her stuff in this room. Clarke pulled out a portable speaker, attached her phone to it and placed it on the floor. 

“Clarke, I don't know what you meant by a party, but maybe I need to remind you that your mom’s asleep across the hall,” Lexa mused. 

“Shush, it’s not gonna be so loud.”

“Okay, but might I remind you, I can’t dance?”

Clarke didn't bother to answer. She just smirked.   
After she had the speaker set up, she hit play. 


	63. Chapter 63

**Chapter 63:**

It took Lexa a moment to recognize the song. But before she could bring the name to her mind, Clarke looked at her with a gaze only Lexa knew. Clarke was thirsty.

‘Naughty Girl’ by Beyonce, that was the one. Fuck, was Clarke going to …

Lexa was brought out of her thoughts when Clarke started swaying her hips from side to side. She sang along to the song and her gaze never shifted. Lexa’s lips parted. God, Clarke was going to ruin her. 

Clarke moved her own hands down her body lingering down her neck and her sternum and then started moving closer to Lexa. She was now within Lexa’s reach but not too close. She had a few steps up her sleeve and she was going to do this if it meant it gave Lexa any kind of fun. 

Clarke turned around and bent down, leaving her ass high up in the air for Lexa to get a good look at and that's when Lexa saw Clarke in her red lingerie, the pair from the night Clarke surprised her instead of going over to Raven’s. 

The centre of the underwear was so thin, it beat the purpose of it altogether. Clarke’s t-shirt rode up when she bent, exposing her waist and she looked behind, from the side, to see if she elicited any reaction out of Lexa. She was not disappointed. Lexa’s free hand was beginning to get restless on her own thigh. And her legs were spread out more than they were previously. Clarke came back up and then lifted her t-shirt off her. She threw it somewhere across the room and turned around. 

Lexa’s eyes landed on Clarke’s breast in her red lacy bra. She was growing really wet. Clarke continued to move, her hands tracing her breasts and then her center. At one point she teased putting her own hand into her underwear but then brought her finger up to her lips instead and bit down. 

She bent in front of Lexa, giving the brunette a fancy show of her cleavage hanging right in front of her face. With both her hands, Clarke spread Lexa’s legs out a little, but keeping her eyes on Lexa’s to know nothing was painful. Lexa didn’t flinch at all, which meant this was okay. 

Clarke raised one leg and placed it beside Lexa's hip, now bringing her centre so close to Lexa’s face. She placed a hand behind Lexa’s neck and instead of pulling Lexa toward her, she dipped her breasts close to Lexa’s face. Lexa didn't hesitate to kiss. Clarke threw her head back. Lexa used her functioning hand to unclasp Clarke’s bra and let her breasts loose. And when she did, Clarke immediately pressed a nipple between Lexa’s lips. Clarke could have stayed there longer, but the song was still on and she still had one really important step. So she stepped back and Lexa immediately missed her skin. Clarke was now just in her underwear, and now when she touched her own body, she spent time fondling her own breasts. Clarke spread her legs and squatted down in one swift motion and when she rose slowly, she dragged her finger up her vagina over her underwear. 

Lexa let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. Fuck she wanted to touch Clarke. She needed to touch Clarke. Her own underwear was soaking wet now and she needed Clarke to touch her too. 

Clarke sauntered over to Lexa again and this time she placed two fingers on Lexa’s underwear against the wet splotch there. Lexa tensed up because she needed Clarke's hand inside.   
Clarke looked at her with lust-filled eyes and then turned around. She shimmed her underwear off and then backed up towards Lexa. Slowly and carefully, but still very much to the beat of the song, Clarke allowed her ass to find home between Lexa’s spread legs. She made sure not to press down with any weight, but just to tease Lexa’s inner thigh. 

The song was nearing its end and Clarke felt Lexa’s arm come around her and dip into her folds. She closed her eyes and almost allowed it. But she remembered, she was going to get Lexa off first. So she took Lexa's hand, she turned around and placed Lexa's fingers on Lexa's lips. Lexa closed her eyes and tasted. She moaned. 

The song had just about ended. And Lexa opened her eyes. Clarke replaced Lexa's fingers with her own and watched as her digits disappeared between Lexa's lips and then brought them out, wet. 

She dipped her hands into Lexa's underwear and began to touch her clit, real slow. Lexa looked into her eyes, "Fuck, Clarke, where did you learn to," 

"Shhh, Octavia and I took a class once, forget about that, focus. And if anything is too much, stop me." Clarke said, a little out of breath, but also super turned on herself. Lexa looked at Clarke naked in front of her. She looked down at Clarke's hand in her underwear. And she focused on the feeling between her legs. Clarke was circling her clit. 

She lifted her hand and caught hold on one of Clarke's breasts. She rolled a nipple between her fingers. And Clarke whimpered. 

When Lexa began to breathe heavier. Clarke took her hand out from Lexa's underwear. And Lexa missed the contact immediately. Clarke helped Lexa out of her tee and then laid her back. She hooked her fingers around the waistband of Lexa's underwear and then pulled it off her legs, thus ridding them of any clothes. 

Clarke got on her knees, on the floor, in between Lexa's legs that were dangling off the bed. "Lex, tell me if any part of your body can't take this," 

"Fuck, Clarke," Lexa said staring at the ceiling.

Lexa didn't need to say anything more. Clarke licked into her folds slowly and used her fingers at her clit. Lexa moaned. Right now even if she felt any pain, she wouldn't care, because fuck she needed an orgasm so badly. 

She closed her eyes and allowed herself to feel, she was careful not to make any sudden movements like arching her back. Images of Clarke dancing in front of her from moments ago came back to her mind. She felt Clarke slip two fingers into her. Thrusting it in and out slowly and using her thumb to work her clit. Clarke rose and was hovering over her now. But was not on top of her. She was probably too afraid to hurt her. 

Clarke encouraged her, "Lex, relax okay, don't strain your body, don't arch your back, tell me if I should go slower," and in the same breath "fuck you're so beautiful, babe." 

Lexa looked into Clarke's eyes. Nothing hurt, just a throb between her legs that needed her to come soon. "Clarke, I'm so close," Lexa whispered. 

Clarke was hesitant, but she knew she wasn't gonna leave Lexa high and dry, so she curled her fingers up slowly and she saw when it hit Lexa. 

"Fuck, just like that, fuck, Clarke," and Lexa came. She took a sharp breath in then let it out. Clarke peppered kisses down her neck and her breast while she slowly stroked Lexa down. 


	64. Chapter 64

**Chapter 64:**

  
It took Lexa a couple of minutes to calm down and when she did she brought Clarke back to her lips to kiss her. She moved her hand down to Clarke's breast to fondle it. She didn't know how she was gonna do this, but she needed to give Clarke some release too. Clarke let her fondle her breast for a while and then she pulled back. 

"Come on, let's get to bed," Clarke said. 

Lexa looked at Clarke confused as she got up and reached her hand out to Lexa to help her up.   
"Uhm, Clarke, don't you wanna,"

"I'll take care of it," Clarke said, holding up the vibrator and chuckling. "And don't worry, I've got this!"

Lexa felt bad. She really did. She wanted to pleasure Clarke and though the toy would do the job like she had suggested, she really really wanted to do it herself. 

She let Clarke help her to bed and get under the covers. Clarke then got in on her side of the bed and picked up the vibrator. "What mode do you recommend I use it on?" Clarke asked and looked towards Lexa. That's when it hit Lexa, "babe, keep it away, I have an idea," 

Clarke turned to her girlfriend, "I'm listening."

"Get up, and come here," Lexa said. 

"Ahm, do I need to remind you that you can barely move as much as I need you to?" Clarke chuckled. 

"Shut up, I won't have to. You'll be doing the moving."

Clarke was amused. But she waited for Lexa to continue. 

"I call it the 'Woods experience', " Lexa said with a smirk on her face. 

Clarke remembered their first night. How Lexa rode her face and came screaming the name 'Griffin'. A fresh wave of wetness pooled between her legs thinking about riding Lexa's face this time. But she didn't want to assume. 

"Clarke, you're wasting time that you could spend coming," get over here, I'm very serious and I'm very very thirsty. 

"Lex, you," Clarke tried. 

"Clarke, I promise you, if I'm not able to do it or if anything hurts, we'll stop and then you can use the vibe. But really, I need to taste you right now." Lexa assured her. 

Clarke nodded, she didn't know if she should do this. But her brain felt like it was in her vagina at this moment. Lexa shuffled herself a little lower. So Clarke had enough space to hold on to the headboard and even move freely. Given that Lexa would not be moving much. 

Before Clarke could position herself, she asked again. "Lex, are you sure? We don't have to, I can take care of it myself."

"Clarke, I want to. I want to take care of you. Please?" Clarke kissed Lexa and then nodded. She was excited but at the same time, she was so nervous. She wanted to be really careful. And she was trusting that Lexa would tell her if she was in pain. 

She positioned herself above Lexa's face and looked down. "I'm ready when you are," Lexa said. 

Clarke took a deep breath in and then lowered herself until she could feel Lexa's lips on her centre. And then there was no turning back. 

Lexa lapped at her juices. She licked down her folds. And with a single hand on Clarke's hip, she tugged Clarke lower so she could reach the places she knew would drive Clarke insane. 

Lexa knew her like the back of her hand. Lexa knew the right amount of pressure she should apply at the start and how to increase it as she went, and if Lexa felt Clarke was lifting herself higher than she should, Lexa would grip at her hip tighter, pulling her back. 

Clarke closed her eyes and began to move her hips of her own accord. Lexa allowed it. This was Clarke using her tongue to reach her peak of pleasure. And when Clarke's hips began to falter in rhythm, Lexa knew she was close. So she pushed Clarke's hip a little back and latched her lips onto Clarke's clit. She sucked and at the same time she let go of Clarke's hip and inserted a finger into her, and Clarke clenched around it. She pulled it out and then inserted two. And Clarke whimpered, saying Lexa's name with it. Lexa thrust in and out, while her lips and her tongue worked wonder at Clarke’s clit and Lexa watched as Clarke came. As Clarke's cum flowed out of her. Lexa lifted her hand to rub at Clarke's clit slowly as she lapped all of Clarke’s juices. She loved the rich taste that was Clarke Griffin. 

Clarke was panting heavily. She was reeling in from the aftershocks of that fucking amazing orgasm that her girlfriend just delivered her. When she felt like her knees were about to give up on her. She lifted herself off Lexa's face and made her way to lay down in bed. 

She was still panting. When she looked at Lexa and saw the girl's face. Lexa smiled at her and then asked Clarke to pass her a tissue, she knew her face was glistening and there was only so much her own tongue could lick off her own lips. 

"In a minute," Clarke said and then leaned over to Lexa's side of the bed to kiss her, tasting herself off Lexa's lips and Lexa's chin. 

"Hmm, god, what did I do to deserve you?" Clarke said as she continued to kiss Lexa. 

Lexa chuckled. She didn't want to speak. She just wanted to kiss her girl. 

When they both grew tired from the day's events and their lips finally felt too sore to kiss, nip or bite anymore, they called it a night and fell asleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last update on Monday :) Connect with me on Twitter @clexafantasy. Please leave a comment with your thoughts on the story so far :)


	65. Chapter 65

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last update, guys! thank you for being here :)

**Chapter 65:**

In another couple of weeks, Lexa had the cast taken off and her body was now able to do more than she previously could. She was back to helping in the kitchen, cooking and cleaning. Clarke had to start work during these two weeks but Anya stuck around for the bar. So Lexa had a lot of time to herself at home. She tried new dishes and read some more books. 

She rested a lot more and it was easy to tell that she kinda needed this break. Clarke would come home every evening to a very tempting aroma filling the living space and she was always delighted to try out whatever Lexa prepared. Some evenings they’d order and sit in front of the TV with Aden to watch something on Netflix. Some evenings Raven joined them until Anya came back from the bar. Then the four of them, would play some board games until they got tired. 

Clarke was spending lesser time in her own room now and almost always chose to sleep in Lexa’s bed. She kept saying it’s warmer here but they both knew it was just warmer cause they had each other. 

One night, Clarke ate too much ice cream and was not able to fall asleep. Lexa was snoring within minutes after they just had sex. Lexa kissed her face and her neck and her forehead until Lexa herself grew tired and fell asleep. But Clarke was still too awake. So she got up as discreetly as she could, she put on a tee and her underwear. She went to her own room to get her sketch pad and some pencils. When she got back into Lexa’s room she sat by the window and watched her girlfriend asleep clinging onto a pillow as if that were her. 

Clarke was high on sugar right now but there was no denying how high in love she was with the girl she shared a bed with every night. She spent a long while just adoring her before realizing what her real intention was. She kept the night lamp on and then began to sketch. She drew Lexa’s sharp jaw, now cradled by the pillow. Her slender arms splayed, one across the pillow and one under it. She drew the sharp arch of her body, where her waist dipped into her hips and she left out the more intimate details. Like the swell of Lexa’s breasts on the dip between her legs. No, those details were just for Clarke. Not ever to be recreated for anyone’s eyes. 

Clarke felt possessive of Lexa. She was growing so protective about her too. More so since the accident. Lexa hadn’t started riding her bike yet. Raven helped her fix it. And Clarke knew Lexa would eventually start riding, probably when Anya went back, and then she had to keep going to the bar again. Which would be soon. 

Clarke drew lines to detail out Lexa’s hair, the soft way they fell from her shoulders down her back, some of it trickling down her face. Clarke got up and sat on the bed now, besides the pillow Lexa was holding on to. She moved Lexa’s hair away from her face and behind her ear. And then she continued sketching the girl's nose, and her lips, and eyes shut. 

Lost in thought while filling in all the details. Clarke hardly noticed when Lexa’s eyes opened to find her sketching in the light of the night lamp. 

“Babe, what time is it? Why aren't you sleeping?” Lexa asked. 

Clarke breathed out, she didn't realize she was holding her breath while filling in the details of Lexa’s lips. She kept her sketch pad on the bedside table and then switched the lamp off. She got into bed beside Lexa, taking the pillow away from her hands and keeping it under her head, “you wanted the pillow more than me, so I let you have it,” Clarke joked. 

Lexa smiled. Clarke was so used to Lexa’s body language now that she didn't need the light to tell her her girlfriend was now a little more awake to entertain her. Lexa kept her hand on Clarke’s waist and Clarke placed her hand on Lexa’s jaw, moving her thumb across her lips, both of them facing one another.

“You left me for your sketch pad,” Lexa said after a little silence. Clearly, she was still too sleepy to be ‘quick’ witted. Clarke chuckled. 

“I wasn’t getting sleep,” Clarke said. 

“Hmmm? Why not? Oh wait, it must be all that ice cream,” Lexa said. 

“Yea, it was. But don't let me keep you up,” Clarke said, “you should sleep, I’ll drift off in a bit. Sketching got me a little tired,”

“Hmmm, okay,” Lexa said. But then scooted closer to Clarke to kiss her on her lips. “I can stay awake a bit, tire you out some more maybe so that you can fall asleep,” Lexa offered. And then nuzzled her nose into Clarke’s neck. 

Clarke giggled. Lexa’s fingers were beginning to run soft circles on her skin under her top. 

“No babe, let’s go to sleep,” Clarke assured her with some kisses on her face. 

Lexa pulled away a bit and then brought her forehead to Clarke’s. They stayed like that, listening to their breaths even out. Waiting for sleep to take over. 


	66. Chapter 66

**Chapter 66:**

“Clarke?” Lexa whispered, without opening her eyes. 

“Hmm?” Clarke encouraged her to go on. 

“I get scared sometimes,” Lexa said, voice so small and so vulnerable. “that you may not want to be here, with me,”

Clarke’s eyes opened, but even in the dark, she could see Lexa’s eyes were still closed. But she wasn’t talking in her sleep for sure. Because Clarke’s hand was near her chest and she could feel her heart racing. 

“Babe, what do you mean?” Clarke asked. 

“We’ve come so far Clarke, I’m so in love with you. I hope you’re as in love with me. And yes, I know you’ve told me so many times. But I get scared sometimes that I may wake up one day and you won't be beside me. I’m scared of losing you. I’m worried that if I make a mistake now when we’re so deep in it, the mistake itself could be as big and as deep as the love we share. Because only the people you love can really hurt you right?”Lexa said. They'd done this before, these heartfelt conversations that began with light-hearted teasing and then would get into some much deeper emotions. But this, this felt heavy, this felt like Lexa was bearing her soul. 

Clarke didn't know if Lexa was expecting her to respond to that last question, but she needed to hear the girl out first and right enough, Lexa was not done talking.

“This could be me sleep talking really, but deep down inside, I know I'll never be the same without you, Clarke. I’ll never be this happy again if you’re not by my side. I don’t know why I’m telling you this, I don’t know why I brought it up now but I would spend my life telling you how much I love you if it meant that you’d wake up beside me for yet another day.” 

Clarke took a deep breath in and it was not lost on Lexa that Clarke was at a loss for words. Lexa brought her hand up to Clarke's face and felt warm tears on her face. “Clarke, I made you cry again, didn’t I? Please don’t. You don’t even have to say anything, I just want you to know how much you mean to me.” Lexa gestured for Clarke to come nearer to her, “c’mere babe.”

“No, wait,” Clarke said, and lifted herself off the bed, instead of giving in to Lexa’s pull. 

“Clarke, what’s wrong?” Lexa worried. Did she mess up again?

“Give me a sec,” Clarke said as she opened her bedside drawer, the one Lexa moved all of her own stuff out of so Clarke had a permanent space in her bedroom, just like the space in the closet and the dressing table where all their stuff shared the same breath. 

Lexa sat up, now pulling the covers up to her chest, feeling a little exposed cause she didn't really know if Clarke was alright with what she just said. She had a moment of vulnerability and the last thing she thought it would do was push Clarke away from the conversation.

“Babe, what are you looking for?” Lexa asked, growing impatient and wanting to know what was going through Clarke’s mind. 

Clarke found what she was looking for, though Lexa couldn’t see it yet. Clarke turned towards Lexa sitting on the bed and kept her hand behind her. She took a deep breath before she spoke. 

“Okay, please don’t hate me for doing this without telling you.” Clarke brought her hand forward and Lexa noticed a small velvet pouch. “I don’t know yet what you think about symbols or like gestures like these, I thought we’d talk about it first but I came across these and they just said everything I’ve been meaning to tell you, and I picked them up for us and I understand if you don’t want to, and maybe I should have waited for a better moment, but it just felt right, right now, so…” Clarke emptied out the contents of the pouch onto the bed and Lexa, absolutely confused up till now, saw the two rings.

“It’s not what you think it is, no, there’s time for that. I mean I know I want to, I hope you do too but these...these are promise rings. And…” Clarke stopped herself and then picked one up. 

“Lexa, I want to make a promise to you.” She took Lexa’s right hand in her left while she slipped the ring onto Lexa’s finger. Lexa looked at the ring first and then up to Clarke. “Clarke, I…” Lexa tried. 

“No wait, I need to say this and please bare with me, there are somethings I’m saving for when I place a ring on your other hand,” Clarke chuckled and shivered a little at the thought but then she looked into Lexa’s eyes and saw the woman she loved looking at her so adoringly, with so much of patience and with so much of awe. “Lexa, I want to wake up beside you every day. I want to burn waffles and dance in our living room, I want to make you dinner and watch you make us breakfast, or maybe the other way around. I want to wait up for the sound of your bike nearing home when you’re late from work and then I want to snuggle into your embrace under the sheets, every night. I want to do Sunday grocery runs and I want to hold your hand and kiss it when we wait in line at checkout. I want Friday movie nights and popcorn and lazy mornings in bed and I want to watch you sleep when I can't seem to get any because there’s a peace in your being that just radiates and touches my heart all the freaking time. I want all of these things and more than all of it, I want to make you happy, I want to be the reason you blush, I want to be the reason you smile in your sleep and I want to be by your side every morning and every night. I want to be around you and I pray and I hope that you will always want it to.” Clarke paused. She looked down at the ring. Because now Lexa had tears in her eyes and Clarke did not want to watch them fall. “Lexa, with this ring, I promise you, I’m not going anywhere. Not without you. I know some days we’ll get sick of each other and maybe choose to sleep in our own rooms,” Clarke chuckled at herself for that. “But I promise you that even then, you’re on my mind and while we fall asleep separately, I’m still dreaming of you.” 

Lexa thought Clarke was finished so she began to speak, “Clarke…” and right then Clarke continued while she started moving her thumb along the design of the ring, it was an infinity symbol. “I want to promise you forever, Lexa. But all we have is today, even while we hope for forever. So I promise you all my 'todays'. And if it will convince you even more, that i really mean all of this, I’ll say it every morning you wake up and right before you go to bed, ‘i’m yours forever, today’.”  
  
Clarke said the last few words looking into Lexa’s eyes reverently. Her favorite shade of green staring back at her in the dim light of their bedroom. Clarke took the other ring in her empty hand now and kept it in her fist. “I can keep this safe for you, for whenever you feel like it, or whenever you’re ready. And I understand if it’s not something you believe in, then I’ll just keep the ring to myself and use it as jewellery.” 


	67. Chapter 67

**Chapter 67:**

  
“No, Clarke.” Lexa took Clarke’s hand in hers and slipped the ring out of her grip. Then holding Clarke’s right hand she slipped it onto Clarke’s finger. She exhaled and smiled to herself and then looked up at Clarke. “I want all of the things you said, but there’s more. I promise you tomorrow, Clarke. Because every day that I go to bed, I remind myself why I want to wake up to you the next morning, because you make me impatient for the next 24 hours that I get to spend with you. You make me hope for a longer life, you make me see the better side of every day, you make it all so simple, and yet every moment is like a fucking adventure. Like this one. You just make everything so special for me Clarke. So I promise you a ‘tomorrow’ every day. And maybe one day, when we’re old and grumpy, you’ll probably hate me for making this promise if I and god forbid,” Lexa took a sharp breath in and Clarke took her hand in hers, “if I do not wake up the next morning,” she paused. “Even then, I hope you’ll know that I slept that night, thinking about our next adventure, our next big 'small' moment, our next overly-dramatic, under-executed gesture.” Lexa giggled. And Clarke sniffed, trying to giggle without making a mess of her tears and her moist nose. She reached out and grabbed a tissue and when she wiped her nose, Lexa took a moment to look at the way it turned red. “I promise nights like these, where I tell you how much I love you and then I,” she leaned in and placed a kiss on Clarke’s nose, “then I kiss you and seal my words in the moment, for all time.” 

Clarke smiled through her foggy eyes. She wiped at them. “Lex…”

“Clarke, I love you so so so much. And you’re right, I don't always believe in symbols. But if this means something for you, then it will mean something for me, because our lives are intertwined now.” Lexa took Clarke’s fingers between hers now. Then she brought Clarke’s hands to her lips and kissed it. “I will make you mine someday Clarke if you’ll have me. But for now, I’ll spend the rest of my days living up to every promise and proving myself worthy of your love for me.” 

“Lex, I love you too,” she leaned in and kissed Lexa on her lips. “I should have just taken the chance and bought us engagement rings,” she joked. Lexa giggled and then brought Clarke’s lips back to hers and kissed her chastely. 

“Hmmm, I seemed to have ruined your sleep, now,” Clarke said between kisses. 

“I regret nothing,” Lexa said smugly. Now pulling Clarke on top of her and laying them down. Clarke squealed as Lexa slipped her hands under her top to hold her waist as she kissed her. 

They giggled between kisses, alternated between slow and languid ones to needy and rough. But the weight of the day and their little moment just now was finally slowing their movements.

They were falling asleep when Clarke, half in her sleep, asked, “so we’ll get married someday right?” 

“Hmmmm,” Lexa answered, and then just to make sure Clarke understood her answer, “of course Clarke, I want to be married to you someday.”

Clarke kissed the side of Lexa’s neck, where her lips were closest to. “I want it too.”

Lexa smiled to herself and then kissed Clarke’s head. “Good. Now let’s get some sleep, babe, you’ve gotta be at work tomorrow morning,” Lexa said, with her eyes still closed. 

“Yea,” Clarke said. But Lexa was getting the feeling this conversation was far from over. She could feel the way Clarke was just getting started. Clearly, the sugar had not run its course yet. “I know we’ve never spoken about this, but what about kids? Do you like kids, Lex? I mean I don’t like kids all that much, but the thought of bringing one, okay maybe two, up with you kinda excites me,” Clarke said with a new glimmer in her eyes.

Lexa giggled, now she was wide awake. She’d put up with Clarke until the girl fell asleep. She really didn't mind it. She had to get into work much later. 

“I don’t know about two, Clarke, I mean really, who are we kidding?” she felt Clarke tense up so she rushed to say. “I think four would be the right number, they’d have enough company for when we don’t really want to give them any attention.” Lexa giggled and Clarke whacked her hip. Lexa turned them around and now hovered over Clarke. 

“Clarke, if you’re not gonna be sleeping anytime soon, I know better ways that we can put all that energy to use, than you whacking me like that,” Lexa said with mischief in her eyes, and then allowed her body to weigh down on Clarke. 

“Yea?” Clarke asked teasingly, moving her hands along Lexa’s sides. “Yea,” Lexa said. Now beginning to grind into Clarke, who very naturally spread her legs out for her. “But why do you have so many clothes on when I have none?” Lexa asked. Now reaching in between them to pull Clarke’s top off. “I don’t know what took you so long to notice,” Clarke said smugly and it earned her a bite on her neck. She closed her eyes and allowed Lexa to take her places. 

***  
When the night turned into the wee hours of the morning and the two of them had spent all of their energy, the sugar in Clarke finally wearing off, they lay down on their backs, covers pulled up to their chests, catching their breaths. “Okay, maybe two kids should do it,” Lexa said between breaths. “I think four would keep our hands full and then we won’t be able to have nights like these.” 

Clarke laughed, “Hopeful of you to think we’d get nights like these even with two.”

Lexa looked towards Clarke and noticed that even though she laughed, she was pretty serious about that. 

They looked at each other for a moment, wondering if this was a conversation saved for another day and then decided that really would be better. Clarke rolled into Lexa’s arms yawning, finally allowing sleep to take her over. 

“Finally, you’re sleepy,” Lexa sighed. 

“Hmmmm,” Clarke said, now halfway in her sleep already. 

And Lexa smiled at herself thinking about the promise rings they had on now and about the little Tiffany blue box hidden deep inside her bedside table, waiting patiently for their someday. 


	68. Chapter 68

**Epilogue:**

  
They had just come home from their date, it was their first anniversary. And Lexa couldn't believe they were arguing.

“I swear to God, we’re not going back there. Why the fuck was the waitress so insistent on me having the pudding? Like, don’t customers get a choice? And you? Why were you so insistent on me getting it too?” Clarke asked in frustration. 

“Cause it’s your favourite, Clarke!” Lexa answered. 

“Yea, but I wasn’t feeling like it, because it wasn't at the restaurant we always go to, and it’s damn right rude for you to insist when I said I wanted a coffee instead,” Clarke stormed her way into the kitchen, banging cabinet doors open and close, in an effort to make herself a coffee, after walking out of the restaurant when Lexa and the waitress tried to convince her to get the pudding. 

Not only was it weird, but Lexa was not herself. And Clarke noticed. They were supposed to be out on a nice, peaceful date, a candlelit one at that, at one of their favourite restaurants. But everything changed so last minute, it put Clarke on edge. Over the last one year, Lexa should have known better to suddenly change their plans and take her to an all-new place instead. So Clarke felt her anger was justified. 

“Babe, I’m sorry okay? Yes, I shouldn't have come on so strong, I...”

Clarke cut her off, “So strong? Lex, it’s our one year anniversary, and I was all set to have the perfect evening with my girlfriend at our favourite restaurant and I don’t know what got into you at the last minute. You changed our plans and then that fucking waitress couldn't keep her eyes off you and you started acting all weird. What was that!” Clarke rambled as she went from one thing to the other at the kitchen counter, making herself a coffee while simultaneously putting dishes from earlier into the sink. “Do you want a cup?” she asked in the same breath. 

“Yes, thank you,” Lexa answered. They’d been together for a whole year now and it was refreshing to see Clarke vocally expressing her frustration instead of running to her room and trying to deal with it all on her own.

But this wrath, Lexa was really responsible for. She’d been waiting all year for this day, for it to be the right moment and there she went ruining it because their favourite restaurant wasn’t serving the dish Lexa needed them to serve Clarke that night. 

So with a little help from Lincoln and a whole lot of calls to Anya, Lexa managed to pull some strings and get their date shifted to a place that would help her with her plans for the night. What she did not account for though, is how upset Clarke gets when things don’t go as planned. She hates losing control over any situation and Lexa should have known better. She felt a little defeated for ruining the evening, but she had some hope, she wondered if she could still turn it around.

“And to make matters worse, why were you on your phone all the time. All I wanted was to spend some quality time with you, celebrate a fucking year that we’ve been together, and maybe wind down with a glass of wine when we were back. But here we are waiting on coffee because I can’t taint wine nights with these heated conversations.”

Lexa was quiet, she knew better than to interrupt Clarke’s ramblings. She’d let her finish, it would give her time to come up with an excuse for her behaviour. 

Clarke went on, from one thing to the next in the kitchen. She placed Lexa’s mug in front of her on the island counter, but didn't bother to look up at her, she turned back around and decided to do the dishes in the middle of sipping on her coffee. 

Lexa was threading dangerous grounds by smirking at Clarke’s actions. She was so frustrated, she didn't need to do the dishes really, but she just had to keep her hands busy and Lexa was grateful. Or they’d be a punch coming her way. She chuckled at the thought and regretted it immediately. 

Clarke heard her. She dried her hands and turned around, “What? What’s so funny, cause you seem to be getting a kick out of this night when all I’m feeling is frustrated.” She took her coffee mug and kept it on the counter, back facing Lexa again. 

“Are you frustrated with me?” Lexa asked. 

SIlence. 

Clarke sipped from her mug. She took a moment. Lexa always had a way of schooling her emotions. Her anger was ever so often misplaced. But the truth was, right now she didn't know where to place her anger. Lexa hadn't told her why they switched restaurants. Lexa still hadn't said anything about the calls and Clarke was in the dark about too many details that it almost made her feel uneasy. But she knew she wasn't angry with Lexa or frustrated. She knew she was just angry with the fact that the day wasn’t going as she wanted it to. 

“No, I’m not. But I am frustrated. And you’re not telling me anything, you know I don’t like being left out of plans. Why did we switch restaurants at the last minute? I was really looking forward to their mac & cheese and my favourite caramel pudding!” Clarke said, still not facing Lexa, complaining in her own right.

In the meanwhile, Lexa realized, it was now or never. Clarke admitted she wasn’t angry with her, maybe she did have a chance to turn the night around. She got off the barstool and made her way closer to Clarke, hoping the girl wouldn't turn around until she was ready and in position.

Lexa reached into her pocket. The doorbell rang and it drew both of their attention to the door. Clarke turned around and wondered when Lexa had gotten away from the counter. She hadn't heard a thing. “Is Anya down?” Clarke asked. 

“Uh,” Lexa had to shake herself out of it. Everything was a mess, nothing was going as planned. “No, no, Anya’s not here yet. Are you expecting Raven?” Lexa tried to move the conversation away from Anya, the truth being that Anya really was in town.

“No, lemme get it. We’ll talk about this later.” Clarke said as she walked past Lexa and made her way to the front door. Lexa was right behind her but she stood in the hallway looking towards the door. 

When Clarke looked through the peephole, “Lex, why are all our friends outside?” Clarke turned her face back to Lexa and said as she began to unlock the front door. 

Lexa panicked. Her eyes widened but Clarke was already opening the door. 

“SURPRISE!!!” “CONGRATULATIONS CLARKE!!!”

The four of them called out together, though not in sync at all and while Clarke was happy to see all of them, she couldn't understand why they were all there to wish her on her first anniversary with Lexa. 

Lexa moved quickly trying to make signals to all of them to shut up or to get out or to do anything but fucking ruin her surprise. But while Raven and Octavia noticed her, they couldn't quite understand her. 

“Come on in guys, none of you even said you were in town, Anya, Linc, O, like wtf! And who plans a surprise for an anniversary?” Clarke laughed, happy to see all of them and still trying to make sense of their sudden visit. She was glad they were there though, she would have gotten deeper into an argument with Lexa otherwise. They could finish that conversation later. 

It was only then that it dawned on them that Lexa hadn't done it yet.

When Clarke finally turned around to lead them in, she found Lexa down on one knee, right there in the hallway.

“Lex, what are you…”

“They didn’t have the caramel pudding, Clarke. They ran out.” Lexa said in all earnest.

Clarke looked at her confused. “What?”

“Our favourite restaurant, they didn't have the pudding, so I had to switch restaurants,”

“Lex, we can talk about it later, why are you on the floor?” Clarke said, trying very hard to understand why the pudding was such a deal-breaker. 

“Clarke, listen to me, if life with you had a playbook, it would need to be edited by the second. If life with you had set rules and guidelines, it would need to be updated every moment that passes. Because God, every time we plan, the universe turns it around. And this time it was the pudding.”

“Lex, I don’t know what you’re getting at, but I’m sure we can talk about it later when we’re alone,” Clarke tried in a softer voice, not wanting to embarrass them in front of company. 

The four of them stood awkwardly, feeling as though they’ve interrupted a very important moment. Clarke was about to reach out and lift Lexa back on her feet. When Lexa reached into her pocket and pulled out a tiffany blue box. She opened it and held it up for Clarke to see. 

Clarke gasped. She brought her hands up to her mouth in shock. “Lex…” she said but it was muffled by her hands over her mouth. 

“This was supposed to be in your favourite caramel pudding, no other item would be able to hold it as securely. And I was on calls with Anya and Linc, trying to get the ring sent over to the other place before we reached, and then when it reached, you were so out of it, you just wouldn't order it at the new place, nothing was romantic anymore. And gosh you look so beautiful Clarke,” Lexa began to smile amidst the expressions of despair she had on, “and I’ve been waiting all year for this day and I wanted it to be special and I had it all planned and I didn't realize how much it was ruining your evening and...And that waitress, she just wanted me to be able to do this right, she didn’t wanna ruin my plan of asking you to…" She stopped. "Clarke,” Lexa paused again, realizing none of what she said was really what she wanted to say when she was down on one knee, “I’m asking you to be my wife. Will you marry me?”

Lexa’s proposal did not go as planned. She had a whole speech prepared and here she was explaining to Clarke why she needed her to order the pudding. 

Clarke was shook-up. She was so still, Raven had to hold her arm to make sure she was fine. 

“Lex," She said and then paused, still deciphering if this was really happening. "oh Lex…” Clarke finally moved, she went over to Lexa, helped her up and kissed her. Clarke had tears in her eyes. Once again she was giving Lexa grief over something she had no control over and yet, here, right in front of her, Lexa was on one knee asking her to do this with her every day of their life, this mess, this push and pull, this foul mood, these stupid arguments, and even these moments that were so ‘overly dramatic, being under-executed’. 

“Yes, yes, oh my god, yes, Lex,” Clarke said. And Lexa breathed a sigh of relief. Clarke pulled her in for a hug and Lexa held on tight. 

It was a beautiful moment and while the four of their friends wanted to cheer for them, they did feel kinda guilty for ruining Lexa’s moment but they couldn't help but be happy for both of them.

“Okay, is now a good time to say surprise then?” Raven had to be the one to break their moment.

Lexa nodded and then the two of them were hurdled with hugs and kisses and congratulations. 

When Clarke finally got hold of Lexa and all their friends moved into the living room. Clarke took Lexa’s hand in hers, “Babe, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I had no fucking clue and how are you so perfect even when I’m always such a mess about these things. And I keep throwing all my frustration on you and you turn around and lift me up all the time, I don’t deserve you,” Clarke finished. 

“Oh, then should I return the ring to the store?” Lexa asked smugly.

Clarke’s jaw dropped! “It’s not going anywhere and neither are you!” Clarke pulled her in for a deep kiss and it earned them a whole lot of whistling and calling from Raven, Anya, Octavia, and Lincoln. 

When Lexa pulled back to look into Clarke’s eyes. She knew it wasn't the most perfect proposal, but nothing in their life had been, except for them being in each other’s lives. They’d been perfect for each other and that’s what had always mattered. At that moment, Lexa knew it would always be a roller coaster with Clarke. But God, was she going to enjoy the ride. 

“What are you thinking,” Clarke asked her, looking into her eyes. Looking into her fiance’s eyes. 

“Two things actually," Lexa said, taking Clarke’s hands and wrapping them over her shoulders. She placed her own hands on Clarke’s waist.

“One, that you deserve everything this world can give you, and you deserve me because I’m going to try and give you everything you need, everything that you want, everything that will keep you happy because I’m in love with you and I’ll always be in love with you and your happiness is everything to me. So yes Clarke you deserve me and I’m not letting you go anywhere.” Lexa brushed her nose into Clarke’s, and Clarke blushed at everything Lexa said. 

“Okay fine, I deserve you,” Clarke rolled her eyes and chuckled. She leaned in and kissed Lexa chastely. Then she remembered there was another thing, she pulled back and asked, “And the second thing?” 

Lexa exhaled, relaxed her shoulders, and admitted, “I can’t return the ring. I know things wouldn't have gone any other way, but if you didn’t accept it, I wouldn't be able to return it, I bought it last year when I was recovering from the accident.”

Clarke’s jaw dropped, “You didn’t”

“She did,” Lincoln managed from far behind them, having heard the full conversation. “I helped,” he added. 

Clarke turned back to Lexa, “you waited all this time?” 

“I wanted it to be special, we had a lot of dates, but doing this on the day I met you would make it so memorable and so grand,” Lexa explained. 

“And then I go and ruin every planned moment?” Clarke said, feeling very guilty. 

“You don’t ruin them, babe, you just change them and you fucking make me work to love you and show you how much I want to be with you,” Lexa explained. 

Clarke didn't understand how that was in any way helping their case.

“You keep me on my toes, Clarke, every moment is unpredictable with you, every gesture is made grander just because you won't let it be just... grand. Every memory is now coupled with a fucking whacky story,” Lexa chuckled at her own admittance. She leaned in and whispered in Clarke’s ear, “they’d make great stories for the kids.”

She felt Clarke relax, she felt Clarke’s body all but melt into her. Clake nuzzled her nose into Lexa’s neck and whispered, “then I can’t wait.” she said to her fiance. 

Lexa smiled. 

“I love you so much, Alexandria Woods. I can't wait to call you my wife.” Clarke said. 

“I love you too, Griffin,” Lexa said, bringing back memories of when she only knew her by that name. It caused a chuckle out of Clarke that Lexa felt against her chest while they were wrapped up in each other. 

“Alright you two, now get over here, we’ve got a cake to cut and then some mac n cheese and caramel pudding to gorge on!” Octavia caught their attention. 

“What?” Clarke asked. 

“I called the restaurant’s owner and gave him some grief for ruining the whole plan. They weren't supposed to run out today but some miscommunication caused it. He apologized and said he would be happy to send some over immediately after the restocked in the evening,” Anya explained. 

Lexa looked over at her cousin proudly. She knew she could count on Anya and Lincoln. And now Raven and Octavia too. They have been like family ever since they came into her life. 

“Thank you, An,” Clarke said. She looked at Lexa, “How did you manage to keep these two shut about the whole thing?” Clarke asked, gesturing toward Raven and Octavia. 

“Oh I had to play smart, I know they wouldn't be able to keep it from you. So I kept it from them all year round. Only Linc and An knew. And then when I told Raven and O, I had to bribe them to keep their mouth shut. 

Clarke looked at the two of them, too curious to know what they got out of keeping it from her. “Spill it, what have y'all got from this deal?” Clarke asked. They looked between each other and then smiled at Lexa. Clarke looked back at Lexa and she was holding up six plane tickets.

Clarke took them from her, a little confused. “We’re all going on holiday, Clarke, and your girls have earned themselves a trip too.” 

“OMFG, how the, when did you, when were you going to tell me!” Clarke exclaimed. “After you said yes,” she laughed. She was too confident. Her only worry was doing it perfectly and they all saw how that turned out. 

Clarke pulled her in for a kiss and this time, she didn't pull back until everyone around them was groaning, "get a room".

*The End*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for being a part of this epic journey, guys! A special thanks to the few of you who comment on every update. I know you when I see your user names and I remember that you've been commenting on a lot, so thank you, you know who you are ;) 
> 
> The last chapter is going to be 'The Griffin Experience'. Just a bonus chapter on Lexa and Clarke's first night. I hope you enjoy it :) Please read my other fic too! 
> 
> PS: I might use one of your comments in the summary section of my story :)


	69. Chapter 69

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bonus chapter. It's from the first night that Lexa and Clarke slept together. Here, Lexa doesn't know Clarke by her first name yet. She only knows her by the name 'Griffin' which is why she addresses her that way. But for your reading ease, I've referred to her as Clarke throughout the parts that I'm referring to her.

**The Griffin Experience**

Clarke kissed the brunette under her with so much vigor. She couldn't believe she had fallen asleep, okay, passed out, after she orgasmed. But she was sure she wasn’t gonna let the girl leave without a taste of what Clarke had in store for her. 

Clarke couldn't deny she was a bit nervous. She was sure she’d be able to make the brunette come, she was just hoping the girl would have as great a time as Clarke did. Truth be told, Clarke had been with girls before she dated Finn. But it was Finn she lost her virginity to. That was her first time and though there were many times after that with him, she hadn't slept with anyone, let alone a woman since then. She hoped her reading and porn-watching would do her some good though. She had gone down on a girl once and the girl was pretty satisfied, so Clarke decided to go with what she knew. 

Clarke watched as Lexa kept her hands on Clarke’s waist as her eyes moved from Clarke's legs spread over her, to her breasts and then her neck and finally her face. Clarke was straddling her hips but sitting upright. 

“I’m not letting you go without saying thank you,” Clarke said, as she bent down and took one of Lexa’s nipples in her mouth. Lexa gasped and when she could finally form words, “Weren’t you just asleep,” Lexa chuckled. 

Clarke looked at her, smirked, “power nap” and shrugged. “Now do you want the Griffin experience or not?”

Clarke didn’t give her a chance to say anything, Lexa just began to nod as Clarke crashed her lips into hers. “How are you so good with that tongue?” Clarke said between kisses. 

Lexa didn’t bother to answer. She kissed her back, fiercely.

Clarke used her hands to fondle Lexa’s breasts. Lexa allowed her hands to move along Clarke’s back. She rested them on Clarke’s ass. 

Clarke liked it, she really did but it was her turn now. She started grinding herself down in between Lexa’s legs. It caused Lexa to arch her upper body. Clarke took the opportunity to kiss her neck causing a moan from the brunette. 

Clarke continued her grind, keeping Lexa’s legs spread under her. She was making sure her body was rubbing at Lexa’s clit enough to elicit nasty moans from the girl. At some point, Clarke stopped kissing her and watched Lexa writhe with every push forward. Lexa turned her face to the side and it left her neck open for Clarke. Clarke managed soft kisses along the side of her neck. Even she couldn't tell how she was managing such a devious grind between Lexa’s legs but such feathery kisses on her neck. When Lexa couldn't take it any longer, she turned her face to Clarke and captured her lips in hers. They kissed more fervently. Lexa kept her hands in blonde tresses while Clarke used hers to support herself and the grind she had going. 

Lexa was gasping for air between kisses and managed a, “fuck, fuck me.”

Clarke smiled into the kiss. “Not yet,” she said and then rolled off Lexa and laid beside her, “come here.”

Lexa followed her and moved halfway on top of her, chasing those lips. She didn't know what Clarke was trying to do, but if Clarke wanted Lexa to take the lead again, she didn’t mind it, especially if she got to hear Clarke come again. So Lexa began with kisses, wild, languid ones, and Clarke swore she almost forgot why she changed their positions. 

“No,” Clarke said between kisses. Lexa stopped and looked into her eyes. “What is it? Everything okay?” Lexa asked, breath laboured. 

“Yea, I want you up here, I need to taste you,” Clarke said and placed another kiss on Lexa’s lips. 

Lexa’s expression of concern so quickly turned to one of lust and want and desire. She bent down and kissed Clarke. Allowing her tongue to ravish the blondes. Clarke allowed it, as much as she really wanted to give Lexa a fabulous orgasm, she also really really enjoyed kissing her. This didn’t feel like just another fuck, even though it was what it was. This felt so good, it felt so right and so…

She didn’t know the word, so she focused on the kiss.

Lexa began fondling her breast again and Clarke knew if she didn't get the girl to get up right this instant, Lexa would take the lead again. Clarke, very reluctantly, pulled out of the kiss, “Lexa, I mean it, get up here now,” she said. 

So Lexa obeyed. She lifted herself off the blonde. She placed her hands on the headboard and her knees on both sides of Clarke’s head. Clarke scooted down a little and then took hold of Lexa’s hips. She brought her lower. The first whiff of Lexa’s sex was maddening, even in the dark of the room, Clarke could tell how wet Lexa was. She was keen on leaving the girl dripping. 

“Griffin, if you change your mind,” Lexa began, but Clarke was not gonna have it. She brought Lexa’s center to her lips and swiped her tongue between her folds. Lexa’s jaw dropped and her abs tightened. 'Fuck, it felt good,' she thought. 

Clarke started slow, with long hard swipes first, easing Lexa into the feeling of her tongue on her. Clarke was amazed by the taste of the brunette. She lapped at the girl's folds. Taking note of the way Lexa’s body tensed at some swipes and how she earned moans through others. There were whimpers and some ‘faster’ being whispered into the night and Clarke was happy she could please the woman above her. 

Clarke took Lexa’s clit into her mouth, causing the girl above her to arch her back and press herself lower onto Clarke’s face, and then as quickly as she brought her hips down, she took them back up again, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to...uh, oh fuck, Griffin, just like that.”

Clarke had brought her hips back down and was sucking on Lexa’s clit. It was doing all kinds of things to the brunette. Clarke nibbled lightly and it caused such a hoarse moan from the woman. Lexa brought her center back to Clarke’s tongue and Clarke thought she was in control until Lexa began to move of her own accord, using Clarke’s tongue to please herself. Clarke didn’t mind it one bit. She moved her hands along Lexa’s body, tightening her grip. At some point, Lexa took Clarke’s hand in one of hers and continued to thrust downward. With one hand on the headboard and the other holding Clarke’s on her breast, Lexa came loud and hard. Her body stiffened and her abs tightened. And Clarke felt her cum around her lips and her tongue. Lexa rocked gently now, riding out the last waves of her orgasm, breathing hard. And when she knew there was nothing left to come of it, she got off Clarke’s face and laid down beside her. Clarke licked at her own lips to finish what she started. But Lexa grabbed hold of her face and brought her in for a searing kiss. Lexa moaned at the taste of herself on Clarke’s lips and Clarke thought it was the fucking sexiest kiss they shared all night. It was all tongue and teeth; Lexa biting her lower lips and then kissing it, then pushing a tongue into her mouth and then retracting it to kiss her chin and her neck, where more cum had flowed. 

“Fuck, griffin, that was insane,” Lexa said between kisses. It boosted Clarke’s confidence. She rolled over the brunette and continued kissing her. Now, much slower. 

“We’re not done,” Clarke said. 

“Hmmm?” Lexa managed between kisses. Clarke slowly allowed her hands to travel down Lexa’s body and she pulled one of Lexa’s knees higher, effortlessly managing to place her body between Lexa’s legs again, touching her center. Lexa broke the kiss to speak, “Clarke, you must be tired, you don’t have to.” 

“I want to,” Clarke said looking into her eyes. “I need to,” she continued. She didn’t know where that came from, but she has never wanted to watch a girl come undone beneath her as much as she wanted it now. Lexa nodded. 

Clarke continued to kiss the girl's neck so Lexa could catch her breath. In the meanwhile she allowed her fingers to find home between Lexa’s folds. 

Lexa whimpered almost immediately. She must have been really sensitive since the last orgasm. “This alright?” Clarke asked, to be sure. 

“Yea, just keep kissing me,” Lexa said. And Clarke obeyed. She allowed her tongue to get tangled with Lexas and her fingers to get lost between Lexa’s folds. She dragged her fingers along the length of her walls and moved closed to her entrance. When she felt the girl was ready for her, she navigated her finger to her entrance and began to slip it in. Lexa welcomed her with small whimpers and when Clarke was all the way in, she nodded at Clarke. Clarke knew that was her cue to start moving. 

So she brought her finger out a little and then back in and she kept it slow, still testing how much Lexa would take right after that last orgasm. 

But within no time, Lexa was writhing, “More, please.”

Clarke didn’t know if that meant faster or another finger, she decided to do both. On her next thrust, she added a finger and it caused Lexa to tense at first, and then she settled into it. “Fuck, yea, God, feels good,” Lexa went on. 

Clarke watched her carefully now, not bothering to kiss, but too intent on watching her expressions. Lexa’s brow was furrowed and her impending release had her really high strung. Clarke knew it was just about time. So she kissed between Lexa’s brows and it relaxed Lexa a little. She didn't know where this tenderness was coming from but it felt right. Lexa opened her eyes to look at her and Clarke worried she ruined the moment. But Lexa looked into her eyes with such want that Clarke's movements quicked at their own accord. Clarke watched as Lexa’s lips parted but her eyes remained fixed on Clarke. 

Clarke began thrusting faster and even though that caused Lexa to shut her eyes and allow her body to feel everything, Clarke immediately missed the pools of green looking back at her. She leaned in and kissed Lexa. Lexa kissed back but was soon taken over by the sensation between her legs. She kept her lips parted and her eyes closed, “I’m close,” she managed to say. 

Clarke bit down on Lexa's lower lip and it caused another whimper. When she opened her eyes, one look at Clarke’s face brought her back to reality. She almost didn’t realize the slow grind Clarke had going on her thigh. Clarke was pleasuring herself at the same time. So she lifted her thigh a bit higher and tensed the muscle. It earned a gasp from Clarke. 

Clarke suddenly felt guilty. This was about Lexa, now Lexa was trying to please her. She wanted to make sure Lexa came first. Lexa jutted her hips upwards in an attempt to meet Clarke’s thrust and also knowing it would bring Clarke closer to orgasm as well. 

“Come with me,” Lexa said. Clarke nodded a no and began thrusting harder and faster. Lexa couldn’t hold it any longer. Clarke used her thumb on Lexa’s clit and at the same time she curled her fingers upwards, hitting Lexa’s front wall and within seconds the brunette came. Clarke forgot about her orgasm as she watched Lexa’s eyes roll back, her head roll back and her body arching. She watched her face contorted in pleasure and then as her attention came back to Clarke. Clarke was still pumping slowly into her to help her down and Lexa revelled in the escaping feeling. But she could all but feel Clarke’s anticipation, her wet center against her thigh. She was sure as hell not gonna leave Clarke to fend for herself. 

Lexa didn't care for catching her breath. As soon as Clarke pulled her fingers out, Lexa rolled over and pinned Clarke to bed. She held both the blonde’s hands up near her head on the bed. And kept her face hovering over her. She slipped a thigh between Clarke’s legs and ground down. Clarke lifted her hips to help herself. It felt dirty, it felt all kinds of rushed. But at the same time, it felt like they’ve been doing this for years. A practiced comfort, a practiced ease. When Clarke came, it was the result of a very insistent thigh between her legs and a sharp feral bite on her neck.

Clarke all but expected Lexa to roll off her the moment she came, instead, Lexa kissed along her neck. She kissed down her collarbone, her sternum and then took a nipple in her mouth, Clarke was sensitive, but the tongue lapping at her hardened nipples was soothing, it was tender, it was almost holy. Clarke allowed herself to catch her breath and she kept her hands in Lexa’s hair. Rubbing soothing circles into her scalp. When Clarke finally started breathing easy. Lexa let go of her breasts and laid down beside her. Now trying to catch her own breath. 

Clarke pulled the covers over them. “That was…” Clarke began. But Lexa didn’t let her finish. “That was fucking amazing.” 

Clarke chuckled. She turned towards Lexa and watched as the girl's chest rose and fell while she tried to breathe easily. So Clarke scooted towards her and warped an arm and a leg over her. Lexa laid out her hand so Clarke could scoot in and lay her head close to her chest. And like they’ve been in the position before, comfortable and at ease, both of them fell in place with each other.

Clarke placed a kiss on Lexa’s chest right before sleep took her over. She didn't allow herself to overthink it this time, it may have been uncalled for, but it sure as hell did not feel wrong. With a deep breath in, taking in the scent that was Lexa, Clarke allowed herself to fall asleep. 

Lexa felt a kiss on her chest and her immediate response to it was a quick kiss on the blonde's head, nestled close to her neck. She brought her arm tighter around the girl and felt like this could be the first of many more nights with her, if only the girl wanted to see her again. She knew she’d have to figure that part out but for now, it felt like enough. So she closed her eyes and allowed sleep to take her over. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hit me up on Twitter if you guys are there   
> @clexafantasy   
> Or tell your friends about this fic, I'd really appreciate it :)


End file.
